| # | Time EST | President | Chatter | User'sLink | My Personal SlingShot
aka: Sling Blades | Shot's
Link |
| 1288 | 6/29/2007 1:02:00 AM | SlamCrank | I heard that Guarnuccio tossed out a narrative so perfectly crafted and symetrically pristine that SlingShot himself could not even comment. | | Yes he did, but you have not. | |
| 1287 | 6/28/2007 10:24:00 PM | FG | I have also spotted this "Ryan" picking his way through the construction zone at the intersection of County Road 67 and County Road 96 (East Main Street & Carpenter Avenue) in Middletown and thought to myself as sweat dripped from under my hardhat, along my spine, and down the crack of my ass to my socks, as I waited for the workers to button the road up for the day, "That's a crazy mofo right there..." Then I realized that in my younger days, a steamer of a day like that was perfect weather for a ride down Ramapo Avenue into New Jersey, over Skyline Drive into Ringwood, through Sloatsburg, and back home to Suffern via Harriman State Park, filling my water bottles along the way from the garden hoses of gracious homeowners. Ah, youth! | | | |
| 1286 | 6/28/2007 9:31:00 PM | Turtle Boy | Fuck the weather. Fuck!! Fuck!! | | You certainly have a way with words. Or with one at least. | |
| 1285 | 6/28/2007 11:30:00 AM | PCP | A little problem determination assistance here Slingshot - perhaps your wheel was spolkled? | | Motherfolkl! You might be right. | |
| 1284 | 6/27/2007 2:56:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Just spotted Ryan doing some hot weather training on Dolson Avenue in Middletown. You gotta give the guy credit as he rides in both extreme heat as well as the extreme cold of winter, but what got me scratching my head was catching the widow tracking back 100 yards in her car with someone resembling the likes of Slingshot. I think she may have been trying to help Slingshot in his useless attempt to pick up hot weather training tips. Totally futile if you ask me. | | What? Wasting time online wasn't enough for you? Now you gotta drive all over Orange County tracking us? | |
| 1283 | 6/27/2007 2:13:00 AM | Dudley | It was a fun ride at the Sussex fairgrounds! Congrats to Iron Mike and Glenn on their strong finish. The 'Punisher' nom should go to Skylands Dave. | | Excuse me. You are Mother Folkl, but nice try. | |
| 1282 | 6/27/2007 1:12:00 AM | Pretty Boy | Congrats to Dudley "The Punisher" Do-Right on the unrelentless punishment he dished out at the Augusta crit. | | Excuse me, but you are speaking of Mother Folkl. | |
| 1281 | 6/27/2007 1:01:00 AM | FG | ...doughnuts doughnuts doughnuts... SlingShot's Number One!! | | Quit fucking with me. | |
| 1280 | 6/26/2007 11:56:00 AM | ARC Staff | For the bajillionth time, allow us to remind everybody that rollovers almost always exist for photos. Usually it is only a quick text trashing, but sometimes more. We observed a fidgity Poor Levine unable to view them, because he is a control freak and cannot leave his mouse alone for a second. Just put the pointer on the image, take your hand off it, and scratch your head. This message does not apply to Terry Bowden, because his browser does not support viewing the text pop-ups, and we haven't figured out a work around. The Black Widow says, "The little text jokes are the best part. Otherwise, a photo is just a photo." | | The Black Widow says a lot of things. | |
| 1279 | 6/26/2007 11:15:00 AM | PCP | Yes, the first time I missed the rollover, however I did see Widder in my glasses - not only while the picture was being taken, but in the photo as well. Also, if you look closely at Widder in the roller eyeglass view, you will see a glazed doughnut to the right. If you don't see it the first time, blink three times fast, close your eyes, say 'ummm doughnuts doughnuts doughnuts' and try again. | | This is supposed to be my website and the Widder is making it into an artsy fartsy online portfolio to display her own genius. Crikey! I can't beat her on the road and now she is taking over my online world where I really am number 1! | |
| 1278 | 6/26/2007 3:15:00 AM | SlamCrank | Yo! SlingShot! Do you not understand the concept of "tongue in cheek satirical comment"? That "SlingShot is No. 1" comment was clearly a bald face trashing in broad daylight. | | Still...to be deserving of being trashed. Is that not the ultimate goal? | |
| 1277 | 6/25/2007 9:52:00 PM | PCP | Cool panoramics! | | I guess we are to assume you missed your rollover? | |
| 1276 | 6/25/2007 9:09:00 PM | BLASTER | Toe Clip spotted Sunday afternoon on Pine Grove Road in Howells doing secret training, most likely preparing to kick the General's ass on his own ride. | | Toe Clip wouldn't do such a thing. | |
| 1275 | 6/25/2007 12:20:00 PM | ARC Staff | Weirdest Google Search Report: This morning somebody got to ARC using the search "PMan premium fried banana". | | Unlikely they found what they were looking for. | |
| 1273 | 6/24/2007 9:37:00 AM | ARC Staff | Palletman, you'd better start getting some sleep. | | Reading American Road Cycling is not a career path. | |
| 1272 | 6/23/2007 8:07:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | HERE'S YOUR RACE REPORT RIGHT HERE!!! (The usual.) Stayed near the front throughout. Tried riding smart, but caught myself doing some work on point… and finally, tried to avoid it but got blown back about 10 spots in the last ¼ to ½ mile. The end result: 13 out of 39. Now, I'm gonna have to kidnap one or two ARC or OCBC racers for the next race in Brooklyn--July 7. I'll be back to the hump next saturday to scout for targets… | | I you choose an %#!$ rider, you'll first have to teach them not to stop at the bakery half way through the race. BTW: I hear somebody is trying to make it a tradition to place all finish lines closer to the end of the race than somewhere in the last ¼ to ½ mile. Be on the lookout for the new standard. | |
| 1271 | 6/23/2007 6:02:00 PM | SlamCrank | I still don't understand why these fucking losers can't get it together to go down to Brooklyn and kick Toe Clip's pansy ass. | | Because they're losers. That's why. | |
| 1270 | 6/22/2007 3:14:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Hey Palletman, if you're gonna give us the thrill of reading your post race post (and it was a good one), you gotta at least post your finish, Man. That just wasn't right. Now, what about Brooklyn tomorrow, damn it?! (And Mr. Grand Pubba Slingshot: weren't you already forwarned about referring to Kevin Haley by his middle name????) | | Shouldn't we sorta assume that if P'man's finish was something worth talking about he would have? As for Kevin's middle name: we merely have to place a note in our ledger to send reproduction fees to his mother who originally gave him the name. I would mention that name here, but right now we can't afford it. | |
| 1249 | 6/21/2007 7:33:00 PM | FG | You guys had to wait until the first scene to confirm that the movie you were watching was a porno?!? I like my confirmation in the opening credits, thank you! | | Come on, FG. Get hold of yourself. | |
| 1248 | 6/21/2007 10:45:00 AM | Palletman | The word I was searching for was asymptotic. Which is a straight line approached by a given curve as one of the variables in the equation of the curve approaches infinity. How that relates to the porno you and the Black Widow were watching I'm not quite sure. But, that was the word I was searching for. | | Oh, I see. That's right. The term 'asymptotic' is one those given to early students of management and business finance in order to insure they remain distracted from commerce, and thus forever incapable of making a cent on their own. That way they are forced into the corporate workspace—which is the goal of all modern education anyway. Well, I guess I see the correlation to the phrase "graphic polymorphic couplings" which held the term "polymorphic" which the Black Widow skipped as "too long" and therefore missed the fact the Netflix DVD she ordered would arrive with no other indication of its XXX rated-ness. The first scene left it in no doubt whatsoever, but I guess that is ok though, because we would have missed an otherwise rather worthy film—had she known better. Outside of the empty sex, devoid of all sensuality, the remainder of the film was filled with horrific stories of personal angst and gut wrenching despair. Guess that's why they left it: "Unrated." In any case, the film has definitely put me off sex for good and forever…polymorphic nor otherwise. I have now asked the Widder to please read the full info in the future, and not rely on titles. She thought this one was about cycling and the people we know involved in it, because of the title: "Shortbus." Don't rent it. And if you do, don't blame me. And if you do rent it and don't blame me, notice how one of the main characters could be your twin brother. | |
| 1247 | 6/20/2007 11:27:00 PM | SlingShot | Palletman, maybe this is what you were talking about on today's Silence of the Lambs with Humberto: "In the hyperbolic plane, there are two lines through a given point that intersect a given line in the limit to infinity. While in Euclidean geometry a geodesic intersects its parallels in both directions in the limit to infinity, in hyperbolic geometry both directions have their own line of parallelism." Unfortunately, I forget what the subject of conversation was. | | SlingShot's always got an angle. | |
| 1246 | 6/20/2007 10:02:00 PM | PCP | Wow! It can get confusing out here. Hope we all don't end up in the old age home together. Imagine the bullshit we'll be slinging there? | | Black Widow says she'll kick your ass in a walker any day! And bring it on Toe Clip! Heiny or no heiny, you'll be seeing mine from the bottom of Ridgebury upward and onward. | |
| 1245 | 6/20/2007 7:49:00 PM | Stalkee | I see my stalker-friend is trying all means to infiltrate Castle ARC... just keep an eye on the moat, dammit! They can't swim, but given their Canadian roots in hockey, if the moat freezes, I'm fucked! | | There has been some indication (oddly confirmed from a thrid party) that it might actually have been D.B. We'll ask him on a ride in order to be sure. | |
| 1244 | 6/20/2007 4:43:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Oops! Freudian Slip… | | Sorry, but I can't find it. What page of the Victoria's Secret Catalog begins the Freudian Slips? | |
| 1243 | 6/20/2007 2:37:00 PM | Toe Cip Guy | How dare you, Sir! How dare you refer to Mary Beth with such vulgarity. Princess Cranky Pea Binky Queen Royal Heiny, I'm here to defend your honor! I'll be challanging the host OGRE to a dual; me with my cheap ass aluminimum bike frame (albeit with fast wheelset), and him with his fancy pants carbon fiber frame and all… Slingshot: Consider yourself forewarned! | | Tell me more about the Royal Heiny part. | |
| 1242 | 6/20/2007 12:28:00 PM | D.B. Haley | How long must I wait for Slingshot's secret racing secrets? I have an important race coming up soon. | | SlingShot's secret racing secrets are secret. Otherwise, here is a hint and a don't or two. Just get behind Kevin and kick his ass at the end. Don't get behind Palletman. Don't follow Toe Clip early off the front. Don't believe a word Poor Levine says. Don't get behind Twin George, because he is only working for Poor. Don't get behind Humberto, because he's not racing. Don't worry about TP Joe Straub, because he only wins a sprint when there is one. Don't worry about Heather, because you won't be beating her anyway. And don't believe posts from Canada that pretend to be local riders. | |
| 1241 | 6/20/2007 11:23:00 AM | PCP | Hills in Sullivan County? Its one big darn hill up there. I think I hear my mommy calling... | | Must I repeat this? —> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1240 | 6/20/2007 11:17:00 AM | Catskill John | I see my name being used. Haven't eaten any bennanas lately. Haven't seen any bennanas lately. You're all bennanas. As for the ass kicking of the Sullivan County riders: How about a Sunday hill climbing ride up here where men are men, etc. | | Now you've done it. | |
| 1239 | 6/20/2007 10:26:00 AM | FG | RE: Strange Days Indeed...
SlingShot, did you double up on your meds? You were AWFULLY nice.. WTF gives? | | Don't know S.A. Might be somebody's six year old. On the other hand, they might be real big and fast. Better to not piss off a possibly good pull right away. You guys I know. You deserve what you get. Also, anybody insane enough to fill out one of those forms… well, they might be fixin' to go postal on us any moment. | |
| 1238 | 6/20/2007 10:24:00 AM | FG | PCP, thanks for clearing that up for me.. I was a bit confused until you stepped up and straightened things out.
| | So you think things are straightened out, do you. Naïve little boy. | |
| 1237 | 6/20/2007 9:32:00 AM | Palletman | Black Widow, don't worry. You can come work "with" me any day. | | No she can't. | |
| 1236 | 6/20/2007 12:43:00 AM | PCP | Ok, odds and ends here - John in the picture under Banana Cruet is not John who posts on this site who we sometimes refer to as Catskill John. John in the picture is also another John from Sullivan County though. He does not ride with Skylands.
Also, the entry still seems to say 5/16 vs. 6/16 on the photo directory. Thanks for pointing me to the pics and also for the intriguing information on Mary's BFF Petie Pete. Maybe they can have some post ride sushi or sashimi together. He also better be careful about what he says about Dr. Artie Art. After all, look what happened to Pallet after a Ka Ka comment. | | Yeah, we knew it wasn't Catskill John. Tonight at Harriman BLASTER said it couldn't be Skylands John either, because he was at a race on Saturday. That probably means it might in fact be another John called Sullivan. BLASTER is supposed to check the photo for us. If so, there are far too many John's, and far too many people from Sullivan County showing up for the Hump. Our plan is to corner that whole Sullivan table and start takin' names before kickin' ass. In any case, wasn't it that slut Mary Beth who said, "They are all John's to me." [Computer Tip of the Day: When editing a local file, SlingShot has decided it is always best to copy it onto the server afterwards, else 5/16 will be that forever. Management Tip of the Day: The Black Widow is fired.] | |
| 1235 | 6/19/2007 11:57:00 PM | FG | duh.. HUH? | | Nothing. Forget about it. | |
| 1234 | 6/19/2007 10:16:00 AM | ARC Staff | Somebody has confirmed for us through a secure channel that the person in the photo is whom we thought it was. The only thing is that apparently there are others who call him "Sullivan John," which may be why whom we used to call "Sullivan John" accepted the re-noming to "Catskill John" so graciously—in order to not add to the confusion. Also, it is still unclear wheather or not the person shown does in fact ride with Skylands, so is still "Skylands John" to us. Not that any logic needs to be applied to noms. Such as Mother Folkl is still Mother Folkl despite anything which may or may not happen to him in the past, present, or future to provide a less colorful presentation. | | I guess you guys think that makes sense. | |
| 1232 | 6/18/2007 11:05:00 PM | ARC Staff | We have just included a new photo to the ones in the 06/16/07 Hump photos—now linked from the Photo Directory using the correct date. The new photo is right under The Bicycle Doctor's banana'ing, and we believe it is of Skylands John. Maybe someone would like to confirm. | | Confirm this. | |
| 1231 | 6/18/2007 10:06:00 PM | PCP | Thanks Sling. I did miss Saturday's pictures. They don't seem to have an entry in the Photo Directory? Where are they housed?
