| # | Time EST | President | Chatter | User'sLink | My Personal SlingShot
aka: Sling Blades | Shot's
Link |
| 650 | 12/29/2006 10:14:00 AM | SlingShot | Good mornin' Pallet, and Paul. Bout time you got your lazy asses outa bed. | | SlingShot, just shutup and get out on your bike. | |
| 649 | 12/28/2006 9:27:00 AM | Palletman | Thanks for the spelling corrections! | | JEESUS FUCK! Give me a motherfucking chance to wake up, why don't you. | |
| 648 | 12/28/2006 9:02:00 AM | Palletman | Slingshot, I must apologize for my last posting. It was highly offensive to both you and the Black Widow. It seems that the new low-calorie Colt 45 really does pack a wallop. So, just "asshole" was really enough said. "Fucking asshole" was over the top. For that I am truly sorry. | | Well, you should be…fucking asshole. | |
| 647 | 12/28/2006 1:04:00 AM | Palletman | Did you think I was fucking born yesterday, you fucking asshole. Of course I knew you would be monitoring this web site for the fucking drivel that people say about each other. It's an addiction that you really need to control. My precripstion (sp? I'm too lazy to look it up at this hour) is forty wanks, perhaps one hundred and forty wanks at your age, to get you over this addiction. | | Sorry, I don't have time to reply to this. I am reading all my other e-mail, and for some reason can't stop myself. | |
| 645 | 12/26/2006 4:27:00 PM | Palletman | Bail out my ass……. We decided to leave when everyone started yelling "back off the pace" We did our 50+ and then some. | | Shut the fuck up, Palletman. Nobody was talkin' about you. We were talkin' about Poor Levine. However, my own recollection is that everyone was yelling, "Watch the pace, Palletman is off the back!" Guess it got a little garbled, way back where you were. BTW: Did you really think SlingShot was going to be off his computer forever, and you could put anything you damn well please in this Chatter Box? | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 644 | 12/26/2006 10:40:00 AM | SlamCrank | I'm sorry to hear, Toe Clip, that you're going to have to wait for the customery considerate reply. It appears "Your Personal SlingShot" is dead in the water for the time being while those wankers Bob and Mary are on the road. Apparently, Mr. "I've Got It All Under Control," couldn't figure out how to keep it up and running for a few days of highway travel. | | Shut the fuck up, asshole. I'm right here beside you and heard every word! -SlingShot | |
| 643 | 12/26/2006 2:41:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Hey SlingShot: Great ride yesterday. I appreciate the fact you encouraged the completion of the prearranged distance. That was in fact my first over 50 miler. I did find it interesting that we had riders bail out left and right…… What was up with that?.... In any event, hope you and the Black Widow had`a great ride down to your training camp this christmas day. Train well, and we'll catch you back up here in the spring, if not sooner... | | | |
| 641 | 12/24/2006 11:24:00 AM | Palletman | Maybe if you got the spelling right I would consider it! | | Palletman! Sorry, I was in the studio laying own a vocal track for the Xmas video. | |
| 640 | 12/24/2006 3:03:00 AM | SlingShot | Can't we all just get along? All you guys should just show up for the ride from Paul's tomorrow (10:00 am) to comisserate with each other on some hill or another. Looks like it will be an easy ride, because we just left most of the people who are going to be riding with us over at Paul's having a dress up slumber party. They were still giggling and trying to go to sleep. Not likely they'll be much good for anything come sunup. BTW: Don't feel too bad about losing out on the cadence sensor. You never had a chance anyway. An under the table deal was struck, and while the online price may have seemed exorbitant, the true amount (passed surreptitiously under the IRS's noses) was in fact quite significantly more substantial. Of course, we are not at liberty to mention the buyer's name. Isn't that right Slippery? BT-BTW: Palletman received a quick phone call from somebody at Paul's this evening, and Toe Clip Guy got his own personal e-mail invite, so there should be a pretty interesting crowd to smack Paul sensless…in front of his business associates. Well, actually behind them. | | Yeah, that's right Palettman. Dump those other losers and show up at Paul's…if you dare! | |
| 639 | 12/24/2006 12:08:00 AM | Bianchi | Hold on Dr. Art nobody outbids the both of us. Let calmer minds prevail. Let's find out just who this cretin is then we'll send ol' Peetie in first. You know, just to smooth him over, since he has such a way with words. Then before he knows what's going on, we bring in Slingshot yelling those immortal words as he did that day in CompUSA, "F**K Yooooooou." And if that's not enough, we let Wallace lick him in the face when he's down. By the way I think that carburetor is bigger than the engine in your minivan. | | | |
| 638 | 12/23/2006 11:36:00 PM | Artie Art Artie | I don't know where to start guys. I was certain that my atomic bid of one dollar on eBay would have claimed the Polar cadence monitor. I have been walking around the house screaming at the top of my lungs, "Who the F*** was I up against in this bidding war?! Donald Flipping Trump? Did Bill Freaking Gates need a cadence monitor?!" I'm more calm now, ever since I've decided to hurl a roll of 100 pennies through the window of the Endico Gallery… at least that will give me some closure….and quite possibly a torn rotator cuff. The nerve of eBay, to send me an e-mail consoling me with "similar items" currently available. Geez…if you miss out on the Mona Lisa in a bidding war, you don't want somebody telling you a painting of Elvis on black velvet is still available! I'm a very bitter man right now. Hey Bianchi…I don't care how much you say…I'm buying that damned carburator out of your china closet, and I'm going to have it installed in my mini-van! | | | |
| 637 | 12/23/2006 10:25:00 PM | SlingShot | Anybody wishing to kick Paul's sorry ass one more time before Winter closes in, is invited | | | |
| 636 | 12/23/2006 10:23:00 PM | SlingShot | Hey Toe Clip Guy: Tomorrow morning's ride (Sunday 23, 2006) 10:00 am from Paul Levine's house in Central Valley. A flat 50+. For directions to Paul's click the link to the right. The directions to Paul's is correct, but we won't be doing Silence. | EXTRA
LINK... | | |
| 635 | 12/23/2006 5:37:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Hello Folks!!! Please excuse my apparent over-eargerness… But can we muster up a group ride for Christmas Eve (in the morning)?..... Otherwwise, best wishes to all, even to you---- SlingShot! | | I doubt anybody could call this over-eagerness. You have only pointed out a failure on the part of Palletman…nothing's been posted on the OCBC rides calendar. Turns out Palletman's actually worthless…and I just thought he was merely slow. In any case, even that fat-ass snail Paul Levine has been whining about having a ride tomorrow. We'll grab hold of him, make him settle on a time and place, and post the results here later tonight. Hell, SlingShot and the Black Widow are even delaying their departure to Florida state for winter training camp, just so they can ride the hills one more time. | |
| 634 | 12/21/2006 12:07:00 AM | Bianchi | Ok Sling, since the cadence sensor is mine I can believe you would be crazy enough to try to make a profit off my Christmas gift to you, but there is noooooo way somebody would be insane enough to keep a carburetor in their china closet let alone have a room in their house dedicated to some cycling team like 7-Eleven for instance. If this is true, these two guys must be off their rocker or maybe a couple fries short of a happy meal. Lay off the Fossil Fuel buddy. I think it's making you delirious. Bianchi | | Just stay away from the gas fumes around your china, and keep your wits about you. Also, don't get in a bidding war with Artie Art while trying to gift this rare prize to his museum; and, if you can catch me, I'll split the profit with you. | |
| 632 | 12/17/2006 6:20:00 PM | Palletman | You I don't care about. It's the vixen with the Santa Beard that I'm trying to impress with my wit and knowledge. | | Then you probably should have been there this morning while "Her Vixeness," and her little friend, Poor Levine, stood on the corner of Cascade Road waiting for Grant and me to come careening down 17A after Grant had his Kain cherry popped. You might have taken the opportunity to chat her up. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have liked Kain twice in a week. I'm absolutely certain that I didn't. Grant basted me by almost a moment and a half. Maybe there should be a Grant v. Palletman, Kain Smackdown for the Championship. We could get T.P. Joe to ride water up during the climb, and news of your progress back down, while picking up the next bottles. By the time I got to the top this morning, Grant was on his bike, hunched over and leaning against a low fence, drooling on his toe clips. He did manage to pick his head up just enough to call me "fucking asshole," though he said it a lot quieter than I am writing it. Still, I had a quick word with Paul anyway, about his employees and customer relations. | |
| 630 | 12/16/2006 7:56:00 AM | Palletman | Slingshot, it was a pleasure giving you such a beat down. I believe our ride was scheduled for three hours at a nice winter pace. You pick the route. Well, I must say that I was surprised when you came back with "how about Kain Road?" Now, I had heard stories of Kain but had never rode it or for that matter even driven up it, so I was immediately suspicious from the get go as to your motive. Especially when the Black Widow came out pre ride to expand upon your description of it. Were these two fuckin' with my head or what? After my last visit to the Widow's den, when she was playing head games with me, I couldn't trust the two of you completely. Well, after the buildup Kain was everything expected, and then some. I'm not sure if my computer has ever registered such a slow speed with so much work. Over the 4.7 miles to the top of Kain from Sugar Loaf we burned 546 calories. The balance of the 47 miles of the ride we burned 1,254 calories. You do the math. That about says it all. Kain by itself would have been fine, but you had to fuck with me some more (Brady Mountain Road, Demerest to name a few). That's when I decided it was time to fuck with you! Great fun. Have a good trip. BTW Black Widow I checked out the card again…. Hot, very hot. | | I still don't like you. | |
| 629 | 12/15/2006 6:46:00 PM | SlingShot | I wish to lodge an Official Complaint with American Road Cycling with regard to one of your members. Palletman came over to my house today for an "easy winter pace ride," then proceeded to kick my ass over and over again ON MY OWN COURSE. I am quite aware that nobody really likes him much anyway, but couldn't you post a notice somewhere so even more people will like him even less? Skinny ass motherfucker even motored up Kain like it was a reasonable hill. | | Oh, shut up. And quit talking to yourself. | |
| 625 | 12/12/2006 5:36:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Just to let you know I'm back in full swing…. Sling…. Shot!
The good (bicycle) Doctor took in my bike right away and turned it around quickly…. Est rode it a couple of times now, and can safely say… I'm ready… looking forward to my next group ride!!!
By the way, you can't blame Paul Levine for not including in his clinics the "check to make sure your head is screwed on right" item on the pre-ride check list, as we all know that won't work well with some riders anyway! | EXTRA
LINK... | Dude…this aint no place to be sucking up to Rich Cruet, nor Poor Levine. Much better to pit the two of 'em up against each other in a Ridgebury Celebrity Death Match. I've been riding with both of them, and my money is on, well, on me. | |
| 624 | 12/12/2006 10:20:00 AM | Palletman | Black Widow should get her calculator out. A little less than one hour per day? What have you guys been smoking over there? | EXTRA
LINK... | E.P.O. | |
| 623 | 12/11/2006 7:03:00 PM | Palletman | That would be HJ. Just like you. | | How kind of you to mention it. I am indeed a very Handsome Jock! BTW: You might be able to put in your own 8k+ miles next year, if you'd quit wasting so much time online. Hell, Chester Pete is now over 13k. Not to mention, Dr. Art is over 5k, even though he's been hiding that fact from everybody by the way he's been riding. Plus, The Black Widow just mentioned that SlingShot's paltry 23 miles a day, is really just a little less than one hour per diem, then she immediately added, "JEEZ BOB, I CAN SMELL THAT ALL THE WAY OVER HERE. In any case, 1hr/day is significantly less than the time Palletman wastes reading American Road Cycling. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 621 | 12/11/2006 6:32:00 PM | Palletman | For crying out loud 8,125 miles in 2006! That's 23.61918604 miles per day. Someday I want to get a real job just like you. | EXTRA
LINK... | BJ? Or HJ? | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 620 | 12/8/2006 9:31:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Took a much needed basic bike tune-up/maintenance clinic over at Signature Cycles in New York City, and mentioned to Paul Levine how I had a pretty good group ride this past Sunday, when he remembered some reference to this same exact ride discussed in jest on this particular website.. So I checked it out and to my surprise saw there was reference to my club "nom" and something about my wanting to take a hill like some crazed former marine!!!.... Well, Well, Well…I actually did get a kick out of that…see you on the rides Bob and Mary, but it may take a little while as it so happened that right before getting over to Paul’s bike clinic, I had pulled into a garage near 66th street, knowing ahead of time that I should check the clearance, as my bike was strapped on my rack atop my Honda CRV,…. But for a split second when I pulled in…I forgot to get out and check the clearance… and there it went… carbon fiber seat stem, front derailleur, and who knows what else is broken… will be bringing the bike remains in to the Bicycle Doctor asap for an ASSesment..Preventing such stupidity was not covered in Paul's clinic!!! Hope to be riding with the group soon. Good Luck!, Rick a.k.a. Toe Clip Guy..… | EXTRA
LINK... | That was truly an unfortunate oversight on Paul's part, not having the "check your clearance" as part of the bike maintenance course. He should have known better, since Godzilla recently did more or less the exact same thing, though on his own garage door, not at the NYC parking garage. Awhile back when I asked if you had fallen in your new clipless pedals yet, you said, "No," and I said, "You will," I should have added, "You will brush your bike off the top of your car too. Everybody does, eventually." Check out OldNews2006, 04/04/06 for photos of Zirra's bike. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 619 | 12/8/2006 12:35:00 AM | Twin Lynn | Slingshot and Black Widow: I hear that you've sent out your christmas cards, but I have yet to receive mine. I'm sure it's just lost in the mail. Here's your f@!king christmas card. Copy and paste works. Happy holidays. Http://www.elfyourself.com/
?userid=f5986c5530e6e47
d5ba585f_20061207 | | Fuuck Mee! -SlingShot…….: ) [As of 03/27/07 the elfyourself.com link at left no longer functions, but takes you directly to the Office Max web site. Sad to see it gone. However, it did prompt us to set up an external links function in the Chatter Box, so all's not wasted. Special thanks to the new user (UV83) who clicked on it, and thus reminded SlingShot to check the link again.] | |
| 618 | 12/7/2006 9:46:00 PM | SlamCrank | By the time Kevin Haley gets off his pudgy bottom and back in shape, Paul Levine will probably already be a cyclist again. | | You're gonna get in trouble for that one. | |
| 617 | 12/5/2006 5:17:00 PM | SlamCrank | Being truly old is when you realize it feels better to scratch your nuts than to play with your pecker. And if you thought it was hard getting a blowjob, just wait till you ask your wife to scratch your nuts for you! | | Sounds like a case of too many miles on a non-hypo-allergenic chamois to me. If this kind of talk continues, we are going to start censoring chatter box. | |
| 616 | 12/5/2006 4:16:00 PM | Palletman | I've been waiting twelve months for the ARC swimsuit edition! Black Widow you never disappoint us. | | Oh, goody. I'm going to get my ass grabbed on Ridgebury again. -SlingShot | |
| 613 | 12/2/2006 10:19:00 PM | Bianchi | Yup, just think having a probe stuck up your nether region five times in one year. I think I'll remove the saddle from my bike for next year just to reduce some weight. Kind of gives new meaning to Spanktown Road. Hey, any body got Richard Gere's number? | | Just think of having The Black Widow stick her boot up it several times a day for 30 years. She'd like to have Richard Gere's number also. Rest assured, if I had it, I'd give it up in a minute. | |
| 612 | 12/2/2006 9:59:00 AM | Palletman | Get your sorry ass down to the hump today SlingShot. Or is it too cold? When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Which means we'll probably see the Black Widow! | | No time to respond to this. Gotta get my ass down to the Hump so's Palletman can try to grab it. | |
| 605 | 11/21/2006 6:25:00 PM | Palletman | I'e been working all season trying to discourage the OCBC general membership and recruiting them for ARC, and finally when I get one (see Mike the Spin Guy OCBC Trash Talk) you decide to throw in the towel. I feel as if I've been violated. | | Nice try with the discouragement. That works a lot better if you can actually beat one of them. At least you didn't get your ass grabbed on Ridgebury. | |
| 604 | 11/21/2006 6:08:00 PM | Palletman | The key phrase in SlingShots last posting is "was famous for" It is pretty pathetic that like one of Pavlov's dogs I still continue to come back each day for more..... (kinda tells you what type of days we have here at PalletWorld Amusement Park)....... SlingShot had the biking community by the short hairs, and he just gave it away. I guess that other bicycle club wins by default. | | It's not my fault that other club went sane on us. By the way: ringa, ding, ding! Give me your paw… | |
| 603 | 11/18/2006 11:34:00 PM | Bianchi | Hello Mary,
This is Mother of the Bianchi. The other day I return from my daily bike ride and my son the Bianchi was home waiting for me with a gift for my birthday. He giva me a new pair of bicycle shoes to replace my old wooden sole Duegi's, whata nicea boy. He also showa me some pictures of you and your new man,you no looka a day over 30 to me. My son the Bianchi say it's Boob Faggot and not a new man.
