HUMP REPORT TWO DAYS LATE

Turtle Boy, Humberto Cavalheiro, (fresh from wins in Europe) kicked ass on The Hump… while helping to represent Westwood Velo—as does just about everybody else who is anybody else.

You are already last.

Until we get home, anybody else trying to post will only see this. >>>

Not bad considering we have only ridden the last 2 week ends.

This promises to be a great riding season. Hope the ARC team has just as much fun spinning those watt meters.

What the fuck was that?!

Yes, abso-fucking-lutely.

2) Fees?

Your ass in a sling.
Otherwise, $FREE.00

We leave here tomorrow

Chatterbox posting will be briefly blocked till we get back online.

Do you have Dura-ace 10 speed?

THIS MORNING IN:
NOW HOW'D THEY GET HERE?

Looks like Lauren Warren is being investigated by the authorities.

During this morning's review of the ARC website usage logs, we found somebody arriving via this AOL search. >>>

Also, somebody out west hit one of our special watts pages from their google search: "how do you get the srm power meter to read average wattage continuously"

They put the page in their favorites… as well they should.

In any case, probably the best answer to how to get the SRM to read average watts continuously would be to buy a Powertap.

I was getting tired of thinking I can ride with Mary, and I need just one good hill to put that nonsense out of my mind.

Plus this morning's Endico website usage logs showed three pre-shoppers online last night.

I've only got about 100 miles to finish up my spring 2000, so soon as weather looks somewhat clear all the way up the coast: we are on the road, baby.

That one is gonna hurt in the mornin'! It is worse than any horror movie left to the imagination! I have all kinds of images of what is going on with the muscles.

Egads Mary!

This year's somewhat improved posture goes along with her new cycling personal bests… 1 min @ 362, and 30 seconds at 428 today.

Last year we struggled and failed trying to get her to hit 400 under any circumstance.

Today she was over that almost all the way to the one minute mark, and she was still limping from yesterday's P.B. eight minute.

Of course, she is also spending her computer time like this. >>>

However, it is unlikely Humberto himself will ever best his top ranked effort, because last Sunday he was poised in the sprint to take 5th place in the Bethel race when somebody clipped him and sent him into the weeds.

He still hasn't caught on that the reason he can now wrap his left leg around his head three times is because somewhere during his third (out of the seven leg flopping rollovers) he tore connective tissue which snapped his gracilis up into his nut sack like a window shade.

By the time numb nuts finally feels it and goes to get it checked out... well, Widder ain't all that worried about Mr. Cavalheiro's future cycling prospects.

Why have you kept her on floor exercises and technical cycling for so long?

This is no joke. >>>

Parents expected to drive their kids over to their high school music recital instead of staying home with them to watch the American Idol Grand Finale?

When I'm ready, I'll hop on the bandwagon and train with not only heart rate and PE, but watts, air density, multiple regression analysis, compression hats and pants, whatever it takes to kick your BUTT!

PS, you do have your compression hat don't you?

I use my power meter to tell me just exactly how good I'm doing, and yes, I have a compression hat, but I only use it while crashing.

The power meter has obsoleted each and every other training tool, so a watt meter is all you'll need to kick my butt, but I guess I didn't sell you hard enough, because my next frame is going to be the cheapest thing I can get from Wal-Mart.

I'll stick a power meter on it and make it more valuable to improving my performance than the most expensive of all those fancy Madoff frames which are currently the rage.

Otherwise, you got it spot on about the metering delay. What if your car's ABS system responded to watts with the same precision?

So the technology to get performance facts instantaneously exists, just not in cycling yet, if ever.

The next thing on my wish list would be a reading for tenth of a watt instead of only a full watt. That would help me (and more so Mary) control average power during an interval, and could have helped with the explanation of the Spun Crystals exercise.

The next thing I'd like… well, I've got lots and lots and lots of suggestions, but in the meantime I'm just taking every chance I can to pretend anybody really cares one way or another, as in, "I knew you didn't have a power meter, I just wanted to post that video."

As an aside, I actually have no fucking idea what the fuck a compression hat is.

I'm still trying to figure out Palletman's peanut butter reference regarding the dog beach.

Either it's something about all the salmonella that obviously must be laying all over the place, or just something to spread on and lick off all the white bread bitches.

HOLD THE PRESSES!!!

The Empire State Games are being run after all….

All this stuff about watts will now pay off, right Sling?

Sounds like somebody else finally broke down and got a power meter, and lucky for you, you have come to the right place.

I'm not saying I'm a genius, because everbody already knows that, but now I can move to the next lesson which should knock your socks off.

You may recall all the work we did with Mary working toward an understanding of efficient power, but I haven't yet reported on her recent major successes using the techniques we developed.

In summary, last week we did a few exercises on the Suncoast Trail where she did pop-watt repeats over 600+ watts.

You may also remember that last year, she never even hit 600 till mid-summer, and now she is doing repeat intervals popping over it.

Then we did some more work on her current goal which is a series of 10 x 60 second intervals averaging over 300+.

Last time we tried it, she threw up in her mouth after six, and we finished with three more in which she threw up in her mouth for each one.

Still, she didn't quite get all 10 over 300, so we went back for another attempt after her 600 pop-watts and used what she had learned.

What she had learned was that 600+ can be rather easy, or totally impossible, depending on how well she handles her Spun Crystals technique.

In other words, there is a very strong coordination factor required for maintaining high wattage, and that does not even mean over time, but momentarily,

So for the most recent 300's she channled her 600's and ended up with 8 successful—though one was 299 due to trail traffic getting in her way.

I had her bail out of 9 and 10, because I saw her left leg was going, but her big improvement was that she did not puke, not even once.

You may also recall how hard it has been to give her an understanding of what overworking means, plus recall discussions about how easy it is to overwork.

The extra link at left…

<<<

…is a repeat publication of her performance a few weeks ago where she overworked the start of an interval.

Add to that the fact that her most recent 300's were all 1.5 to 2.0 miles per hour slower than her previous attempt, because this time we were working into a headwind, and that merely points out how worthless speed is as a measurement of true performance.

Therefore, the stuff I have been showing her could never be understood without the help of a power meter, especially since none of this has stressed her cardio very much.

I am really glad to hear somebody else finally has a power meter, so I can take the opportunity to discuss just how hard it is to "feel" actual effort.

Even 600+ watts feels extremely easy using the correct technique, and I really don't know of anybody else who can explain how hard it is to get a handle on it, even if you are using a power meter.

I haven't heard anybody else talking about this even among those who are using a power meter on the road, and the people discussing using one on a stationary seem even less connected.

But never fear, Mr. Clip, because I have prepared an instructional video which clearly illustrates the first and foremost problem with all power meters.

It has to do with the speed of metering, and how the delay inherent in all of them can lead riders to overwork: way, way, way beyond what they need to be doing to achieve and hold any given effort.

Your main first goal should be to gain a refined sense of how much effort, and at what cadence, immediately results in a given number of watts—understanding that a 23+ mph pace is equal to only 260 watts effort while 600+ can feel rather easy when you start.

Sit back and enjoy this little video which clearly reveals the first problem you must overcome in trying to decide just how "hard" a given wattage should feel. >>>

What happened?

They had to substitute bull riding, because cycling is too dangerous.

It was scaring the children.

Everybody else knew enough to start at the beginning and click through in order… all the way through.

Last time I saw him talking it was about the illicit sex trade and found out later he was patronizing hookers.

Now that he's talking about financial indescretion what do ya think? Has he got an Amway business on the side?

To the rest of you: No. I cannot make this shit up. Well, ok, maybe the part about them being in a circle.

It is the street crossing near the Eagle Nest showing some of the posts like the one Mary ran into two years ago.

Notice how well the crossing is marked.

In Florida State it is the law for cars to stop for cyclists and pedestrians in such cross walks.

As we were walking away from the photo shoot, we heard a commotion, looked up to see three cyclists coming across the street while a car sped past with the driver shouting, "Fuck you, ASSHOLES!"

One of the riders was shouting, "No, Fuck YOU asshole. It's a fucking cross walk!"

We routinely get screamed at by motorists even when we are in clearly marked bike lanes surrounded by signs plainly stating, "RIGHT LANE BICYCLES ONLY."

In that particular cross walk shown, it is typical for motorists to speed up in order to scare you off the road.

Do you really think your own local red-necks around Florida, New York give a hoot whether you are riding the Hump single file—while even double file would be legal?

They just want you off the road… period, and they will probably complain to the local police until that happens.

After the Eagle photo shoot, Widder made me go to the damn dog park. >>>

While we are approaching this. >>>

HUMP REPORT

In late breaking news Westwood Velo takes 5 out of the 6 top spots…

… probably.

I also reported them as spammers.

I actually don't like that the exercise is called core abdominals as there is actually a kinetic response that runs head to toe doing these.

This can be seen and felt if one is doing the exercise correctly and dorsiflexing the toes during 3 of the positions - back, left side, and right side.

Forgive the short response, I have been fighting a fever for the past 2 days sick in bed :( - you know, think back (if you can) to those Northeast winters in your memory from long ago… before you started to go South…

Thanks for the confirmation, and your response was perfectly long enough; but (if you don't mind), I will refrain from remembering anything about cold days locked indoors.

It's a 10 lb gain at the mere mention.

As an aside (to everybody else), unfortunately Lauren is down sick with fever, so… ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK!!

I was showing Mary a special practice technique to work on individuating her Tibialis posterior from her Flexor digitorum while she is doing her floor exercises by using a combination of micro-flexions coupled with follow-up palpations in order to gain control over the muscles first by innervating them then strengthening them.

You see, the Tibialis posterior passes anteriorly to the sustenaculum tali while the Flexor digitorum passes posteriorly to the same small protruberance.

Therefore, you can first gain kinesthetic awareness of the two together during ankle rolls by focusing your attention near the medial malleolus and tensing that area.

After mastering that step, you can then palpate the sustenaculum and follow the movement under and over it back up onto the calf and approximate a hinting of the micro-flexion for the inversion of the ankle by using the Tibialis alternating with a hinting of the digital flexion while gaining a haptic sense for the two muscles near their superior attachment.

Eventually you will be able to individuate each, and have a more precise control over the interplay of both.

Of course you also have to watch out for the involvement of the Flexor hallucis longus which will tend toward engaging both peronius muscles.

I always work on my peronius first, then move medially, because my lateral calves are over developed relative to the inner, so I "tire out" the stronger muscles before focusing on the weaker.

The hardest part is often learning to relax proximal muscles (sometimes not so proximate) which tend toward involvement.

Tension begets tension. Relaxation begets control.

Working each individual muscle in turn then consolidating the control happens through an iterative process.

It's easier to show than to describe, and you have to follow the same process for both sides of the calf.

In any case, the problem with Mary's slight willowy back can be approached in the same manner.

The final step for Mary will probably be an engagement of her abdominals in order to support a reversal of the arch.

Lauren's suggestion to work on the core exercises will accomplish the same thing as our discussion of the Tibialis and Flexor individuation, but in a somewhat less direct manner.

The important thing is to bring conscious haptic response to the involved muscle groups (not necessarily strength per se), and that can be accomplished in any number of ways.

Either a person can know the specific underlying structures, or they can be led to the correct movement in a rather generalized manner.

In music lessons, I sometimes put a student on the correct path by merely moving a finger in the right direction to the correct position several times till the student "got it."

Your confusion may stem from the current universal misuse of the term "core," which has become synonymous with abdominal work done for the sole purpose of spot reducing the stomach which is of course impossible, but it has become a great come-on for just about every workout program now popular.

Actually, the core muscles are the deep muscles of the spine, just as important to develop as talked about, but rarely understood for what they are and what they do.

Doesn't matter though, because if you do the "core" work, you will be working on the deep spine even if you think you are only working on getting a flatter stomach, which will also happen.