Also, ask Mary why she has so many pictures of Chester Petie Ka Ka. | | Sorry, had it down as 05/16/07 instead of 06/16/07. The best part was hearing the Black Widow clicking her mouse while (in her most argumentative tone) sputtering, "What the hell is wrong with Princess Pea? Can't she even click on a…oh, it's got the wrong date." As for the Chester Pete photos, didn't you know KaKa is the Widder's new best friend? You should have heard what the motherfucker said about Dr. Art, and right outside our front door. Ok, I'll tell you. He said, "If Dr. Art rode as much as I (KaKa) do, he'd be in the Tour de France." Somebody starts talking about Dr. Art like that and The Widder starts giving them extra press. Otherwise, it seems Petie Pete Petie KaKa has pretty much lost his mind, or at least his edge. He was also nice to Mary's dog, and the dog loved him. Someone must have switched out his EPO for Prozac… if not flat out PCP. | |
| 1230 | 6/18/2007 2:00:00 PM | Toe Cip Guy | Hey, Princess Cranky Pea! Couldn't do the all day thing at Brooklyn. I was afraid Slingshot would've tried tying me down like the cannibal he really is. I did ok at the race, though—15 out of 46. I held my own throughout. Top 5/6 or better until the end, when all the heavyweights who were biding their time hit the final sprint. When it happened, I just waved bye bye in frustration. Gotta work on buying some sprint legs! The average overall pace was a decent 25+ including short cool down; my sprint sucked!. As far as the century, sorry you missed it, it was one hell of a ride…
Hey, Mr. Slingshot, phewy to you! | | What the fuck did I do? In any case, you don't have to buy sprint legs. Just save up the ones you have at the beginning of the ride for the end. Ask DKNY about it. They can tell you how Verge did it to kick their asses beyond recognition last Saturday. | |
| 1229 | 6/18/2007 1:39:00 PM | Palletman | Mary, you rode strong yesterday, impressive. 70 miles! And remember, always arch your back. I see SlingShot opted to eat out yesterday rather than having a nice home cooked meal. | | Actually, Mary reports only 68.3 miles. In any case, there is no such thing as a "nice" home cooked meal around the Widder... who, by the way, just saw FG in Monroe. In any case, maybe I should just arch YOUR back... you and your aggravating little spin. | |
| 1228 | 6/18/2007 12:00:00 PM | Palletman | The bakery stop was a well thought out plan by the General. He saw you were riding strong into New Paltz and was concerned you might kick his ass on the way back. He opted for the donuts knowing they would cool your jets. BTW: You should have just let us know you like cupcakes better than donuts… we would have stopped for them too. | | I ain't buyin' it. The General has never had a plan in his life. He doesn't even think far enough ahead to read this website on a regular basis. | |
| 1227 | 6/17/2007 11:44:00 PM | ARC Staff | Princess Cranky Pea, it appears you missed your photo that was mentioned in post #1225. Here's a link to it ---> | EXTRA
LINK... | Please ignore the mustache ride in progress below it. | |
| 1226 | 6/16/2007 4:43:00 PM | PCP | Hey Slingshot,is the back all better? How did it feel today? Now if you could help fix up Bianchi's back, Mama Bianchi will make you some brownies. | | Hey PCP, it is back to normal, that is to say constant pain and aggravation. Wait a minute, that's not my back…that's the pain in my ass. Well, she's ok too. Bianchi's back would be fine if he would just stand up straight and walk like a human. In other news, both you and FG have been added to the Hump photos. The Widder said something about signage at the ice cream stand was just perfect for your photo. I'm not sure what she meant. She's probably getting her material from Humberto, who has become the new Dangerous. | |
| 1225 | 6/16/2007 12:52:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Just don't let the Widder eat on Friday's anymore. We have to deal with the fallout all week.
Hey Toe Clip - Brooklyn is happenin'. You go for a ride, have a little lunch at one of those new café's, hang out until the late nite clubs that look like warehouses open… show off your spandex… oh, wrong club… Anyway… good luck! Hey- heard you did a century without me ! | | Hey, PCP… quit confusing The Clip. He'll start thinking people are paying attention. | |
| 1224 | 6/15/2007 11:23:00 AM | Toe Cip Guy | Fine…but who said anything about eating people? Are they supposed to be cannibals now…and we have to eat them before they eat us? OK, Slingshot, bring the grill, and don't forget the barbeque sauce..… | | I have just sent the Widder out for fava beans and a nice Chianti. | |
| 1223 | 6/15/2007 3:21:00 AM | SlamCrank | Toe Clip, looks like you've got these assholes confused with people who give a fuck, or at least with people who ride with some degree of serious intent. | | Fucking loser assholes. | |
| 1222 | 6/15/2007 1:34:00 AM | Toe Cip Guy | With regards to my last post asking for those that would be game for a little competition down town (way downtown)......what happened to the spirit of going off to foreign lands, meeting strange and exotic people, and BEATING them? | | What—are you freaking kidding me???? If Marco Polo himself ever went thru Brooklyn, he would have NEVER stopped, never mind meeting and then eating people! | |
| 1221 | 6/12/2007 10:15:00 AM | FG | And that's the very reason you are so well loved in cycling circles.. *COUGH* *COUGH* | | Gezhundheit! | |
| 1220 | 6/11/2007 8:47:00 PM | FG | Looks like you solved the problem with the refresh dealie. Were you working on this ALL day?!? You could have just let it go, but NOOOOOOOO... persistent little fucker, aren't we! | | It's a disease. If something ain't right, I am compelled to fix it. That's why I resigned from my position in local government. Nobody else there gave a shit about anything, least of all the sanctity of the process. | |
| 1219 | 6/11/2007 5:29:00 PM | FG | Sling, I don't believe it's my antivirus, and thanks for the link... it just furthers my point. | | I hate to admit it, but some of it furthered my point a little bit too. For the next test I made a redirect to the jpg. On testing it, I found that it would not view. Short story: click on the link. When the blank screen comes up, hit your refresh button. I'm thinking it is an issue with the server holding the copy of the jpg. See if this one works (then the previous ones), and don't forget to hit your refresh.---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1218 | 6/11/2007 2:35:00 PM | Palletman | Dear ARC, Your reporting is getting to be a tad un-believable. Do you expect us to believe today's photo of Humberto's bike with two full water bottles after a 53 mile ride. I'm not buying it. I mean I know he's good, but is he that good! | | Actually, Humberto didn't do the whole 53. When your prostate gets as big as his you will also prefer not drinking and bailing out of rides early to run home and into the bathroom while forgetting to bring in your bike. Plus you'll get senile enough that we can catch you with a banana. You may also gain a fine understanding of what a strong smooth pull can do in terms of speed, just like Dangerous who pulled Mary for the whole ride and still was upset the workout wasn't longer, faster, and harder. Too bad about TP Joe beating you on Saturday's Hump. The question you should be asking is, "How does he do it?" | |
| 1217 | 6/11/2007 1:49:00 PM | Toe Cip Guy | Looking for ARC readers with enough of the race bug to venture down to the City, June 16 &/or June 23… Brooklyn's Prospect Park. It's a dedicated Cat 4 and Cat 5 race—as well as Master's > 35 & Pro-1-2-3, for all you speed demons. Races are well organized and attract competitors from the tri-state area. Here's the kicker: for you guys accustomed to hammering the Hump, the course is fast and flat with one little slope they call a hill—piece of cake for the like's of Slingshot and company! | | Who the HELL wants to go to Broke Down Brooklyn…are you out of your fucking mind?????? | |
| 1216 | 6/10/2007 10:24:00 PM | FG | Cranky, I'm sure it's YOU that's making the She-7 look so good…the only thing I ever heard was "ON YOUR LEFT!"
SlingShot, it seems like the two links are dysfunctional, from my seat anyway. | | Maybe your Antivirus? Here, see if a direct connect to the Road Rash Queen's myspace works for you. There are photos there that cause the one you linked to appear tame. Really tame ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1215 | 6/10/2007 4:28:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | FG - Your She Seven is getting a lot of compliments on the road. Those road rash pictures gave me SHIVERS. | | Nothing for you to worry about PCP. That road rash came from true speed…a motorcyclist. Check out the myspace link response to FG above. | |
| 1214 | 6/10/2007 4:27:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | WAHHOOO!! Way to go Funnelcake Sullivan John!! You're as young as you ride. | | So then you are saying they schmoozed the geezers off their walkers and onto their bicycles? | |
| 1213 | 6/10/2007 10:22:00 AM | Catskill John | Rode in my first cycling races yesterday. Empire State Senior Games TT and
road race. Made it into the final selection. Won my age group. Seventh place
overall. Forgot to point my fingers at my chest and stab my fist in the air. | | But how did they get those folks from their walkers onto a bicycle? | |
| 1212 | 6/9/2007 11:23:00 PM | FG | Miss Pea, you're talking about the bicycle, right? OK, just checking. I've called her many things, but nothing really ever stood out and stuck, so I'd have to say no... but feel free to choose one!
SlingShot, how observant you are... I was indeed trying to post 2 (two) URL's... one of both sexes. I have reposted the second one again, as it's not coming up. | EXTRA
LINK... | The link is functional from my seat. Did you try the "Shot's Link"? Down there on post 1210 over on the right. ---> | |
| 1211 | 6/9/2007 8:12:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Oops. How absent minded of me, FG, not to state the evident so that you were not worried about your former baby getting dinged up. Does he/she have a name? | | | |
| 1210 | 6/9/2007 3:48:00 PM | FG | You're quite welcome, Miss Pea. Glad to hear you're enjoying it. I didn't want to ask if it was on my former ride that you developed your slight case of asphalt poisoning (sometimes referred to as deceleration trauma), because I didn't want to seem insensitive. | EXTRA
LINK... | Want two (2) URL's, FG? Split them thus. ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1209 | 6/9/2007 2:12:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Well Slingshot, you have a point there. A ride is a ride. Speaking of rides, FGs ride has now moved to the primary ride vehicle since Cranky's primary ride is still sitting in the shop waiting for parts. Thanks FG. | | | |
| 1208 | 6/7/2007 9:24:00 AM | Palletman | Can you please explain how today's feature article relates to cycling? | | Level of cycling performance tracks logarithmically in indirect proportion to the number of rides capped off by a bacchanal. You do the math, you fat ass loser. | |
| 1207 | 6/6/2007 11:30:00 PM | FG | SlingShot, you just have to make sure, whilst holding back her hair, that you stand directly behind her. This way she can't blow chunks on your leg if she turns to thank you for taking such good care of her. | | Yeah right. Like she would ever thank me. | |
| 1206 | 6/6/2007 10:25:00 PM | Turtle Boy | Hey! That was my banana! | | Don't worry, Humberto, yours is coming. | |
| 1202 | 6/5/2007 10:29:00 PM | FG | That being said, I guess I should look on the bright side of things.. I've never crapped on my foot, either. By the way SlingShot, did you at least hold back the Widder's hair for her while she was yakking? Now that's L-O-V-E! | | From the original 06/04/07 article titled "The Slump" which started all this (by way of an apology to Toe Clip for a delayed answer to his 06/02/07 Chatter Box posting regarding the Widder's absence from the Hump), paragraph six ends, "Therefore, I had to face my responsibilities, showed up for the Hump, and left the Widder holding her own head." The first step in holding her head was to move aside the puke caked strands of hair, so I guess one would say I did hold back her hair, but I'm not sure it would be called L-O-V-E so much as H-U-H, N-O-W, W-H-A-T? | |
| 1201 | 6/5/2007 2:36:00 AM | FG | One thing you didn't mention.. the part where the bits get caught between your teeth and gums, and you end up tasting it all over again a few hours later... shit, do I have to finish EVERY description for you?!? | | :(~~~~~~~~~~~~ | |
| 1200 | 6/5/2007 2:33:00 AM | FG | …I think… I'm gonna… be… be… sick... :(~~~~~~~~~~~~ | | | |
| 1199 | 6/4/2007 2:40:00 PM | Toe Cip Guy | I'm sorry to hear your better half is ill, and hope she fully recovers quickly, but, I'm especially sorry I had to read your OVERLY graphic discription of the symptoms.....GEEEZ!!!!! | | Then I'm sure you will commend me on my restraint (against the Widder's lobbying to include it) for my not putting in print the part where the regurgitant was actually oozing out of her eyes. I have my limits and there are some lines I will not cross. Recording descriptions of somebody puking out of their eye balls is one. I would never do that. In any case, she has decided that it was part of how she kicked my ass (again), since I only threw up twice to her four. Plus mine were just yellow bile, not projectile soup barrels as her's, and nary a drop came out my orbits. But if I did spew through my sockets, I certainly would never mention it. I guess I should mention, however, I never shit on my bare feet even once. | |
| 1198 | 6/2/2007 6:56:00 PM | Toe Cip Guy | MY BAD!....the finish enjoyed was with the core of the AA's, not overall, as that was once again accomplished by one of those racer's for that unnamed designer/custom bike team... | | | |
| 1197 | 6/2/2007 6:38:00 PM | Toe Cip Guy | Slingshot.....didn't see your better half at the Hump this morning...If you're not gonna let her come out and play, you might as well STAY HOME YOURSELF!!!!!!!
Also, my hat goes off to a senior racer (to remain unnamed here) for tactfully organizing a concerted group effort starting ar Ridgebury to track down and pick off other riders one by one and two by two. (For one, I sure needed the break at that point)...Also, by offering a couple of valuable pointers, this writer was able to hang on with the corps of the AA's (albeit just barely)..
I do have to admit that after all that, it was a little cheezy for me to go off the front in the final sprint and get caught by only one other rider.... | | | |
| 1195 | 6/2/2007 12:26:00 AM | FG | YW Miss Pea... I didn't want to give anyone the impression that I had lost my sense of humor or anything. I just thought SlingShot needed a jolt back to reality, but it didn't work. Regarding his silence, for someone with so much to say, he had nothing to say? I don't buy that for a moment. I was trying to bait him into a soul-bearing political rant... his are most excellent! Guess I'm the type to not be silent about such things is all. But I can see his point: "...so...tempted...must...stay away...from political...comments!" Hmmm...I wonder what wise old fart said that?
Anyhoo, SlamCrank... in the meantime, please keep my Newfie-Stalker on the banned list, ok? Thank you and have a nice day. | | | |
| 1194 | 6/1/2007 10:10:00 PM | SlamCrank | Hey Guarnuccio, somebody up near Saint John has been trying to get on the site again using a search for 'frank guarnuccio'. Should I put in a good word for them and have their IP allowed back on? | | | |
| 1192 | 6/1/2007 2:59:00 PM | SlamCrank | This is going to be rich. Everybody pull out your "Pocket Relativity" books. You'll need them to figure this one out. Cranky going out with SlingShot in order to stay out of the fray, when in fact it is Cranky who specifically is the fray. There's got to be some sort of space/time continuum nonsense going to be happening for this one. It will be interesting to see if SlingShot can go slow enough to arrive back in the parking lot before he even leaves it. | | | |
| 1191 | 6/1/2007 2:16:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | I'll go w/ ya Sling. Count me #3. It will keep me out of the fray !!