I tella him he's wrong and if he tella me again I tell him I puncha him in his mouse. Well he say it one more time and now that he is older I can't reach that high no more so I kicka him where the sun no shine. So don't believe that story he no have colon cancer but he go to the hospital to remove splinters from uppa his you know what. That's one good looking man you have, thin like a stick of the finest pepperoni not like that Boob Faggot who look like a slab of prosciutto with two legs hanging in the italian deli. What a nice man he even think my son the Bianchi is number one when he wave his middle finger at him when his picture was taken. You bring that new man over any time for the brownies, lemon cake and espresso and if you ever see that Boob Faggot you tella him I'ma going to taka his cheese a beat him over the head with it.
Chow Mary,
Mother of the Bianchi | | Yep, I'll take a nice stick of pepperoni over a bananna any day! | |
| 600 | 10/10/2006 12:01:00 AM | Twin Lynn | Since we have a precedent of naming routes after movies (Silence of the Lambs), and in honor of Nuclear Dan, we can rename the McQuade ride "Gorilla in the Mist". As for you, Nuclear Dan, you should be ashamed of yourself acting that way in public. | | Slingshot, you can take my cheese any day, honey! | |
| 599 | 10/8/2006 9:25:00 PM | Nuclear Dan Buckley | To whom it may concern:
I am honored to have my photo in such a place of distinction. Who would have thought I’d be featured on the home page of the American Road Cycling web site. That’s right up there with having your picture on the wall at the post office or on a carton of milk. I have finally arrived! I’ve made it! Alleluia! I can now go to my grave knowing I’ve reached the pinnacle of cycling success. I can only hope these fifteen minutes of fame last a few short nano seconds. Anyway, thank you, to whom it may concern.
PS did you use Photoshop to doctor the photo? I hate bananas!
Alrightythan
Guess who
| | Congratulations on your feature photo on the ARC web site. Your victory would have been much sweeter had anybody given a shit. BTW: The only Photoshop trick used was to greatly enlarge the banana, as was necessary for visibility. ALSO: Sorry, I toggled your message off the "Contact" form, and onto the message board. If you have a problem with that, you always have the option to go and fuck yourself. | |
| 597 | 9/19/2006 3:20:00 PM | Palletman | What goes up, must come down! As if he were a character in Stephen King's book "Thinner" Slingshot continues his downward spiral in weight. Looking gaunt and de-hydrated after a solo fifty miler, the Shot was seen leaning against the tailgate of his pickup truck yesterday trying to gather his tits, no, I mean wits about him. When asked if he was ok Slingshot was heard to say something about getting Joe Straub's cheese.
After eleven straight days of cycling Slingshot's current weight is 170.4 lbs. all things being equal he would break the 170 ls. barrier today. He stated that his weight loss would continue until the Back Widow stopped kicking him out of the house each day and gave him a day off. | | I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on their motherfucking bicycles! | |
| 595 | 9/19/2006 12:21:00 AM | Twin Lynn | Gee, I used to complain that I wasn't photogenic. Not anymore! Thanks, Bianchi! | | All you ever needed was to correctly accessorize. You also might profit from seeing the Black Widow's most recent use of Chamois Butt'r. Too bad Paul couldn't whip out his camera in time. In any case, you should stop pretending to be Twin Lynn. BTW: Don't purchase any used cycling gloves from Hum-BEAR-to. | |
| 594 | 9/17/2006 7:26:00 PM | Cream-sicle aka Money Shot | I was just following directions.
"Apply liberally to skin and chamios/shorts before each ride and to chamois after washing. Apply to any skin areas that rub together or against shorts, jerseys. shoes, bras, atheltic supporters, or protective cups. Apply as a conditioner/protectant to skin exposed to wind, cold temperatures, or moisture." | | Nothing succeeds like excess! | |
| 589 | 9/11/2006 10:09:00 AM | SlamCrank | Hey Joe Straub, you smiling jackass, congratulations on your 1st place finish in the 40+ Masters Race in Harriman yesterday. Now get ready to rumble, for I have made you my target. I'm takin' your cheese, man. I'm takin' your cheese... | | None of that sort of stuff here, please. | |
| 587 | 9/10/2006 6:58:00 PM | CaliperGirl | That's great! I love stories with Kevin Haley in them. | | | |
| 586 | 9/10/2006 6:05:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Ok, but did you have any success? | | Yeah, I aggravated Twinn Lynn so much she gave herself a cue sheet and left the ride. | |
| 585 | 9/10/2006 4:24:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Howdie, SlingShot. I hear you felt really special on the Country Roads ride today. What's up with that. | | I did feel special. All the fastest riders (George, Dan, Doug, Kevin, etc) were fucking with me just like I was Chester Pete! Kevin even pushed me up a couple hills just so they could continue their game. I also especially enjoyed the dazed and disorderly look they plastered on Palletman's face. | |
| 584 | 9/9/2006 3:42:00 PM | SlamCrank | Hey SlingShot, I hear you finally made an appearance with the Double AA's on Ridgebury today. How would you describe it? | | Brief. | |
| 582 | 8/31/2006 9:30:00 PM | Zirra | This is the home of post season trash talk, and tests of newly gained fitness. It is alive and well. All before we hide our physique's behind a layer of christmas lard.
K
BTW: Wed-signature WHQ. All are welcome to witness the unveiling. | | Sûrement à Wed, mais sans SlingShot et la Black Widow qui iront aux NYC pour livrez Big Bianchi au docteur. | |
| 581 | 8/31/2006 5:52:00 PM | Palletman | Zirra, someone must of forgot to tell you that this web site has sunk like the Titanic…… the site has shrivelled up and fallen off into cyper space. Yes, it's a pity. Someone thought it might have something to do with the webmaster spending all of his time in front of a mirror preening himself. But whatever the reason, it seems that this is now a lost cause…….. So much talent wasted….. For what? On the bright side, ever since they shut the site down sales at Palletworld have taken off….. maybe I owe them a "Thanks" for shuting it down? | | Bon, vous êtes bienvenu ! Il est possible de faire cycling, et il est possible d'écrire au sujet cycling, mais les deux n'est pas les mêmes . Aussi faire de lecture de cycling c'est possible, et il est possible vendre pallets. Mais les deux… Monsieur Shit est devant le miroir, et il est tres beau ! | |
| 580 | 8/31/2006 4:33:00 PM | Zirra | Г-н slingshot вы и весьма хорошая противница но мы rematch снова на среде на я часа дня.
| | N'importe quand, n'importe où,,,près de moi, et sans pluie ! | |
| 579 | 8/31/2006 4:24:00 PM | Zirra | http://www.weather.com/weather/
wxdetail/USNY0244?dayNum=6 | | | |
| 578 | 8/31/2006 4:21:00 PM | Zirra | But not! It is stupid! It is incredible! SlingShit is a very weak iron ore. It is not possible!
Oh i disagree, from the reports i get you have the legs of a man 1/2 your age.
K | | Tentez vous une autre fois. Bablefish ce, Monsieur Blosblos : Mais non ! C'est stupide ! C'est incroyable ! SlingShit est un minet tres faible . Ce n'est pas possible ! Je suis demi d'un homme sans jambes de tout. | |
| 576 | 8/29/2006 12:19:00 PM | Zirra | What is this that I hear? SlingShit is doing IMLP next year?? | | Mais non ! C'est stupide ! C'est incroyable ! SlingShit est une minette tres faible . Ce n'est pas possible ! | |
| 573 | 8/18/2006 8:16:00 AM | Black Widow | Merde Alors! I must be sleeptalkin' again......... | | Néanmoins, Slingshot venant bientôt à une Ridgebury près de vous . | |
| 572 | 8/18/2006 1:26:00 AM | Black Widow | Wheewh! | | Slingshot venant bientôt à une Ridgebury près de vous ! | |
| 571 | 8/17/2006 11:43:00 AM | FrondFusil | Thank god, Jonbenét has saved us from "The War." Too bad she had to get killed by Lee Harvey Oswald in order to do it. | | Mon dieu ! | |
| 569 | 8/11/2006 9:46:00 AM | Palletman | Is it the man or the machine? I'm not sure which, but Slingshot was riding very strong last night. Post ride interview went something like: "The Black Widow will now be looking at my ass from now on." to "I have visions of Ridgebury floating in my head, I just want to be able to say that I was dropped on Ridgebury again….. I mean is that to much to ask?" Then some comment about how Nuclear Dan is now on his radar screen. | | FrondFusil a commence de revenir le tour ! | |
| 568 | 8/9/2006 6:19:00 PM | The Black WIdow | Conversation this AM post Cream of Wheat: Slingshot, "I love my new Otrott so much, I can't imagine ever riding my old Otrott ever again!" The Black Widow, "zzzzzzzzzzzz!" | | Oy! | |
| 565 | 8/6/2006 10:54:00 PM | TwinLynn | Conversation last Saturday, post-hump.
TwinLynn: "Slingshot is out of commission. Mary told me he threw his back out, real bad. He can hardly walk."