Now don't be fucking up her house cleaning on me. If she gets a break, she starts comimg up with chores for me.

Get your ass in here and give Mary a hint on how to get her back a little stiffer.

WESTWOOD VELO TAKES OVER HUMP

Westwood Velo has finally achieved full dominance of the Hump, and they did so without fielding a single rider!

In an attack of pure tactical genius, Westwood Velo merely signed on almost every one of the FRONT of the FRONT GROUP riders thus ensuring that on any given Saturday they will post 5 out of 6 of the top finishers.

Westwood Velo recently added (fresh from his victory in Europe) Turtle Boy Humberto Cavalheiro to their already acquired ranks of Frickin Dave Freifelder, TP Joe Straub, Pretty Boy Glenn Babikian, and Andreas Runggatscher, so they now have but one rider to go, and they will totally own the Hump through an unfriendly takeover.

Assuming Rudy never shows up again.

Looks pretty though. Sort of the web version of a Madoffing.

That was put there by an automated forms spamming robot from an IP# originating from Amsterdam. RIPE Network Coordination Centre more specifically.

I did disable some of the dangerous linkage.

Don't try to copy/paste the links shown and go there, or you might get your own IP# blocked from some major search site.

A large part of my day is always wasted tracking down such activity and blocking the IP#'s from ARC and all my other websites.

It is an impossible task that makes wack-a-mole look like an attractive career path. Those links are all bullshit links, but if a robot finds a site that accepts the code that establishes those links, it is an open invitation to be fucked by major computer hijinks.

There is a rather simple way to block all such code, but it would make the ChatterBox slightly less functional.

The hours and hours of standing in front of a computer overeating due to the stress and brain food that it takes to block this shit by hand is just too much.

Sorry, but nobody can put in bold, italic, and internal links anymore.

Standing at my computer writing something long is one of big the things I avoid.

However, a quick summary would include a description of the several years I thought my numb toes were because of tight shoes strapped around winter socks and riding too far in the too cold… until I noticed it happening in July and 94° with extra loose shoe straps.

In any case, here's the quick fix.

Do a web search for piriformis syndrome. There is also a possible gemellus connection.

You may recall Widder went through this, and has had a more or less 100% correction, except she still compulsively stretches her hamstring night and day.

An even more certain fix: set up an appointment with Lauren Warren and/or Dr. Art. That would also assure you don't do something based on SlingShot's half-assed assumption of probability.

In the meantime read these books:

1) Egoscue 1992
2) Brourman 1998
3) Romanov 2002

4) Calais-Germain 2007

…which is basically the mechanicals and wiring schematics for the human body.

A breakaway can only ever work if members from different teams are in it.

If it is only a couple guys from one team, the other riders are never going to let it go.

Stop chasing ghosts.

I am upgrading the internal links and making them more specific, so I can be sure nobody gets bad info.

With the porph it becomes even more of a challenge to get enough carbs in.

Here is my big problem. >>>

I make her do 300 watt intervals till she pukes in her mouth. Then we do three more and call it quits.

Since she was off, I needed a project, and I remembered Lauren's coach has her on a restricted 200 watt diet.

I figured that would be just perfect for me, but I knew I could do better than that, so I upped the ante: after a 1/2 hr warmup I did 2 hrs and 30 minutes with a personal best of under 100 watts!!!

I've never been able to do that few watts before, but I was inspired.

Take that, Lauren.

I can show restraint good as the next one, and I wasn't even saving myself for swimming and running. I just didn't do more, because I didn't have to.

It's not like I'm competitive or anything, but how many calories would ya like to try and not eat tomorrow? ... ... bitch!

If she had dropped a gear, spun a little easier, she could have maintained the same amount of watts with less effort.

Hills and wind have a push-back factor that is hard to resist enjoying.

In the beginning it looks like she was applying too much torque (trying too hard) causing an inefficiency that resulted in a less than optimal speed.

Smooth move.

Am I even close?

It is a concept I have tried to explain to a bunch of people who just look at me like I'm out of my mind.

Actually, Mary started her interval just as we were moving onto the bridge out of Fort De Soto park, because I was afraid she wouldn't have enough room for 8 minutes if she waited till afterwards.

Since we were going into a strong headwind, I knew she would be able to hold her watts on the downhill with no problem.

On the bridge I knew she was over torqued and overworking, but when we got home, and I saw how perfectly the graph showed the problem, I asked her about it, and she said, "Oh, yeah. I knew I was working too hard on the bridge, but I was worried I wouldn't shift correctly, and my cadence was ok, so I just held it."

Interestingly, her cadence was ok, or it would have been even worse. She paid the price about 6 minutes later.

Here's how I have tried to simplify the idea: "torque" is what your legs feel, "watts" are what the road feels. It is really easy to misread that your "effort" is equaling your power results.

Now I've got a graph to show it. In the beginning she had lots of torque (effort) per the amount of power (watts=speed) that she was generating through her energy amplification transducer (bicycle).

The next time she tried a 200 watt long interval, her torque was evened out, and she did 12 minutes at the same power (speed) with much less effort.

Please explain to people that I am not making this shit up… it is just simple high-school mechanics.

The good part is how Mary's kinesthetic sense has improved so much that she felt the problem without having to look at her meter.

As an aside, speed is such a widely varying parameter (unless on a circular course starting and ending at the same place), her specific speed (in this case straight into the wind) was not even a consideration in her performance.

But you knew that already.

That's a graph drawn by Jim Cramer, and he's trying to convince us it means something and that he would know what it means, even if it actually did mean something, right?

Here. Try again. >>>

In any case, now you have enough experience to see what went wrong with this one of Mary's performances.

Nobody else could figure it out, but Mary knew she was doing it when it happened… she knew it, she just didn't fix it.

She fixed it for the next attempt a couple days later, and found where 8 minutes was really, really hard before, 12 minutes at the same intensity had become rather easy. >>>

If so, he read a bunch of last years stuff and ended by clicking over to the Palletman's rides calendar, which is currently empty.

As for a separate matter, the proximity in time to other known trouble makers of the most recent google search for "glenn babikian" probably was prompted by the statement below about self-googlers, and it was not Glenn himself, but one of those other trouble maker's friends living in or around San Jose, CA.

One of those self-googlers may have stepped a friend or coach through the book.

I'm so excited, I can barely sit still.

Somebody is finally going to understand this.

Yo, Lauren, you might want to sit down.

In fact, bring in Michele to hold your hand, because when you hear this you are going to faint… even if your coach explained it to you already.

Let's exaggerate your workout slightly to an even 200 watts, just to make the numbers simple.

A 200 watt effort is very close to a 21 mph pace—if you start and end at the same place, and go in a big circle, so you have the wind equally in your face and at your back.

The exact speed depends somewhat on how efficiently and balanced you ride in both feet, but I know you do your Egoscue, and I have seen you compulsively working on your balance, so you have to be in the ballpark of perfect.

So let's pretend you did your 200 watt hills on a course around your house, going out one way and back in from the opposite direction.

Of course, what I am about to tell you is not going to mean a thing to people without power meters, but you have already done a 161 watt 1.5 hours while you were testing equipment, and now you've done intervals enough to have a feeling for 200 watts, so I am sure you must also have a good idea what only 100 watts feels like.

Now, go get Michele, 'cause here we go.

Lets pretend you did those intervals by going uphill at 200 then coasting downhill to the next uphill.

That's maybe just slightly extreme, but it is well within the procedural range of how most people ride the Hump.

Now think about this.

If instead of going uphill at 200 then coasting downhill, you backed the uphills off to only 100 watts but carried the same 100 watts over the top and down to the bottom of the next uphill… you would end up with the very exact same 21 mph average!!!

This really ain't rocket science, but it is the way those people hit Mars with a rocket, which is similar in difficulty to using your rifle to shoot a bumblebee as it flies 100 yards away from your car window while you are driving at 60 mph.

In any case, the numbers we are using here are much simpler, and much more certain.

Those 200 watt hills with coasting would be easily matched by 100 watts at steady state.

Now, Michele, throw some water on Lauren, wake her up and assure her the universe is still in its place.

We don't have to worry about the other readers, because they don't have power meters, so they have no idea the vast difference between 100 and 200 watts… nor have they heard that Widder did a 202 watt 12 minute interval today, just to prove to herself that she's back in at least the same shape she was when we left here last year.

One or two people are pre-shopping on Mary's website each and every day or the other.

That is a significant improvement over ever before (economy schmonomy), plus I've been getting straight 200's.

Coming home with our spring mailing will not be for nothing.

If all you people don't slow down by the time we get back, the Widder will not be allowed to ride with you this year either.

If you are having trouble identifying them, we'll send our fried Tony Defeo over. He has a mountain bike and knows all about them.

Paris showed great courage in re-mounting his ride to finish.

Paris and ride seem to be fine.

Paris got taken down at the bell lap at Bethel.

He was riding very strong.

I was on his right, and someone right in front of him went down.

I kept going but hesitated for a bit to see if he had made it through.

He had not.

He did ride the Masters race after that.

He was extremely manly today.

I believe he is home applying vodka internally to his wounds.

      Danny

TURTLE BOY REPORT

Turtle Boy (Humberto Cavalheiro) and his team may have won their first major race in Portugal.

It was 80 kilometers in killer mountains, and Mr. Boy posted a 41 kph time.

Oops, I forgot you guys don't know metrics or watts.

It was 49.6 miles at 25.42 mph.

Humberto is not sure yet if they won, because he suffers from the same problem that we do. No results have been posted online.

By the way, they got second overall, not first, and when they started Humberto wanted to win, but after awhile, he just wanted to finish.

I flatted at the top of Ridgebury, then a few miles later a dog attacked and caused a pile-up.

Then we were totally harASSed by a town cop for the last ten miles, etc......

Poor cops. They're just doing what the local crackers demand they do.

The local crackers don't want you on your bike and on the road in any way whatsoever.

They don't want you there: in-line, out of line, beside the line, near the line, nowhere, no way, no how.

The fact that you have an absolute right to be there on a vehicle of equal legal status to their gas guzzling shit mobiles, is of no consequence to them.

They've all got hangovers and greasy snacks to buy, plus important cell phone conferences to tend to, and you are in their way.

We should put together a group of a thousand or so concerned cyclists to go out on Pulaski and Route 12 every Saturday morning and obey the laws of the land to the absolute letter with an unbroken single file line of several miles and a couple hours long unitl the locals get wise to the fact that a closely bunched small group of fast moving cyclists does get out of their way a lot quicker than what the legitimate obstruction the law would actually allow could do.

We'd better mention that the chart I sent everybody to previously (with the Race Category to Power to Weight specs) turned out to be totally wrong once I looked more closely at the numbers.

So to help out the authors of the book, I finally relented and posted the corrected numbers table on the Power to Weight Calculator page. >>>

He would have run over the top of Pedro and complained illegal greasy Mexicans were gunking up his tire treads.

HUMP REPORT

Somebody attacked on Ridgebury, and some people got dropped.

At one point there was a regrouping of some of the riders, then another attack or two, and a big sprint at the end.

You want me to set aside all my approved and proven training, put my qualification for the big races on hold, delay my own personal improvement, all that just to knock Widder down a peg on your smarmy little leader board?

Yesterday, somebody got here searching for watts info, landed on a Widder's Hump page, eventually made it to the Power to Weight calculator, used it, moved off-site to the Power to Speed calculator, came back a little later, checked out the home page, and found their way to the ChatterBox

Nobody who has gotten here looking for watts (or anything else for that matter) has ever found their way to the ChatterBox, so that person obviously exibited a keen interest in our doin's.

Anyway, the first thing they did in the ChatterBox was read NuCyclist's query, "Ok, so just exactly what is the correct training program?" and clicked on the extra link.

We haven't heard from them since.

Apparently, their interest was not so keen after all.