FG...thanks for the MLK inspiration. Bring a little reality to our fantasy web world. | | | |
| 1190 | 6/1/2007 12:34:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Sorry I got everybody all worried and stuff. I just got off my trainer and took another look at that big ugly bump on my head. Can you guys ever forgive me ? Turns out it is just my nose. | | | |
| 1189 | 6/1/2007 12:22:00 AM | SlamCrank | Maybe not. | | | |
| 1188 | 6/1/2007 12:21:00 AM | CaliperGirl | That doesn't sound quite the same. | | | |
| 1187 | 6/1/2007 12:18:00 AM | SlamCrank | Correct again, Cal. P'man said, "Ride's over. Let's hit that keg!" | | | |
| 1186 | 6/1/2007 12:17:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Palletman said something like that also, didn't he? | | | |
| 1185 | 6/1/2007 12:05:00 AM | SlamCrank | Unlikely that he won't. Soon as people find out Thursday has become a fast ride, there'll be plenty of people who want to kick his ass. He'll never get to go off the front alone again, but then that's the way fast rides happen. Don't forget what MLK said, "…I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight I will someday be quoted on bullshit pretend cycling websites." | | | |
| 1184 | 6/1/2007 12:05:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Think he'll get someone else to go with him? | | | |
| 1183 | 6/1/2007 12:04:00 AM | SlamCrank | Well, he got caught by the front group on the last hill before the turn off Craigville (Mother, Pman, Pman Jr., The Dropper, and someone or two he didn't know) before Mother and The Dropper finally cracked that crew surging after the Widder. Later he said, "Last week half way home. This week I got someone to help pull, so I made it two thirds of the way. If I get one more person to break early, those losers will never see my fat ass till I wiggle it in front of them as they get back to the parking lot." | | | |
| 1182 | 6/1/2007 12:03:00 AM | CaliperGirl | How about SlingShot? | | | |
| 1181 | 6/1/2007 12:02:00 AM | SlamCrank | It sure was. As the Widder turned onto Grey Court Road she looked back and saw Mother Folkl and Dave "The Dropper" Parker just coming over the last hill. They almost caught her, but she dug deep and held 'em off. | | | |
| 1180 | 6/1/2007 12:02:00 AM | CaliperGirl | I heard it was close, though. | | | |
| 1179 | 6/1/2007 12:01:00 AM | SlamCrank | Yep. He talked the Widder into going with him. He pulled to Ridge Road for a 20.1 average. When she waited for him at the top he told her to go on alone and not let them catch her. They never did. | | | |
| 1178 | 6/1/2007 12:01:00 AM | CaliperGirl | I heard tonight's ride was even more exciting. | | | |
| 1177 | 6/1/2007 12:01:00 AM | SlamCrank | That's right, Cal. Last week SlingShot brokeaway immediately—right under the rail trail bridge on the way out Meadow Ave. Then he held the front group off for just over half the ride to the hill on 94. | | | |
| 1176 | 6/1/2007 12:00:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Holy crap! I heard that SlingShot and the Widder broke the Thursday night ride wide open tonight. | | | |
| 1175 | 5/31/2007 10:42:00 PM | FG | "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
~~Martin Luther King Jr.~~ | | | |
| 1174 | 5/31/2007 9:07:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Come on Pman! That is just a veiled attempt at saying you are getting old! Another man on a bike that looks like you ? Chester Pete better tell him to gain 20 lbs. Hmm...feeling fiesty tonite...must be missing the trailside ride :(
Let me know who Blair Widder harasses since I cannot partake in the ride. Guess I'll go sit on the trainer for 5 minutes and nurse my wounds. | | Yeah, great idea for me to stay silent when I'm screaming to tell these people to just SHUT IT UP! 'Pallet this', 'Toe-Clip that', 'Cranky got a boo boo', just SHUT UP, RIDE, and PULL! | |
| 1173 | 5/31/2007 7:35:00 PM | Palletman | The next generation moves up. PalletmanII makes his cycling debut tonite at the Trailside Pub ride. | | | |
| 1172 | 5/31/2007 10:41:00 AM | SlamCrank | Hey, Toe Clip, not since you were back in Toe Clips have you been so naïve as to believe that anything about SlingShot is "genuine." He's probably using the whole thing as an excuse, so he doesn't have to update the website at midnight and can go to bed early. | | | |
| 1171 | 5/31/2007 3:04:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Hey, Cranky, come to think of it, I wouldn't be surprised if you found that dog over by Slingshot's. I wouldn't put it past him to sabotage your ride just to slow you down. He's using an extended Memorial Day Silence so as not to have to say anything. I originally thought his idea for silence genuine, but now I think he's simply ducking you. Shame on you Slingshot for hiding behind our fallen marines, sailors, soldiers, and airmen. That just plain SUCKS!!!! | | | |
| 1170 | 5/31/2007 1:33:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Don't make me have to start up more trouble here to wake ya' all up. I do like the moment of silence on home page. Thanks for well wishes FG, Catskill. Will try the doughut rub. On the mend and looking for that "bad dog"! | | | |
| 1169 | 5/31/2007 1:05:00 AM | FG | Hope all is well with "Da Pea"...rub some doughnuts on the road rash, I find that helps. | | | |
| 1168 | 5/31/2007 12:46:00 AM | SlamCrank | Too bad SlingShot is staying mute for the Memorial Day Salute. I bet his hand is cramping up trying not to say something about Princess Cranky Pea going down and "anything can happen," and "won't quit," and "it's too good." What is this, softball in Little League Park? | | | |
| 1167 | 5/30/2007 9:11:00 PM | Catskill John | The chatter stopped since Princess Cranky Pea went down. Here's to a speedy
recovery. Now and then, I think that I have become too comfortable with speed
on the bike—52 mph a week ago. Anything can happen. But I won't quit. It's too
good. | | Here's to a speedy recovery. | |
| 1166 | 5/28/2007 12:47:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Slingshot - your son surpassed his previously furthest distance on 2 wheels today. It was a beautiful thing. We were remiss in getting a picture for you to post.
Also, Spolkl attempted a skewer attack on me, but it was anticipated, and I dropped back quickly thus avoiding any spoke damage. You should be warned, however, that there is an airborne cellularly transmitted version of the skewers. Just before the ride we were syncronizing our cell phones with respective riders' numbers and Spolkl's number shorted out my cell phone! Strange, but true. | | You should have known better than to try to put in 66 six times. Oh, sorry, that's SlingShot's number. | |
| 1165 | 5/27/2007 1:50:00 PM | FG | But mine are made right here in good 'ol U.S of A! Oh, that’s right.. they cost five times as much and last half as long… maybe Cranky and Twin would like to buy a gross, as they are on sale this Memorial Weekend… Baker's Dozen! | | The line at Woodbury Commons was incredible. | |
| 1164 | 5/27/2007 12:50:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Hey Twin - want to go halfsies on a set of skewers? From the view I had on Thursday, you really only need one anyway. | | | |
| 1163 | 5/27/2007 12:01:00 AM | FG | Sorry for letting the cat out of the bag Doctor Spokl... and Signature Cycles better check with the Patent Office because the EXACT design posted on the ARC home page is already patented by none other than myself... nice try! Here's an idea: how about a skewer through two pinwheels... you might be able to patent that without a big-ass lawsuit! | | I phoned the legal staff at Signature Cycles, and they are pretty sure the design was not stolen from you but from an Asian knock-off of your design. They also mentioned the manufacturing was outsourced to China, so you are basically fucked as far as intellectual property rights are concerned. | |
| 1162 | 5/26/2007 9:01:00 PM | Catgskill John | I thought todays A ride was a wonderful ride. We got the big paceline machine
going at times. the weather was great. Patrick was there. Princess cranky pea
was there. Ryan floated up the hills. Spin guy did his part. What more could you
want? Well upon arriving back here in Happyville I stopped at the Grahamsville
Delli. Three road bikes leaned against the building. Three riders from NYC out
to climb the famous Glade Hill among others. One bike; A Cervelo P3; my
dream ride, stood right there. What more could you want? A P3!! | | You can't afford the damn thing so stop dreaming. | |
| 1161 | 5/26/2007 10:07:00 AM | Doctor Spokl | Frank, ARC was doing a great job of covering for me, until you posted the real story. We've developed new tactics in response to team DKNY's recent domination of the Hump. Where can I get replacement 'Gladiatior' wheel skewers? | | | |
| 1160 | 5/25/2007 3:11:00 PM | FG | According to one eye-witness, the events leading up to, and including, the shredding of Levine's wheel was like a Gladiator event at the ancient Circus Maximus Hippodrome where the Trojan (unrelated to condoms) Chariots with those spoke-shredder dealie hubcaps on the wheel moves in on the competition, takes out the spokes, causing horrific carnage (only without the horrific carnage). I think those brooms on their helms were used to sweep up afterwards... | | Apt description. Especially about the circus. In any case, if that is what happened, it would indicate Poor Levine was not so much at fault, and Tom Folkl has finally learned how to ride. That would also explain the horrific noise, and spokes spewn through the air like sparklers. Not to mention, the Hippodrome part would explain Paul's ass. | |
| 1159 | 5/25/2007 12:39:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Uh oh. Mother Spolkl. | | | |
| 1157 | 5/23/2007 8:10:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Isn't it Orange County cow manure? | | EPO - Extraordinarily Plenary Ordure | |
| 1156 | 5/23/2007 7:24:00 PM | Toe Cip Guy | Well? Has anyone seen the article in the Record? It houlda been in there by now, no? On another note: SlingShot, whatever it was you were smoking on your ride thru Otisville, it sure was strong as there must have been a residual amount in the air today---I made that same run midday today, and I too felt that "life is good" buzz going thru there, Whatever it is, somebody oughta figure how to bottle it up and mass market it!!! | | | |
| 1155 | 5/21/2007 10:07:00 PM | ARC Staff | Twin George Meyer is hereby suspended from Hump competition due to cheating. This afternoon two of the area's strongest riders were returning from High Point when they observed George out on the course practicing the Hump. If George is allowed to practice, there is no telling where it will end. What if he starts actual training? | | I hope the ARC Staff will reconsider this action. Usually I do not go to bat for people in this type of situation, but in this case I must. My belief is that George was not practicing the Hump. He was merely doing a reconnaissance ride in search of better shortcuts for Paul Levine. That is not really cheating, because anything George finds will be of no help to himself, and nobody expects anything other than cheating from Paul. | |
| 1154 | 5/21/2007 1:51:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Slingshot! Slingshot! Slingshot! That reporter is not from the THR, I think she is from the NYT. I'll tell you why. She started off by asking me easy questions like, why do you like cycling, how long have you been cycling, how many miles do you do in a week? Then her eyes went all the way to the left, then all the way to the right, then she leaned in and whispered: "Tell me, who is Deep Lungs? I know you know who it is. I have cash. Name your price…." But I pretended I didn't know what she was talking about. I did good, didn't I, Slingshot? | | I'm still going with the THR. If she was from the NYT she would have probably preferred interviewing an actual cyclist. Merely being the prettiest cyclist would not have entered into the equation. However, you did good. Mother Folkl (aka: Dudley Do Right) has only recently agreed that his name may be released as being Deep Lungs, so you can tell her next time you see her that Deep Lungs is that guy she thought looked like Lance. Me and the Widder are going out from Big-V in about an hour to do the 50 mile High Point loop, in case you decide it's time to start riding again. Looks like there's "A Mission" a brewin'. Oh, that's right… you don't do distance or hills. | |
| 1153 | 5/21/2007 1:15:00 PM | SlamCrank | What's this about another Dr. Art sighting by Cranky with mention of "white handlebar tape moving in the breeze"? Not likely. | | If anybody ever spots Dr. Art out on the road with loose handlebar tape, or anything else even the slightest bit out of true, plumb, and square, dial 911 immediately and get an ambulance there post haste. Some sort of major wreck has occured, and not so long before that very moment. | |
| 1152 | 5/21/2007 11:23:00 AM | Catskill John | Furmans Glade Hill Road. 1.9 mile mecca for serious climbers. Right here in Happyville (Grahamsville). Google "Glade Hill Road." Strong men weap at the thought of it. Dudley Do Right tasted a quarter mile of it. It's right here for the testing. Only the big boys and girls can do this one quickly. | EXTRA
LINK... | Another hill. Who cares. | |
| 1151 | 5/21/2007 10:15:00 AM | FG | What is this Furman's Glade you speak of? | | Read all about it in Chuckie's Mission. It includes a description of the 40 mile warmup then 40 mile cool down loop that goes along with it. BTW: Nice tactical ruse, pretending not to know perfectly well what Furman's Glade means. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1150 | 5/21/2007 12:17:00 AM | FG | Glad you didn't wait 'till tomorrow to post the Chuckie update…I would have given my left testicle (theoretically, of course) to see Chuckie descend from the mist, only to accost one of the biggest MoFo's in spandex that I've ever seen! And Zirra's comeback was priceless. | | Actually, that comeback will cost Zirra plenty. I wouldn't be surprised if Chuckie decides it would be neighborly to take him on a Mission and show him Furman's Glade. | |
| 1149 | 5/20/2007 11:53:00 PM | ARC Staff | Cranky has regained ownership of her Winter Hump T-shirt in no uncertain terms. | | That motherfucker Dr. Artie Art, on the other hand, could have had the manners to phone somebody. We did Eagle's Nest, Guymard, Mountain Road, and 211, all without him. Pretty the fuck lonley if you ask me. Not that that asshole gives a shit. See if we ever invite him on a Mission! | |
| 1148 | 5/20/2007 10:42:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Morels are simmering and vino rojo breathing. Another Dr. Artie Art sighting. This time on Rt 1 Piney Island with white handlebar tape moving in the breeze on an afternoon ride.
Glad to see ya'll got Terry out of the house. Love the glasses. | | What is this, some kind of feel good website? Go put on the Food Network if you want to talk about that shit. | |
| 1147 | 5/20/2007 11:50:00 AM | FG | ...mmmm...Ridgebury pudding... | | Goes good with morel tendergroin and cowboy caviar. | |
| 1146 | 5/20/2007 11:48:00 AM | FG | Cranky, the last time I ate something growing in my back yard, I woke up three days later in Tijuana, with the realization that I had pissed myself. So I'll have to pass on the Morels, but thanks anyhow. | | Think it was hard on you? How do you think that guy growing in your back yard felt about the whole affair? | |
| 1145 | 5/20/2007 10:49:00 AM | ARC Staff | Twin Lynn, some woman was at the Hump yesterday asking a bunch of questions about you and taking notes. We all said we never heard of you. | | We also took up a collection for your bus ticket outa town. Cheap bastards would only pay for one way. | |
| 1144 | 5/20/2007 10:02:00 AM | Palletman | Hey baby, I'll take some of those Moorel's...they have the same effect on me as a hit of X. SlingShot, I need your help here. I always get confused with effect and affect. Did I use it properly here? Please advise. | | If you would just stop all your shit, it would affect a change in my attitude and that would effectively improve the situation overall. In any case, your usage was correct. | |
| 1143 | 5/20/2007 1:03:00 AM | ARC Staff | 'shrooms at Cranky's house! | | Somebody bring the lava lamp! | |
| 1142 | 5/20/2007 12:54:00 AM | Princes Cranky Pea | They are a mushroom delicacy. Cannot be farm raised. Go for big bucks at markets b/c their season is approx 2 weeks of the year.