DangerousDan: "That's on par with his cycling. He can barely ride…" | | C'est vrai ! [BTW: TweenLeen, gracias por ayuda me con su "tiro de la honda."] | |
| 564 | 8/2/2006 11:10:00 AM | Palletman | My employee thanks you for switching to Spainish. He enjoyed his two minutes in the AC. | | ¿Hace frío, si? | |
| 563 | 8/2/2006 11:08:00 AM | Palletman | Well Slingshot, we kicked it up a notch. You may have gotten Josh last week. We called in the cavalry last night. Twin George, Patrick Saunders, Dangerous Dan, Round Hill Steve, Twin Lynn, and Iron Mike Norton. Iron Mike was heard to say something to the effect that he needed to get a good ride in before his race this weekend. He wasn't disappointed afterwards. With temps hovering around 95 degrees at ride time all the horses were lathered up by the start. A spirited ride was had. BTW: as incredible as your weight loss has been, there is another rider that rivals your loss. Dangerous Dan is down a reported 13 lbs. since returing from Mallorca and is looking extremely strong. | | Mais 13 <> 37 c'est vrai ? Dangerous est un amateur ! | |
| 561 | 8/1/2006 2:44:00 PM | Palletman | This frog response crap is costing me a fortune in translation costs. Can you switch to Spainish? One of my employees has agreed to translate for nothing if I let him sit in the AC. Thanking you in advance. | | Lo siento mucho, maricón cabron. No es una problema. Chinga tu madré, hijo de puta. Yo hablo Español muy malo tambien. Yo trabajé con los gentes de Sur America para dos años. 謀攻第 | |
| 559 | 7/31/2006 10:27:00 PM | TwinLynn | Slingshot, my French is rusty. Whose pants am I in? Or are you saying that the carpenter ants are in your pants? | | C'est une blague, oui ? Tu s'en garderais bien qui a des fourmis dans leur lingerie ! Ce n'est pas FrondFusil mais vous. Ils chatouillent fortes, n'est ce pas ? | |
| 558 | 7/31/2006 4:58:00 PM | Palletman | News Flash: ARC and SlingShot named de-facto voice of Orange County Cycling. Due to un-known attacks to OCBC web site by ? ARC and SlingShot are now the only viable options for Orange County cyclists to vent. Think of them as the Radio Free Europe of Orange County riders. Truth, justice and the American way! Keep up the good work! BTW: could you turn the auto spam to the OCBC web site off until they can figure out a work around. Thanks. | | Je ne sait rien au sujet de « auto spam » mais je t'assure que TwinLynn a les fourmis dans ses caleçones ! | |
| 557 | 7/29/2006 10:26:00 PM | TwinLynn | I have a few things to say. First, there is way too much profanity on this chat, it's fucking out of control. Slingshot, isn't there some way you can censor these people? Second, it's about time you all noticed how hot the Black Widow is. Her ass might be looking good, but what's really going on here is that she is oozing hormones out of every pore of her body. She's like an estrogen volcano. And all you guys are simply responding to the hormones that the hot flashes are pumping out. Well, all you guys with the exception of Slingshot of course. As her husband, he's immune to that stuff. Besides, he's completely fixated on his own bodily functions and rumor has it that he's taking fistfulls of ex lax to make weight. Which brings me to my final point. I'm glad to hear you made it Slingshot! It's about fucking time. Question: when you put the weight back on next week, do you have to turn the bike back in to Paul? | | Putain de merde, ma chère connasse ! Qand votre branlage est fini, je tu permets baiser me vélo . | |
| 556 | 7/28/2006 2:35:00 PM | Black Widow | PMan, Slingshot is out on his new Ottrott, only his 27th ride of the week. All I can say is :)))))))))) | | Mes hémorroïdes sont grandes et rouges ! | |
| 555 | 7/28/2006 12:31:00 PM | Palletman | Cut the frog crap Slingshot. Just because you've dropped a few lbs. and now ride with two hot chicks, instead of one, you don't have to go around showing off how cosmopolitan you are. I'll bet that your testosterone levels are elevated too! BTW: Don't show up at any more rides telling everyone how this is your third ride of the day etc, etc. Josh has been giving us the same line for two months. Now it's getting old. Good luck Saturday, to the Black Widow as she hunts down her next victim. As Hannibal Lechter would say "I'm having a good friend over for dinner..." | | Your reference to Hannibal Lechtor may be over some peoples' heads, so here's a reference link ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 554 | 7/27/2006 5:27:00 PM | Palletman | Refer to your 5/28/06 posting. I'm sure you'll be down to nothing shortly. | | Bien sûr, bien sûr que, c’est évident . Mais maintenant je veut plus...o moins en ce cas la . | |
| 553 | 7/27/2006 3:34:00 PM | Palletman | Well? Did you make the weight today? | | Of course. But now I just want more. Or less, I should say. | |
| 552 | 7/26/2006 9:03:00 PM | Palletman | 176lbs. after today's ride? That's an incredible weight loss. Did you drink anything on the ride, or just look at the Black Widow's ass the whole ride? Really, tomorrow could be the day. Let us know your inner feelings and expectations for the new bike. Don't hold back, Paul may be able to use some of this shit in his marketing. Open up to us Slingshot. Let us know your pre ride expectations, the time on the bike and then your post ride withdrawal. Should I have a cigarette available? | | Actually, I spent the whole ride looking at Don Stark's ass, which kept me so sick to my stomach I couldn't drink a drop. That's the secret. As for the bike, I'd be glad to tell everybody about it, but unfortunately nobody currently reads this stuff. By nobody, of course I mean Palletman. | |
| 551 | 7/26/2006 9:22:00 AM | Palletman | It worked! I have jump started Slingshot back into his reporting duties. This is the kind of senseless bullshit that we've grown to love. Keep up the good work! And yes, the OCBC did send Josh over on purpose last night to see if you guys really were showing up to ride or just having a coffee with your donuts. Josh did confirm earlier reports that Black Widow continues to look hot! Black Widow eating her Wheaties. Weather reports look good the next two to three days for Slingshot to melt off the remaining 1.6 lbs needed for him to jump onto his new Serrotta. Are you going to have an un-veiling? Please advise. | | 180.6 this morning. Gotta run. That Cat. 2 woman Leah is showing up for this morning's ride with Mary, Don and me. Handago is currently on the phone bowing out. What a pussy. Mary reports she's still not slowing down for you…no matter how flattering the bullshit. [UPDATE: 176.6 after today's ride, maybe I will just go to bed now and wake up tomorrow with a new bike!] | |
| 550 | 7/25/2006 7:11:00 PM | Palletman | Hey ass wipe, get the donut out of your mouth and change the instructions at the bottom of the page to read: 1) Please complete the form above and click 'Post Comments'. Being that there is no 'Submit' button any longer. I expected better of you! | | Changes have been made per your kind request. However, I didn't have to get the donut out of my mouth. Josh slapped it out for me tonight in Harriman. He showed up for the ride and kicked the whole affair up a couple notches. That ride hasn't been like that for quite some time. When he showed up I told him it was going to be the easiest ride of his life, and it would have been…if only he hadn't been there. His mere presence caused Mary to start half-wheeling Dan, who is of course, well, Dan, so he'd already started pushing the pace up 106—right out of the parking lot (read: Josh was there, and Dan has his obligatory "new rider" pace), from there on in, things just got progressively more rowdy. Final report is that both Dan and Josh had slapped each other senseless and were both breathing hard at the top of Tiorati. At least that's the report. I wasn't there to see it. I decided to be dropped right after barely surviving the 19+ climb up Lake Welsh. Fuckin' Josh. In any case, we're considering it a Harriman Ride Coup to get him to show up. We gave him a seminar on how best to get Joe Straub in his cross hairs. He'll be blowing through Kevin Haley to do it. So Pallet…looks like we scooped you with a Josh appearance...needer, needer, neeeeder. | |
| 548 | 7/24/2006 4:00:00 PM | Palletman | I'm really pissed off Slingshot. Will you please move the submit buttom to under the fucking comments box. It is very fucking confusing to have a submit button and a post comment button. I have just lost one great posting that I had composed all morning long. This is not the first time this has happened to me!!!!! And don't sit there and say "if you weren't such a fucking idiot Palletman you would have caught on by now" By the way Black Widow you really did look hot last Thursday. | | What is this, Palletman? A full frontal attack on my program? I am 181.6 lbs this morning, and would have been on my new bike tomorrow, if not for this little chore of yours. Now I have to stock up on donuts, and run through the submittal form's logic to see what can be done. Yo, Black Widow! Stop primping yourself, and run out to get me some yellow cake and candy bars, so I can work on Palletman's project. Besides, he's just saying that shit about how good you look, hoping you'll slow down and be nice. And Palletman, don't worry about losing what you wrote. Posting something here is just exactly like throwing it in the trash can anyway. | |
| 547 | 7/21/2006 10:47:00 AM | Palletman | What the fuck is going on here? Obviously nothing much! What is Slingshot up to? Considering the way he was riding last night, he must be spending all of his time on the bike leaving no time for his duties as President of ARC. So get the fuck off the bike, and let us know what's going on in the world of cycling in and around Orange County! As an aside, the Black Widow's ass looked very good last night. Black Widow you can stay on the bike, but get Slingshot over to the doctor, I think his vision was a little blurry last night. He was having trouble following the cue sheet. | | Nice writing, but I hate to be the one to tell you: nobody reads this rag anymore. And apparently nobody reads the cue sheets either. I hear the front group went on some kockeyed variation of hills to hell and back again. The only one who showed any sense at all was Twin Lynn. When she realized she had drifted back to be riding with Handago and me, she just quit and went home. BTW: That is the best excuse I ever heard for not being able to get past the Black Widow. | |
| 541 | 7/2/2006 9:57:00 AM | FrondeFusil | Q'est-ce que c'est ARC ? Qui es 'SlingShot' ? | | Speak English you fucking Euro frog! | |
| 531 | 5/28/2006 9:42:00 AM | SlingShot | There has been a lot of talk lately about how well I am riding this year, so I guess it's about time I gave up my secret. I have been working on a new program of my own design. It is an extremely refined and advanced technique which will soon be published in my new book titled: "ANOREXIC THRESHOLD TRAINING: the sure fire way to beat the bastards at their own game." Here's the way it works. You get down to your goal weight, then you take off just one more pound. Since the taking off of that pound means you have reached yet another goal weight, you are required to take off another single pound. This establishes a new goal weight, etc, etc. It never ends! | | Don't worry bucko. It will. | |
| 530 | 5/26/2006 10:14:00 AM | SlingShot | So today is the big Optimum service call day. Of course, our connection is now working faster than ever, so I told the Black Widow that our new policy is, "… start taking notes as soon as there is a problem. Then give 'em a week just in case it's merely upgrade problems." To which she replies, "Oh yeah. There was a recording about upgrades in NJ the first time I called them, but it didn't mention me by name or nom, so I figured I wasn't part of it." To which I reply, "Hmmm… you had an Internet outage, you phoned and got an 'upgrading' message, and you still harassed me for three days about your horrible, wretched life off-line?" When she phoned to cancel today's appointment, she got a new message that there are currently outages in Edison. Hello! That's a clue. Sometimes it's about somebody else. | | And she still wants to say it is MY fault! | |
| 529 | 5/24/2006 7:26:00 PM | Black Widow | PMan, that's why Slingshot is ridin' with you (and not me) today. | | | |
| 528 | 5/24/2006 2:18:00 PM | Palletman | Black Widow, based on the last chatter post you better setup an appointment for SlingShot with the Doctor. I think his meds have gone out of wack again. | | | |
| 527 | 5/24/2006 12:49:00 PM | SlingShot | Here's the deal. Maybe you can relate. For the last few days our Optimum Online Internet connection has been basically useless. This happens rather regularly, although these days several months pass between episodes. I have always given them a pass on episodic breakdowns in their service, because I know how hard it is to keep this shit running. Plus their service is actually sort of useful when it's working correctly. On the other hand, the thing I am never pleased with is the way I always get treated like I'm an imbecile every time there's a problem. Actually, it's Mary who gets treated this way, because I long ago decided I'd rather just cancel the service and go back to dial-up than deal with the bullshit. In any case, there is always a few days (or weeks) where they keep stepping us through "our problem," and the only actual response we ever get is when we start writing down particulars of the problem, then mention we've been keeping records of outages. That prompts an appointment for a "service call" which ends up with somebody calling just before the anointed hour, stating something like, "We found the problem in one of our routers." Last time it was a faulty wire coming into the building, or so they said. My educated guess is that during service upgrades things get fucked up, but either Optimum has no viable internal tracking and reporting system, so somebody on the phone could know about the problem and merely admit to it on the first call, or Optimum actively tries to keep the information from users… maybe because the promises that have been made about what the Internet can provide are pie in the sky absurdities, which can only be maintained as long as very few people actually use the service. In summary, we are now currently going through one of those periods, and I only shudder to think how Optimum must treat people who are somewhat (and rightly) insecure about their understanding of the technology, if this is the way they treat people like me who thoroughly understand the gadgets and are merely reporting: "Something is fucked up with Optimum Service!" The service call is scheduled for Friday. In the meantime, no online banking, no casual check-ins at the ARC site, no telling who is on the Endico site, etc. | | Of course, the way it should work is, “Mr. Fugett just called and reported the service has degraded again. QUICK, before anybody else on the node notices the problem, somebody track down which router has gone futz. Also, immediately send out his $300 check along with our thank you for the report. Oh yeah, and thank him again for providing all the great content (for free) that we sell to our users” | |
| 525 | 5/23/2006 1:35:00 AM | Bianchi | Let he who is without sin eat the first chipwich. As I recall Bob, I motioned to Crazy to grab onto my wheel after we reached the summit of Ridgebury, but asking Crazy to draft me would be like trying to hide a Mack Truck behind a telephone pole. I think you guys were hiding back there trying to catch the crumbs from Fuji Steves' poptarts. Everyone will be back from Spain, sounds to me like you have your work cut out for you with the Palletman this week, so eat up Bob—Emir of the Bianchi Draft. | | I am without sin (yeah, I helped dropped the motherfucker but have no apologies for it), so pass me that chipwich. In any case, like I said, it was Mike's own fault. Whenever I'm getting dropped, and somebody tells me to go faster, I always do it. It just never helps. I have no idea why CaliperGirl is so plugged in over this. She probably thinks it's a way to Kevin Haley's heart, when actually, Kevin is a heartless bastard. In any case, I'm not the least bit worried about those people coming home from Majorca. Do you really think I'm going to show up for a ride with people who can beat me? | |
| 524 | 5/20/2006 2:30:00 PM | CaliperGirl | The most aggravating thing happened on the Hump today. Crazy Mike pulled a half dozen Club riders hard into the wind, uphill, for about 2 and a half miles. Soon as he was wasted and the grade started to increase the whole bunch of 'em just dropped him pretty as you please… without so much as a thank you. What jerks. | | You don't understand Cal. I was there, and I can tell you it was Mike's own fault. Bianchi told him to go faster, but he just wouldn't do it. | |
| 520 | 5/13/2006 11:36:00 PM | SlamCrank | I'll have to finally agree with you Cal. Kevin Haley is pretty special. Really, anybody can help out Joe Straub. How hard is that? But today, Kevin blocked so that SlingShot could ride Doug Allen's wheel to be second to the top of Ridgebury. Now that's an accomplishment! Of course some credit has to go to that Levine numbskull, because he helped Kevin hold back Iron Mike Norton on the hardest parts of Ridgebury when he noticed Mike had gotten SlingShot in his sites. Paul yelled, "Don't bother. It would be too easy. Even I could do it!" Then he grabbed the water bottle in Mike's back pocket and pulled him back. That wasn't quite enough though, so Kevin grabbed Paul's arm to help add some weight. But Iron Mike didn't seem to notice as he pulled both to personal bests up Ridgebury. However, those Serotta anchors were still just enough to keep the group off SlingShot and Doug, who were already through Ridgebury before they finally got reeled in by Triathlon Mike first, then the crowd. Like I said, helping out Joe Straub is easy… but helping SlingShot? That takes some doing. Kevin gets all the credit, because Levine was only doing it to make the ride last long enough for all the fast riders to have to stop for pee breaks. That way, later, Paul could catch up and not be revealed once again as the total loser he is. Like Kevin said, looking down at his watch, "The Hump sure is long when you do it this slow." | | Yeah, and fuck you too SlamCrank. Also in attendance were Chester Pete, John, The Gapper, Dave, Patrick Saunders, somebody in grey tights, and Terry Bowden—who obviously missed having The Palletman there to protect him. Maybe there were others, but I was too delirious from worrying that I might have to ask the Black Widow (very strong on this ride) to order more Ridgebury Prime jerseys, so I could award one to myself. Fortunately, I couldn't beat Doug at the top even after he pulled all the way from the first hill on Maple Avenue…at my pace. He just kept saying, "I'm sure Dangerous is up there somewhere. We gotta keep going." As asides, Jerk Off Jim never showed up, but some guy in the parking lot was bragging about having grown up with Jimmy Nails. Surprisingly, nobody killed him on the spot, probably because he also said he was a cop. Oh yeah, Big Bianchi almost caught me even though he had to wait for all the other rides to leave before he could start his Hump. He would have caught me too, if those two women from the Pokers hadn't pulled me in. For the record, Paul did pull me back to the group during Dave's seven hour pee break. It probably wouldn't have lasted so long if the Black Widow hadn't cat called his faucet into a shriveled little hot pepper as soon as he pulled it out. In any case, everyone else was playing the race card. Big doin's in Harriman tomorrow. | |
| 519 | 5/12/2006 10:17:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Somebody said "The Jhonson" is currently in Amsterdam helpin' out the locals with train schedules, map directions, and browsing the ARC web site. I wonder if he is as cute as Kevin Haley? | | Somebody is a little bit too clever with their IP# tracking. Otherwise, it looks like just about everybody has gone Continental and forgot all about our little cycling site. No he is not. | |
| 518 | 5/11/2006 12:51:00 PM | Little Guy (Baby) | Thanks for the birthday wishes, and caviar dreams! The big three oh. I am told that from here on out my ass will only get bigger. Also, the only thing I have to look forward to now is wrinkles and my bigger ass getting probed by some doctor, that sucks!! | | Well, somebody sure held back on providing you the whole picture. Your actual prospects aren't really all so rosy as you describe. | |
| 517 | 5/11/2006 8:07:00 AM | Black Widow & SlingShot | Little Guy, Happy Fuckin' Bithday! We luv ya and not just cause we can kick your ass!!! | | | |
| 516 | 5/10/2006 8:39:00 PM | Paul Latrine | I take back any sort of bad vibes I sent Zirra's way. He has been an inspiration to all of us at Signture Cycles. Be well, my friend.