And for what? Just a little bit of money.

Looks like this year is starting out very hopeful…: )

I just got back from the Albany Concourse Tower Climb Race (the tallest building in Albany) where I won the overall women’s race.

It was 44 floors of exquisite searing chest pain at its best.

Still, it was a lot of fun, and even more so because I just missed out on the overall win last year by a mere 7 seconds.

It felt really good taking it this year.

Looks like we are both off to a very good season.

Keep going. I am relying on you meeting your Hump goal this year! ;).

~L

Apparently, Palletman is going to beat you on that one.

BTW: The only results I could find online for the race showed a link to a video, which of course was broken.

Is this you?

It's so exciting.

Her bigger problem may be that she has me to ride along with her!

23+ WIDDER'S HUMP: TEST DRIVE

Today I did a pre-test Time Trial for the 23+ Widder's Hump and posted a new personal best of 275 watts for...

STOP THE PRESSSES: THIS JUST IN

You may recall that last year before we broke her down to basics, she could hold 200 watts for 12 minutes on command, so after last week's surgery she has been slowly building back—first with a 6 minute interval, and then one for 8 minutes today.

I glanced at her graph, and hit the roof, when I realized it was the absolute perfect example of one of the basic concepts I have been racking my brain trying to figure out how to explain to people.

I called Widder over to the computer and said, "Look at that! Do you see the problem? It should be obvious."

Well, she guessed three other things before I pointed it out.

It is a central core concept for the book and might even become the focus of the first chapter.

As of 03/07/09 9:30 am, the following people have looked at it:

Toto, Splash, Lauren Warren, UV160, KH, Palletman, and Dangerous Dan

Showing up but not looking (therefore appearing to be one of the above from a different IP#) are:

UV159, UV166, Todd? (2x), Ryan

Can you identiify the problem revealed by this graph? >>>

Guess it goes along with SlingShot's newly recognized status as the world's leading authority on power meter training and efficient watts.

If anybody gets an error when trying to put something in, let us know, and we'll try to accommodate.

While she was away, she probably missed the whole episode with Turtle Boy knocking Widder off the top of the leader board and then reporting how unexpectedly hard it was to do.

Remember he e-mailed this to Widder afterwards:

Ok, so first let me tell you that I fucking hate you…

3 miles

    25.3 avg mph
    27.3 peak mph
    345  avg watts
    468  peak watts

I am fucking dead. Needed longer warm up.

Notice how he still put mph first. He had not yet caught on that the true measure is simply: 1) How much time, at 2) How much Power to Weight Ratio.

T @ P/W

In any case, he sure found out why people have a hard time shaking Widder on one of those long climbs of just that perfect slope we call a Goldilocks Hill:

not too steep, not too flat, just right… and long.

For all those without power meters (who have not had a chance to test for themselves just what Widder is capable of), I put together this quick visual aid. >>>

Methinks the Hump is going to be very interesting this year ;).

Missed you all while we were away... big hugs and watt kisses to everyone :).

We've had a bunch of people land on the Lauren Warren Creds page searching variations on: Lauren Warren.

One search came on an IP# originating from Florida, so I thought it might be you.

Today, somebody got here using a google search for: lauren warren bacteria.

I sure hope that's not lurking in them big watt kisses.

That wouldn't bother us, as I had taken steps to make sure none were there.

But somebody assumed it was ok to pretend to be an Endico, and they had populated Google Images with photos that people might assume were Mary's.

Their work is not bad, just not Widder's.

Plus there was a photo which people might mistake for Mary, and what if a collector did a search and went in the wrong direction?

I know how to do stuff, so I did something. >>>

The IP# sourced from Princeton University, so I don't see how that impacts my statement about out country high-schooling.

In fact, I'd say it supports my thesis.

We don't need no stinking physics!

We've got chemistry.

During this Lenten season it brings back the story of Thomas who himself did not believe that Jesus had risen from the dead.

When confronted by his Savior he was given a lesson on faith.

I think this is something like what you are experiencing with your disciples.

Outside the U.S. there are actual high-schools that teach this stuff.

Another blog has linked to the calculator.

HUMP REPORT

Turtle Boy broke from the group and got so far away that he is now in Portugal.

I decided to shoot up William Lain Rd.

As soon as I got to the top of that little hill, I was very pleased to look down and see that I was still big ringing it!

My joy soon turned to horror as that enormous grey dog started chasing me again. Remembering that you guys are friends with the dog's owner, and have the dog trained to bite the calf off of any bike rider besides the two of you, I quickly yelled "It's me… SlingShot, we're cool."

At that, the dog wagged his tail and walked away. I then went to check on the German Shorthairs on Schefflers Rd.

The hill was still there, the dogs weren't.

However, I did 40 miles in the 78° sun yesterday, so you may have a twinge of envy yourself.

FYI:  IDENTITY THEFT ALERT

Couple of my teammates, who are race ready, recently registered and reported they had unauthorized charges on their credit cards in the last couple of days.

Thought someone could use the heads up.

As for me registering for races: that won't happen for awhile as I am still trying to climb out of the deconditioning black hole.

POSTS ABOVE THIS
WILL BE TOGGLED OFF
TILL TOMORROW

You keep posting stuff like this, and people are going to start thinking this is a place to get information.

If the other trend continues (Palletman also reports he has taken six weeks off), I might actually finish with a ride someday.

My little chart on my stem showed 262 for 10 min, so a 300+ watt 10 min would be a nice figure, and I could check how my HR reacts to a longer hard interval, plus confirm if that many watts is close to a 25 mph average.

My flight check looked pretty good, about 7.5 on the knee, and I tried a few 300+ pop-watts during the warmup just to make sure it wasn't stupid to try.

Unfortunately, at 1:50 into the interval, I realized my hip and knee were already gone, and my left hamstring was already burning.

That went along with my watts already having dropped to 290, and I knew they weren't coming back, so I bailed on the 10 minute attempt.

However, my HR was still low and had never popped over 147, so after a two minute rest at 175 watts, I started thinking about trying something else.

My overall average had only dropped to 230 watts, so I figured I might try to hold that for the remainder of the 10 min and check my HR.

I went into the North Beach turn-around at 230, but came out of it at 220, so I started pushing a little to get it back up just as we saw another rider coming into the turn.

By the time I was finished making sure he wasn't going to catch us, I was near 15 minutes at 234, so says I, "Maybe 235 at the 15," and pushed a little more.

At the 15 mark I could see the West Beach turn-around way up in the distance, and my HR was still only 142 aveage (I wasn't looking at it, but I knew), so why not a 235 to the second circle?

After the circle I was… well, one thing led to another, so after confirming Mr. Chasing Us on the Course was now so far off the pace we were unlikely to see him again, I noticed my 30 min PB was only 234, so maybe I could beat that by 2 if I just held on.

Of course, my knee, hip, ham, were so far gone by then they were no longer having the slightest effect on how I felt, so I ended the interval with a 238 watt, 148 HR, 21.24 mph average.

It wasn't a full circle, so a little more headwind than tailwind, and the 300+ section was 24.19 mph average with a 26.7 mph max.

HR for the 300+ section was 138 avg and 147 max.

If I ever get my left side working like my right side the long hard intervals will be easy.

Well, maybe not easy, but easier… sort of like a one legged 30 minute.

If you consider that Andreas finished a Hump just under 23 mph and a 213 watt average, it sort of explains why nobody can get away from a drafting Widder.

You also might like to point out that 148 HR for you is just above "junk miles," which is to say too low to make you stronger, and too high to be an actual recovery ride. Pretty much just exactly where most riders waste most of their time.

She said, "When somebody offers you 500 million for your website, you are taking it!"

I said, "No way, I got a better idea. I will accept the money when somebody says, 'If you will but place my name upon the lips of your site, I will gladly give you $500 million', but I'll keep the website all to myself."

Replied the Widder, "But wouldn't that be like advertising?"

I said, "Oh, I have no problem at all being a sell out. I'm just not selling out cheap!"

The DOW is finally under 7100, and in November I bet the Widder it would be under 7000 by February.

Looks like I'm about to win my $10.00.

Here's what they got to enjoy. >>>

Yippee!!!

They ended up here. >>>

Here's where they landed. >>>

I gave another shot at the Powertap HR monitor, and it worked perfectly.

Maybe it was the combination of being more skilled with the unit, new sensor, using the electrode cream, not confusing average with current mode, doing a Find routine at the start to make sure the units were communicating.

In any case, not one single dropout for the whole 2hr 13min.

Did an easy 180 out and back on Gulf Boulevard, about 4.5 miles each way, to check watts per mph.

Speed was 19.57 mph with 182 watt going out at 131 bpm average.

Then 19.83 mph with 180 watt coming back at 130 bpm average.

Thank you, Matthew Spak.

This morning I was going through the ARC website usage logs and saw somebody with a Toronto IP# came looking for watt info, used the P/W calculator a dozen or so times, and read a bunch of the book.

Then somebody else hit the calculator directly from an IP# also from Toronto. Then another, and another.

I followed the referer link and found this. >>>

I have avoided publishing those numbers for a few months, because I was encouraging people to buy the book in order to get them, but since somebody already stole the graph and published it, here you go. >>>

You can still buy the book, however, because the sexist jerk-off who stole the graph didn't publish the womens' figures.

Widder doesn't mind. She uses the mens' numbers and kicks their asses anyway.

CAVEAT: After publishing the link at right, I reviewed the table numbers it provides and realized they are all wrong, so I went back to the book and edited the table in order to add the correct numbers to the Super Simple Power to Weight Calculator.

Widder is taking the day off after her triple header surgery of a D&C, a Resection of a fribroid, and a HydroThermal Ablation.

She goes back to normal activity tomorrow, which is none too soon as far as I'm concerned.

Have to tell you, though, they sure got a hell of a HR monitor over at the hospital.

The BPM number was tracking with each and every heartbeat, and would give out a special extra tone when under 50 for more than three beats.

Fortunately, the anesthesiologist came in and stood across the room facing another bed with his tight little runner's butt, and Widder's rate went up well over 50 and stayed there, so we didn't have to listen to the warning tone all morning.

I had a theory and ran it past Dangerous Dan.

I told him I had heard he kicks ass on the Computrainer, but things fall apart in the spring.

My thoughts were that he can watch his watts on the trainer, so he doesn't overwork, but outside he loses his frame of reference and works too hard when he shouldn't… that is to say on the uphills where you fucking little pigmy anorexics have too significant an advantage.

Today, I told Widder that it might also be because there is no actual coasting on a Computrainer. That means a constant effort of some sort is required all the time.

When you skinny-ass little thumbnails of real human beings get out on the road, you spend a lot of time coasting downhill and waiting for your big deal float up this or that hill—which you all like to think means you are strong not skinny.

When I had my consversation with Dangerous, he disagreed saying, "What?! As far as I know I suck on the Computrainer too."

I didn't bother to go over this with Paris, because it is obvious she is just fucking with people's wires indoors, but outdoors (in the real world) she has to take her licks or a shortcut.

In any case, she would just say, "It only counts when I say it counts, and it only counts when I happen to be in front on the three hills where I say it counts… the only three hills I ever have in me."

Otherwise, the Computrainer reveals performance truth which is sometimes hidden outdoors.

You will recall how hard it was to beat the Widder's performance when pure watts and power to weight are considered— which is really the only objective, no nonsense measurement of speed.

I mean just yesterday, after her 12 x 50 second x 300+ watt intervals workout, Mary pulled back to the parking lot for 50 minutes with only a 139 watt average but a 20.3 mph average while catching a young recumbant rider who ended up awfully sweaty and upset when he realized how really old the old woman was who just beat him… despite his aero advantage.

But generally, outdoors presents lots of variables that can hide true performance. Smart competitors always look for better guages of success than the speed they did on any given ride or race.