Dr. Art sighting tonite. Catherine's, Goshen | | Cranky, are you trying to give me poison mushrooms? BTW: Was Dr. Art still trying to get away from Iron Mike? | |
| 1141 | 5/19/2007 9:48:00 PM | FG | OK, WTF is a morel?!? This isn't gonna turn into another Rocky Mountain Oyster joke, is it? | | Probably. | |
| 1140 | 5/19/2007 9:44:00 PM | FG | SlingShot, I see you have met TP, the budding TH-R reporter. Take it from me. You DO NOT want to talk her into getting another road bike, unless you want to be found mid-way up Ridgebury, curled up in the gutter, sucking your thumb like a 'lil baby, just to have her return and ask "Wanna go another round, big boy?" She is a natural athlete. Her last marathon was somewhere in the 3:40 range and that was with minimal training from what I heard. Last year, I talked her into getting a mountain bike, and in her first ride at Stewart State Forest with the crew from Dark Horse, she managed to keep the front pack of riders in sight the entire ride. Not an easy task, given the caliber of riders present that evening. She is VERY competitive, and judging by the way you half-jokingly trash talk other riders here at ARC, you just may be biting off a bit more than you can chew. A word of wisdom, my friend… be careful where you throw down that gauntlet, as it may ricochet. You have been warned… just don't piss her off. | | Half-jokingly? I hate the motherfuckers—and your little friend TP too. I saw immediately that she was an athlete; but the proof, as they say, is in the Ridgebury pudding. Bring it on. I got your gauntlet right here… OUCH! My eye! What's TP stand for anyway? Tired Poker? | |
| 1139 | 5/19/2007 9:06:00 PM | Catskill John | Princess Cranky Pea, I like your attitude about kicking ass. I tried it today, on
Ridgebury with the double As. They kicked my ass but good. Oh well. my
dreams of making it up that hill with that group—dashed again. I'm willing to
try one more time. Maybe I need new equipment. | | Sure you need new equipment. From the tip of your toes to the top of your
head. | |
| 1138 | 5/19/2007 6:59:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Slingshot - that was really great how you took that uphill after the Tour De France turn on 62 today. | | Yes, it was. I only did it so I could stay in the ride and watch you kick those sorry ass losers ass's up Hard Core Hill at the end. Don't tell Mother Folkl about the Camel Farm Hill, which is also called Chow Hill, not to be confused with Dog Hill. Last time I did that, I was right on his wheel, and he didn't even know it. I'm thinking Thursday, it will finally be time to come out of the closet, so to speak, and drop Mother's ass for good and for sure. As an aside, maybe we can get Twin Lynn to have that reporter lady buy a bike and come back. That way, if the article sucks we can kick her ass; and, if the article is great, we can kick her ass. | |
| 1137 | 5/19/2007 6:58:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Anybody like Morels? Some really enormous morels are up in my yard. I just picked two bowls of them. If anyone likes them I'll bring some in a cooler to Washintonville ride tomorrow and/or drop them to you. That might mean you'd have to have a special someone with some culinary skills cook you up a nice morel sauce for dinner tomorrow night. | | Never heard of 'em. Ain't got the foggiest who would cook them. Wouldn't eat them if they did. | |
| 1136 | 5/18/2007 8:20:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | That could be a problem. The T-shirt is getting a lot of use and will only fit certain individuals. I will attempt redemption tomorrow, barring rain. | | And you of all people expect me to do the SlingShotting here? | |
| 1135 | 5/18/2007 5:58:00 PM | ARC Staff | To Our Dearest Prnicess Cranky Pea: you will be required to relinquish your Winter Hump T-Shirt. It will be re-gifted accordingly. | | Apparently Cranky shines more brightly in a non-competitive environment. | |
| 1134 | 5/18/2007 5:18:00 PM | Catskill John | Things are really looking up. My own personal input form bestowed on me by the great SlingShot. | | You knucklehead. You only got that so that I can beat up on you later. | |
| 1131 | 5/17/2007 10:45:00 PM | SlingShot | I am stoked. I got to see Patrick during the ride tonight. Man, am I ridin' good or what?! | | And how does that match up with your melancholia regarding this is probably the last time you will be anywhere near him on a ride until next spring? | |
| 1130 | 5/17/2007 1:24:00 PM | Catskill John | Ahhh! A posting about me on American Road Cycling. My 30 seconds of fame. Palletman made my day. | | If you think this is going to stop after just 30 seconds, you haven't been paying attention. | |
| 1129 | 5/17/2007 2:26:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Ha! And Ka Ka has no one to blame but himself. 2006 pre-Mallorca ride: 'Hey Dan, you'd be a really good rider if you lost 20lbs'.
(period on outside British style) | | I got your 20lbs right here....or in Cranky's seat post. | |
| 1128 | 5/16/2007 11:24:00 AM | Palletman | SlingShot, in an effort to increase viewer enjoyment of the ARC site could you work on getting the inserts that pop up on pictures to display a little longer. Especially when using a language other than English. It is very distracting. | | You'll have to speak with Microsoft about that. Older browsers would display that pop-up text as long as you left your pointer on it. I'm not sure about the logic behind making it disappear just before you can read it. Drives me nuts as well. The trick to reading long ones is to pull your pointer over another link with a pop-up and come right back. In the case of today's article, pull up to Art's photo then back to Kaka. Actually, you don't need to read it for content. It is just the standard selection for beginner voice students. Musicians generally know it on sight. It was even in a Seinfeld episode. On the other hand, the goal has always been to reduce viewer enjoyment in the hopes I can shut this puppy down. However, if I did that, I would not be able to report such things as this "best quote of the day" from Petie KaKa yesterday, "I knew there was going to be trouble when I showed up for the club ride, and Dan McNeilly was there looking like an Auschwitz prisoner." | |
| 1127 | 5/14/2007 2:35:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Thank you, Caliper Girl. Thank you, Cranky… Wait a minute, Cranky, "like father, like son"? What kind of a compliment is that? Hey!!! | | With compliments like that, who needs insults? | |
| 1126 | 5/13/2007 10:48:00 PM | Palletman | Flash: Terry "The Bull" Bowden went down today on Pines Hill Road in Sugar Loaf on the ride from Joe-Fix-It's. Terry was taken to St. Agony's Hospital in Warwick. His confirmed injuries include a fractured collar bone in three places as well as multiple road rash injuries. After several Percocet's and a few cold beers, Terry seems to be in good spirits (at least as long as he's high on the Percocet's that is). Our best wish's to the "Bull." | | Why are you posting this here? The only people who read this site are you and Terry "The Bull" Bowden himself. Obviously, you know about it, and we're guessing Terry will probably find out about it on his own. Oh, wait a minute. There is Cranky, and also Toe Clip, but it's unlcear if they can even read. Most likely, Mother Folkl has already brought him cookies, and Bianchi is preparing an OCBC tag to plastic-tie to his sling. Rob Daly has undoubtedly got a speech prepared for next week's Hump, and The Black Widow is marking Terry off her hit list. FG must still be Frank Guarnuccio, while a whole lot of other people have temporarily moved up a spot in the rankings. Otherwise, Palletman, you might make better use of your time here by suggesting to Terry that if he's going to do shit like this, he may as well just start racing. | |
| 1125 | 5/13/2007 10:16:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Toe Clipper, That's ok. Like father like son with the long posts. Loved your sky poop reference. | | You would. | |
| 1124 | 5/13/2007 4:03:00 PM | CaliperGirl | I didn't think it was too long. I liked it. | | You would. | |
| 1123 | 5/13/2007 11:50:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Here's a quick and easy race report from the Brooklyn front…With the exception of the womens' field, The Big Apple Classic had a large turnout for each categorie..teams were well represented in all but the Cat 5 race , though there were even a couple of teams working together in the 5's race…this writer was the sole rep from OCBC; also saw one racer from that designer team that will remain unnamed, and there were none from that sky poop team also unnamed. The course was fast with a 200 yard long bump that the organizers referred to as a hill.
The Cat 5 race was full to the 50 field capacity. The race pace itself was respectable. The group as a whole was safe and quick to chide those in need of a quick talking to.
Maintaining good position pretty much throughout the race, all was well for this racer, until right before the last lap: A FLAT!!! Called like "Eject…Eject…Eject."
This race was over for the sole racer from OCBC (at that point postioned well in the front) who walked back the quarter mile to the finish and got to see the finish of my race as well as all the others from the sideline….
After the race, I had enough energy to go up to Central Park and train a bit and take in the sights.
I will be back in Brooklyn for the second in this series: Saturday,June 16 and really hope we can get riders from OCBC....
Happy Mothers Day!!!! | | What a long-winded post. What the hell is wrong with you? Get a life!!! | |
| 1120 | 5/12/2007 10:32:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | From today's pics, I see Slingshot finally reunited with his twin brother… Finiky Finnegan | | Yes. One would not have imagined that just a few more moments coming down the tubes would have so distressed a person's physical appearance. Be sure to say hi to your uncle for me, if you see him. | |
| 1119 | 5/12/2007 8:44:00 PM | ARC Staff | Super top secret ride from Paul's tomorrow morning. Starts at 9:00 am unless too cold then 10:00, or phone Paul to confirm time. Mary just mentioned that General G Douglas Allen will attend, and she said it like that's a good thing. Everybody come, and don't tell a soul. | EXTRA
LINK... | | |
| 1118 | 5/12/2007 1:12:00 AM | ARC Staff | Extra thanks to Turtle Boy for pulling Poor Levine over to the proper page. | | It's a good thing that at least somebody in that development can read. | |
| 1117 | 5/11/2007 1:57:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | RE: Tomorrow's hammerfest down in Brooklyn: Thanks for the direct link… Now, if there were some brave soles at OCBC, ARC, or racers from those other teams (whose names won't be mentioned here) who would step up and brave the city for some serious competition, we'd have a real slugfest going on. I did see one listed racer from one of those teams whose name will still not be mentioned. I think I'm gonna freak everybody out and show up with toe clips attached. Maybe I'll wear cargo shorts and a heavy grey sweatshirt—cutoff at the sleeves. That'll really unnerve them...… | | Name them… name them! | |
| 1115 | 5/11/2007 10:31:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | WHAT! Shutdown for the summer? Who are Palletman and I going to ramble on to? What about the doughnuts? What about rollovers and impersonations? Not only that, less time for Slingshot at the keyboard means more time on the road to hassle us up hills. | | I've got to take off a few dozen lbs. Guess I'll have to keep things going here just a little longer though, because I just thought of one final thing. BTW: Cranky, thanks for not showing up last night. Made the Widow's work easier. She got in the car saying, "Ok, tonight I've got to make sure not to take any pictures of Mary Beth. The photo pages are starting to look like "The Cranky Show." | |
| 1114 | 5/11/2007 1:08:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Throwing this out to the ARC membership: there's a race Saturday morning down in Broken Down Brooklyn…called the Big Apple Something or other…Cat 5 race is dedicated and short (only 17 miles), Cat 4 is 31 miles, Cat 3 and above, find out for yourselves…Any Takers? If it means anything, I hear the competition is fierce...... | | Tracked down the link for you, Clip. Hope this makes up for my going to bed at 9:00 last night…due to all the fucking hills Palletman made me climb. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1112 | 5/9/2007 11:54:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Ooops....I ate them all. | | All what? | |
| 1111 | 5/9/2007 6:50:00 PM | Nuclear Dan | Haven't seen 'em. | | Just as I thought. Nobody has said a word about doughnuts. | |
| 1110 | 5/9/2007 3:26:00 PM | ARC Staff | Somebody tell Nuclear Dan Buckley that his boss phoned to complain. Apparently, Dan has been leaving ARC pages open on his computer while he does other things. His fellow workers are being distracted. | | Dan, do you have FG's doughnuts? | |
| 1109 | 5/9/2007 12:59:00 PM | FG | ...oh, YES I DID... it's right there... SEE? | | No. | |
| 1108 | 5/9/2007 10:21:00 AM | FG | ...I think I did... | | No. You didn't. | |
| 1107 | 5/9/2007 12:40:00 AM | FG | ...did I hear someone say doughnuts...? | | No. | |
| 1106 | 5/9/2007 12:20:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Wow Slingshot. Lynn will like that picture from the vault. I'm thinking you deserved two Serotta's for getting to your goal weight from that picture. Oh, and who is the guy feeding you the doughnut? | | I don't remember his name. We rented him to keep The Black Widow off my back. He never was any good at it. | |
| 1105 | 5/8/2007 8:22:00 PM | Jean-Claude Smmoot | How about a Caption Contest, starting with the semi-flattering, flaccid-penis inducing photo of Pink Floyd Landis on the homepage? Thanks, it IS a good idea.. how about this? "PAY YOUR MOTHER-FUCKING BILL OR ELSE I'LL SNAP YOUR NECK LIKE THE TWIG THAT IT IS!!" | | The contest is now up and running. Thanks for the tip Jean-Claude. | |
| 1104 | 5/8/2007 7:23:00 PM | Palletman | No way that guy sneering at the kid with the Johhny Depp-like mannerisms is none other than the former Slingshot!...What did they call him before he lost the duece and a half? | | If you think that was bad, take a look at this. ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1100 | 5/6/2007 3:07:00 PM | SlingShot | I must apologize to Palletman, because I broke my promise to provide details about yesterday's Century during this morning's "Cool Kids" ride. At least he got to see the roots of ARC in action. Today's rules, as explained to P'man before the ride began were, "If you want to continue to ride with the Cool Kids, you have to follow the rules, which are, Paul makes the rules." The main goal of this sort of ride is to allow Paul to continue feeling that he is a strong rider. While everybody lets Paul jump ahead on the tough climbs, my job is to stay on his wheel, so when he looks back at the top, I'm right there smiling back to remind him that everybody else (way back down the hill) is just spinning easy and chatting. Unfortunately, I got involved in doing my job and forgot to give Centruy details. On the good side, at least Poppie got to see me achieve a group record of 4 cracks at the end of the ride. Otherwise, Palletman did a very good job of not fucking things up by triggering an explosion of attacks…at least until SlingShot was already gone up in flames. Just remember Dan, you are hurting no one but myself. | | Ya think Palletman was at all surprised to find his "teammates" quite willing to swill his blood outside a marshalled event? | |
| 1098 | 5/5/2007 8:32:00 PM | Palletman | Well? We are on the edge of our seats here. Did you average 20 mph? Inquiring minds would like to know. | | Palletman, have you lost your fucking mind? If the outlaws don't get outa Dodge, we'll see you in the morning with details. | |
| 1097 | 5/5/2007 12:18:00 AM | Twin Lynn | Slingshot, please give us more tidbits from the Vault of Bobby Bones. | | Are we getting a little jealous of all the attention being paid to Pansy Kangaroo? No? I know. You probably want to hear how I ended up finishing with the front group on Thursday. Ok. I'll write about it later. But here's a little hint: The Bicycle Doctor is much like Dr. Artie Art. He knows just when and where to push. Tom Folkl also had a hand in it. Plus it pays to know the course. Enough said for now. I've got a Century in the morning. Oh, wait a minute. You mean the old stuff. What's the matter? Can't click your mouse? BTW: We tied the record 23 today, plus a bunch of new people who may eventually make it to UV status. | |
| 1096 | 5/4/2007 11:26:00 PM | ARC Staff | The Hump starts at 8:30 am tomorrow! | | Thanks to a tip from Paul Levine who believes kissing up is going to save his ass. Not likely. | |
| 1095 | 5/4/2007 6:53:00 PM | ARC Staff | Princess Hokey Pokey Porker, It appears you have thus far missed the three photos published from the Trail Side ride. Looks like putting the link in big bold letters and as the top article on the home page just wasn't enough of a prompting. | | Get off Preakness Hefty Hinky Haunches' back, you assholes. | |
| 1094 | 5/4/2007 10:02:00 AM | FG | Slingshot's always looking out for us readers by changing the home page the night before, so we have something new to read in the morning...with the newspaper not here yet, I need something to take into the john with me! | | It is exciting to know that people have finally found a use for the ARC website, but the picture of you wiping your ass with a computer monitor is one I hope to soon forget. | |
| 1093 | 5/3/2007 10:35:00 AM | FG | Princess Hanky Panky Pea: I see that the bike in the photo is leaning AWAY from SlingShot, and seems to be sweating...seems to have gotten a bit too close to that smelly jersey! | | That might explain the quintupled attack. It wasn't an attack. It was a pursued retreat. Still, I felt like I was up a creek without a crank. | |
| 1092 | 5/3/2007 10:27:00 AM | Princess Creeky Crackey Crikey Kinky Cranky Pea | Slingshot - If you had just gotten off my wheel the first time instead of hanging on there like a gnat, I wouldn't have had to attack 5 times. With a performance like that it is clear that you absolutely DO weigh LESS than Petie Ka Ka, scale or no scale! | | Little late to be kissin' up. That move had the stench of Louie all over it. Here's a link to Louie-ville and a variation on that theme in the year 2000. Start at column two, paragraph 3. You might confirm with Lynn the other guy's name was "Mac," because he had one, not "Matt," because I am deaf. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1091 | 5/3/2007 9:57:00 AM | Nuclear Dan | The gnarled and weathered tree flowing into the frame from the left, counterbalanced by the cold and empty blue sky on the right. The wind swept trees inviting your imagination into the poignant and desolate background. The Van Gogh hills on the right. Your Zen-like lack of expression which might be a yawn or a deeply disturbed pallor of rage. And that singular lone power line.