-Paul | | Geez, what is this? A bunch of hippie freaks having a love in? Too bad Palletman, Twin Lynn, Twin George, Jimmy Nails, the other Mary, and the rest of those road trip losers are out of the country playing International Jet Setting Cycling Star in Majorca. Nobody's around to set this shit straight. On the other hand, Paul is probably just trying to sell Zirra another $10k bike. | |
| 515 | 5/10/2006 8:37:00 PM | zirra | I give Paul all of the credit for any recognition that I may have recived for Triathlon, or cycling in general. Paul has been an inspiration to me, and he is my guiding light. | | | |
| 514 | 5/10/2006 2:19:00 PM | Paul Latrine | Just got back to the U.S. and reviewed Chatter Box. I guess Zirra's head is probably even bigger than his ass now. | | | |
| 512 | 5/8/2006 5:30:00 PM | Palletman | Glad to see you guys bonded so well together down in Jersey. | | Yeah, yeah…cute ain't they. Now run along and hide in Majorca with Lynn and the rest of your loser friends. Oops, sorry! They almost got me doin' it. | |
| 511 | 5/8/2006 4:44:00 PM | Brand New Bruce | I‘m feeling so strong after the Century that I can’t wait till Tuesday at Harriman, so I can kick some Pussy Boy ass. Yea, that’s right. I’m gonna kick (jack off) Jimmy’s and (douche bag) Dan’s asses so bad they’ll be puking my wife’s brownies till the middle of next week. As for (bullshit) Bob, Ha! Don’t insult me. He’ll be dropped so bad he’ll have to wait for that sandbagging Black (Bitch) Widow to come along and pick up the pieces—if there are any left that are big enough to worry about! This isn’t trash talk. This is just my prophecy. PS: If this IP address looks familiar, Dan let me use his computer to write this. | | Security breach! Security breach! The Marines have stormed the beach. Nuclear Dan is probably already dead. Somebody turn off his computer. | |
| 510 | 5/8/2006 1:09:00 PM | Zirra | I did not realize that the parry and dodging for the Tour de Goshen would start this early.
Puke away Widow. It is gonna be a long summer.
We all need to congratulate Frank, as in "I'm Not Happy Frank," for his Century Cherry, not to mention Slip shot for finishing his fastest century to date.
K | | I wish the Maniacs would come back to town and give all of you weenies the spankings you deserve. Your trash talk is about as robust as Brand New Bruce's, whose idea of harrassment is saying, "Wow! You guys sure are strong today." I'm starting to feel like puking myself. Don't make me start working out…I will! And where have you been, Zirra? We've already got a full head of steam bluffing for Tour de Goshen 2010. BTW: Kevin Haley is missing all of this, because he's just been hitting the home page, seeing there's nothing new there, then going off to ride. | |
| 509 | 5/8/2006 12:11:00 PM | The Black WIdow | I want to PUKE! | | | |
| 508 | 5/8/2006 11:36:00 AM | zirra | I am a mere salamander in the land of Komono [sic] Dragons, if you put me in the hills. .... As I am cramping, on the verge of a blowup, Dan pulls up next to me and asks gingerly, "So, when is the new bike coming in?" I am thinking, "Fuck the new bike! I got 50 more miles, and I can't keep this up for much longer." Dan on the otherhand fresh as a daisy. So, I am just pretending to be an athlete. Dan is the real deal.
Z | | Duh…Zirra, pay fucking attention will ya. Dan would never do such a thing unless he was deep in hurt, on the verge of blowing up himself, and trying to pull you off your pace. Only one better at that kinda shit is the PAULverizer. | |
| 507 | 5/8/2006 10:09:00 AM | NuclearDan | I just want you guys to remember I'm not the one who coined the phrase "DANtribution." This is a concept that only exists in the mind of Bob. I never claimed to be a good or strong rider. But I am flattered that some may precieve me as such. As for being an Orange Crush Pussy Boy? Yea. That's closer to reality. Anyway, I tip my hat to Zirra. He is definately my new hero. Thanks for the 100 mile pull! | | If you think making nice is going to prompt the screeeching Zirra to reach over and pick up a different train…well, you'd just better keep tight to your workout program. Plus, I didn't coin the phrase so much as merely notice the realities. But I'm sure Zirra knows a tactical ploy when he sees one. However, I guess there's nothing wrong with us making Godzilla the new "fastest gun" and sending him out to draw fire. | |
| 506 | 5/8/2006 12:11:00 AM | zirra | You guys have given me way too much credit for pulling. Like Jim said "Zirra did have those two token pulls."
If you guys want to come down off your lofty perches and dance in the flats I am your Huckleberry.
Otherwise, I will quote my Hero Kenny Rogers, "Know when to fold em…. know when to walk away…and know when to RUN.
- K
PS: I really don't want to upset Dan---Levine on the other hand---- fuck him. | | Very clever…cut the weakest from the herd. However, you probably shouldn't have pulled Jim into the mix, he never hurt nobody. Besides he meant that statement ironically, as in two token pulls: one for 45 miles, the other for 50. Still, your referencing of Val Kilmer as Doc Holiday in Tombstone is a nice touch. I have myself often mentioned that the subtle moves in a competitive ride closely parallel that little squint prompting Kurt Russel's, "Oh, my god," then the shootout in the same movie. Many's the time I've saved myself by noticing just the slightest twitch of somebody's trigger finger against their right hand hood. Guess the Kenny Rogers quote is a warning to “The DANtributionator” that his days as King of Duathlon are coming to a close, but I'm not here to instigate, only to report. To recap, you are pretty safe with the Levine sentiment. Most people agree, while he himself probably lost interest in your submittal as soon as it ran longer than a single sentence, and certainly as soon as it contained anything smacking of a literary reference. But that’s just my take on it. I always hide Paul's name deep inside a paragraph myself. That way I'm always flying under his radar. Brand New Bruce said last year he told his wife, "We are going out for a bicycle ride together in the park [Harriman]. Isn't that nice?" When he returned from the ride he said, "NICE?! We were all trying to kill each other!" Well, he was Brand New; but, being a former Marine, he caught on quick. My favorite quote of yesterday's Century was Frank saying, "Really, I can't keep up with SlingShot's pace. 26 mph is way too fast." But I was only just deserately holding onto Zirra's wheel and praying for a little bit stronger headwind to slow him down somewhat. Next time I'll keep in mind that Zirra can squat with nearly 1,000 lbs on his shoulders, and has a lot of motorcycling experience, which makes him fearless on turns…which he routinely dives into then slams about a dozen or so 500 lb per leg stamping jabs onto his cranks coming out. There's probably a whole slew of other riders who decided relentless surging Centuries ain't their cup of tea at all. | |
| 505 | 5/7/2006 12:28:00 PM | zirra | Super good time: I really enjoyed the ride. For the record, 23 sausage, egg, and cheese Mcgriddles is only 23,000 calories, and I burned 25K pulling the Orange Crush PB's around Jersey. So I went home and had a pizza, ya know, carbo loading for my 50 miler I am doing this afternoon.
So, when does this "DANtribution" happen? I was looking for it, but all I heard was heavy breathing, and something about, "I'm gonna fall back and check on Frank." Sounds awfully Leviny to me.
Z | | I thought long and hard about removing this from the Chatter Box before Nuclear Dan gets a chance to see it. Dan is kinda sensitive to this sort of talk. But I've really grown fond of Zirra over the years, and my decision is that it must stay published out of respect for Freedom of Speech. However, I must add a note to Nuclear. Dear Dan, when the DANtribrution finally begins to rain down, please leave something for the crows. And please don't mention how Frank was pulling me when we finally caught up to you and Bruce standing beside the road at the top of the first roller. Oh yeah, and extra thanks for not playing the Bob card. I'd better add a note to Zirra as well. Zirra, since you just HAD to pull Paul Levine into all of this, my guess is the boys will start working together so that as the DANtribution rains down, you are also likely to be PAULverized! -SlingShot | |
| 504 | 5/7/2006 9:42:00 AM | SlingShot | Man, that was an incredible Century. Zirra pulled not only us, but about 60 other riders who knew a good thing when they saw it, and latched on for the ride. Godzilla made sure that American Road Cycling dominated the front group. He very particularly did not allow anybody to pass us when we were soft pedaling—without them paying the price afterwards. Imagine the consternation of the people in the groups that went by while we were fixing Jim's flat at mile 3, when I told each group passing not to worry, we'd see them later, and we did. Soon as the flat was fixed, Godzilla took off saying, "Ok, 23mph till we catch the group." And I said, "Which group?" "The front one!" says Zirra. And we did—which only served to kick things up to around 26 before the splintering and droppings began. The big problem seemed to be those two guys that do Century Races and reported having finished one in 4.5 hrs. The most impressive thing was that Zirra did it all on a restricted diet. He only had 23 Egg McMuffins for breakfast. Unfortunately, we never did get to see Jim's paltry two orders of Micky D's breakfast pancakes make their reappearance, though Zirra had promised we'd get to watch their return around mile 80. Of course, as always, SlingShot was only there until the hills began and the dehydration set in, so he was already backed off the pace (dropped) by mile 80 and wouldn't have seen them anyway. He was also enjoying only an 18.9 average around mile 60, and missed things heating up again toward the end to bring everybody else up over 19, while his own went down to, well… good news is, this morning he's only 5.8 lbs away from his Ottrott despite two slices of pizza last night and a half dozen of the saltiest brownies Bruce's wife can make. | | | |
| 503 | 5/6/2006 7:52:00 PM | Humberto | No doubt SlingShot can pull 23 for the next Century. He can be my lead out. | | Everybody would go for the Lance, and even the Humberto, but when you try to impersonate Levine…well, you'd better loosen up the grammar somewhat. Good thing you didn't try to be SlingShot. Only Twin Lynn is allowed to do that. You know who you are. | |
| 502 | 5/6/2006 7:51:00 PM | Lance | SlingShot is welcome to pull me anytime. Great work, and remember: wear yellow! | | | |
| 501 | 5/6/2006 7:49:00 PM | Paul Latrine | I made it back from vacation just in time to see it with my own two eyes! Frank and SlingShot working like George and Lance to bring in the group at north of 19mph. Really amazing work! | | | |
| 500 | 5/6/2006 7:21:00 AM | SlingShot | Zirra! It's Century day. Get your ass up and get a move on! | | | |
| 499 | 5/5/2006 9:50:00 AM | SlingShot (I think) | Hi Zirra : )
Tomorrow morning. Looks like perfect weather.
We'll be at sign-in around 7:00 am. It's in the lobby of some building or another, over by one of the parking lots or another, far as I can remember. Dan knows how to get there, and Jim is bringing his walkie-talkie, so we can keep in touch with Dan.
It's going to be me, Dan, Jim, Frank, Bruce, maybe Stark. Frank might be kinda slow, and Jim is outa shape. Dan says the plan is to keep Frank in the ride, because it is his first Century. But the inside scoop is that Dan has no fucking control whatsoever over his emotions. Generally, we'll start a little late, then track down the first group we see in front of us, but when we get to them, Dan will decide they're too slow, so we'll go after the next group. After a hundred or so miles, we've usually passed them all. Well, usually by mile 25 we've got them all under control. Maybe if we can keep Dan behind you (effectively with blinders on) poor Frank might survive… assuming you might yourself remain somewhat restrained.
Hmm… oh, well. Guess Frank is fucked.
Paul's in Aruba or somewhere getting abducted, while other OCBC members might come to the Century, but I don't have contact with them. In any case, we'll just be nodding in passing them anyway.