It is not surprising nobody but you has taken up the challenge of beating Widder on long interval power to weight watts indoors… too real…

Just like that day last summer when Mary broke from the group on the climb up 218 from Cornwall then waited for 3 minutes at the West Point gate for the closest man to catch her, and she did it with a severely fucked up piriformis.

You'd think some of those men would like to get Computrainer revenge, but really they can't, and it is probably better for their self esteem if they don't bother trying.

We've only left it up in hopes Palletman will finally get around to finding it and ruin his day.

In fact, Turtle Boy has a post in the queue before yours, which will be toggled on soon as Palletman finishes his lunch and checks in.

Is this the photo that caused Twin Lynn so much angst? >>>

That photo, she always liked a lot.

Here's the one that pissed her off. >>>

ddoT is dissing Widder's art work.

Widder is nude.

Twin is nude.

The Girl likes ddoT nude.

Slingshot is now Crankhead Ryan, and I missed my Computrainer appointment at the Portugreasian Restaurant.

You almost seem to understand what you are talking about.

For starters, it's Crackhead Ryan.

He finds crank to be too calorie laden, and it makes him burp.

Don't worry about missing the Computrainer appointment.

The group meets there every afternoon (without fail) from 12:30 to 4:45, then again from 5:00 to 9:35, depending on how long it takes to wipe away the Lynn's and restore the place settings on Turtle Boy's training table.

I can't believe you are publishing photos of yourself on the web.

One the other day, and now another one. I thought that was a no-no.

You're supposed to be like Oz, behind the curtain. We're not supposed to see you.

Please, I beg you, NO NUDES! The ones of the widder are tough enough.

I went online and found a geezer-cake photo for you.

BTW: Stop calling The Girl names.

I was just watching the Time Trial and Liggett went nuts when, according to their reported time, somebody was just about to lap Lance.

The co-announcer had to point out that the rider wasn't even to the top of the mountain, so not yet at the time check. Therefore, the GPS must be wrong.

Says Liggett, "Yeah, those GPS units are good... when they work."

Everybody smart enough to own a Powertap will probably not disagree, but all these gadgets are in their infancy.

I'm sure many of you would also like to do it, so here's how.

All you have to do is get me to do 15 x 40 sec 400+ intervals in a row. The three minute recoveries in between each is probably optional.

Of course, you might like to throw in at least one of those intervals being 476 average at 30 seconds by accident, before I notice and back off.

Also, you probably would like to make sure the Widder is nowhere around, because she has learned enough about what we are doing to be able to point out when I pass her that I have begun driving with my right leg only.

Well, maybe it wouldn't hurt your efforts much, because as soon as she mentions it, I might try harder with my left on the next interval and realize my back is on the verge and back off the whole series.

In that case, I will only end up with 12 intervals, and the last three will be averaging just under 400.

At that point I will begin limping home whimpering like Big Bianchi after Ridgebury.

Actually, I probably shouldn't be telling you guys how to beat me like this, but most of you never heard of a power meter, so the numbers won't mean anything to you anyway.

In fact, I am so confident of your inability to figure this out I can give you the mph stats.

At the end of even the worst of the intervals I was building over 25 mph into a rather stiff headwind, so how does that help you?

Not at all I'd wager, but I do know you were all waiting to find out how to beat me and had begun to believe it impossible.

Well, it's not. I did it myself today.

There's no way of knowing whether whatever rollers she's using would make that speed equal to the effort of coasting down Ridgebury backwards or charging up Kain Road hard.

She might be spinning a light 65 watts, or grinding a massively over-torqued slow cadence 800.

Without a frame of reference, I have no frame to reference.

I don't want to get caught up in the Liggett ligature of choking out nonsense apropos of nothing just to make sure there's no dead air time.

It's not even "the universe is warped and we can blow it up" kind of physics, just the cue ball is heavier so you can hit the left side of the three, and the three will go right into the eight which whoops into the pocket.

It's how:

   We made so many cars
         nobody can drive them
   We built so many houses
         everybody is homeless
   We grew so much food
         nobody is healthy
   Printed so much money
         nobody can spend it
   Wrote so many words
         they are finally a poem

Enjoy your Florida weather. The Weather in CA was cold: 37 low, high 55, rainy, and generally not a nice place to spend outside in a parking lot with 58 750s.

But hey, the food was great, and the room had a hair dryer to dry my shoes and jacket.

Big night tonight.

The first ever direct google straight to the book's website.

They searched for: potential for cycling performance, no quotes.

I know it's the centerpiece of your collection, and you are probably already drawing plans to add yet another wing to your museum to showcase THE BIKE… but, c'mon, Lance needs that bike more than you do.

Don't forget, he broke all the rules of medical ethics in order to forge Joe Straub a prescription for bedrest and AMGEN.

He likely needs that bike more than air to breathe.

Of course he'll never ride it but carry it around on his roof rack till it falls off, then sell it on E-bay as the bike Lance crashed on.

The Tour of California is on VS, and they are getting ready to pretend a breakaway is hard to catch!

Fuck me.

Also that you have missed all the big doin's on ARC.

I've just been waiting for somebody to ask about my winter training program.

I think I've got this watts, weight, and power stuff down.

It was hard to understand at first, but since I started tracking my progress by dividing my weight by my power, I've really started getting some big numbers.

Lucky you had that photo handy.

I'm sure our little Australian friend will enjoy it.

No worries everyone, put an equally gorgeous photo of a man that is in shape like this, and I will go ga, ga over that as well.

My school background is in Exercise Physiology, and I just love bodies, love to admire them and enjoy them all… period. ddoT, when do we get a photo like this of you?? I do promise to behave with my comments :).

On careful review of your posting, we see (as surely the rest of the world must also) that you are not in fact a Lesbian as you pretend, but actually an Australian.

Look out… big engines a rollin’ I LOVE THIS THING!!

E-mail letter of recommendation is out to Compu-school for you.

Pretty moon though. Thanks.

Which is the one of only two?

Also, please give us back the sun, or you will be forced to tow my fat ass around for the first three months of the season up here.

2) Yes, it is a pretty moon, but people might get the wrong idea.

3) Ok, maybe it's not a 1955 Double-D penny, but which would you assume is the mistake?

4) I would love to pull your fat ass around, but I'm having enough trouble with my own.

Doesn't Joe have one hooked up over at Straub's Gym?

I imagine they prefer "spin" classes where you can pretend to be doing anything you pretend you are doing.

Your question about the Computrainer has been a long standing wonder to me. One would think that every gym in the world would have one in some little used back room helping people use them.

We do know of a bike shop in NJ (just down from the Irish Maniacs factory) that has two of them set up and charge people per hour to use them.

The Maniacs used to go over there on their lunch hour and compete. When you first stepped into the bike shop, your first impression would be, "Man! I have never seen such a jam packed stock of bikes in one shop before."

Then you would be told that all those bikes hanging from the ceiling were not for sale but just people's bikes they left there to use on the Computrainers.

They had the sensors set up with velcro for easy hook-up.

Maybe the problem is that compared to nice road bikes, Powertaps are rather cheap. By the time you pay for services, you could buy one and do your own testing during every ride you go on.

There is a wired one on E-bay right now for $500 dollars.

We made sure to get the wireless, so we could swap out the wheel and share it, and I could monitor Mary's progress while pacing behind her.

We also thought we could let the curious use the wheel, but turns out nobody has a 10-speed, and those that do have no interest.

Turtle Boy is going to Portugal soon, so his seat at Compu-school (just a few guys who get together in Humberto's basement and treat it like the Hump, that is to say, "Haven't a clue what the watt readings mean,") might be looking for some fresh meat to chew up, so we'll check into that for you.

If they offer to charge you, shoot them in the head and say we said to.

As for the success of my own training, thank you for mentioning.

Yesterday, Mary took the day off, but I am such a fat fuck I had to go out, so I did 40 miles on the Pinellas trail.

I have yet to do a 2 hour with purpose, and my current P.B. is 161 watts, while I have been easily doing consistent back to back 180's for 1:30 to 1:45's and thought I'd try that.

Soon as I warmped up and started, I realized 160 felt harder than 180 had over the last few days, so I knew my hip, knee, or hydration was shot and decided to just go an easy 140.

Pretty soon I had readjusted to 130 as a better goal, until some guy had pushed the button and got the green light for me at an intersection, so I pushed hard to get around him, triggered him to come back, then got on his wheel for about an hour which brought me back up over 140.

When I got home I was shocked to find that I had a moment of 803 which didn't make any sense at all, so I thought there was a glitch in the software.

I couldn't remember ever working that hard behind the guy, and after he pulled off the trail, I started going easier again.

I looked at where it happened, tried to remember all the bridges, and knew it was near one of them, but… then I remembered the guy with the remote control toy race car who paced it before me then shot it off in front of me when he saw I was racing it.

I will chase anything, and them little cars is fucking fast.

Unfortunately, I was in the wrong gear and didn't make a 5 second P.B., but when I checked the bestest I've ever done (945), I did a P/W calculation and checked it on the chart.

If I could just beat my P.B. high watts (and do it for 5 seconds), I would raise in the standings to just slightly below "Untrained" for men… if I take off another 12 lbs.

Maybe we can hook you up with one of our Powertaps when we get back, or maybe now that the Stimulus Package is all passed and shit, it won't be long before people realize it hasn't helped a fucking thing, time to get real and do something, and somebody will open a Compu-school for a nominal fee.

I hope they do; because, quite frankly, I am getting a little bit tired of being the world's authority on power meter training.

We did 40 miles on the Suncoast Trail today, and on the way out I had decided I should go easy, but when Mary said this was the day she was bumping her intervals up to 300+, I decided I may as well go ahead and try 15 x 30sec at 400+ myself.

It went very well, and I did them all. They do start to hurt, but the intensity makes up for it.

Mary did 12 at 300+ and she had passed me before my turn around for my last. She likes to go harder between intervals.

Anyhoo, she was out of sight for most of the 20 mile return trip, but I decided to try a repeat of yesterday's 180 watt pace, but by the time I decided to try it my average was only about 65, so I was going to wait for an intersection and restart the timer.

However, by the time I got to an intersection I was involved in watching the watt average pop up a watt every few moments or so, so I thought, "Lets see if in the next 18 miles, I can bring it up to 180. All I have to do is remember yesterday's effort, start holding that, be patient and allow the numbers to click up.

It's a great exercise in patience.

Everything was going along nicely until about the 160 mark, then I started wondering if I could ever hit 180, because I had already overworked, and the time between tick ups was getting farther apart, but by then I was set on doing it, so I pushed on.

Happily, by the time I caught Mary (with six miles to go), I had gotten it up to 175, and she hooked on my wheel while I continued.

About a 1/2 mile before the last light intersection, she came up beside me and I was hard pressed to brush her off. I figured she thought the light was going to be it and was attacking to help me get my watts up.

In fact, what had happened was that she was doing the same sort of exercise on her own. She was starting low with a 60 average and trying to get it up to 140 in 10 minutes, and when she started around me it was merely to tack on her last 4 watts, so she succeeded with four builds.

I used to call these Bop-watts, but she came up with a better name: "Proud Mary's"… as in we start off slow and easy, and then the big wheels keep on burnin'.

But like Tina Turner said, "We don't do nothin' slow and easy.

By the time we got through the light I had dropped to 177 with 4 miles to get them back. Pretty tough, but I ended with 181 for a 57:59 effort starting at 62 for the first couple minutes.

I know most of that is meaningless to people who don't have power meters, but in mph that was 19.8 including intersections and 15 hard watt intervals as a warmup.

The 400+ watts are contextualized by the fact that I was over 27 mph by the end of each, after I got situated with regard to efficiency, but pace was still rising at that point, so if I was doing longer intervals I would have been closer to 30 mph (into a brisk headwind) by the end.