WHAT?
Blaster says - "If SlingSHOT talks like that during the century ride this weekend, I'll be forced to drop him"
| | You haven't posted in awhile, Dan, so you missed the new policy about using correct grammar. Your final line should be corrected to read, "…I'll be forced to TRY to drop him." | |
| 1090 | 5/3/2007 2:53:00 AM | ARC Staff | JEEESUS, Palletman. See what you did with just one nom spelling slip? | | | |
| 1089 | 5/3/2007 1:13:00 AM | Princess Kinky Cranky Pea | Careful what you wish for FG. Your bike is in the Kissing Slingshot photo. How's that make you feel? | | Watch it, Lynn. You have been warned about pretending to be Guarnuccio. Why do you continue believing just any old anybody is allowed to post for Cranky. What is this some sort of girl power sisterhood nonsense? | |
| 1088 | 5/3/2007 12:12:00 AM | Princess Cranky Hanky Panky | C'mon Slingshot, you liked getting double-teamed. Photo! Photo! Photo! | | Watch it, Guarnuccio. You have been warned about pretending to be Cranky. Who told you about any photo? | |
| 1087 | 5/2/2007 10:32:00 PM | SlingShot | Whoever heard of anybody attacking five (5) times on such a little hill. If I ever see that scum bucket Louie again, I'm going to smack him upside his head. Pincers Craggy Pear acts like she's been hanging out with cyclists. | | Making people work hard in a spin class is totally acceptable. Teaching them to be cagey bikers is not. She even pulled the Paul Levine patented: "move way over to the left after the climb so nobody can hear you breathing" maneuver. And her smart ass bitch friend Twin Lynn sure didn't help tame the situation down any. Shit, she spent the whole ride working for Clepto like her fucking brother works for Levine. I hate getting double-teamed. I begged (actually got off my bike and pleaded) for Scott to stay in the ride and not leave me with those two, but he mumbled something about darkness coming and slipped off to go home. Do you realize what this is going to cost me in therapy fees. "I am a little slow…but that's ok." | |
| 1086 | 5/2/2007 10:29:00 PM | ARC Staff | From what we heard, Princess Kinky Pee kicked your ass on Demarest. | | | |
| 1085 | 5/2/2007 10:28:00 PM | SlingShot | Croaky, FG called. He wants his excuses back. | | | |
| 1084 | 5/2/2007 10:03:00 PM | Palletman | Looks like Princess Crankey Pea, or whatever she is called, is hooked, SlingShot. She has nine posts in the last week to my three (this one will be four) posts. Looks like great weather tomorrow for the Trailside Pub Ride...hope you can make it. | | | |
| 1083 | 5/2/2007 7:41:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Actually, after Hatchet Lady told him off, followed by a Mother Folkl stern talking to, he calmed a bit. Also evidenced on Sunday (hint). | | If we had ever been here before, we would probably know just what to do, and this would be déjà vu. | |
| 1082 | 5/2/2007 10:22:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Petie Ka Ka sighting. For more details show up Saturday and pull. | | We'll have to send somebody over there. SlingShot will be getting his ass kicked on the Farmlands Flat Tour Century this Saturday. BTW: Petie is seen riding by ARC central just about every morning. Plus he'll stop by and chat sometimes. SlingShot is getting a little worried, because he actually finds Petie enjoyably civil. Must be just compared to SlingShot himself. | |
| 1081 | 5/2/2007 3:02:00 AM | ARC Staff | Another record attendance yesterday: 24 | | And your point is? | |
| 1080 | 5/1/2007 10:28:00 PM | FG | Cranky, I hope you saved a doughnut for me! | | Cranky has been upgraded to Crakey, Creeky, or Crikey. If she keeps eatin' those doughnuts, she'll make it to Chunky, and we'll call her Clunky. | |
| 1079 | 5/1/2007 3:38:00 PM | Catskill John | Yes, Lynn Twin, Catskill John and Sullivan County John are one and the same. I'm up in Schuyler County, NY for job related training. Took my bike. Lots of hills to climb here too. | | Once we confirm contact info, we may have to give this guy an input form. | |
| 1078 | 5/1/2007 12:39:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Yeah if we ran our legs as much as we run our mouths we might actually get somewhere. There are two donuts left. Pallet can have one for winning his race. Slingshot can have the other one if he can sneak it without getting caught by the Blair Widder. | | The only thing left of the last person who offered me a doughnut is a tiny shriveled up little head swinging off the front of the Widder's broom like furry dice hanging from the rear view of a '57 Chevy. Been nice knowin' ya' Creeky! | |
| 1077 | 4/30/2007 11:35:00 PM | ARC Staff | Do any of you even ride your bikes anymore? | | Apparently, Palletman does. The others are too busy looking at SlingShot's favorite brand of doughnuts. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1076 | 4/30/2007 9:52:00 PM | Palletman | Yo, Slingshot, clean up my last post. I don't want the Princess to think I'm some kind of Putz. | | Slingshot is tied up right now. He should never have showed me how this works… No soup for you, little man. And Cranky, stop sucking up to P'man. I think I'm gonna puke. -The Widow Noire | |
| 1075 | 4/30/2007 9:50:00 PM | Palletman | To: Princess Crakey Pea,
Nice donuts.
Can I have one? | | Crikey! I take a fucking nap, and the fucking Widstress is answering the fucking Chatter for me. I would love to help you out on this one P'man, but then my answer to this post and the Widder's answer to the next one won't make any sense. I don't mind making mince meat of our Lady of the Holy Noire, but I sure as shit ain't going to give up a perfectly good opportunity to say, "Crikey!" In any case, I'm not even going to answer Crikey Piss's last post, 'cause SlingShot don't fuck wid' no race results. Oh, wow… Bill, pass me that splif. I'm going back to bed. [WARNING: All characters in this post do not represent real people in any way. Everything here is meant for entertainment purposes only. American Road Cycling in no way means to imply that Bill Perry may be some sort of wasted drug addict just because he plays his guitar so fucking well. Whfup… Jeeesus! This is some wicked ass good shit! Phluhaaaah.] | |
| 1074 | 4/30/2007 8:39:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | 2 comments: 1) Catskill's got math skills! 2) Now I'm even more impressed that Pallet won CAT 4/5. My incorrect assumption was that he won CAT 5. Dan Dan he's our man; he rides faster than the others can!! | | | |
| 1073 | 4/30/2007 8:30:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Slingshot, some questions for you. Are Catskill John and Sullivan County John one in the same? Do you actually talk to Bill Perry, or just eavesdrop on him? I remember you saying you haven't talked to any neighbors in twenty years, hence that question. And if the answer to the second question is YES, then my follow-up question is: does Bill Perry converse back, or does he just have a real anxious look on his face and escape as fast as he can? | | 1) How the fuck would I know? 2) We grunt at each other in passing, but I try not to be passing anybody. If asked, Bill would be hard pressed to say if he even knows who the fuck I am. In any case, he's been around here a lot longer than 20 years. I may have spoken to him in the past. Now I just sit by the window when he's playing. 3) Sorry, I did not see your third question till I answered the other two. I have never seen Bill's face. I have a low grade autisim and can only look at the ground. | |
| 1072 | 4/30/2007 2:46:00 PM | Palletman | Jeez, perhaps if you put me on the ARC payroll I could get the fucking details for you. In the meantime, it is what it is. I've been testing you to see if you catch all the mistakes. You're doing ok. try bikereg.com to get race flyers etc. | | I'm not trying it. Let somebody who cares try it. My neighbor is Bill Perry. He is what those of us in the music business call "the real deal." Today he is practicing his guitar, so I'm listening. Probably should go over and pay for the concert, but I'm not. | |
| 1071 | 4/30/2007 2:41:00 PM | ARC Staff | Hey, McNeilly, you putz: Double check your race results. SlingShot made some minor edits which may change the meaning but he thinks not. | | No...he knows not. | |
| 1070 | 4/30/2007 11:48:00 AM | Catskill John | I must take issue with Nuclear Dan's take on my age. It is actually 2 to the fifth power plus 28. We did have a great ride on Saturday. Congradulations to Palletman! | | Hmm…Catskill, you are (or at least the computer you used is) UV100. Very clever, establishing a carefully calculated 3x presence and grabbing a coveted number before revealing your identity. Must be pretty exciting for you. Please excuse Nuclear for the age error. He's getting a little senile and can't get his number straight anymore. | |
| 1069 | 4/30/2007 12:38:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | WAHOOOOOOOO Palletman!!! Way to go Poppi! | | Even SlingShot is observing a moment of silence. | |
| 1068 | 4/29/2007 9:10:00 AM | ARC Staff | We did it! Twenty one (21) viewers yesterday. SlingShot woke up this morning to find UV97 had hit the site after bedtime. The bad news is, UV97 missed all the Hump stuff, because it had already been moved back to the Old New's page. Unless of course UV97 is just another Toe Clip IP#, but then we are only doing the best we can with this tracking stuff. | | I'd like to thank the Academy, all our Sponsors (NOT), my friends and family, The Bicycle Doctor, Donkey Kong, the Coka-Cola Bottling Company… | |
| 1067 | 4/29/2007 1:54:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | As far as the 50 miler tomorrow, definitely wouldn't mind riding with the scrappy Slingshot, OCBC, Donna Karan/Signature Cycles lot, but I have to tend to soccer in the morning, then again in the afternoon. Then, if I have daylight when I'm done, I'll go do a training ride. How's that for an excuse? | | Pretty clever. You probably had a lot of time to think it up while pulling Nuclear Dan all over OC. In any case, you'll have to tender a separate excuse to OCBC. That's a whole 'nother ride. At least me an' the Widder won't have to continue explaining to Dan Buckley, "Toe Clip's the guy Mary yelled at his first day out when he slowed up before pulling off. You will really want to ride with him. He is strong." We only went through that routine a few hundred times last winter, this spring. Now we're going to have to put up with an endless line of questioning about, "When will Toe Clip be here? Is Toe Clip coming?" BTW: There's a Century next Saturday, if you've never done a 100 miler before. Need a ride? | |
| 1066 | 4/29/2007 1:36:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Here's your perfect attendance RIGHT HERE!!! | | Hmm. New IP# for you, so you've already been here today. Let me pull out the logs to confirm…tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock…checks out. That ties our previous personal best of 04/12/07 with 20 readers. If Palletman gets back from the race and checks in, it will be a NEW PERSONAL BEST for ARC. | |
| 1065 | 4/29/2007 1:03:00 AM | ARC Staff | When Toe Clip shows up, we will tie our record for a single day's attendance. Nuclear Dan is counting on Toe's arrival in order for his major pull-me-again-this-time-longer major kiss-up to start doing its magic. | | BTW: Toe Clip, we just found out we are doing the same 50 mile ride you did with us before from Paul's. If you can make it, you can pull SlingShot for the whole ride. He promises. | |
| 1064 | 4/29/2007 12:29:00 AM | FG | "Trouble comes in all forms" (Edgar Friendly, Demolition Man)...be well, Simon Phoenix. | | Now you are scaring us. BTW: Your virus software continues to check only the first ARC page, then is allowing all other pages free-float back to your computer. | |
| 1063 | 4/27/2007 9:13:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | He he he .... | | Just a nice friendly little ride. BTW FG: You have not caused near enough trouble to warrant such a long absence. The Black Widow was getting all fidgety. Hmmm… maybe that was the intended trouble. | |
| 1062 | 4/27/2007 7:54:00 PM | FG | Cranky, we are definitely cut from the same cloth... get everyone fired up, start trouble, then LEAVE! You have some doughnuts coming your way! | | | |
| 1061 | 4/27/2007 11:28:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Princess Cranky Pea: I would assure you, had I known it was you back there struggling to bridge up, I would've no doubt backed off a little bit and let you bridge. We could've worked like a team. At the very least, I wouldn't have ridden the extra 6 miles alone—chasing no one! Frankly, all along I thought…I thought...I thought IT WAS SLINGSHOT! | | Ok! Now you're talkin'. You are my favorite son again. Even though your willingness to wait for Cranky does put in question whether or not we are even related. We'll just have to wait for the DNA. Who's your SlingShot?! | |
| 1060 | 4/27/2007 10:41:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Hide in a corner and deflect attention! By the way, your photo is very nice! You made it to the picture page. | | You'd better be kissin up to PAR. At least until she gets a nom she won't like. BTW: Parveen and Mother Folkl now have their own personal Chatter Box input forms. That means they are fully qualified to post using their own names or anybody else's. This is the Internet after all. | |
| 1059 | 4/27/2007 10:26:00 AM | Parveen | Got the impression I should check out your website after a quick but revealing comment made by a fellow rider. This is the real Parveen…she does exist, and that's PAR. Don't know if I should be laughing with you or hiding in a corner somewhere. | | Palletman is President in charge of facing the corner. You, on the other hand get high marks for the most grammatically correct post ever placed in the Chatter Box. Here's the quick review. Way back when, you filled out a Membership Form. At about the same time somebody started screwin' with the Chatter Box by having a few friends post the same "Guesse Who" comments from different computers all over the place. SlingShot was already freaked out that somebody might have gone to all the trouble to fill out a form who didn't realize the level of bullshit this site represents. Then a bunch of other posts appeared to be from the same "screwin' with us" source. Finally, we got a post using your name, saying you noticed somebody had used your name, so I removed your name from publication. Almost immediately after that, Tom Folkl (UV50 at that time) wrote in the Chatter Box that he would join if we brought him some oranges from Florida. I thought his post came from the same "screwin' with us" source, so I shut the Chatter Box down. Turns out, Cranky had used your name to complain. She figured I made the name up, because I also use aliases: SlamCrank, CaliperGirl, ARC Staff, and some others. She posted her bogus PAR from a computer (therefore IP#) that was not her usual. In summary, the whole thing was Princess Cranky Pea's fault…just like everything else. We only wish we could have seen her face the first time you showed up for a ride and said, "Hi, I'm Parveen!" | |
| 1055 | 4/27/2007 1:36:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Great pics!! Nice to see you got the broken toes. What does one do when the boss doesn't let you work because you broke your toes? You go ride 20 miles like the wind. Maybe that is why they call Terry Bowden the Bull.