Don't eat all the bagels before we get there. -b | | Uh, SlingShot: Unless you manage to take off 8 lbs by tomorrow morning, you are not going to make your goal of being under 180 by the first Century. | |
| 497 | 5/5/2006 12:40:00 AM | Slingshot | Meow! | | …:) | |
| 496 | 5/4/2006 3:47:00 PM | Palletman | Well if he was hallucinating it must of been on Moffart Road. But, like I said, the Doctor finally seems to have his meds under control (it's amazing what they can do with suppositories these days), so he wasn't hallucinating about my "granny" gear. Although Terry was the guy that picked up on it. Yes, I do ride with a triple ring on my bike. | | Geez Palletman, even Paul Levine knows enough to hide his granny as a compressed gearing faux double! | |
| 495 | 5/4/2006 2:30:00 PM | The Black Widow | Dear Palettman: Like always, I just try to do my best. BTW: I never heard of a AA ride leader with a granny gear. Was Slingshit hallucinating again? | | | |
| 494 | 5/4/2006 2:28:00 PM | Palletman | Dear Black Widow, I don't know what doctor you are taking SlingShot to, but he seems to have gotten his meds down just right. Don't change anything. He's lost weight, his new hairstyle looks great, and he's been downright sociable. Here are three examples: on yesterdays ride Terry Bowden flatted. SlingShot lent Terry a tube to finish the ride. At the end of the ride Terry states " SlingShot I owe you a tube." SlingShots response, "Terry, don't bother to replace the tube, but next time someone else flats give them a tube. Think of it as a random act of kindness to your fellow cyclists." Further into the ride SlingShot starts talking about setting up an endowment for the OCBC and how he wants to leave a legacy for Orange County biking. It raised an eyebrow with me, but I said to myself "maybe Twin Lynn was right, SlingShot is just a big pussy cat." Whatever the case I thought it was guite generous of him. Then at the end of the ride when SlingShot joined us for a cold beer I knew he was on the road to recovery. I was concerned how the alcohol might interact with his meds, but I said "he's an adult, he's knows what he's doing." He was quite a hit at the Trailside. | | I got your endowment, right here swingin'. | |
| 493 | 5/4/2006 2:27:00 PM | SlingShot | I don't remember any of that, but I am still real excited, because I have a new one, and I am crediting Terry Bowden. If, on yesterday's ride, Terry hadn't ripped me one, I'd still have only the old one. | | By the way SlingShot, you ain't no Palletman. | |
| 492 | 5/3/2006 10:06:00 PM | Palletman | To The Black Widow: Could you please come over to the Trailside Pub and pick up your husband. He's more or less passed out under the table, and has been hitting on the bartender again, who has threatened to call the police. Said if SlingShot pinches his ass one more time he's gonna kick the shit out of him. | | | |
| 491 | 5/2/2006 2:06:00 PM | SlingShot | Then Nuclear Dan showed up for our "easy recovery ride, flat spin," and we found ourselves on Brady Mountain Road with Dan beside us laughing, "Guess this makes us the Brady Bunch," on our way up to Upper Greenwood Lake and a drive by his house. A couple cookies and a little sports drink later, and the Black Widow could finally start the ride back. Like I said, Nuclear Dan showed up for our "easy" ride. | | And for some reason, you think anybody cares about your painful little world? | |
| 489 | 4/30/2006 4:09:00 PM | SlingShot | During today's Long Lollypop Ride, Doug was on his best behavior, and never douged anybody. Well, there was that moment in the beginning when he almost douged everybody (Humberto, Dangerous Dan, SlingShot, The Black Widow, and Paul) all at once, but Paul told him to wait for SlingShot, so the rest of the ride was slow enough for SlingShot to keep up. Therefore, no douging was necessary. Additionally, Paul may have finally broken his "Big Training Secret" curse (can't drop SlingShot), because he spanked the Black Widow real good on the last hill coming up to his house. Said Paul, "I just wanted you to remember who you are riding with!" Said SlingShot (from farther back), "I didn't want to reveal everything I've got." [Kevin Haley did not show up for the ride because he, "…wanted to do some hills before an upcoming race."] | | And SlingShot, if Humberto had not pushed you on Rt. 32 coming home…how would all this have worked out for you then? | |
| 488 | 4/28/2006 12:43:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Oh goodie, Fresh Road Rash! Plus the Ride Choice pages are newly automated and sorting much better. New stuff on the Help page says if you put a ride in for a date in the future, it automatically shows up under "Future," is moved to the appropriate day one week ahead of time, then disappears from publication after the date passes. Not to mention, you can always reschedule it with just a KeyTap. Man, if only that SlingShot guy was as cute as Kevin Haley. | | | |
| 487 | 4/26/2006 1:00:00 PM | Palletman | That's fine. I won't let you know if Smiling Jack Ass Joe Straub is showing up or not until 3 PM. That way you might drop a few more lb's thinking about it. | | | |
| 486 | 4/26/2006 11:39:00 AM | Palletman | Bring it on Black Widow. Name the place. | | Chester Train Station, 3:00 pm today? If you're worried about it, you might bring along your little girlie friend Joe Straub to help you. | |
| 485 | 4/22/2006 11:25:00 PM | Smiling Jack Ass | Slingshot, I wasn't smiling, the sun was in my eyes and there was no blood going to the brain! I knew it was you from a mile away, I could see the bones. | | Palletman: Get on the horn and inform your favorite Smiling Jack Ass that somebody is pretending to be him. The logs trace associated with this post has the stench of Frank Guarnuccio about it, but we should get a signed affidavit from Smiling Jack disavowing involvement just to be sure. Though if it was him, congratulate him for showing the good sense to bounce off the ARC site into the loving arms of Dr. Art, even if making the mistake of coming right back. | |
| 483 | 4/22/2006 9:24:00 AM | SlingShot | April showers! | | Fuck 'em. | |
| 482 | 4/21/2006 8:28:00 PM | SlingShot | Very funny, Palletman. I went out for my easy recovery ride. You remember (#481), in places I know for certain that Joe Straub never rides. On Lower Wisner I'm spinning easy when over that little rise I see a helmet. The guy is moving hard, spinning fast. So I likewise pick up my cadence, look strong. As we converge both of us are obviously trying to psych out the other, and I get a vague sense of recognition. Yep, you sacked me Palletman, by passing around my itnerary… it was that smiling jack-ass Joe Straub. I don't know what was more astonishing, all the speed, or all the posturing. Well granted, I was handling the posturing, while Joe was handling the speed; but then, cycling is a team sport. | | No, really, SlingShot. Stop writing this shit to yourself. | |
| 481 | 4/21/2006 12:39:00 PM | Palletman | SlingShot, glad to hear you're down the 1.2 lbs. Although I have to believe it had something to do with waiting for Joe Straub to show up for the ride on Wednesday afternoon. When I pulled into the parking lot you resembled, what might best be described as, "a wet cowering dog." Your reaction upon learning that Joe couldn't make it was that of a death row inmate that got an eleventh hour reprieve. By the way, the ARC membership is anxiously awaiting this year's shipment of Ridgebury Prime jerseys. Any idea when they will arrive? Please advise. | | Well, aren't you the glib tongued flatterer. I was really hoping to hold off on the Prime Jerseys till I lost enough weight to win one for myself. Looks like only about 95 lbs to go, but let me check with Mary to see how much my allowance is going to be. I was thinking if I offered to buy a membership at Straub's Gym, Joe'd promise to never again threaten showing up for a ride I'm in, but there might be enough left over for jerseys. In the meantime, you can mention to Joe I'm planning a ride for this afternoon, so I can work off a little more of this 95 lb weakling I've been carrying around. I'm sure he will find it very interesting, because I will be choosing roads that I am quite certain he never rides on. Tell him I'll post the start time and location just as soon as I get back from it. And thanks for caring enough to notice my condition. BTW: Everyone interested in a Ridgebury Prime Jersey should be aware that they are still not going to look like Patrick in it, even if they win one. | |
| 480 | 4/21/2006 8:03:00 AM | zirra (I think) | Wow, I must be good because i was gloating before I got home-the true question is:
MR Levine,
Flat or NO FLat????
only the widow and Paul know the answer!
Z | | I am not over trained, as i stomp my feet in a low blood sugar induced haze- | |
| 478 | 4/20/2006 11:44:00 PM | zirra | Nya, Nya, Nya, Nyaaa, Nya. I kicked the Widow's aa-yass. | | Nobody HERE is gonna deny it. | |
| 477 | 4/19/2006 4:33:00 PM | zirra | T-24 Hours
Z | | Don't you mean just under T-26.5 Hours? | |
| 475 | 4/18/2006 8:59:00 PM | Twin Lynn | That's right. Little Lance is NOT old enough to read this website. It's not because the language is filthy.(After all, he does live with me and no doubt hears all the bad words on a regular basis, often without any provocation). We're afraid he'll be subjected to topless Black Widow photos, causing irreparable damage to his impressionable teenage mind. Oh, by the way, Little Lance recommends the Purina One Big Dog formula. Double the dosage that's printed on the bag. | | As it turns out, you are right. A review of the American Road Cycling site reveals that all of the bad language herein combined comes not nearly to matching the ghastly horror that even the merest thought of a topless Black Widow evokes. Please give our sincerest apologies to little Lance for our posting of such things on the web, and special thanks to you for your kind suggestion as to what we should be feeding the Widow. Albeit, the dog food diet should have been obvious immediately on our viewing Twin George's last picture of Mary. | |
| 474 | 4/18/2006 1:00:00 PM | zirra | SlingShot--
What do you think this is Slowtwitch, with all of that Levine ass smooching going on--53 miles and he put a hurt in to Ya? PLease… Levine doesn't even own a bike anymore!
I heard he was running on a tread mill. We will shall see.
Z | | Paul is working on his Training Secret, so you may have heard any number of planted rumors. Actually, the tread mill one is true, but it refers to Signature Cycle's Discount Extension Outlet now in the heart of Manhattan's bicycle district. | |
| 473 | 4/18/2006 1:24:00 AM | Bianchi | FYI Bob, I went on the Space Farms ride with Little Lance on Sunday and found out that this kid climbs hills like a mountain goat and is like a mini Bianchi on the flats. He did the entire 43 miles without a problem, and he's small enough that even you won't get any benefit by drafting him. I saw him reaching into the back of his jersey and eating something. Turns out he was eating dog biscuts…. I told you he was a tough kid. | | Very funny. Stop having Dr. Art write your material for you. Also, no matter how tough Little Lance is, he is still not old enough to be reading this site. | |
| 472 | 4/17/2006 12:31:00 PM | SlingShot | We went on a ride with Paul yesterday. Did 53 miles using part of the Thursday night Dark Horse Ride as part of it. Paul made the Black Widow and me hurt real bad, and we don't like him anymore. If Paul asks anybody to go on a ride, don't go. | | Quit writing this stuff to yourself. | |
| 469 | 4/15/2006 4:01:00 PM | zirra | Were you guys moto pacing--- I thought Paul gave all his bikes to Guru and Seven, so they can see how it is done?
I think the bigger part of the saga is that Jason was pulling Paul up the hill, NOT that Mary was about to PASS them both.
P.S. I vote for Mary-
z | | What do think this is, SlowTwitch? Stop kissing up to Mary. BTW: American Road Cycling would like to make it clear that by haranguing you for treating this site like a lowly slow-ass tri forum, we are in no way implying that we will refuse the generous pull that you are about to provide for the entire Farmlands Flat Tour Century. We would hate to think we impeded your proving that you are a true cyclist and a man. | |
| 468 | 4/14/2006 12:11:00 PM | Paul | Mary’s interpretation of the hill coming out of Washingtonville was just that: her view of the world with her being the center. I was looking for Hal to come up on my right and slide by Jason. I slid to the left to allow Hal room to pass Jason. Mary was never part of the equation. The ride was about Jason, not Mary. But isn’t every ride about Mary… | | What do think this is, SlowTwitch? Nobody here gives a rat's ass what you think went on during the ride. We know exactly what happened, because Mary tells us what happened, and what we are supposed to think about it. BTW: Do you have any spare athletic equipment we can pass on to Joe Straub? | |
| 467 | 4/14/2006 11:26:00 AM | Black Widow | It was my fault Humberto took off, and I'm sorry. I should have kept my mouth shut. I thought he would find it interesting that we saw Palletman and Joe Straub doing sprintwork on the Heritage Trail. I read the ARC home page this morning, and realized that is exactly when Humberto shot off the front. Just as he was saying to me, "You mean they're doing that type of workout already?" | | Anybody with spare athletic equipment should bring it over to ARC. We are taking up a collection for Joe Straub. Hopefully a kayak, or luge sled, or something like that, will distract him from cycling, so the rest of us can get back to our cushy rides. | |
| 466 | 4/12/2006 9:07:00 PM | Guess Who | So, you do Love me! | | Not really. Just hate injustice. | |
| 463 | 4/9/2006 11:47:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Challenge to Slingshot: S, why don't you put your programming skills to work on this…. Design an application in which the user enters a start location, end location, and wind direction. The program calculates a route that will minimize headwind. | | Already did it, but I sure ain't sharin'. Besides, it proved to be pretty much useless, because all you gotta do is get behind "The Bianchi," and it doesn't matter which way the wind blows. | |
| 462 | 4/7/2006 11:39:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Calling Dr Art! Art, can you write something eloquent and entertaining for us? Slingshot's OK, but you're better. (Don't tell him I said that). | | Payback's a bitch, Lynn. Oh, Mary, could you do me a little favor over here? | |
| 460 | 4/7/2006 1:56:00 PM | Palletman | Come on SlingShot, is this the best you have to offer? What time Nuclear Dan and Palletman logged onto the ARC website! We come to you for the very latest in cycling news and who's fucking with who (not who's fucking who). You're the man. If you don't have any material make it up! By the way, how's the jock itch? | | Nuclear was on at 6:06:59 am, Palletman came on 6:10:10 am. This is very late in the morning for the both of 'em. My jock itch rash is all gone, but now I've got frostbite. Otherwise, I've only got one more week of greasing the plumbing once morning and night. I would have had more info about Bethel, but Glenn scurried off to catch the ride that had left a few minutes early to avoid having to deal with him. Plus, nobody left him a cue sheet on their car like they promised. BTW: As mentioned previously, we are trying to clean up the language here. Saying 'who's fucking with who' is now unacceptable. It should be 'who's fucking with whom'. I guess the word 'fucking' is itself ok, since Little Guy himself used it. This is all so confusing. | |
| 459 | 4/7/2006 1:41:00 AM | SlingShot | Regarding American Road Cycling's new editorial policy in response to Little Guy's complaint, #458. How the ---- is any ------- of the ------------- who make use of this ------------- site going to be able to -------- communicate if they are forbidden the exact words that best describe their ----------- sentiments. The --------! Am I now to refrain from telling the truth by such things as pointing out that Kevin Haley is a total ------ ---? Does this mean he will forever lose the nom of -------? You ----------- American Road Cycling scrotal excrements! What next?! | | Sometimes it is hard to decide when to leave it in, and when to take it out. -American Road Cycling | |
| 458 | 4/6/2006 4:41:00 PM | Little Guy | I must say that I am fucking apalled by the language on this fucking Chatter Box page. | | In response to Little Guy's comment, American Road Cycling has completed a full review of the Chatter Box postings and noted that the language has indeed degenerated of late. We offer apologies for our failure to monitor this situation, take appropriate actions, and maintain the highest possible standards for good taste and acceptable language. From this moment forward, any inappropriate postings will have all offensive language removed. We only hope this new policy will in some way mitigate Little Guy's shock at what he has found here. | |
| 457 | 4/5/2006 4:44:00 PM | zirra | When you have as many Kilos as I have, you really need to put out lots and lots of wattage in order to produce forward motion (i.e., final gearing 55-12). I would like credit for the gear size itself in addtion to remembering to leave it in the big ring. Tri bike ring is even bigger--- look out for it in the Farmlands Tour. Z | | From behind they all look pretty much the same, though yours is indeed truly noticeably larger. | |
| 456 | 4/4/2006 8:08:00 PM | FG | RE: SlingShot's response to comment #452... we love you, too!