In fact about 465 would basically match the world record for 1-hour, and when I caught myself with that average 20 seconds into one I backed off and let the final drop down to 438… pretty easy to let the watts drop like that.

Back in the parking lot, Mary commented, "Jeez. We sure saw a lot of Amazon women on the trail today. Did you notice each one looked stronger than the one before?"

Yes, I had. In fact each one got so much stronger and nastier looking that at the very last, the final one looked exactly like Twin Lynn.… down the the pink jersey.

I said so, and Mary agreed.

We set it up with Turtle Boy for you to bring your bicycle over to Compu-school to check out your watts.

We have assured it will be a freebie, so that you will be able to give us a report such as, "230 watts feels like leg pressing this many pounds."

Remember this chart? >>>

Thus I could take the opportunity of a rest day to check 180 watts versus a 20 mph average speed.

I couldn't quite hold myself back at the end, so I ended with 182 for just over 1-hour, and I gave myself a 6 for efficiency.

My average speed was 19.7 mph, and I never got in my drops once, so the chart is confirmed as rational.

I also found that I can now sense doom just before the power meter bumps up one watt, and while my heart rate hasn't even come close to budging up by one bpm.

I never got over 144 bpm, very low Zone 3.

When we got back the AMGEN race was on, and I am still mystified that those people continue to talk about heart rate, speed, and time, while totally ignoring the fact an objective, observable, reliable, repeatable, portable, absolute measurement of performance exists.

What dufuses.

No wonder that stone age Carmichael Training System can get away with telling people they should have a different watt for climbing than they use for pacing.

What double dufuses.

Oh, yeah… and Widder was glued to my wheel the whole 182 watt hour with her own average 106 watts.

There is more truth and reality in Pro Wrestling than amongst the cartoon heroes of Pro Cycling.

I was surprised that his position on the bike wasn't even close to the position he used in the 06' tour de France. He looked very uncomfortable.

Levi looked determined though! He was shaking visibly and shouting on the way out of the start house.

It was great to see cycling on TV again. I can't wait for the rest of the drama to unfold. This is a hugely talented field racing here in the USA.

I hope you are all watching!

About the only thing you could see from the coverage was that Levi was so dopped up, he probably didn't know his own name.

That he just missed moving to first place wasn't what shocked me, but that he had to look back over his shoulder to see his time, then almost fell off his bicycle when he realized how close he was.

I've been following all the Watt stuff on the ARC pages, and have caught onto the subtext about the recent rush of people arriving here via searches for such information, so it was surprising to see the Pros aren't really taking advantage of the technology.

Shouldn't George have been able to do a quick calculation at the beginning of his time trial, know exactly, precisely, certainly what number of Watts he would need to hold to take first, and then pay attention to that number throughout his ride, and when he hit the finish line know beyond certainty just exactly what he had done?

Just before the race began, I was myself on the Pinellas Trail posting an unbelievable personal best by watching my power meter, and disregarding speed.

I was even myself shocked at how easy it was to beat my old performances on the trail.

Not to mention how much easier it was to hold a uniform Watt performance (which varied no more than 4 Watts overall as my meter reported) than to try and hold an average mph while every intersection trimed off a tenth or two, and how easy it was to read what would be coming up and prepare by raising my average a couple watts, etc.

What shocked me about the race coverage was that the broadcasts still aren't displaying a running Watt totals along with the time.

Maybe the last thing anybody wants is the real truth of a race, but the number of hits we've been getting from people looking for that information implies this stuff will be part of normal broadcast sooner or later.

I've heard rumors of online tracking of such stuff, so maybe somebody will look it up for us and report.

As for me, I'm going to go lay down now and watch the ceiling while I decide on today's workouts and review all the stuff I pointed out to Widder about form breaks and obvious dysfunction amoungst the race riders.

Most obvious was the stuff related to "Bobbles ain't baubles" which is so far published only in the Glossary to the book.

What page are you talking about that's been drawing so much attention?

In fact, today somebody in Europe hit it from 5 separate google searches, and people have started arriving from facebook.

You know it's one thing to be smart about how search engines work, and quite another to get actual human beings referring that page.

Things are really heating up.

She had those eight kids (with six already) with the aid of lots of people using significant amounts of specialized equipment.

If it had been me who assisted her in those conceptions, using the meager equipment at my disposal (although I am quite adept in its use), I would be deemed the father and subject to child support.

If everybody who helped her were held accountable for their actions and charged accordingly, we would never hear of such a thing again.

Plus, I heard her speak, and she is definitely a psychotic who in no way could be said to have given consent.

Therefore, everybody involved should also be convicted of gang rape and have that added to their resume.

<<< On the left is a review photo, which I believe cannot be run too many times.

On the right is the photo Widder took of her own puppy not 5 minutes after the other one was published. >>>

I'd trade my Computrainer for a puppy like that.

I can't figure out which puppy is cuter.

If you are an American, you are getting more vitamins than you could ever need just in the three helpings of nonsense you have with whatever shit you are eating for breakfast.

Vitamin supplements can't really hurt (if you don't overdose), but they aren't going to have much impact on your performance.

If they really worked, they'd be called drugs, and they would be illegal.

On the other hand, if your doctor diagnosis you with scurvy, take some viatamin C.

Eating rats won't help.

Close but no seegarr.

As for average speed, it was 24.48 mph with a 27.75 max.

Then the 4/10 section on the Clearwater bridge brought my average watts up to 223 and my average speed down to 23.68.

Not a bad 5 mile 12 minute warmup.

Nothing's happening today, so why don't you run it now?

Things are heating up as people catch on to this watts thing.

You can take off all kinds of weight and still be a fat ass.

Have your cake and eat it to.

Toto was here and didn't.

Some people from Europe googled watts, power meters, etc and found their way here, so SlingShot spiffed up the book a little.

Of course Cranky showed up.

I brought my rests down from 3 to 2 minutes, and I'm still getting through them pretty easy.

My back had a minor setback a few days ago, but if it holds up I'm going to start doing 360+ intervals.

I tried one as the 15th yesterday and had a 425 watt with 24.31 mph average at 40 seconds, then misread the timer, caught myself, and ended up with only 389 and 23.7 mph at the end with a 600 max.

If you lose your concentration for a even second on this stuff, you've got trouble.

When I turned for the return trip, Mary wasn't very far behind and was almost done with her 2 minute (3 minute rest) 220+ (just under) 22 mph intervals.

An apparent over-stretching of her hamstring slowed her down a bit, then trail traffic (first a kid, then two people hammering a turn coming at us) caused her to lose first 5 watts, then another 10.

By then, she knew the pain in her hamstring was not going to allow her to make up the watts, so she bailed at 3 minutes with 240 watts and 22.11 mph average.

I knew right away it was unlikely she would get her 266, because she was stomping like a man with a lot of movement through the hips, so very inefficient, and I was having no trouble at all staying with her.

I told her, "See? Not so easily done. Humberto had a hard time beating you, and you couldn't even beat yourself."

At this level of performance everything about you has to be right, and you have to focus, and your spin has to be precise.

Too bad about the trail traffic, but I'm sure Turtle Boy is going to be glad to hear he doesn't have to go through another TT like that again... for awhile.

Then somebody showed up looking for: PETER COTSIS.

DANGEROUS DAN MOVES UP
ON LEADER BOARD

That has moved his P/W ratio from 3.26 to 3.35, so from mid Cat4 to hi Cat4.

That also moves him from below Paris to above her in the rankings.

Said Dan, "I always knew I was kicking that loser's ass. Pass me that bhong."

How has your own training been affected?

Solid Cat2 for Humberto this time of year makes more sense.

We'll leave the 7 minute ride time for now, because the 345 was all he submitted.

I assume that what happened was he took the 23+ in Widder's Hump literally, and focused on maintaining that speed.

He also took my suggestion of a 3 mile loop at face value but didn't choose a flat course, just whatever was available on the Computrainer.

A 3 mile loop on the Computrainer would likely be a very steep course, probably ending at a much higher elevation than the start with no true downhill.

He turned in his speed average of 25.3 mph, and I calculated the ride time of the 3 miles from that.

His watts were the measured value at the end of 3 miles, but on the flat those 345 watts would have been more like a 28+ mph average, and his 3 mile ride time much shorter.

That pretty much explains why he was bitching so much about how much harder it was than he expected.

However, it still points out how hard it is to beat the Widder's power to weight ratio over 5 minutes.

Just imagine what riders of less talent than Humberto (and a little heavier than his winter weight of 157 lbs) have to deal with riding with her... when she's on her game.

LEADER BOARD UPSET

In a grudge match effort, Turtle Boy today held 345 watts for 7 minutes and 6 seconds to knock both Widder and SlingShot off the two top spots of the Widder's Hump leader board.

Said Humberto of his performance, "Take that, shitheads. Hope you like the looks of your little Power to Weight chart now!"

Mr. Cavalheiro thus confirms the order Testudines is aptly named.

As far as I know, they have never even raced as a team, just shown up dressed alike while everybody rides their own race attacking and grand standing at will… even against their very own teammates.

Basically, it's a fashion statement, not a team by any rational stretch of the imagination.

Juan is not likely to stay with them very long.

As far as I can tell, the only thing they've got going for them (now that most of the talent has bailed) is a kit and a Turtle Boy who is on loan from Portugal.

That guy tore up the roads, winning countless top ten places last year in his comeback…

What I don't understand is his insistence on wearing those silly-ass 4 letters on the black and white kit, for which he gets no credit, no respek, no nothing…

Meanwhile, I've been trying to recruit him to a better club, but the po boy says wait and see… see what????

Everybody's got to start their comeback somewhere, so a pretend local team is as good a place as any, but I do believe he is waiting to see this:

I'm settin' up a 3 mile flat course and kickin' you guys' asses.

I doubt those fellows (or anybody else watching) are going to let a 55 year old WOMAN (and her fat fuck husband) stay above them in the rankings long.

Too simple.

Explain.

She has gotten too smart.

The other less ironic part is that with all my work so far (absolutely destroying all her power records), I have not yet matched her P/W.

Even my 01/10/09 21.42 mph 46 minute loop in Fort De Soto Park which averaged 225 watts (which is a raw watt figure Mary only dreams of) still did not come close to matching her FT P/W ratio.

What all that means is this: On the flats down her in Florida, Mary has not heard me even breathing hard for the last few years, but she drops me on every slightly longish climb once we get back to NY.

The obvious truth here is that mph means nothing, while watts mean little, or at least a lot more little than P/W.

That's why ARC has begun this. >>>

Come on. SIMPLIFY IT!

T @ P/W

Said he floated through the air fully conscious but totally blind for some time before he finally came to rest.

Rizzo?

Google?

I won!!! I won!!!

I won a trip to Florida from the 21st to the 1st!! ARC was right, "You have to be in it to win it!!" Woohoo, I get some warm weather for 10 days!!

The current post is already at 201.

In any case, the only way to be a winner (and of nothing) is… >>>

If you are interested, the Shawangunk runners meet every Friday at SUNY New Paltz and do indoor track workouts.

I can get you more information if you like, let me know.

Peace out,
~The girl

I do have a speedometer and heart rate monitor.

Since you promised to simplify this shit, please get to it.

Due to the effects of wind, enertia, and slope, speed really tells us almost nothing about performance except in very specific instances.

My chase for the recumbant was just under 12 minutes at 261 watts.

You may recall that I recently did 225 watts for a 46 minute loop in Fort De Soto Park with an average speed of 21.42, so you would expect this 12min x 261 watts would result in a significantly higher average speed, but it did not.

That is because this recumbant chase was on the back stretch of an out and back where the tailwind followed us out.

Therefore, coming back, my pulling into the wind only resulted in a 20.5 mph average.

Going out we had just under an 18 mph average for the warmup with a 116 watt average. Mary had 113, and she was pulling.