P.S.: Parveen is our own ARC model! | | I'm going to toggle your post off before The Black Widow sees it. Parveen might like stay on her good side for a second or two. | |
| 1054 | 4/27/2007 1:34:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Toe Clip - if you had just slowed for 50 yards you could have had two women pull you the whole ride. Instead, we watched your back for 20 miles! | | You didn't let the women pull you? You are no son of mine! | |
| 1053 | 4/27/2007 12:39:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | This Saturday, I think I'm gonna skip trying to hang on with the AA's. In fact, I think I'll try the Pokers for a change! I'm due for a quality recovery ride anyways! | | Sounds like a great idea, think I'll join you. You are my favorite son. | |
| 1052 | 4/25/2007 2:57:00 PM | SlamCrank | Hey, I found an error in the Strunk book. | | Yeah, we know. Don't tell P'man. It would shake his world. | |
| 1050 | 4/23/2007 12:36:00 AM | New Reader | I recently came across this site and have read it with much interest. My question is this: In what way is SlingShot any different from that campus shooter? | | In no way so far as we can tell. | |
| 1049 | 4/20/2007 11:16:00 PM | FG | Nice rant, P'Man...Henry Rollins' got nuthin' on you. | | SlingShot agrees and hops off across the stage bobbing his head up and down… after Tom Folkl tells him he is a rock star and may delare his living room a stage. | |
| 1048 | 4/20/2007 2:00:00 PM | Palletman | Fourth: SlingShot, stop trying to impress everyone by getting a few extra miles in by riding home. After the "Mary and I just did 40 miles" pre-ride line, everyone just rolled their eyes watching you ride away. | | Sorry. SlingShot is not currently available for comment. He is out on his bike. | |
| 1047 | 4/20/2007 1:38:00 PM | Palletman | Third: Everyone, please do not tell Slingshot when or if you have ever been on the ARC web site. Boy Scout Leader Tom Folkl last night revealed that he was UV-50. This so excited SlingShot that he pissed his pants causing an annoying swish, swishing sound throughout the ride. That, and again this makes me want to puke, SlingShot introduces Scout Leader Tom to the Black Widow,"Hey Mary, meet UV-50." Is this all you guys have to do all day! | | Yeah, more or less. That and changing SlingShot's diapers. | |
| 1046 | 4/20/2007 1:24:00 PM | Palletman | Second: Black Widow, when I'm on a ride with you, could you please refrain from giving details about how you and SlingShot met thirty years ago when you were moving into blah, blah, blah… I almost wanted to puke. And I don't care if it was in response to a direct question. Please remember the ARC motto "shut up and pull." | | Palletman, you know I'm not allowed to post in the ChatterBox. SlingShot says it's got something to do with my tendency to spill my guts at the slightest prompting. We'll have to continue this conversation on the next ride. Tell Folkl to bring his notebook. BTW: Did you plan on riding today after your fitting, or are you just going to spend the rest of the day looking in the mirror and complimenting yourself on finally looking correct on your bike. Additional BTW: Mary didn't write this. | |
| 1045 | 4/20/2007 11:18:00 AM | Palletman | There is so much BS going around here it's going to take multiple posts for me to vent it all out. First, SlingShot and Black Widow: if you think your little act of "Oh, Mary and I just rode 40 miles to warmup for the Trailside Pub Ride," and Mary saying, "Bob, I had 19.8 mph" to which SlingShot replies, "I had 20.1 mph on my computer," is even remotely believable you are sadly mis-taken. What you don't realize is that I pulled up in the parking lot as you were rolling out. More vents to follow. | | Whoops. Then you know we downgraded our speed for public consumption. How'd your little sprint at the end work out for you? Oh, I'm sorry. You never got to it. While we're here, could you clear up a term for us? BS. That stands for Biking Stories, doesn't it? As an aside: The Black Widow was noticing you might need a new saddle. She knows a lot about that sort of stuff. | |
| 1044 | 4/20/2007 1:39:00 AM | Pretty Boy | I am still unable to post. | | You are still too pretty. | |
| 1043 | 4/20/2007 1:19:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | FG's bike is hanging the laundry. My bike is the doughnut prop. So what's the weather for this Saturday? 52 degrees? 52.7 degrees? This damn pea is digging into my saddle. It'd better get up to 53 degrees. | | Hey, don't waste your time here. You are sorely missed over at ####. What's the matter? You afraid they might want you to ride? Weather dot com reports: 48° by 9:00 am Saturday, 45° with wind chill. So factoring in for the additional wind speed while you are riding, that adds up to… oh, that's right, there's barely any added wind speed for you on your bike going all out, so it'll still feel like 45°. In other words, it's a heat wave. Guess we'll see you in June when Handago starts showing up. | |
| 1042 | 4/20/2007 1:06:00 AM | ARC Staff | Will Cranky please report in over at the #### Trash Talk. Apparently that place is one dismal moonscape if Cranky ain't postin'. | | As far as is known, Cranky has hung up her bike for good. She's made a flower pot wall hanging out of it and uses it to dry her laundry. | |
| 1041 | 4/20/2007 12:51:00 AM | Turtle Boy | Paul might be away, so this Sunday's ride (10am, 4hrs, San Remo, Harriman) with Zirra can start at my house, since I live right across the street from Paul. There's pleny of room. Everybody can park in Paul's driveway. | EXTRA
LINK... | And don't forget: Sunday 29, 2007, Tom Folkl is leading ride from the Airplane Park in Monoe. 60 miles with Harriman, West Milford, etc. The Airplane park is on the north side of Goose Pond. You know, it's got that airplane in it. | |
| 1040 | 4/20/2007 12:19:00 AM | ARC Staff | The ARC Staff is happy to announce the Final Results for the 2007 #### Thursday Night Series. This evening Palletman was just edged out of the sprint win, and thus the series win, when Tom Folkl and SlingShot spotaneously proclaimed themselves Race Officials and immediately decreed the finish line to exist behind SlingShot's wheel. It was an obvious but inalterable move to gift the win to SlingShot when he inadvertently wandered toward the front near the end of the ride. Actually SlingShot was running scared from The Black Widow at the time and happened upon the end of the ride by accident. It was too bad too, because Palletman was just about to attack the final hill. Congratulations to SlingShot, and better luck next year to Palletman. Other results for this ride include The Black Widow's personal best of throwing up 5 times in her mouth during a single ride which clearly surpassed her past PB of 3 times. The Black Widow suggests that all young riders who might like to match her performance will find that taking of massive amounts of diuretics one hour before a ride really enhances one's ability to cramp up and puke. | | Kudos to Team Folkl for expanding and enhancing the standard "moving finish line" technique by ending the series on the very first ride of the year, and extra credit for calling the second ride of the year "Opening Day." | |
| 1039 | 4/18/2007 5:27:00 PM | ARC Staff | Here's a video sent in by The Angel (aka: Lugie Angel) which should get you out into Harriman via San Remo. It's called "Ride the Snake" and got The Black Widow quite excited. | EXTRA
LINK... | Ride it? I couldn't even look at it. | |
| 1038 | 4/18/2007 4:21:00 PM | Palletman | Now that Twin Lynn has thrown her hat (or should I say ass) into the ring, perhaps we should kick this competition up a notch or two. | | You might reconsider what you are asking for here. Ms. Potato Butt is very similar to the others menitoned, in that she routinely shows up for class in sunglasses and speaks to no one. All things considered, none of these people are to be trifled with. Be that as it may, your choice is ultimately your choice, while American Road Cycling will stand aside for better vantage. | |
| 1037 | 4/18/2007 12:59:00 PM | SlamCrank | So the Chatter Box has to be silent today? | | No way. Fuck that. Only the home page is silent. The motherfucking Chatter Box is the cocksucking Chatter box. | |
| 1036 | 4/18/2007 12:53:00 PM | CaliperGirl | What's with that drawing? | | That is just a drawing done by a little girl who was waiting with Mary while her mother talked to SlingShot. Mary tacked it up in the little room beside her desk and has enjoyed it everyday since 1994. After all, it shows most of Mary's favorite things: sun, and a little girl on her horse. The drawing has been a constant inspiration for Mary, but we never saw much of the artist after she moved away to Westtown. Most recently we heard she was a sophomore at Virginia Tech. | |
| 1035 | 4/18/2007 4:16:00 AM | ARC Staff | Unbelievably, late night website access logs showed somebody got here with a google search for "Nappy headed ho's," so now we are really pissed off. They only got to see the apology to Essence's gramma, not the full story meant to incite a riot. We are in a constant struggle: attempting to defame and offend those who deserve it, and treat others with respect. Sorry to Essence's gam, and sorry that whomever else would wish the term would go away, didn't get to see it used here again, and again, and again. | | Looks like SlingShot's control of Google has finally gotten too good for his own good. He just can't win. | |
| 1034 | 4/18/2007 2:46:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | The man behind the curtain quit on us anyway today, so lets see what kind of trouble we can get in without him. Maybe he didn't quit, but went to see Essence' grandmother to plead his case about our true feelings about her granddaughter Essence. Either that or the right-wing racists kidnapped him to tape his outtake for Bill's next broadcast. Slingshot, if you need help send out smoke signals made of ............. doughnuts. | | Just working on a big project that might be able to automate all SlingShot processes and obsolete his ass. I'd let you look at the work in progress, but it's a long motherfucker, and I'm sure to get only one shot at anybody actually reading it. In any case, the Black Widow is in charge of all smoke signals around here. Unfortunately, they are never based on doughnuts. She is right now in the bedroom asleep but still sending out signals based on the usual broccoli and milk products interacting with severe IBS. I'm starting to get used to it. Passers by may not. | |
| 1033 | 4/17/2007 11:05:00 PM | FG | Next thing you know, SlingShot'll be swingin'. | | Could his fruit be not stranger? | |
| 1032 | 4/17/2007 9:47:00 PM | Twin Lynn | I'm already mad at Palletman because I didn't even get an honorable mention in the WHOSE ASS IS HOTTER competition. Now I know how Miss Idaho feels-- always 49th runner up. Attn Cranky: avoiding commas and quotations ain't that hard to do and it keeps the Great Oz off your back. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. | | I got your curtain...right here swingin'. | |
| 1031 | 4/17/2007 9:39:00 PM | FG | ...there's an "s" missing somewhere in that tirade... | | I got your "s" right here swingin'. And I ain't puttin' it in for ya! Needer, needer, needer. In any case, I didn't agree with him, he agreed with me. | |
| 1030 | 4/17/2007 9:37:00 PM | FG | You better quit, you sellout! Agreeing with Bill "…oooh baby, that's it...you give such good phone bone..." O'Reilly, that bottom feeder eats his own droppings! How could you?!? And to think that I considered you my hero. I looked up to you, dammit! And what's this shit about no double pace after the end of a sentence? NEVER!! | | | |
| 1029 | 4/17/2007 9:05:00 PM | SlingShot | Well, nobody needs me here anymore. I quit. | | Me too. | |
| 1028 | 4/17/2007 8:40:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Clearly Poppi Pallet does not know that my name was changed, further giving away his faux post. Maybe there is some merit to this big brother tracking of IPs after all. Sorry Dan, no catfight this Saturday. Plus Blair Widow knows I am already very scared of her. That one eye from the film keeps cropping up in my nightmares.
Besides, you'll be so far out in front that you won't even know what's going on until you read ARC the next day. | | Yeah Dan, why don't you try to piss off Lynn now. Might as well have all three bitches mad at you. | |
| 1027 | 4/17/2007 6:13:00 PM | Cranky Mary Beth | Black Widow, I plan on riding the Hump on Saturday (the entire Hump). Ready to kick your butt! | | Oh, puhleeze! Toeclip, you think that's gonna get anything started? Cranky ain't comin' out. Her butt's too sore--even with 50 mattresses under it. | |
| 1026 | 4/17/2007 4:05:00 PM | Palletman | Punctuation marks, comma's, blah, blah, blah. We want to know what ARC members will be wearing this season. Nobody give's a hoot about punctuation. | | Oh…never mind. I can quit now. | |
| 1025 | 4/17/2007 2:32:00 PM | NEWSFLASH | Princess Cranky Pea forced into bankruptcy when her new Brit Bank mistakenly recorded her check book transfer of 33,000 dollars as 33.000 dollars. | | We hear it was not really an input error, but the Brit Bank's Afghani teller assumed Cranky's bare faced smiling "Hello" was a disrespectful hatcheting of what the teller new correctly should have been "Hola," so they switched the comma for the period on purpose. | |
| 1024 | 4/17/2007 1:47:00 PM | Palletman | Get us the "Style Guide" then quit. | | We're workin' on it. Actually, the style guide has already been published. It was just that little note about commas, quoations, spaces, and ellipses. The newer work is a procedural manual for self editing. It is non-technical, to the point, and useful. After it's publication everybody who talks about SlingShot will remark, "You know, he wrote the book on writing." Then I'm quitting for sure. | |
| 1023 | 4/17/2007 10:24:00 AM | Princess Cranky Pea | Thanks for the Wikipedia link. I like the British Standard. Also, this "no need to doublespace after sentence ending" guideline will make me nuts. I've been double spacing since the "ASDFJKL;" days of high school typing. It may even be an OCD thing. | | Don't worry about it. Let it go. The terr'ists have won. | |
| 1021 | 4/16/2007 10:21:00 PM | Palletman | Ya know, I'm not one to complain, but, if you hadn't noticed I've been logging on a few times a day now for the last several months. The reason for this is, I'm waiting for the "Style Guide" to get published. Do you know when we might see this published? Please advise. | | The style guide is being prepared. While you are waiting, use Dan Buckley as your model. See how stylish his jersey is? | |
| 1020 | 4/16/2007 7:12:00 PM | Paletman | And here I thought I wasn't put in originally because I was wearing the #### jersey. | | Oh, fuck. Hadn't noticed. We'll have to remove you. | |
| 1019 | 4/16/2007 12:55:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | I almost missed the complement made by the editor regarding my proper use of the contraction form of "I would"...Thank You, Professor Mudderfucker! | | That sounds dirty, but if I were not one, I would have "complimented" you, instead of adding to your words. That's just my angle, I suppose. | |
| 1018 | 4/16/2007 12:14:00 AM | ARC Staff | Here's a Wikipedia discussion of a further exception to the "comma within quotes" rule. It is very similar to our discussion of 'term', but is computer geek specific. Specifically, the comma would need to fall outside the quotation marks in such as the following: In the File name text field, type “HelloWorldApp.java”, including the quotation marks. ---> | EXTRA
LINK... | Serves to put us on notice regarding the newest British invasion, plus adds emphasis to the "comma within quotation marks" standard. | |
| 1017 | 4/15/2007 2:52:00 PM | Pretty Boy | How come I never post anything? | | You are too pretty. | |
| 1016 | 4/15/2007 2:21:00 PM | Nappy Headed Bro | SlingShot, keep this punctuation cramp going, for some reason it turns my wife on. She thought America was turning into a wasteland, now she is optimistic about our future. I don't really care about our future, just that it's turning her on! | | In a five man breakaway to take all the Bethel cheese, P'man came up a half wheel short, ending at 2nd for the race…AND FOR THE SERIES! Too bad the fucker can't write. He could tell us how he did it. I'd sure like to know the training secrets, and I wouldn't tell a soul. BTW P'man: It is likely not the punctuation turning your wife on but your "cramp." In any case, a few more years of increasingly impressive race results like today's, some intense academic work, lots of music training, an off-campus job or two, and you just might make it to Nappy Headed Hodum yet. Don't be upset if you never make it. Only the best of the best get there, and even then there's a little luck involved. | |
| 1015 | 4/15/2007 1:37:00 PM | Cranky Headed Ho | Professor, Thank you for the additional information. This will require re-reading several times with focused concentration. That will be difficult, as all I can think about now are the doughnuts you are going out to get. It's time to make a choice: doughnuts, or achieving Cranky Headed Hodum. | | Hodum doughnuts for now. Then eadum later. In the meantime, review the restriction on double spaces after sentence endings. | |
| 1014 | 4/15/2007 1:24:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | I'ld like to find out who spiked this guy's coffee. You know what? I think instead I'ld like to find out what was USED to spike that cup 'o 'jo. I bet we can team up and make a ton of money! But then again, it might start a frightening trend. You know what, forget about it… | | That's right motherfucker. Keep this shit to yourself. There'll be no making of money anywhere near this site. Well, maybe if it was a LOT of money…then I'd have to own up to the joy juice, which is merely left over glycogen still in store due to the rain. [BTW: Your "I'ld" contraction of "I would" is just the stuff we're looking for. It's so subtle that I almost edited it out.] | |
| 1013 | 4/15/2007 12:02:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | The comma inside throws me because the comma could potentially pause the entire phrase prior to the quoted word. Hmmphf. Grammatical Professor Slingshot Lennon, can you give an example with use of comma and quotes in a compound sentence? ie: would it be correct to have the comma outside the quotes if the quotes are highlighting a 'term', vs. a quoted statement as I just did?