BTW, was 'Zirra's new windchime placed in the big ring for the photo op, kinda like Bush staging excavators and 'dozers for his P-Op on the levees after Katrina? Just curious is all… | | Hmm, guess FG gets a big prize of some sort for noticing something nobody else gives a shit about. But now that he pointed it out, there is a pretty good chance that 'Zirra staged the whole thing. After all, he even went so far as to post two Chatter Box comments under an assumed nom. He probably never even hit the garage. Just did that to his bike trying to finally get his chain moved over to the big ring. We'll send out a CSI. In the meantime, let me look around here for a good prize for FG's eagle eyed, Dr. Art Grade, detail ledgering…nope, sorry, ain't got nothin'. Well, awareness is its own reward. | |
| 455 | 4/4/2006 12:26:00 PM | Palletman | That's the SlingShot I've heard so much about. Seems you really must be having a good day. | | If you had any balls, you'd show up for Harriman to scare the bjeesus outa Dan Buckley, and throw him off his training program. | |
| 454 | 4/4/2006 11:43:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Godzirra's bike looks nice. Is that a new paint finish that Serotta is offering? I really enjoy what he did with the top tube. It's nice to have the option to throw the top tube into some unsuspecting rider who is trying to pass. Kinda James Bondish, or even Kevin Haley-ish. | | | |
| 453 | 4/4/2006 11:39:00 AM | Little Guy | Gozilla's bike looks nice. I like what he has done with the top tube. Now when he gets done riding he can knock down buildings with his top tube. Or just throw it into some unsuspecting riders spokes if they try and pass him. | | | |
| 452 | 4/4/2006 10:17:00 AM | Palletman | Sounds like the doctor has you back on your original meds. People were starting to worry. Glad to see you're on the road to recovery. | | Recover this, Fuckhead. I'm not even on any meds. And as for recovery: my knee hurts, my back hurts, my legs hurt, and I hate all of you motherfuckers. I'm goin' back to Florida. | |
| 449 | 4/3/2006 6:06:00 PM | Palletman | Dear Slingshot, like Themis, I am blind to the fact that you are, or are not, a member of "that other bike club". What matters is the ride. So…….. Shutup and pull………. Oh, I forgot you did that last week. | | Stop trying to fuck up my reputation! I did not pull. I only pretended to pull. Actually, I was just coasting downhill faster than anybody else. Nobody else has the stomach for the downhills, while I have more than the requisite amount of belly. And here’s the Cliff’s Notes for the illiterate assholes who read this web site: Themis is that woman with the scales and blindfold you all call Justice. Of course, the double entendre here is a reference to Dan Buckley taking pity on me during the Unionville ride by coming back after I got dropped, then riding me blind as a reward, while poor Bruce just got caught in the cross fire. The subtext is Palletman’s attempt to schmooze me into leading a Poker ride. Fat chance. I refuse to ride with anybody as slow as I am. I ride with the AA’s, or I ride alone—which for me is the same thing. My knee hurts, my back hurts, my legs hurt, and I hate all of you motherfuckers. | |
| 447 | 4/2/2006 4:06:00 AM | SlamCrank | Cmon Cal', you've got to get over this Kevin Haley thing. It's a lost cause. He's probably gay anyway. Did you ever see him walk? | | | |
| 446 | 4/2/2006 4:04:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Actually, Howard was near a restaurant near the Opening, and Jimmy and Mary Ellen saw him. But SlingShot really did show up. Apparently he got so hungry after he watched Fuji Steve throw up on The Hump, he decided to go into the city and use the Opening as an excuse to eat. I hear that he incited Kevin Hetzel a little further toward pulling for the whole Flatland Century. Somebody also told me that Kevin Haley had a pretty new bike on The Hump. I'll bet he looks cute on it. Has anybody figured out whether we're going to call him BASTARD or DOUCHE BAG? Guess it doesn't much matter. He'll still be cute! | | | |
| 445 | 4/2/2006 3:58:00 AM | SlamCrank | I hear that Howard Stern was sighted at Paul's Grand Opening for the new Signature Cycles fitting studio in Manhattan. And better yet, SlingShot actually showed up. What's up with that? | | | |
| 444 | 3/31/2006 11:00:00 PM | SlingShot | I have never been so happy in my life to have made a preemptive Chatter Box strike. See how nice The Palletman had to be? He had no choice, given my hitting the Box first. Had to be nice, even after pulling so fast for the whole afternoon. As for us, it totally fucked up our attempt to take a nice leisurely ride in the country. We meant no harm. It never entered our minds that Purgatory repeats would enhance our riding speed and endurance. That is just plain silly. In any case, guess we’ll just have to flash the Pallet signal next time we’re going out. If you ever see a large spotlight outlining the image of a wooden pallet against a cloud in the Eastern sky, rest assured a ride is going out. If you don't see the Pallet signal, still rest assured there’s a SlingShot and Black Widow ride going out. It pretty much happens anytime there’s a blank space in the schedule. But we mean no harm. It is all in good fun. We have no interest in kicking anybody’s ass…except, well, maybe Palletman’s. –SlingShot | | Of course you are SlingShot. | |
| 443 | 3/31/2006 7:25:00 PM | Palletman | CAUGHT IN THE ACT! Slingshot and Black Widow were caught today in the act. It was quite a sight…. Traveling the bucolic backroads of Orange County to stumble upon the sight of these two doing…………….. hill training up Purgatory Road (I wonder why they chose this particular named road). I must say that the Shot does look good for this early in the season and the Black Widow is in great form. It was almost as if they didn't want anyone to know what they were up to. I mean, did anyone else see this ride posted? | | | |
| 442 | 3/31/2006 6:42:00 PM | SlingShot | Well, I AM SlingShot. | | Sure you are. | |
| 441 | 3/31/2006 6:41:00 PM | SlingShot | Look here. Apparently nobody can go out for a ride anywhere in the County without Palletman's spys reporting back to him, so he can track you down and fuck up your nice easy ride. Before everything gets all started, whatever Palletman has to say about me and the Black Widow… it's a lie. Pay no attention to him. Just remember we ARE fast, no matter what he says. | | Who the hell are you to speak for Slingshot! | |
| 439 | 3/29/2006 11:13:00 AM | zirra | HMMM I ride that Odd Man course all the time, since the camp where it takes place is a mile from my house, grueling--- ya think?? Boy you billy goats do get all upset when there are no hills to climb.
If the boys are racing the rest of the series, or perhaps the Ronde Mullica Hill this weekend, I am more than willing to let them use my hose to clean up.
Z | | They'd probably just as soon you keep whacking it your ownself. | |
| 437 | 3/26/2006 11:03:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Geez, I made changes to one of my Ride Choice rides, but it still doesn't show up on the "Select by Day" page… what's up with that? | | You have to click the "Check to publish ride" checkbox, on the heading just above the calendar thingy. I changed it to red, so it is easier to find. Sorry for the confusion. I will need a little more input from people using it to help me know what needs to be clarified. | |
| 436 | 3/23/2006 4:54:00 PM | Palletman | Apology from SlingShot? From what I have been led to believe by ARC membership this word did not exist in SlingShot's vocabulary. Obviously I have been mis-guided and downright wrong in forming my opinion of you. Then again, it could be that change in medication they say you've recently started…… I look forward to meeting the real SlingShot on the open roads of Orange County! | | It's the jock itch. | |
| 434 | 3/20/2006 6:08:00 PM | Grant Salter | That article about Hudson River Valley has me in tears. I can't wait until those jackasses search the web. They are in for such a big suprise. What is it called, Hudson River Valley Hudson River Guide. Does it have something to do with the Hudson River? Hudson River Guide that seems like a strange name. Bob I remember when you came to Paul's and showed us the Hudson River Guide, or was that the Hudson River Art? Either way I remember it having something to do with the Hudson River Art. I think Hudson River Galleries sounds ok too. Or Hudson River Gallery if there is only one of course. No maybe just Hudson River Art sounds better. C ya soon. | | What? | |
| 433 | 3/18/2006 3:13:00 PM | FG | Oh, and SlingSHot should have taken the YELLOW pill… trust me on this.. I KNOW! | | Yeah, I always preferred the Nembutal over the Seconal myself. Usually they gave me Thorazine in the joint though, which reminds me…is Palletman's LSD ride still going out? | |
| 432 | 3/18/2006 3:12:00 PM | FG | There's gonna be cake?!? SlingShot, I believe you meant your gonna kick those rednecks in their "tooth"? | | Pull back on the yak yak, dude. Somebody might get the impression this is becoming a Forum, or worse yet an online community. Nothing, I repeat, absolutely nothing online resembles a community any more 'n a hill full of ants resembles a society. BTW: Just how many IP#'s do you have? | |
| 431 | 3/18/2006 9:21:00 AM | CalliperGirl | Anybody notice the Ride Choice info for "The Hump" now includes a Cue Sheet link? Maybe Kevin Haley will be able to bring along a cute young admirer! | | | |
| 430 | 3/18/2006 9:05:00 AM | Nuclear Dan Buckley | You must be doing something right if both the "right"
and the "left" are battling you. I guess you're a
moderate. (I never thought there was any such animal) | | You are right. There is no such animal as a moderate. That is because both "right" and "left" strictly enforce the rule that if you ain't with 'em, yer again' 'em. Now, about that Harriman ride: You gonna udpate it yourself, or will I have to do it for you. You're not trying to hide the ride from Palletman, are you? You know, so he can't come kick your ass on Tiorati? Cake and Ice Cream for everyone!!! | |
| 429 | 3/18/2006 2:09:00 AM | Bianchi | In an effort to make some sense or maybe nonsense of this momentous occasion I would like to think that maybe ol'sling is going thru a mid-life crisis.After years of living in the sixties he has finally come to realize that no man is an island and if you can't beat them you might as well join them.So in a gesture of peace I would like to be the first to offer the olive branch and offer to ride by your side on the Saturday ride and when were done we'll go to the trailside and knockdown a few (rednecks that is) for old times sake.You should have taken the blue pill.Bianchi | | Now yer talkin'…knockin' down a few rednecks, maybe I WILL show up at the Pub. Here's the deal. We'll punch their lights out, ask 'em if they know where that grammatical error is, and when they can't answer, we'll kick 'em in the teeth again. Then we'll start all over. Life is good! Oh, sorry. My mistake. What I meant to say was that I would love to enjoy your company on a Saturday ride, and I will not push the pace in even the slightest.. | |
| 428 | 3/17/2006 11:26:00 PM | Palletman | Slingshot, one question that has been asked, and that I don't have an answer to is: have you had any recent changes to your medications? Some people have been saying that this could be the only explanation for your recent "social" behavior. I, for one, have no basis to make such judgements, in that, I have not had the pleasure in meeting you and/or riding with you. Based on our correspondence I have found you to be completly rational and lucid, albeit eccentric. I suppose the real test will be if you join a Thursday night Trailside Pub ride and partake in the post ride libations with fellow riders. Then, and only then, can it be said that Slingshot is really off his rocker or has joined society to promote the greater good. The Orange County bicycling community anxiously awaits your return! | | Man, Palletman. You are one funny cock-sucker. SlingShot…showing up for an OCBC get together…that is fucking rich! When the ride's over…I'm over. | |
| 427 | 3/17/2006 9:30:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Bravo to Slingshot for exposing the extreme Left for what they are: no better than the extreme Right. What a bunch of jackasses, the lot of them.
Slingshot, I can tell this really pissed you off, because you actually made a grammatical error.
Now that you've become A) sociable and B) a born-again club rider, will you now become C) a card-carrying member of the Republican party?
| | One would have thought the actual position and nature of the error could have been reported, so SlingShot doesn't have to dredge up the memories of an article written 3 months ago, placed on the web so the bots could find it, then held until Goolge and MSN had it within their sights, so as to best spring the news. Otherwise, yes. I have been a card-carrying Republican for many years now. Somebody has to watch the mother-fuckers. Well, actually I quit voting altogether after my experience with the Chester Planning Board, so I guess nobody's watching them anymore. But that should be apparent. | |
| 426 | 3/17/2006 3:44:00 PM | FG | Okay..what the fuck just happened... | | Your guess is as good as mine. -SlingShot | |
| 425 | 3/17/2006 10:51:00 AM | Palletman | Dear SlingShot, I was aghast upon reading about your recent censorship by yet another publication. All I can say is that you're getting it from both the left and the right, so you must be doing something right (or should I say correct!). However, the reason for my post is my concern about the following phrase "but SlingShot merely wanted to see the truth about the state of the arts in Sugar Loaf to be accurately portrayed in print just one time before he dies."