On the other hand one time last summer (06/28/08) on the final stretch of the Hump (from the Jolly Onion to the top of Hard Core Hill) Mary pulled for a 19.55 mph average with only 65 (that's right: 65) watts average.

And all last summer she was often near 22 mph over the same section with only 165-170 watts.

Therefore, speed doesn't mean much to us.

Only measured watts reveals the true performance.

Perceived effort also tells us little, because with just a slight over reaching for a very short interval, a relatively low level power can feel like a massive effort.

In the case of this chase, I overworked when the guy used the bridge downhill to pass me hard.

I jumped by instinct, and peaked at 642 watts, holding 452 watts for the first 20 seconds of the chase before catching myself and settling in for the long haul.

Given I had just finished a couple rather hard intervals on the bridge, I paid for that little indescretion during the entire chase, fighting myself to calm down and hold my screaming left knee on track while patiently waiting for the recumbant to drift back to me.

In fact, despite having just written something about the importance of understanding the difference between torque and power (and keeping a high cadence), I constantly found myself falling into the trap of over torquing while under spinning… because it just felt right.

It got so bad that three times I got to within 200 yards of the guy and fell into my drops only to say to myself, "Shit, now the guy's giving up?! I'm going to run up his ass," before it dawned on me that getting in the drops gave me 1 to 2 mph faster pace.

Lots of rookie errors on that chase, but I caught him.

My heart rate never got over 146 even with my 642/452 burst at the start which got me up over 24 mph for a stupid while.

I am only allowing myself sub 150 HR until my hip/knee/back are better, but 163 is closer to my FT.

So there you have it: a 12 minute effort at 20.42 mph, but that doesn't mean nearly as much as knowing that it was more specifically a 12 minute interval at a 261 watt average—where I would grade myself 7.5 for efficiency.

But I'm sure this simplified mph format has made more sense to you.

You are welcome, and here's a picture of my 20 second indescretion. >>>

Why has there been so little about you guys training this year?

Last year every Widder's whimper got published.

In fact I was all set to do a year-in-review, bring the 23+ Widder's Hump up to date, and start recording again (she's been doing good with her all day floor exercises), when she made me look at an article from the local NY paper.

She should have known better, because she is specifically charged with NOT bothering me with such nonsense, but she seems to have no true concern for her own progress, and what I read got me so upset, I put everything on hold and spent a month avoiding writing this. >>>

He doesn't have a power meter, so he doesn't realize how easy those watts are, nor how far under my standard effort my current workouts are.

Also, don't worry about the trivial, just see what you can do to beat it.

Last I saw ddoT he was going off with people from the front of the front group getting ready to do some big ass climb in Sussex, so he can probaby beat it himself.

In any case, nobody needs to beat Floyd in the race. They can just wait and beat him in the drug test afterwards.

Just think what could have happened.

Not to mention, if people find out about ARC it won't be our own little secret anymore.

Do you really think that is air you are breathing?

There is a box below the main ChatterBox entry field labeled "USER'S Link" where you can copy/paste URL's like the one ddoT included in his post.

I copied it over for him just like I did for Lauren a few posts ago, but this time I left the original in the post, so everybody can see how much better it is to put it in the link box.

That way people only need to click on it, and aren't required to grab it and put it in their browser by hand.

Also, long strings of unbroken text, such as comprise many URL's, will throw the lovely formatting of this page all the fuck out of whack, which was noted when Twin Lynn did it the first time so many years ago, and I made the special URL boxes to handle it.

Be careful what you put in there. You could really fuck up somebody's computer… like mine.

Not to mention, why would anybody want to click off the best fucking website on the Internet once they get here?

As for myself, I have no interest at all in anybody elses performance other than my own, nor do I understand why anybody else gives a hoot about anybody elses numbers either… though 364 watts for the last two hours was pretty impressive, almost better than Zirra!

To become a symbiotic protoplasmic slug living my life imprisoned within a host metal and plastic toxic coffin on wheels and calling it sport while my government forces me to pay for the privilege.

Whoops, sorry. I got confused with the morning commute.

Have fun.

I can't wait!

Levi, Lance, and better yet Floyd is back! Go Floyd go!

I know it's a lie, but I like it.

What's that all about?

I always like to stop just to make sure, so I passed it, pulled around and went back.

Man!!! There it was. Just moseyin' across the road.

It was BEAUTIFUL. Too bad for it, because I now understand why people like to make belts out of them. Prettier than beads.

Anyway I couldn't help being stunned by its presence, and I was thinking, "That little guy could kill me dead… without thought just by spitting at me."

The only way to describe it is: In the Presence of Greatness.

But the little guy was in a precarious position going across a blind curve, not 200 feet from where I saw one squashed by a car a couple years ago.

So I threw a body block on the cars and sort of made enough of my presence known to Mr. Rattler, so's he might like to hurry up, but not so much of a presence he might get cranky.

It took a long time for him to cross, and the drivers were just about to kill us dead as dead could be, but that gave me lots of time to learn some stuff about Mary.

I never knew it before, but Mary knows just about everything there is to know when it comes to handling rattlesnakes, and she can thoroughly instruct you in proper procedure from a pretty good distance.

After yesterday's intervals it was time for an easy recovery day, and tomorrow is a rain day, so we went up Gulf Boulevard to the Clearwater bridge.

During flight check I realized my knee was extra sore, in fact I screamed at one point.

I decided low, low watts would be the order of the day, and I let Mary pull with the tailwind to the bridge.

On the way home, I was going to pull 200 into the headwind as far as possible (since everything was already pretty much falling apart), and Mary would continue easy in behind me.

As we were coming out of Sand Key Park for the return trip, some guy on a recumbant coming off the bridge downhill passed us going about 35 mph — just as I clicked my interval and started looking at my watt average.

I did a quick calculation.

Yesterday was rather hard (15 x 300+ intervals, etc), and today I had already stressed my knee standing at the computer.

My flight check was bad, and it was cold, so I had on three layers and my vest is all puffy and slow.

Also, I had already done a hard interval up the bridge and a 688 max on the return just for kicks.

Added to that is the significant advantage a recumbant has cutting through air, especially into the wind, and he had a running head start off the bridge downhill. Impossible.

Sounded like just the thing for me.

I took off and scrapped my watt ceiling, actually scraped myself off it.

At about 5 minutes I realized I was close to beating the Widder's best five, then next time I looked it was nearly 7 minutes, the time of brownouts, so I thought, "I have to keep chasing at least until 8 minutes."

At the eight minute mark, I was just about to get on his wheel when somebody pulled off the sidewalk, and he had to look back for cars in order to get around them.

He saw me and took off again.

Fuck that.

I'm catching the motherfucker.

Then I realized that 10 minutes (and a possible record) wasn't that far away, so when I caught him at just under 12 minutes the only thing left in my head was, "This time I'm passing that asshole," and I did… (thinking, "You pass me like that, you'd better be sure you can make it stick)… then I let him go and waited for Widder.

So when Widder caught up, I said, "Did you see what I just did?"

"Yes."

"That is just exactly and precisely what you never want to do."

She probably won't listen.

I've said it before, but I should probably say it again, "I have seen the Training Peaks Software, downloaded it, used it, and decided it is way over done, and it is not nearly as useful and intuitive as the software that comes with the Powertap."

If I was teaching large groups of people who I did not want to spend quality time with giving specialized and customized help, I could see where it would make a great smoke screen to blind them with science and keep them away from me, but I have no interest in ever doing that… ever.

There's going to be a whole chapter on this sort of stuff in the book, but I'm not finished editing it.

The Widder has given me too many winter projects.

But be extra careful with this sort of thing. Posting random external links is a recipe for disaster.

This one almost crashed my computer.

It must be that notion that one man's poison is another man's speed mojo.

I wonder if the same penalties applied to performance enhancing drugs are applied to performance degrading drugs?

Far as we can tell, that part of the system is a real piece of shit.

Neither Mary nor I have ever got it going reliably.

We just defaulted back to our Polars, and got on with our rides.

I tried a maximum watt burst and am slightly disappointed.

Got any secrets.

Most people think it is about raw torque, but it is not, and those people are pretty easy to beat.

Next time stay seated (but not in your drops or aero bars if you have them), get your spin rate up over 85 rpm, and burst your cadence hard over 115.

Gear selection is always the hard part. Too easy and you spin out, too hard and you lug out.

Give yourself about 7 seconds for the full process.

Don't tell anybody about this, because it is a top fucking secret technique.

That's all you got for the Super Bowl?

I'd say around noon today.

In the meantime we are back here North training in our dank, cold, little dungeon gyms.

There's gonna' be trouble, that is it you little sand bully I am throwing down the gauntlet!

Schmoopie says she is going to come to Floriduh and put tacks on your bicylce seat!

Last but not least I am so opposed to cruelty to animals!

2) Like I care. Besides, what doesn't kill you, leaves you one day closer to it.

3) It's about time somebody caused some trouble around here.

4) I hadn't thought of that, but I'll give it a try… anything for a few more watts.

5) Groundhogs, rattlesnakes, or SlingShots?

Her intervals were first published as 170+, but the actual number was 270+.

My bad.

[understatement unedited at editor's request]

Ya know, I don't remember posting the message before this one… oh no, not again… I've been sleep posting!!

It's epidemic.

Today on the Suncoast trail I met my goal of 15 x 300+ watt 1-minute intervals with three minute rests (up from 12 and down from 4 minutes from a several days ago), followed by two 10 min 150 builds from 0, and then a 12 minute 206 watt pace interval until I caught the Widder with only 6 miles to go.

Her goal was 8 x 270+ watt 1-minute intervals with 5 minute rests which would be 2 more intervals from several days ago, before she had a meltdown and bailed in Fort De Soto park a few days ago.

She felt so good after the 8, she went on for 12 total… and that was after a major personal best pushup fest this morning.

She would have done even better if the sun hadn't slipped down enough to give her a major chill.

Today we did 252 Watts for 40 miles and kicked fucking ass!

You didn't answer the question.

Can't you find anything else to write about?

You're down there in Tampa.

Don't they have some Super Bowl or something going on?

Why don't you write about that?

I hope you are enjoying yourself down there in land of the pink plastic flamingo, but I got to say, all your ramblings-on about watts are starting to bore me.

Can't you find something else to write about? I mean, maybe around April 1 I'll have some sort of interest in your personal wattage, but right now, this is the only science going on around here:

BOTH THE 12Z GFS AND NAM PRODUCE A BAND OF SNOW DISPLACED WELL NORTH AND WEST OF THE LOW TRACK AS A FRONTAL BOUNDARY STALLS ACROSS THE AREA ON MON. FULL LATITUDE TROF DEVELOPS ON MON WITH OVERRUNNING SNOWS EXPANDING NE AND INTO THE AREA BY EVE. FOR THE TIME…WILL RESERVE POPS TO THE LIKELY CATEGORY (POP 60)…FROM MON NIGHT INTO TUE. PCPN INITIALLY STARTS OFF AS RAIN…THEN TRANSITIONS OVER TO SNOW FROM NW TO SE OVERNIGHT.

That fuckin groundhog better not see his shadow next weekend.

Look at the 57,500 returns for this. >>>

A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT.

Google has just gone to shit.

Widder noticed that every return to every search is now labeled "This site may harm your computer."

We did a quick check and clicking on the notice only brings you to an offer for google services.

The paid-for Google ads do not include this notification, so what do you think that means?

No more photos of people standing in front of tanks, exhorbitant and unsubstantiated fees for everything, and no more rational search engine returns.

I may as well take the B12 Kool-aid.

In another month I won't even be able to explain to people what a true "search engine" was.

Next thing you know, your government is going to make you pay for pieces of shit cars you refused to buy!!!

I was asked to draw Mary away to someplace cold and desolate, and away from power meters and compu trainers.

I thought if I could squeeze a painting out of it for myself, then why not?!