As an aside Professor, these homework assignments should be posted on weekdays, not Sundays when we are trying to catch up on doughnut eating. Some of us have to actually work at tedious and mundane jobs during the week, vs. stimulating and creative jobs such as that held by the Blairwitch Widow. | | An example of comma/quotes inside a compound sentence would be: Cranky said, "I would dearly love to be considered a nappy headed ho," but she had at most a few dozen miles on her bike for the year so was not likely to ever hold that title. [Note that a compound sentence is always distinguished by a comma/conjuction setting off a second independent clause. An independent clause is a subject/predicate construction wherein the subject is contained within the clause itself and does not "depend" on a subject being passed by implication from another clause. Here's an example: Mary Beth cannot ride for shit, but she does look good not doing it. On the other hand, here is the same thought expressed using an independent, then a dependent clause: Mary Beth cannot ride for shit but does look good not doing it. See the difference? As for your question regarding: 'term', you have moved into a whole 'nother space. Single quotes are somewhat different, and a comma outside them may often be considered correct, such as in the way you have used it here—to make reference to 'term' in the context of referring to the lexeme 'term' itself. Otherwise if you had said, "That Cranky headed ho said, 'How would you handle this term,'" you would correctly hold the comma within a single quote followed by a double quote. Personally, in that case, I would spend a few hours trying to revise the sentence in order to get rid of the awkward construction. Of couse, the guiding principle would still be to repeat "headed ho" as many times as humanly possible. As an aside response: It is rather interesting that somebody would refer to slapping the same color pallete on the same paper substrate under the same lighting conditions and afterward selling the product to the same vast adoring public as "stimulating and creative." These are the sorts of conversations one must reserve for weekends, but a better choice would be to purchase a stationary trainer, because the way the Chatter Box removes all paragraphing…this shit can't be described here anyway. In any case, the Blair Bitch just came in, looked at what I was doing, said, "You wrote all that?" and made me stop to go look at the bathroom she just painted. Now we have to go out and get cold remedies for Poor Levine and leave them in his mailbox. The Blair Bitch said that we can get doughnuts while we are out.] | |
| 1012 | 4/14/2007 5:40:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Palletman, are there any general handymen you could recommend? You know what I mean. | | Let me answer for P'man. He only knows these guys, and though they did polish up The Black Widow's attitude somewhat, they probably ain't what you are looking for. ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 1011 | 4/14/2007 5:38:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Near the end of the ride today, I wimped out and split from the group and wheezed my way back to Big V. Just past the ballfield, a white SUV passed me. The passenger window was rolled down, and a girl about the age of 13 leaned out and told me to, "GET OFF THE ROAD!" For a split second, I wondered who was driving: was it mom or dad who was driving this lovely child back home from etiquette school? Whoever it was stomped on the accelerator, before I could shout out FU YOU NAPPY HEADED HO, which I really regret because Slingshot would have been so proud of me. | | Sorry, Lynn. That was me driving the SUV with some girl I picked up over at the ballfield. No need to have yelled at her. I was taking her over to a party at Stone Phillips' house, but when she yelled at you, I left her tied to a tree in some unknown location. Actually she was 7, just my type. I guess I should remind you that "nappy headed ho" is now a term of endearment and a direct reference to elite athletic performance. For derogation ARC prefers the phrase: "Fuck you. Fuck your bikes… and fuck your helmets!" | |
| 1010 | 4/14/2007 5:04:00 PM | FG | Well, I better watch my step, then! Guess that's why I always feel I'm on thin ice...always hoping to PISS SOMEONE OFF! Princess Cranky Pea, I hope you did get apple pies while at Soon's...all this vanilla ice cream is starting to melt! | | … and settle into the Lycra. | |
| 1009 | 4/14/2007 1:38:00 PM | Princess Cranky Pea | Well that woke me up. Credit given to Blairwitch Widow. I am still too scared to come out. Didn't you see me today hiding behind the SOONS Orchard sign? | | Picking up a few apple pies, were we? | |
| 1008 | 4/14/2007 1:08:00 PM | FG | …so…tempted… must…stay away… from political...comments! | EXTRA
LINK... | Now you've really done it, Frank. You are in danger of being kicked off this site for good. Apparently, because of our little tendency toward light hearted trash talking, plus the most recent mention of a NJ governor, you assume anything is fair game, and chance that we would not take rude and demeaning insults seriously. You have gone over the line! To draw this sort of parallel is outrageous. Please, never do this sort of thing on this site ever again. For you to imply that chimpanzees are as classless, idiotic, and worthless as you have done, well, we just won't tolerate it. | |
| 1007 | 4/14/2007 9:42:00 AM | Palletman | SlingShot, how about the Govenor of NJ's office saying that the Govenor had his seat belt on all day but had just taken it off prior to his accident! Who do these people think we are? I suppose they were doing 55 mph too. While I find no pleasure in other people's pain, I don't think we should be subjected to being treated like five year old's. The left has again proven that they can legislate for the masses, but it doesn't pertain to them. | | Please focus here, Palletman. World events are considered inconsequential here. Who gives a fuck if the Governor had his seat belt on or not? Or whether he was getting a blow job in the back of the limo at the time of the crash or just removed his seat belt to jerk off better at the thought of getting to see the Nappy Headed Ho's? What really concerns us here is if Princess Cranky Pea will brave the cold and show up for the fucking Hump this morning. NOTE: The Black Widow is clammoring for credit for coming up with "Princess Cranky Pea." | |
| 1006 | 4/13/2007 2:01:00 AM | Cranky | I'm still scared. Slingshot Lennon is dreaming. All the new members are old members. My Pallet Poppy is now my bro. Blairwitch Widow is in my nightmares. FG took the DONUT sponsor. Spring is Winter. Imagine... | | Phhhwhew… What were you saying? I think I'm finally coming down from the Acid. Seems like it's been forever. Is the war still going on? Did we get civil rights under control? Lots of people got their heads bashed over that shit. Some people got shot and died. Last I can remember, it was 1972, and I was listening to an electric young speaker in Springfield, Illinois at the "Poor People's March on the Capitol." My hair was down to the middle of my back, and I saw myself on TV—marching with a little too much self assuredness. Well, college kids always think they'll be able to change the world. I think the speaker's name was Jesse Jackson. Is the war still going on? | |
| 1005 | 4/12/2007 10:28:00 PM | Palletman | I'm sorry, but I think I should be a "Nappy Headed Bro" not a "Ho." See what you can do to correct this situation. | | Phhhwhew… that might be a little over the line… Done! | |
| 1003 | 4/12/2007 11:49:00 AM | ARC Staff | No, no, no, Humberto. Go back and read the whole fucking thing. | | Who does Humberto think he is: Paul Levine? | |
| 1002 | 4/12/2007 10:26:00 AM | Palletman | Geez, I'm hurt. You obviously got a new shipment of that high quality stuff and didn't invite me over. Most likely you shared it with "Artie the Carpenter." This always happens, I introduce people to one another, they bond and act as if they never knew me! | | And you would be… ? | |
| 1001 | 4/12/2007 3:28:00 AM | SlamCrank | Don't worry about it Cranky. SlingShot's most recent home page rant is boring enough to shut this site down. Without the diversion he'll probably kill the Widder, before she can do any more damage. He just has to remember to approach her while looking in a mirror. Ironically, all this comes just after yesterday's new record attendance of 20 viewers... unless a couple of people have as many IP#'s as Toe Clip. | | | |
| 1000 | 4/11/2007 11:05:00 PM | Cranky | Actually the artsie fartsie video today scared me. It is a little Blair Widowish. Slingshot, you were probably scared to not post it—for fear of a curse or something. Curse of the Black Widow… or are YOU the curse of the Black Widow? This is not only scary but confusing. If I have nightmares tonite… | | Enjoy your nightmares. Palletman has set you up for much worse to come. Personally, I've got my own troubles, trying to stay on top of Y2K type problems like: "What happens when the ChatterBox post numbers go over 1000?" Well, I have the answer to that. "The new posts go to the bottom of the page." A simple code change notwithstanding, my nightmares over this sort of stuff is likely to equal your own impending Widow doom premonitions. | |
| 999 | 4/11/2007 10:38:00 PM | Palletman | Ya know, I think you need to re-read my last post. I've re-read it a couple of times now and do not see where I issued a complaint. More like an observation, see, I understand the artsy fartsyness of your videos, I just pass along comments that I hear others talking about. So, Black Widow lets get your ass in gear (cause Mary Beth says she's going to kick your butt, even though she hasn't rode all winter) and stop complainin and just "shut up and ride..." | | Duck! | |
| 998 | 4/11/2007 9:16:00 PM | ARC Staff | To quell any discontent (after all, our jobs are on the line, SlingShot could give a shit), we have tracked down the Cliff's Notes for the most recent video "Harriman Waiting." It explains it so any Jackass (sorry TP) can understand. The video merely shows The Black Widow's standard obsessive preparation for the Tuesday 4:00 pm Harriman ride. She puts her bike here, then puts her bike there, then puts her bike over here again. All the while she maintains the panicked look of a squirrel crossing the road. The other part of the video is just snippets of her favorite things, or rather thing, which is the mentioning of her name numerous times. Also there is a brief sideways allusion to Zirra's most recent empty threat of showing up for the Hump and/or Harriman. There is a note in the back of the Notes declaring Palletman is to be put on notice for complaining about something that was The Widow's idea, her work, and her bidding for SlingShot to publish—no questions asked. | | Poor Pallet. He has really fucked himself now. He won't even have FG pullin' for him. | |
| 997 | 4/11/2007 8:36:00 PM | Palletman | Ya know, when you guys get artsy fartsy you loose a lot of your membership. Let's just keep it to something we can all understand, like getting dropped on Ridgebury or tits and ass. | | Would that it were true. If you do have a suggestion about how we can reduce our readership, please let us know. Try as I might, I have only managed to increase the number of attendees. At about 4 viewers I decided to get rid of all of them, but no matter what I write, or others contribute, we have only managed to increase the number to about 6. If you could help us get it back down under 3, I can finally shut this puppy down and be done with it. | |
| 996 | 4/11/2007 11:02:00 AM | SlamCrank | Are we to assume, then, that all of FG's sponsors are male? | | | |
| 995 | 4/11/2007 10:18:00 AM | FG | That's it!! I'm pullin' my sponsors! | | | |
| 993 | 4/11/2007 12:41:00 AM | FG | You just can't leave well enough alone, can you. You had to take that last step over the edge, didn't you. I push the envelope, and you punch a gaping hole in it! You're my Hero! | | And you my dear sir, are a nappy headed ho'. Whoops. The cacophony of people clamoring all over each other trying to bail out of this site is deafening. Be careful who you canonize. | |
| 992 | 4/10/2007 11:18:00 PM | FG | … more like a dangling participle … | | I just checked all my grammar books and cannot find a single reference to your dangling party nipples. | |
| 991 | 4/10/2007 10:14:00 AM | FG | I got your IP right here. | | …swingin'. | |
| 990 | 4/9/2007 11:35:00 PM | FG | Gee, Art… next time I come in for an adjustment, don't ask me to dress up like Little Bo Peep again. I'm not that kind of gal, fella! But I do have an 8-track player you can cannabilize for parts. I just use it to prop up my mower when I change the oil. By the way, can I borrow your cycling glasses? I have some minor welding to do. | | You are not allowed to guess who's posting who unless you have access to the IP#'s. I knew the publication of Cranky's value pair personality chart was going to cause trouble. Or did you click on the Artie Facts? | |
| 989 | 4/9/2007 9:10:00 PM | Pink Floyd Landis | No matter how many times I read it, I still get choked up. "Joe Straub is not an asshole…he's just fast." I'll bet if his mother read that, she'd be so proud. It's like one of those back-handed Frank Guarnuccio compliments, you know… like, "Geez, for a fat guy, you don't sweat very much." Or, "I saw your mother on the bus the other day… she's a heck of a good driver." I've been avoiding riding with you guys of late. I'm tired of being ridiculed about having such dated equipment that I'm "stuck in the '80's." Oh, that reminds me, does anyone know how to repair an 8-track player? Mine is busted. | | | |
| 988 | 4/9/2007 7:02:00 PM | Pretty Boy | I overheard Dr. Art say that over the winter he came in for an adjustment and left with a lobotomy. | | Yeah, it's really sad, because just last Fall he said, "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy." | |
| 987 | 4/9/2007 4:30:00 PM | Palletman | Absence makes the heart grow fonder. | | And that's your answer to conflict resolution, just thow out a non sequitor? In any case, we just went for a ride starting at the Chester Train Station where we ran into Chester Pete. I mentioned he made it onto the home page today, then gave him the URL and punchlines, because he's never heard of American Road Cycling. He said he's not been coming to the Hump, because Joe Straub makes the outcome certain, but he's training to do the High Point race. I mentioned Joe Straub is just an asshole, and Petie said (now get this), "Joe is not an asshole. He's just fast." What the fuck did you guys do to the Petie we knew and loved? | |
| 986 | 4/9/2007 3:21:00 PM | Palletman | Had you bothered to show up for the Space Farms ride yesterday, you would have known about your "big scoop" a day ago, like everyone else. I'm getting more up to date information off the OCBC Trash Talk page...this is bullshit! | | Hmm. So did you get your "big scoop" from somebody who can ride with Heather, and who formerly rode with George Hincapie, et al.? Is that also something common over at the #### site? Also, do they fix your miserable punctuation as well? In any case, I did know about it yesterday. I just had to finish up a special job for the Bianchi first. It's not like this shit writes itself. Well, maybe yours does. Quit looking at Cranky's dollar signs. | |