There has been much speculation in recent months about a kinder, gentler SlingShot in the Orange County cycling community. Hours have been spent trying to figure out "what the fuck he's up to." Could the above phrase have anything to do with it? Are you not telling us something? On the other hand, many believe recent reports about an increase in your training regimen. That your goal is to lure unsuspecting riders into believing that you are a sweet guy (kinda like a Venus Fly Trap) only to pounce on them while pulling you along on a ride. What is the truth? Please come clean. | | This is hard for me to answer, for I am not the aggressive sort. How anyone could have ever gotten the idea that I am in any way mean, or conniving, or deceitful, or out to kick your sorry ass…excuse me, I meant to say cause you stress in any way whatsoever, well, it is just beyond me. In fact I only but wish the best for every person who rides a bike. I even wish for all, not only their just deserts, but also the best and most lavish of desserts. Please remind whomever you may come in contact with that SlingShot is hoping they will avail themselves of the privilege to double up on their portions of ice cream and cake. In fact, that could not make me happier. Please also, Dearest Palletman, if you could but request all your fellow cycling enthusiasts to be even kinder to themselves by cutting back on their intervals just ever so slightly, as may please them, for I would never ever try in any earnest way to place my wheel in front of their own. You can trust me in this within the bounds of the most sincerest of fashions. Yours, in harmonious ride camaraderie, The Easiest of Going SlingShots. | |
| 424 | 3/13/2006 10:59:00 PM | Bianchi | Ode To Slingshot
You make us laugh, you make us smile
But we all know you've never pulled for more than a mile
You say that you have been in Florida training and are ready to take on the Palletman
Sounds more like Mary must have hit you in the head with a mallet man
You don't stand a chance
Not even with Little Lance
So you might as well stay in Florida with the gators and toads
And all those hills that back here we just call roads
As for me and Mama Bianchi
We'll be waiting for you at the top of Ridgebury
Bring it on Slingshot President of the other bike club
Lord of the draft , Sultan of the slipstream | | SlingShot is personally gratified to finally recive full credit for that mile he pulled during the years 2003-5, albeit in small increments over many rides and a long period of time. Also, this post has not the ring of the True Bianchi, nor his IP#, but that of UV26. Otherwise, everybody should be advised the original post contains verse breaks which aids in the scansion, but which are closed up by the transfer to HTML. | |
| 423 | 3/11/2006 11:50:00 PM | FG | Regarding the breaking News "SlingShot Arrested": I'm sorry to hear that you are "on the lam", but I'm sure you've heard the story about the two cowboys that worked on a ranch in Texarkansas or someplace like that, and one got bit on the pecker by a rattlesnake, and he quickly told his buddy that the only way he were to survive was if he sucked the venom out? Well, you know what they say... your on your own, bud! | | And, No.. this is NOT the alternate ending to "Brokeback Mountain"… [Hmm, new IP#, or a Faux FG?] | |
| 422 | 3/10/2006 2:43:00 PM | Palletman | SlingShot, I'm not one for starting rumors, but, while drafting the President of "that other bicycle club" at spin class last night, I thought I heard him say that you were staying in Florida because you couldn't handle the intensity of the workouts up here, and that he thought you would most likely have problems on the downhills this season as well as the uphills. | | Well, all that is true, but the real reason I'm still in hiding in FL will be the subject of an upcoming article titled: "SLINGSHOT ARRESTED." | |
| 421 | 3/9/2006 12:29:00 PM | zirra | I hear that the mark of a true cyclist is to pull for 99.8 miles and let sling shot cross the line first followed by his minions. is that true?
| | I don't know where you could have heard that. Sounds right though. Except SlingShot would NEVER try and pass his good friends at the end. You are not likely to find out, because everybody knows that you could NEVER EVER pull for that long. However, if you are a real good little boy, and do your training right, I might be able to convince Dan, Bruce and Jim to let you have a go at it during the Farmlands Century…but only if you think you are man enough! We'll provide the bagels and coffee, because we are nice that way. | |
| 418 | 3/8/2006 2:47:00 PM | FG | wow, man… the colors!! Look at the colors.. 'shroom, anyone? | | 'shroom, 'shroom, 'shroom | |
| 417 | 3/8/2006 11:48:00 AM | BranMuffin | LSD ride? What's next. Nuclear Dan bringing his little friend Jim The Assassin and smelling up the place with fartlek? | | | |
| 416 | 3/8/2006 11:40:00 AM | SlamCrank | I'm there with you Cal, but I wouldn't count on seeing Kevin Haley. Something was said about "distance." I'll bring my bong just in case. | | | |
| 415 | 3/8/2006 11:38:00 AM | CaliperGirl | SlamCrank, are you online?... I'm so excited! Did you see that Palletman is hosting an LSD ride? I'm goin' for sure. I haven't done this sort of thing since the 60's. Kevin Haley will be there no doubt! | | | |
| 414 | 3/7/2006 10:14:00 AM | SlamCrank | That's right. Nuclear always gets the jump on everybody. He's already getting ready for a duathlon. Not likely to see Kevin Haley there. You know how he is about the cold, the distance, the hills, etc. | | | |
| 413 | 3/7/2006 10:12:00 AM | CaliperGirl | I heard that Nuclear Dan's Harriman ride is starting today. Does that mean Kevin Haley will be there? | | | |
| 412 | 3/6/2006 5:26:00 PM | SlamCrank | Get real Cal. That ride is 100 miles. That is way too long for Kevin Haley. He says that a hundred mile ride provides far too many places for SlingShot to hide! | | | |
| 411 | 3/6/2006 5:23:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Hey, it looks like things are getting going for the Spring rides. Godzilla said he's going to the Farmlands Flat Century. Maybe Kevin Haley will be there! | | | |
| 410 | 3/3/2006 3:06:00 PM | Palletman | Workin Overtime…… that's rich comin from SlingShot. When I grow up I want a job just like you! | | Would that be a hand job, or a blow job? | |
| 409 | 3/3/2006 1:34:00 PM | Palletman | Slingshot, if you really want to play head games with that other bike club, get the Black Widow to lead a Sunday ride! Rumor has it she may be a card carrying member! | | The PALLETMAN…workin' overtime! | |
| 408 | 3/2/2006 11:51:00 PM | SlamCrank | Cal'girl… you know you're not supposed to mention Kevin Haley's name on this site… nor OCBC! | | | |
| 407 | 3/2/2006 11:46:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Looking for mention of Kevin Haley! | | | |
| 406 | 3/2/2006 11:45:00 PM | SlamCrank | So, what were YOU doing over at OCBC? | | | |
| 405 | 3/2/2006 11:44:00 PM | CaliperGirl | From what he's learned from the ARC logs, SlingShot suspects the whole thing over at OCBC was put together singlhandedly by Palletman. It looks like it took up so much of his time, he even missed a couple of his regular visits to ARC. Slingshot figures that means Palletman can't be riding very much… so his ass will be VERY easy to kick in the Spring. Slingshot likes to think about things like that. Gets him very excited. | | | |
| 404 | 3/2/2006 11:38:00 PM | SlamCrank | So… why's he all excited about it? | | | |
| 403 | 3/2/2006 11:37:00 PM | CaliperGirl | He only knew about it, because he saw from the American Road Cycling web logs traffic that something must be up over at OCBC, so he sent the Black Widow over there to see what it was. She reported back that there was a new Calendar with rides, etc. | | | |
| 402 | 3/2/2006 11:34:00 PM | SlamCrank | Yeah, I've seen it. Pretty cool. Why's Slingshot all excited about it? | | | |
| 401 | 3/2/2006 11:33:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Have you seen the new Calendar on the OCBC web site? Slingshot's all excited about it! | | | |
| 397 | 2/18/2006 10:51:00 PM | SlingShot | The apostrophes problem with the Ride Choice edit screens has been fixed. Use 'em or lose 'em! | | | |
| 396 | 2/17/2006 1:28:00 PM | FG | Sling's on to us, Lynn! He's a real fart smeller..I mean smart fella. As far as Sling being "approchable", just remember to: never make eye contact; flail your arms to make yourself appear larger than you really are; and never..never, turn your back on him to run. And if attacked, just curl up in the fetal position and protect your head & neck.. he may get bored with your sorry ass and move on to easier prey. | | And when all else fails, just toss him a doughnut and tell him to go shit in the woods. | |
| 395 | 2/17/2006 9:54:00 AM | Twin Lynn | I'm stunned that ARC has a Rides page now. Does this mean that Slingshot might join one of my rides? Does it mean that I am invited to his rides? Actually it seems that the general public is now invited to his rides. Does this mean that Slingshot is capable of social behavior? | | Nice try Frank, but you don't look anything like Lynn. We are going to reward Lynn for your indescretion by giving her a special form just for her Majorca trip. And Frank, you are totally aware that SlingShot is not capable of even the slightest behavior which could be considered "social." He has always made his way solely by being the bottom of the pecking order, a condition which many people confuse with him being "approachable." The only thing remotely social in SlingShot's behavior is his propensity for talking about himself in the third person, and calling himself "we." | |
| 394 | 2/16/2006 11:51:00 PM | SlamCrank | Stop it CaliperGirl. You are mos def gonna get kicked off this site! Twin Lynn has already lodged a complaint against your presence, and taken full control of her rides page. | | | |
| 393 | 2/16/2006 11:49:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Hi Zirra, I'm a Caprihorn. Did you hear about FG putting something into the Rides Test? SlingShot says the form has been tested in Ohio and NY. Maybe you'd like to slip something in. You haven't happened to see Kevin Haley around anywhere have you? | | | |
| 392 | 2/16/2006 11:36:00 PM | Zirra | BIG----CUTE_-----_---my scaley skin is blushing==
Caliper---HHHHEEEEEEEYYYYYY what is your sign?? | | | |
| 391 | 2/16/2006 6:57:00 PM | CaliperGirl | So he can see if the fucking shit works! | | | |
| 390 | 2/16/2006 6:56:00 PM | SlamCrank | Why you think he's waiting for all that? | | | |
| 389 | 2/16/2006 6:55:00 PM | CaliperGirl | He thinks Palletman, at least, should put actual ride info into his Ride Choice, and Frank should put something (anything) into the test form. And he can't decide if the new IP# that tried to open Bianchi's form last night was Bianchi, or somebody else. He's expecting Lynn should be back for another try sometime this evening. | | | |
| 388 | 2/16/2006 6:51:00 PM | SlamCrank | Say Cal, what's SlingShot waiting for? | | | |
| 384 | 2/15/2006 2:11:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Yeah. Zirra's cute… big and cute. Speaking of cute, has anybody seen Kevin Haley today? | | | |
| 383 | 2/15/2006 2:10:00 PM | SlamCrank | I just heard that Zirra did a lot of work helping SlingShot confirm the rides forms are working right. | | | |
| 382 | 2/15/2006 2:43:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Word has it that Lynn and Bianchi have finally seen the new RIDES pages, but Lynn opened only Bianchi's, while neither of them tried the update functions. Very strange. Maybe it's because of the link error that still hooked the navigation bar RIDES to the old EVENTS page instead of the new directory. Maybe its because the new pages are incompatible with FireFox browsers. Things are pretty small in NetScape, so who knows! Something else too. Somebody said the old news is still being updated without mention of it on the home page. Really very strange! | | | |
| 381 | 2/15/2006 2:41:00 AM | SlamCrank | What's up, Cal? | | | |
| 379 | 2/14/2006 8:39:00 AM | SlamCrank | I'm sure he already does. | | | |
| 378 | 2/14/2006 8:37:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Click the "Rides" button on the home page. The pages are still pretty rough, but it sure is nice being able to get the latest information about rides, all in one place, posted by the leaders themselves. Anyone can look at the rides, but updating the information is password protected. I wonder if Kevin Haley is going to offer a ride? | | | |
| 377 | 2/14/2006 8:33:00 AM | SlamCrank | Where's that at? | | | |
| 376 | 2/14/2006 8:32:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Well, it looks like they got the rides directory setup so the ride leaders can post their own information. | | | |
| 370 | 2/13/2006 11:25:00 AM | SlamCrank | Shut the fuck up Cal, you've already been warned about using this forum as your own personal dating service. | | | |
| 369 | 2/13/2006 11:23:00 AM | CaliperGirl | I know. Somebody said Dr. Art's form still works too. Anyway… have you seen Kevin Haley? I know he never looks at the Chatter Box, so he doesn't know I'm looking for him. | | | |
| 368 | 2/13/2006 11:22:00 AM | SlamCrank | Doesn't make any sense. | | | |
| 367 | 2/13/2006 11:21:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Somebody said SlingShot wanted to leave something functional, so he's putting together password protected input forms for listing rides, and ride changes. It's for the ride leaders to use. He's starting with Lynn. | | | |
| 366 | 2/13/2006 11:20:00 AM | SlamCrank | Nobody seems to know. Obviously the web site has been totally shut down, but now there's that "Rides" button and the "Sponsors (NOT)" button on the home page. Plus I don't know, well, why do YOU and ME still have access to the Chatter Forms? | | | |
| 365 | 2/13/2006 11:17:00 AM | CaliperGirl | What's all this about ARC shutting down? Lynn's photo was on the home page, and I saw some new stuff in the archives. What's up with that? | | | |
| 364 | 2/10/2006 12:51:00 AM | Jhonson | Yep, I am with ya Shot, can't allow that kinda thing to go on here, there has to be moderation. BTW, send caliper my pic when you get time. -j | | Sure,....clothed or unclothed? | |
| 363 | 2/9/2006 10:15:00 PM | SlamCrank | Jeez…. women! | | This aint the place for this kind of talk. -Shot | |
| 362 | 2/9/2006 10:01:00 PM | CaliperGirl | I'm too shy. Besides I don't think he even knows who I am. I just think he's sooooo…. CUTE! I can't believe it. I talked to the girls from the Advil team when they showed up for the Hump, and none of them even knew who he was! | | | |
| 361 | 2/9/2006 9:58:00 PM | SlamCrank | Why don't you tell him yourself? | | | |
| 360 | 2/9/2006 9:54:00 PM | CaliperGirl | If anybody sees Kevin Haley, tell him CaliperGirl has been asking about him. | | | |
| 359 | 2/8/2006 11:48:00 AM | FG/FC | Now you went and hurt my feewings.. | | | |
| 358 | 2/7/2006 10:47:00 PM | FG/FC | Dude, now you're really scaring me. I feel like I've been Lo-Jacked. Now where is that implant… | | Since the implant is extremely photosensitive, it has been placed appropriately. Just open your eyes. It is sure be within eye shot. - SlingShot | |
| 357 | 2/7/2006 2:50:00 PM | FG/FC | The photo of "Sui-SlingShot" is quite entertaining.