Doesn't matter, because I did a web search and found plenty of confirmation that I am correct.

My usual dozen D vitamins with my morning coffee is just the thing.

You know, those guys over at EPO have made this industry what it is today.

Lucky charms are for race day only, the little marshmallows give me a little extra kick.

I wonder how my painting is coming along. I hope Mary got into Nepal without any problems.

I guess she could have just gone through Tibet and driven right to base camp, but that wouldn't tire her out quite as much as trekking in from Nepal, and the painting would suffer from lack of true emotion.

Mary has sold nearly 20,000 original watercolors done by her own hand.

Only artist "wanan-be's" think that sort of thing is done with "emotion." All the real artists we know (defined as "those who actually love to paint") do it with cold, precise, calculation.

Which is just how Mary is going to tear you limb from limb for asking her to paint to order.

I've recently been researching vitamins.

At a minimum ddoT, a man should take a men's intended vitamin, and a woman a women's.

You can see the difference in ingredients for yourself, but the most obvious difference is women need more iron.

I've been trying to find a quality (no crap added) inexpensive vitamin.

Those 2 things don't go together. I've found a temporary solution which I shared with Widder but am still looking for a long term solution.

Some family members are taking Isogenix which is really structured quite well for nutrition.

However, in my opinion, you don't need to spend that much money to eat healthily if you know how to.

Therefore, back to an inexpensive quality vitamin.

Isagenix has tons of B12 - to Lauren's point.

However, that still stumps me. We can only absorb so much.

Therefore one would think 100% or even 200% of the daily requirement would suffice?

You got Cranky going.

Will you get off my back about the pizza already!

Look at this google search (no quotes)! >>>

Turtle Boy is going back to Portugal for more super training... all of this just to kick Andréa's ass.

Also somebody googled Jim Amels. Then somebody else (an obvious newbie) googled "watts per hour cycling" which of course places ARC as the top return.

That is why I will be on my bike later no matter "watt."

Besides, the worse you can manage to do on your first attempt, the more improvement you'll be able to show afterwards.

1) Get on your trainer.
2) Stomp real hard.
3) Look at the yellow thingy.
4) Click left button till arrow at top#.
5) Click right button till says "Max."

If you are waiting for somebody else to do that for you, you have already lost the race.

What's your max watts?

What's your idea?

She could sell it to all her E-friends… if the Chinese will give them some money.

If the idea is really, really, really good, the implementation will be the hard part.

The idea is the easy part, and I have about 37,000 ideas of my own which I would tell you about, but nobody is really interested.

Therefore, there is really no need to keep it a secret, because nobody is going to go to all the trouble it would take to rip off the idea even if they listened to you.

In any case, there really is no effective legal way to protect 'ideas'… only the implementation somewhat.

So that means you may as well spill the beans in the ChatterBox.

Just tell the world what your idea is here.

Besides, after you go through all the trouble to design, trouble shoot, redisign and finally bring it to market, the Chinese are just going to rip it off and sell it cheap at Walmart.

They already own everything in America anyway, along with any ideas you might think you have.

I guess I'm not as hardcore as I thought.

I will crawl back into my hole now.

So, I am expecting some better results. Start taking your B12 now…

   zoom-zoom (my real nick-nom')

The old, "takin' my B12 injections (wink, wink)," ploy.

I am off to do a TT tonight for powermeter numbers for training, AND I got my powermeter to download after a few technical difficulties.

Looking forward to seeing you kick butt this summer!

BTW, nice job on trying to get Mary to a colder climate where she can't train and continue to get stronger and kick all of our little younger arses when they get back home.

I commend you on your efforts to help our cause. You, ddoTster, are a fine representative of the tri-community... keep up the great work ;).

BTW, BTW, what races are you doing this year?

You make me sick.

As it turns out, ddoT, our spring mailing will be a postcard just exactly to your taste, suitable for hanging, and just slightly larger than you hoped for.

UPS just delivered them to our door, and Mary will begin adding the stamps and addresses immediately.

I don't know how you got so lucky, but you did.

You are going to love the power meter you purchase with the money you saved.

     I have found more than the eight seconds I needed last year. I will be at least one minute faster on the swim, and I also just ran my fastest 5k ever this past Sunday. I have not even been seriously run training yet.

As soon as my tax return comes back, I will be purchasing some Zipp 1080's.

You better pack more than your power meter this year, I'm starting to take this Tri thing seriously.Ok, I'm kidding. I hope you're doing well!

To the Widow-

     I would like to order my Endico Watercolor now.

I would like it to be based on Mt. Everest, as viewed from the Nepal (southern approach) side, and including the Khumbu icefall.

Please let me know when it's ready.

One inch by two inches should be a sufficient size to stick within my budget.

Lauren, I suggest you take ddoT's threat seriously.

He is one tough motherfucking cookie… evidenced by the fact that he has already lived longer than the last person who suggested Mary do an "of a" painting using requested composition and design elements.

BTW: Mary once did a painting of that size for somebody's doll house, but knew right away it took longer to do than a full size piece so should have cost a lot more.

Save your money for a power meter, ddoTster.

I looked at that calculator again, but it doesn't look changed.

What's up?

KH just looked at it soon after you, and seems to have done a couple calculations with different numbers to confirm that what he saw was what he was seeing.

Here you go. Here's the link again. >>>

Cranky dropped by this morning and hit both images.

Could this mean she has given up on skimming?

I can aspire…

INSIDER TIP #01374429

At 5 seconds Mary is weaker than an untrained woman.

At 5 minutes she is testing at Cat 3… for MEN.

Jump on your trainer, pound a few strokes, and bask in your win.

I just got around to checking the website usage logs, and I saw how it happened.

Do me a favor.

Next time you get on your trainer, stand and go as hard as you can for a couple seconds, then turn in your max watts along with your body weight.

Nice job, Mary! What a feeling that painting gives.

I am sure that this will all become very clear to me after a month of using this amazing, fun tool! Pretty exciting!

Thanks for the information :)

Why don't you just give her a little goal already.

Yo, Lauren.

Last summer Mary did 171 watts for one hour.

You should be able to beat that by sundown.

Since I held the 151 for over 60 minutes how does this all compute?

Again, sorry for the lack of intelligence in this area.

Otherwise, the Powertap software keeps track of the other numbers for you… and more.

It's already doing it for you, and you don't even know it. It takes care of lots more numbers than on that chart, but simplicity is the key.

The best process is to set goals and go for it.

Little ITT's held on your own terms, on your own time.

With these solid, reliable, repeatable results you won't have to wait for an "event" to go for PB's.

But watch it… it is addictive.

I am also unsure of what column I fall into. But how very cool that you have put together a very nifty and quick file to get the answers very fast!

At the top of the columns in the book are 4 time values for both men (on the left) and women (on the right).

They are:

5 sec    1 min   5 min   FT

Choose a column for whatever time you held those watts.

Fuck the women's numbers. Use the mens. It pisses 'em off.

"FT" stands for Functional Threshold which is generally guaged at 1-hour, though people have come up with clever calculations so you can avoid a 1-hour time trial.

We prefer barebacking the full hour.

I really need to get into the book and figure out the numbers.

I have been so busy just trying to get back into a routine and am just very happy to even be training again.

Should I be encouraged??

No need to think, I just this minute programmed this for you.

She thinks "that woman" is a "Good I-talian girl."

You know: be president and maybe (just maybe) you'll get laid afterwards… sometime way down the road… by somebody... maybe.

Why do you think Cranky signed on?

Hope springs eternal.

I saw my heart rate was 147 by the end of the first couple, so I spent a lot of time working on bringing my heart rate down for the same effort through correct breathing and form.

I managed to make things a lot smoother than last time.

Engaging my left butt cheek was the secret. I eventually got my ending bpm down to 142, and it never went back over 145.

After the 9th one, my HR started dropping precipitously immediately after finishing each, so I'm pretty stoked.

Next I'll try 3 minute rests, so I don't run out of course before finishing the intervals, and I can bring the number of them up to 15.

I'll stay there till I bring the rests down to 0.

It is just enough pressure to make me feel like I'm doing something, and can pay close attention to my form, but not so much that I risk blowing out my back, knee, hip.

I almost forgot. My average speed for them ranged from just under 23 to just over 25 mph in a very light wind.

I'm giving myself a 6.5 for efficiency.

I had to force the Widder to get out on her bike today.

It was just too fucking hot and sunny.

Did you know she was just awarded a certificate for being the best damn employee IBM ever had?

Last year those intervals would have been major efforts for Mary.

In fact, she was working on 260 not 270 watts, and at shorter times, and the last 10 seconds would have been killers.

Yesterday, she knew she was working at the end, but not to max.

As for me, I'm just establishing base lines of any sort—as I ween myself off thinking Mary's watts should be hard for me.

I continue to be amazed how much more precise watt training is, especially when it comes to knowing when things are going downhill (which is really everything, isn't it?).

I was telling Mary on the way over to the ride that we should really be calling off rides as soon as we experience a watt drop relative to perceived effort as our particular individual weak areas give out.

I also told her we are weak willed people who would not be able to make ourselves do it, so we weren't going to try.

The compromise was medium hard intervals while watching how very subtle slight pains and hard-to-feel autonomic adjustments were significantly impacting power output.

I knew my left knee/hip were below par immediately during the flight check, then I made note of how they gave out after about four of the 300+ intervals.

I spent the remainder of the ride watching how the failure was insinuating itself down the remainder of the drive train until my back started hurting.

I tried to keep my power down as I thought about how many rides I have done where I was already blown out at the very beginning… and thus I hurt my performance, did not help it.

Without the watt meter, I would be only vaguely aware of that progression of failure (it is very subtle indeed), and my heart rate never got over high Zone 3, so I am very excited to get this more precise feedback to help me identify and deal with problems much earlier than I would have ever found them previously.

Two brave old fucks went out into the warm sunshine braving the heat and armadillos and light wind.

Widder did 6 x 1-minute intervals at 270 watts. Followed by a 5 minute at 182, then 5 spin-ups over 550, and another 5 over 600.

I did 12 x 1-minute intervals between 300 and 365 then finished it off with a 27:04 223 watt interval on the uninterrupted 9 mile section of the trail for a 20.54 mph average with a 24.1 maximum into the wind resist such as it was.

By the end of the ride, we were mostly off on our own, and I passed her near the end of my long effort.

Comparison of our longer intervals still confirms that at 20 mph, I need 50 watts more than Mary on the flat, and only get back 20 by drafting her scrawny little ass into a mild headwind.

The entire activity was 39.22 miles overall.

In other words, yesterday was a rest day.

Then you'd better fix that link... again.

He must have figured out the secret.

Thank you, Bob. >>>

That matches my old Widder Wacking performance, but I've got humongous mass on my side for the follow through.

In fact, I am a friend of his and have even submitted content for his fanzine on the ARC website.

However, I really have to show all you so-called watt-aholics this little photo of my hand. >>>

May as well add a photo of your leg. >>>

Did you hear that Humberto got a spot on an actual true Portuguese Pro racing team which is invitation only?

He had to show up for a bunch of rides, prove himself, and then be invited to fill out the paperwork.

Unfortunately, they have actual rules, and while on that team he is not allowed to ride for any other teams.

Take away his "Vitamin B12" injections?

IBM accounted for ¼ of the growth in today's market.

So Dangerous Dan passed out and had to be carried away after what was said (and the market tanked… again), but what was the big deal?

Did anything important happen today?

What did the man say about change?

Here are the man's words… the full transcript.

I'm sure you will find the wait was worth the words.

Incredible. >>>

Illinois. The 60's. That was the epicenter. The beginning of it all.

You have to have more stories.

Something big was about to happen, and I thought, "Man, look at those guys. They are the real fucking deal. Maybe somebody is finally going to get things to change."