| 985 | 4/9/2007 1:42:00 PM | Cranky | Is this a Rhodes scholar web site? My head hurts more than my a$$ does from riding. Uh oh, trouble for using dollar signs. | | To answer your question, yes, it is, but I believe you have once again allowed a spelling error into your writing. The correct spelling is "Rides scholar." Otherwise, the dollar signs are no problem. More than likely anybody with a Palletman's head for business is probably seeing them when he looks at your ass anyway. In any case, if you ever actually do get on your bicycle again, you might find your head imbalance clearing up. | |
| 983 | 4/9/2007 1:45:00 AM | SlamCrank | So, did that Strunk and White book confirm the commas and periods inside of quotation marks issue? | | Page 36 paragraph 12 states: "Typographical usage dictates that the comma be inside the marks, though logically it often seems not to belong there." The text is mute with regard to periods in the same situation but leads by example by virtue of the work's own useage thus throughout. Otherwise, discussions of certain elements (such as ellipsis) show the wear of time. Wikipedia does a better job of it, allowing the more current "…" as apposed to " . . . ," which harkens (as does double spacing after periods, etc.) to an era of type setting and monospace typewriters. Seems like an awful lot of work just to tell Kevin… KISS MY ASS. Actually, I guess an ellipsis should not be used there. Nothing was left out. Probably a colon would have been better, but the mere mention of colons gets Big Bianchi all fidgity these days. | |
| 982 | 4/9/2007 12:03:00 AM | Cranky | And - must I mention rumor has it he is your son. Sounds like he wants to borrow the car. | | A+ overall, but minus 1 point for the double space after the question mark, or rather, after the period that I changed to a question mark. The fucking thing read fine before, but I've got ECD—English Compulsive Disorder. Screw it. On rereading it, I decided your original version was better, so I restored it. Left off the double space though. In any case, there's something to be said for a clever dash here and there, if it adds to the onscreen aesthetic. Looks better in the Chatter Box than it does on my editing module, but in order to be sure, I still had to look at it again after cleansing my Pallet, I mean palate… shit now I've got my own self confused. Beyond that, you did a wonderful job explaining the rollover text for Toe Clip's photo on the "Hump Opener Photo Page." ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 981 | 4/8/2007 4:41:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Ok, ok… put my first cycling video in the record books. "Kevin Haley attacks from the front while Toe Clip Guy gets BLOWN from the back." It'll be an exercise in humility. As far as the unacclimated snow birds: have Slingshot take his (much) better half by the hand to the nearest mirror. Have them look into the mirror and smile—there's your snowbirds right there! But as a safety precaution, don't let Mr. Slingshot smile too much as the mirror might explode into a billion and one pieces! | | Cranky, you listening? You were right. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 979 | 4/7/2007 9:13:00 PM | FG | Cranky, SlingShot doesn't have a skeleton jersey anymore. He used to, but it got so skanky from wearing it at EVERY ride that his skin just grew over it. It's actually just his innards visible through his skin now. | | And more or less the same in skankiness. | |
| 978 | 4/7/2007 6:34:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Geezzz!! Just my luck. I see myself on video, separating from the group after about 40 minutes, never to bridge back. That was a little bit demoralizing. Now I'm on a mission to redemption. By the way, the picture with Josh and rider unknown--that would be Ryan. Along with Arctic Paul, he rides fearlessly in sub-zero weather. So today would have been a piece of cake for him. Unlike the snowbirds from Florida who need a little more time to acclimate.... | | Thanks for clearing up my fight with the Black Widow. I told her, "You don't know Toe Clip was getting shot out the back. He might have stopped to help Josh with his crank problem, and was just getting back to the group after chasing them for a half hour." BTW: If you would like, we will enter that story into the record books. All you have to do is promise a couple pulls, then point out the snowbirds, so we can trash them in print. | |
| 977 | 4/7/2007 3:41:00 PM | Palletman | That's not SlingShot holding up "Elements of Style," looks more like Hannibal Lechter. Having anyone for dinner tonite? | | With a fine Chianti…flphh, flphh, flphh, flphh! | |
| 976 | 4/7/2007 11:33:00 AM | Cranky | Wow that is Slingshot in that picture? As mentioned in a previous post, it is very difficult to recognize you without the skeleton jersey. Also, you look like you put on weight this winter (Pallet said to say that. Do not come back to me on that one). So, back to recognizing Slingshot sans bones jersey, was that you I was talking to in the produce aisle in Shoprite last Sunday? | | No. Not me. The giveaway would have been if you'd noticed the person you were talking to in produce did not have a box of doughnuts under their arm, and three in their mouth. You must be confusing me with someone slimmer. | |
| 975 | 4/7/2007 1:23:00 AM | FG | Screw that... I'm stayin' in on the rollers! | | You sound like Palletman. Is this Cranky? | |
| 974 | 4/7/2007 1:18:00 AM | Cranky | This is true. I have been known to talk to myself. Between Pallet and me, we can just keep ourselves occupied out here without anyone else ever asking for a link to post.
By the way, where the heck is spring? FG's bike took me for a weather check spin this evening, and it is mf'in cold as all heck out there. Goin' to Slingshot training camp in Floriduh. See you in the summer. | | You people have been warned about stylistic issues, and reminded to avoid allowing colloquial speech patterns to insinuate themselves onto this web site. There is no such word as "mf'in." Obviously you have unnecessarily restrained yourself. You should feel free to uncontract the term, so it is correctly stated in its full form of: "manifestly freezing cold." | |
| 973 | 4/6/2007 11:20:00 PM | FG | I did notice the Alexander Graham Blah Blah Blah dealie. . . Ver_y li__ttle SlIpS b_y M_e ! ! As far as Cranky kicking my ass with my own bike, that is entirely possible! But why would she? I've hidden doughnuts in the seat tube! (that should slow her up) | | She'll slow downer still, trying to get a word or two in edgewise of her own Chatter Box conversation. | |
| 972 | 4/6/2007 9:03:00 PM | Cranky | Yes, the teacher already caught me with a few punctuation errors. Then I also messed up a link below by posting a comment in the link box. How much you wanna bet we get homework this weekend? No doughnuts either. That is 'DOUGH'NUT, not 'DO'NUT, Dodo. | | Quit it, Frank. Apparently you missed the subtle Cranky joke, in which the punchline has to be read in your browser's URL field after the link fails. It was probably a little over everybody else's head too. However, kudos for keeping track of the time Cranky used that trademark as noun. Otherwise, I've gone back and checked, and I can't find a single Cranky punctuation error. You'd better stop harassing her, or she's going to kick your ass with your own bike. | |
| 971 | 4/6/2007 11:39:00 AM | Palletman | I prefer Strunk & White's Elements of Style. | EXTRA
LINK... | ISBN: 020530902X, or do you mean this? --> | EXTRA
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| 970 | 4/6/2007 10:22:00 AM | FG | Hi Cranky, Sorry to keep you on hold so long, but you know how it is talking with SlingShot. By the way, be REALLY careful with your posts... the Punctuation Police are watching. | | You'd think if the comma cops were any fucking good, they'd be able to fix a broken link. | |
| 969 | 4/6/2007 12:29:00 AM | Cranky | Hi, FG. Just thought I'd ring you to see if you were on the phone. Oh, you were talking to Slingshot? Well you know, the call coming in is always more important than the call that already came in. What? Oh sure, I can hold on a minute… or 2… or 5… hmmmm…
Maybe I'll call Slingshot and see if he is still on hold too. | EXTRA
LINK... | Hang up and pull. | |
| 968 | 4/5/2007 10:58:00 PM | FG | Nice commentary on your home page today. I know exactly what you are talk… hold on… phone… sorry, I'll have to finish this later… | | You can't hang up on me! You're on hold! | |
| 967 | 4/5/2007 8:10:00 AM | Palletman | SlingShot, you must be in one of your manic stages. You mention Mary by her Christian name, by my account, no less than four times in your latest post. Are you off your meds again. | | It is a matter of appropriate tone. Since there wasn't much about cycling in the article, I used her Christian name "Mary." I generally save "The Black Widow" (her Muslim name) for cycling articles. BTW: Mary is pretty upset with you. She said, "I've been called a lot of things in my time. But when Palletman implies I'm a "Christian," that's the worst ever." | |
| 966 | 4/4/2007 9:42:00 PM | Cranky | Pallet, I'll send you some doughnuts. BTW: My mom sent citrus up from Floriduh yesterday. At first I thought it was your shipment from Slingshot. Don't worry. If you slow down long enough for me too toss you an orange on Saturday, you can have one. Just don't stand sideways in the parking lot, or it will be too difficult to find you. | | He'll be the one with the big head. | |
| 965 | 4/4/2007 1:11:00 PM | Palletman | OK, you got me. How are those wood butchers treating you? I'm doing some top secret training up here in the hills, don't tell anyone. See ya soon. | | Pretty aggravating. All day I have to listen to The Black Widow on a rant about how good, fast, and perfect they are doing the job. We have immediately gone from our three or four year stint of, "We've got a couple things to be done, but our carpenter retired." To, "Those guys are perfect. Let's start thinking up projects for them to do!" Nice referral, Palletman. Fuck you very much. [Your secret training program is safe with me. I won't tell a soul.] | |
| 963 | 4/3/2007 10:49:00 PM | ARC Staff | C'mon Pallet. Do the trick. It's got to be you! Nobody else even comes close to hitting this site so many times in one day. | | Leave P'man alone! | |
| 962 | 4/3/2007 6:16:00 PM | ARC Staff | A leftover "I Hate Paul Levine" jersey has been located. Grant was so excited about getting recognition for being in charge of the Signature Cycles Complaint Department (it's their largest and most active department), he made a massive effort to find one for Spin Guy. While we are passing out announcements, it appears that Palletman may be visiting ARC from an unknown IP while he's up in Cooperstown. If it is you Palletman, do something to let us know, such as an e-mail from the same location, or hit your Chatter Box Personal Hidden Double Secure Entry Form. | | Can't you aggravating bureaucratic web logs watching bean counters just leave people alone for a change. | |
| 961 | 4/3/2007 3:02:00 AM | Spin Guy | Wow, I got the infamous Cheese, but I'm still awaiting the info about the I Hate Paul T-Shirts? I can make a fortune for Ride for Autism by selling them to all the Ex's I keep meeting. | | I just took a look at the Signature Cycles web site, and ever since they went "Corporate" you can't find a thing on it. Call Grant. He's in charge of the complaint department while Paul's off shore chugging down thimerosal hot-toddies. Probably explains a lot. Otherwise, last I heard, the few remaing jerseys were being torn apart by a frenzied crowd of bargain hunters in Filene's Basement. | |
| 960 | 4/2/2007 10:26:00 AM | FG | Yippieeeeeeee!! Will there be waterboarding?!? Me first… ME FIRST!! | | Better than that—snowboarding. | |
| 959 | 4/2/2007 12:28:00 AM | ARC Staff | Would Art, Bianchi, Cranky, FG, P'man, Spin Guy, and Toe Clip Guy, please assemble at Gate 5A. | | Bring your toothbrushes. | |
| 958 | 4/2/2007 12:25:00 AM | CaliperGirl | But why is SlingShot offering to protect UV71/44's identity. | | Because he wants to lord it over everybody: that he knows, and they don't. These tiny little pieces of primacy are all he's got. | |
| 957 | 4/2/2007 12:21:00 AM | SlamCrank | Apparently, FG has rendered SlingShot speechless. | | Apparently so. | |
| 956 | 4/1/2007 11:49:00 PM | FG | Yeah, just wait 'til the rendition flights start... | | | |
| 955 | 4/1/2007 11:22:00 PM | ARC Staff | To UV71/44: We noticed that you hit the Chatter Box submittal form, plus the Contact Form, and we apologize for the inconvenience in having had to shut them down. Fess up to your true identity, find somebody who you can convince of your identity, and who knows how to get through to us, provide an e-mail address, and we will set you up with your very own personal input form. Just like Art, Bianchi, Cranky, FG, P'man, Spin Guy, and Toe Clip Guy already have. If you wish to continue being anonymous, we will honor your wishes, but we have to have the info on file. It's all part of our National Security effort... blah, blah, quack, quack, bullshit. | | You ARC Staff assholes are truly asinine motherfuckers. | |
| 954 | 4/1/2007 8:50:00 PM | Palletman | OK, I got it! | | Got it good. | |
| 953 | 4/1/2007 6:20:00 PM | Cranky | Spin Guuuuuuyyy! You and me gonna get me in trouble ova heeaaa!! Welcome back. | | What is this? A fucking family reunion? | |
| 952 | 4/1/2007 5:03:00 PM | Spin Guy | Finally, the Ban has been lifted. I've learned my lesson. Never to log on before midnight, lose connection, and try to resume reading shortly after midnight. This under the strict attendance guidelines constitutes a sneaky 2 day attendance. Boy, have I got a lot of reading to catch-up on. By the way where is the music you promised? | | Sorry, I only mentioned the music, because I was checking to see if you were the person who found it on their own. Some clever somebody tracked it down on the Internet. We have a theory who it was, but no solid evidence. As for your Ban, I now have a procedure in place to help keep me from freaking out when somebody shows up around midnight. Actually, you were one of the primary reasons I started staying up late—in order to post the next day's articles close to midnight, so you don't ever have to miss "today's" home page, while always only seeing "tomorrow's" versions. Guess that means you are hereby Banned again, and if you go away this time you will be banned for life. We'll just chuck you off into Cranky Land. However, that was a rather incredible stint of cheese grabbing patience though, holding off for the delayed punch line, months later in the parking lot of the Hump. I knew you were doing it. You knew I knew you were doing it. I knew you knew that I knew you were doing it… still a relief to get the confirmation. The cheese is yours. | |
| 950 | 4/1/2007 11:29:00 AM | FG | I've coughed up a lot of things in my day, but doughnuts ain't one of 'em! | | Maybe not, but you did spill your guts about using your wife's computer. | |