Then all they did was introduce some new young speaker. He spoke well enough I guess. His name was Jesse Jackson, and I believe he's still around somehwere.

Still, we were all radical little anit-war activists and peace-nics, but what is about to happen today is like from another planet.

Even though we were all community organizers and volunteer workers (our college even gave credit for work in the Saint Louis slums), nobody could have hoped for this, and the things that will be said today herald a true and lasting change which is totally unprecedented.

I believe the ARC Staff is right this moment finishing up the fact checking of the speech transcript.

We'll have it up momentarily.

It was a perfectly bright sunny spring day circa the turn of the decade just outside the Campus Union Building of a small liberal arts college near Springfield, Illinois.

I was sitting on the cement wall just outside the front door engaged in conversation with a willowy reddish-blonde who had appeared seemingly from nowhere.

Generally I would run from such conversation, but I remembered somebody had said, "You should really talk to Christine. They say she digs you."

That kind of talk always made me do stuff not my norm.

I remember I was listening and thinking how interesting the sun was dappled on the freckles of her inside left calf where her blue jeans had hiked up just ever so slightly.

I was also thinking, "This woman is pretty extravagant. Look at that hair."

Then after trying to get me to say something about my plans for the future she said, "This college thing really isn't working out for me. I'm getting out of here and going to New York to become an actress."

We were all rabid little intellectuals and literary buffs on that campus, but for an English/Drama major to go this far was still a little beyond what I could fathom.

I never really spoke to her after that, because hoping to get laid is one thing, but dealing with pure fantasy is quite something else, or maybe exactly the same thing if the truth be told.

In any case, I was reminded of that old memory at the end of last night's Steven Colbert when Christine sang over the retrospective of the Bush administration.

Back in the day I was a little tougher on the pipe dreams issue, but Christine did a stint on Broadway with Richard Burton, a long stay on Saturday Night Live, an extended sitcom gig, etc, so I've decided there may still be hope for her to become an actress.

Christine Ebersole will be at the Café Carlisle till the end of the month, but don't mention you know me. She won't remember, and didn't even know I was SlingShot at the time.

In the 60's they called me: FUGGG-ITTT!

The number of people gathering around to see this happen is astonishing.

I am sure that what the man has to say will be significant (I'm quite excited to hear it is myself), but being a numberless face in a crowd of countless other numberless faces is not going to add to the meaning of his words in the slightest.

You know, kids on their bicycles are actually dying under bombs being delivered in these people's names.

One would have thought they would have gotten together in these numbers to say something about that!

Tomorrow is the long awaited and well overdue transition.

We will not be able to be there to see it, but we have a host of reporters who will, and who will feed us significant details to add to this very meager otherwise marginal website.

This is huge. The change arrives tommorrow.

Only two more days until the exciting event.

Rest assured: things will be different, and we will provide full coverage of the whole affair right here on these very pages.

You're not going to say anything about the moons?

I found a broken link where ddoT hit number 106 on a selection list and came up with a blank page.

Now I'm working through the rest of his usage log to see what other issues he uncovered.

Here's what he should have seen. >>>

Besides, I think somebody already sent us that video, and I immediately saw a half dozen things he could be doing to improve his performance.

It's too depressing to see people who should know better (or at least know people who know better) not knowing better.

I did repeats of 1 minute at 300+, then a 1 minute 400+, then decided things were going so good I should try to set a 700+ five second PB.

Got in my big ring, stood and pushed hard, popped my chain off the outside of the ring. It got so pretzeled around the crank, I had to dismount and take my back wheel off to get things going again.

I tried another and popped the chain again. It was only Mary who was thinking about how we were 20 miles from nowhere with a mechanical.

She mentioned it, and I decided to draft her home. The full loop was 36 miles.

My bike is now in the shop, and Mary just had a phone fight with the owner about how my special mod to the cog actually can work, in fact has worked for the last 5 years.

Mr. Your-bike-is-set-up-all-wrong-but-I-can-fix-it finally acquiesced.

You know how Widder can be.

Today. Just for you. Nine flat easy uninterrupted non-scientific miles on the Suncoast Trail into a mild headwind.

Me to Mary's side only dropping back for oncoming traffic (maybe a half dozen times) but never into full draft.

Mary: 130 watt average, 342 max.
Me: 158 watt average, 436 max.
16.97 mph average

I would give us both a 7.5 for efficiency.

Check out the chart. >>>

If you are such a damn genius, SlingShot, tell me why it's not working.

Money is not capital, nor does the government have any.

Holy shit! I love that thing.

It was incredible to see all the things I've been telling Widder play out first hand.

A full year riding on her wheel stepping her through problems as I watched how the thing worked and caught misconceptions that her meter's slow response was forcing on her, while we learned hundreds of details of ride performance and how to improve based on actual valid feedback really paid off.

After she left the ride I set a goal to stay somewhere in the 200 watt range and see what things I could see.

It is unbelievable how easy 200 watts is, unless you overwork for a few seconds, then 140 feels harder than 200 until you recover.

I kept reviewing all the rides I've done where I've blown myself up early and then thought my "perceived effort" had some relationship to my actual power output… despite my long standing and constant attention to that detail, and that's not to mention a year of riding on Mary's wheel catching her overworking (by feel) long before her power meter reported it to her.

Mary is still pissed off that my efficiency is already so much smoother than hers right away. Still…

That fucking meter does a great job of rewarding good behavior.

The 200 watts was easy and just on the edge of the beginning where I feel like I'm starting to push into a little forward momentum… but only if I focus on engaging my left Gluteus medius and medial quad while supporting the movement of my knee with my Tibialis and Flexor digitorum longus while pulling up just ever so slightly farther with my left abs and obliques. [My weak side for the non-technical among you.]

A moment or two of inattention and whoosh, I had to overwork to get back up to watts, and the reflex to overwork usually brought me over the edge to where 149 started feeling hard.

In-fucking-credible!!!

Everybody run out right away and buy a power meter.

Do whatever it takes. Sell whatever you've got. Fuck whoever you have to. Get a god damn power meter. Do it quick before the economy gets bad.

I'm selling my dog on E-bay and getting the ceramic bearing upgrade.

Both Paris and Little Danny Sullivan smiled and told me that I was going to ride against metal man…whoever he is.

Well, after 31.06 miles (and my tongue hanging on the floor), they told me I did 322 watts for 74 minutes.

Is that good, bad or does it really suck?

They were just laughing at me as I crawled to the car.

Please advise.

Now you know how wonderful the reliable objective repeatable measurement of your actual performance can be to enhance your understanding of the truth of your ride, and plan your future.

Take my ride today with Widder.

We did 35.54 miles on Gulf Boulevard, down to Passe Grille and back.

To put that in context it is very much like riding a Hump on 211 in Middletown, if you circled from the Galleria entrance to the Dunkin Donuts back and forth.

Well, anyway, about the watts.

After our flight check we went out on the boulevard and the first couple miles was through a construction zone, so I just figured the Widder was nervous and was pushing the pace to get through it.

My watts kept peaking over 300, and I still couldn't catch her. When I finally did I complained, "How many fucking watts you got going there kid?"

She said, "94," and I said, "Bullshit, look again."

"Oh… 134."

Then she basted me again for another mile or so and finally waited for me.

I asked, "When you cleaned and lubed our chains today, did you do anything to my wheel?"

"No. Nothing. Except your brake was open, so I closed it."

I got off my bike and spun the back wheel, which would not spin.

See?

Without my power meter I would have done the whole ride like that, because it felt pretty normal to me.

And without your power specs today, you might not know to never believe a word those fuckers tell you… especially when Turtle Boy is out of town and not watching them.

BTW: They must like you pretty good to let you ride against the metal man.

Usually they make newbies ride against one of them and switch the wires on the Computrainers, so they can make your numbers go down the harder you work.

It must be nice to be loved.

I think Lance could put out 400 watts all day, so what would be required of the Widder to hang on that?

And how about a weather report?

On the flat when we are riding side by side, the difference is only about 15 to 20 watts.

She gains a lot on the turns which are much like hills. The enertia is pulling me off the road coasting white-knuckled, but she can keep pedaling.

Read the Landis book again. Lance can only do those sort of watts for about 10 minutes.

The world record for 1-hour is about 465.

Last year it took me a 645 watt average to hold onto Mary's wheel to the top of the Clearwater Bridge (the climb is very similar to the hill to Cross Road), and a couple days ago she posted a personal best on it with me on her wheel… I wasn't even breathing hard.

During today's TT my HR never went over 153, so it was far from a massive effort despite my blowing out my knee/hip when I lost 3 watts on a turn-around, panicked, and overworked trying to get it back.

It was only a low Cat 4 performance (given today's power/kg), but from what we learned bringing Mary's performance up, I know I can get a lot better with absolutely no strength training or interval work.

My goal for this year is 300 watts for 1.5 hours, and 400 for 10 minutes.

I need lots of Pop-Watts work to get in tune with what 200, 300, and 400 is, so I don't overwork. Mary's much better at that stuff, because we worked on it all last winter and summer and up to the cold rainy end of the year.

Still, I don't have two CPU's to watch average and current watts at the same time, but even with her two computers Mary was assigned 200 and 300 pops today, and she reported hitting 575 by accident.

That shit can get away from you before you know it.

As for the weather, it's probably snowing.

Look outside and see.

I just completed our 16.71 mile test loop in 46:47 with a 225 watt average and a 21.42 mph average.

I fucking love the power meter I inherited from the Widder when she upgraded to a ceramic bearing.

I learned more in the last two days than in the last two years.

It is really good to see an objective confirmation regarding how my bum knee and sucky hip fuck up my power.

The constant reminder to engage left really helped a lot.

I'm sure none of that makes any sense to anybody, but somebody might understand the following.

Widder held my wheel for the whole trial with a 139 watt average.

HUMP REPORT

Turtle Boy is in Portugal getting his ass handed to him.

When something comes up, I jump on it and stay on it till something gives.

That's just the way it is.

As far as I know, there is no such thing as clean in cycling, but I just managed to put on 8 lbs in 5 days myself.

People think you are so clever, because you make this shit up, but all you ever do is state the bare facts as simply as possible.

I just saw where George W. declared the whole Pacific Ocean as a U.S. Territory and made it a Protected National Park all in one fell swoop!!!

First time was three years ago, also in Floriduh.

While practicing her standing on her way home from the ride tonight, some kids yelled at her from a car, "Hey, faggot!!!"

She said, "I sure must be looking strong."

I would have loved to go catch those kids and make them take a close look at who they called a faggot.

They would be having bad dreams for years.

Sorry.

Excuse me. I'm getting a call on my cell phone.

I took one look at her too cute crinkling nose and smirked, "Oh great. Another one of these over zealous gym bunnies pumping up the fat ass masses!"

Then Sanjay read the first question from a viewer, "What can be done about belly fat?"

I went, "Oh boy. Here we go. Here comes the nonsense!"

But just about the very first words out of Julian's mouth were, "Let me make this perfectly clear. You cannot spot reduce…"

HALLE-FUCKING-LUJAH. Finally some fucking truth on the television!!!

Julian went on to make not one single mistake with the rest of the advice she provided, and mentioned she does not believe in "plateaus," that people just lose focus.

Move more, eat less. Basically.

Julian Michaels is absolutely the real deal without a doubt.

So here's a link to her website, despite my fear the site itself probably has nothing to do with her.

Still... >>>

Much better to put those foul images in SlingShot's head in order to torture him for the rest of the day.

Nice job Sanjay. Way to let your handlers take advantage of a cute crinkly nose.

He sure does look like you... especially since you took off some weight.

How can you be so sure?

Why didn't you tell us you were appearing in videos?

I'd let you put it in the Chatterbox, but that would be stealing.

All you have done is made it certain that you will make it to Ridgebury, and that Ridgebury will hurt longer once you get there.