Note to Bianchi: I'm never, I repeat.. NEVER, tucked in behind you the morning after Burrito Night at Hacienda.. I've learned my lesson the hard way. | | Words of wisdom. Boom! | |
| 356 | 2/7/2006 1:41:00 AM | The Johnson | Regarding SlingShot's notes prefacing my last email: Wow, 1,887. Nice. Assuming an average response time of 15 minutes (which is very liberal indeed), that would equate to 900 seconds per response, indicates 28,305 minutes total time or 471.75 hours total time or 19.65625 twenty four hour days or 2.808035714 seven day weeks creating those emails…… hehehe. Sorry, just some analysis. Working in a call center makes you think of the damndest things..:) | | /articles/Mail/MemberMail0026.htm | |
| 355 | 2/7/2006 12:29:00 AM | Bianchi | Geeeeeze FG, you must be dug in there tighter than an Alabama tick. By the way, I like my pasta al dente. Looks like I'm going to need a camera behind me just to see who's back there. Good thing I have my own bodyguard. | | Stamped and Certified Genuine Grade A True Bianchi. - Shot | |
| 354 | 2/6/2006 1:19:00 PM | FG/FC | Yes, Sling, I know you corrected it. The comment was indirectly directed (duh, HUH?) at someone north of the Ridge, man... And as far as Bianchi's proclamation of "No Draft For You": Given my stature (or lack thereof), I've been tucked safely behind him on every ride for the last 4 years without him knowing....shhhhh. So... maps of the vast canadian oil fields have been burned, tunnels have been sealed, until Faux Bianchi sees another chink in the armor (or is it armour), I'm putting on a pot of spaghetti & meat bulbs to wait this one out. | | I'm thinking it is 'armoire', and there are lots of chinks, but only because of all of the used coffee cups in it. That is to say, lots of jingling but not much in there when you get there. The Widow hovers on the brink of making me stop all this nonsenses anyway. In any case, your Bianchi drafting secret is safe with us. It is in nobody's interest to let the much used "hide behind the Bianchi" ride survival technique out into the public domain. | |
| 353 | 2/6/2006 2:07:00 AM | Bianchi | Looks like somebody always has to take kindness for weakness FG. Anyway, no soup for you, no draft for you and definitely NO BROWNIES FOR YOU!!! | | SlingShot is so fucking proud of himself, for his successful reading of an attempted border crossing incursion. Or was it…? | |
| 352 | 2/5/2006 10:26:00 PM | FG/FC | Oh, I thought that was the canadian version… sorry | | Ok, I did misspell, but corrected on your mentioning it. | |
| 351 | 2/5/2006 8:32:00 PM | FG/FC | Um.. you spelled collateral wrong. | | Did not. | |
| 350 | 2/5/2006 7:34:00 PM | FC/FG | Well, it seems I have drawn a blank (again). Talk about making a Tiorati Brook Road out of a Kain Road... WOW! It seems I have managed to stump/perplex/stupify/confuse, and even scare canadian reindeer into producing copius amounts of fertilizer. Hell, even Bianchi was dragged unnecessarily into all this.. poor fellow. My apologies! Damn, mom was right again.. i'm a friggin' troublemaker, and I don't even have to try! SlingShot, someday I will explain, but you'd never believe it. Mary might, but you? Never. Enough for now.. I'm outta here like the tide in the Bay Of Fundy to see Dr. Art ("When I'm not crackin' backs, I'm smokin' crack!") Donohue & confess. | | Hmm, guess the ol' FG couldn't take the pressure of being shut down while taking out a dozen or so hapless bystanders with him as collateral damage. | |
| 347 | 2/5/2006 2:47:00 AM | Bianchi | OK Bob, what in the wide wide world of sports is going on around here. Who's on first, and I don't know is on third, and by the way, who's flying this plane?
Looks like every miscreant, or should I say President, wants
to impersonate me. See what happens when you have all Chiefs and no Indians? These guys don't even know who Eduardo Bianchi was and probably can't even create half the draft I can. The real Bianchi is standing up, or should I say… shutting up and pulling.
Bianchi,
Esteemed OCBC and ARC President,
"Celeste and brownies run through my veins." | | Well, UV01, you can't push your way in here pretending to be the Bianchi. NO SOUP FOR YOU! | |
| 345 | 2/3/2006 8:41:00 PM | Faux Pas | Yes, I did notice the counter, as well as the fact you are com, net. And org. inclusively in my thorough reading (and enjoyment) of your site. I do take exception to your rather skewed notion of Manifest Destiny when you define America geographically to include more countries than your own and then say the membership is open to all U.S. citizens… Perhaps your Foreign Correspondent is planning a coup north of the border? With all due respect, I will point out a small grammatical error on the book page of Mary’s site, which should read “their” instead of “there”, in the sentence beginning “Curators and gallery … ” (See, I did read it all… )
You may be stumped, but my presence here seems to be the most exciting thing to happen to your site since… ever, I’d say *-) I will leave as soon as F.G. the F.C. confesses as to his activities of late...
Respectfully submitted.
(And I do own a bike so that counts for something, right?) | | Yo Frank, quick, burn those maps of the vast Canadian oil fields, then get on the horn with your little friend Palletman, and have him confirm how long Bianchi has been on vacation. Keep this hush, hush, and remind "The Pallet" not to tell anyone about the inquiry. Also make a note that ARC should restore the link to the Copperhead sightings back to the home page. I've gotta go do some copy editing at Endico. -Shot | |
| 344 | 2/3/2006 4:42:00 PM | UV12, a.k.a. Faux Bianchi | Rather surprised you haven’t decoded the pattern of hits to your counter as the "Faux Bianchi Sequence" by now: 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, …
Guarnuccio, some of us are a bit skittish up here on the other side of The Ridge, man… you’ve been scaring the pellets outta the reindear the past couple of days, and your webmaster is about to wet his pants... So - did you want something, Frank, or are you just taking your responsibilities as Foreign Correspondent very seriously? :) | | The hit counter runs bass-ackwards, so we were confused, but we'll defer our response to the FauxBeau to come from our FC, FG. He'll probably mention that the ARC .com, .net, and .org sites are all the same thing, in case the FauxBeau was wondering. It really has to be up to FG our FC, because SlingShot it totally fucking stumped. | |
| 343 | 2/2/2006 10:14:00 PM | NeederNeeder | Bianchi has this bookmarked, Bianchi has this bookmarked, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah! | | BTW: People rarely add to this page, so Bianchi wouldn't really need to keep checking it compulsively like he does. Plus Bianchi is trumped by Palletman who, now that I'm looking at it, has bookmarked to Favorites, both this page AND the home page. | |
| 341 | 2/2/2006 12:28:00 PM | Frank | It's a conspiracy, I tells ya! | | What conspiracy? -Bianchi | |
| 340 | 2/2/2006 11:14:00 AM | Nuclear Dan | I'm still younger then you!!!!!!!!
I am lovin' it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
alrightythan
db | | | |
| 339 | 2/2/2006 11:13:00 AM | Black Widow | Hey Nuclear Dan-
Happy Birthday you OLD MAN !!
I am Lovin'it !!!!!!!!!! | | | |
| 338 | 2/1/2006 7:10:00 PM | Frank | Hmmmm... Canada, eh? | | Shut the fuck up, Bianchi! Do you really think you can wander onto this site using Frank's IP# and expect to get any respect? | |
| 337 | 1/31/2006 11:41:00 PM | Bianchi | Harassment… what harassment? The only harassment you're going to see is his-assment, meaning the backside view of Little Lance as he goes by you on Ridgebury. Play nice Bob, or I won't let you draft me, I'm down to two hundred pounds and counting. Me and Little Lance are looking forward to your eminent return. | | Shut the fuck up, Frank! You can't have one of your friends in Canada use a Google search for your own name to get onto this site and think it will go unnoticed. To punish you, this IP# is being credited to Bianchi anyway. | |
| 336 | 1/30/2006 5:33:00 PM | Dr. "Artie" Art Donohue | Well Bob, I've been to the viewing room and I've seen it, the latest episode of "So you want to be a mechanic for Paul." Very clever stuff in this episode. Walt from Cyclesport in Park Ridge, New Jersey is pitted head to head with a janitor from the Port Authority Bus Terminal. The challenge? Build an entire Cours d'Acier bicycle with a Campy Athena grouppo. Paul, seated in a directors chair, fires the starter field artillery cannon, and the fun begins. (Once Walt regains conciousness). Some of the heckles from Paul are legendary, especially those directed at Walt. Whilst Walt attempts to figure out the headset press, Paul remarks, "It's trickier than a Trojan vending machine isn't it Walt?" The fabrication continues as Walt attempts to cut the fork steerer tube to the appropriate length and errs on the short side. Hysterically, Paul offers Walt a hacksaw to cut off the headtube extension and comments, "I know it's not a crowbar Walt, but you'll figure it out." In the end, a frustrated Walt reduces the frameset to small pieces, and is given partial credit for making a Serotta xylophone. The victor? Tyrone, our janitor friend from the Port Authority Bus Terminal. He reports delight at his accomplishment. When asked if bicycle mechanic know-how is a hobby of his, he replies, "Up until today the only thing I've ever done well was clean the urinals in the men's room." Upon hearing this, an enchanted Paul Levine offers him not only a job, but Grant's position. Said Paul, "Grant NEVER does a good job on the urinal here in the shop." | | | |
| 335 | 1/29/2006 10:13:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Done. | | | |
| 334 | 1/29/2006 10:03:00 PM | SlamCrank | Got it! | | | |
| 333 | 1/29/2006 9:50:00 PM | SlingShot | Hey, SlamCrank and CaliperGirl. You guys haven't submitted your Membership Forms yet. Don't forget to do that before you get any more cozy with yourselves. -Shot | | | |
| 331 | 1/28/2006 10:27:00 AM | SlamCrank | Who? See ya' there, Calip' -Crank | | | |
| 330 | 1/28/2006 10:26:00 AM | CaliperGirl | I'm going. Do you think Kevin Haley will be there? | | | |
| 329 | 1/28/2006 10:24:00 AM | SlamCrank | Hi, Anybody goin' to the Hump this morning? | | | |
| 328 | 1/27/2006 5:27:00 PM | Frank | It's all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye... | | Or Chester Pete shows up. | |
| 327 | 1/27/2006 3:43:00 PM | Frank | Based upon Slingshot's "Cycling Words of the Day", either his skivvies are too tight, he's injured, or HE needs to up HIS lithium dose (or any combination thereof). | | Shit, sacked again. But I don't have to taken any action whatsoever. The local Dr. Art just shoved a cattle prod up by bumm. Now everything's all tingly and better. Think I'll go out for a ride. 78° and Sunny. - Shot | |
| 326 | 1/26/2006 4:19:00 PM | Johnson | As for moving to the new Verizon Treo 700, I am in wait state right now. All I have to do is look at the several devices still lying about to put it all into perspective. In the end though, it will all be a moot point. Once I get the bug it is just a matter of time. I keep going back to the Toshiba/Sprint device usage. We actually sat at a bar 40 miles from the print shop sending .pdf files to be rip'd and plated via remote access to the print shop. Then of course, remoting into my own machines, accessing the web based contact pages that were hosted both on my own box and yours via IIS/SQL, telneting into shells that I own and/or share with others. All of that stuff worked before. That kinda stuff is major wood factor. In any event, I will report back once I take the dive. I am off to argue with higher education. I have a Math class pre-req that for all intents and purposes has not been offered during a time frame I can attend--and there's no web based equivalent course. Only 2 classes scheduled for the last few quarters. Someone is going to have to do something, because testing out of it is not an option for me, for sure. -j | | Hey Geekazoid, This site is for CYCLING! BTW: Looks like you've got some sort of sexual anomaly goin' for you, if this sort of shit gives you wood. Clever how you got that bit of an advertisement in for Verizon though. What are you? One of their help desk operators or something? | |
| 325 | 1/25/2006 9:33:00 AM | CaliperGirl | Kevin Haley is cute!!! Why is everybody always picking on him? | | Why not? | |
| 324 | 1/24/2006 2:38:00 PM | Zirra | The statement is to be read like this: "I'm an arc-head, signaturecycles-head, serotta-head-----and of course, I'm a -----DICK-HEAD."
My status is only further solidified by these remarks.
Z | | Well, of course we knew that. Why would you even feel the need to mention it. Couldn't you have just said, "Hi, My name is Kevin, and I'm an ARC-aholic." But we bet you really meant to say that you are an afficionado of the chamois boa. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Some of my best friends are. Speaking of Mary Ellen, she knows the length of a lot of things. Maybe she knows how long women's boxing rounds are, and what kind of workouts those people do, so we could tell that new young girl WDundee, who was asking. | |
| 323 | 1/24/2006 11:26:00 AM | Zirra | I do not own any copies of broke back mountain! I don't care what Paul tells you. | | We don't care what Paul tells us either. Still, you insisted that you harbored a great love for all things ARC with DICK included. Something about ARC HEAD, SIGNATURE CYCLES HEAD, etc. Well, in any case, the nested statement was noted by some people. | |
| 322 | 1/23/2006 8:37:00 PM | PantSnake | Did Zirra intend to come out of the closet with his 1/19/2006 3:23:00 PM post, or was it an accidental outing? | | | |
| 321 | 1/23/2006 7:12:00 PM | Chuckie | I want to know if the Bush administration has requested any of the secret
files that are kept on this membership. I would hate to find out that my
Assos ass cream has been "bugged". | | The only secret is the number of people listed as Members who have never even heard of American Road Cycling. | |
| 320 | 1/23/2006 2:50:00 PM | SlingShot | Jimmy Nails hot or anything? That's it. NO SOUP FOR YOU! | | | |
| 319 | 1/23/2006 2:49:00 PM | WDundee | Hi again Mr. SlingShot, thanks for the information. I think I'll design my training for 2 minutes and 45 second hard aerobic efforts, ending with 15 second anaerobic flurries. That should suit my purposes well. I know I can count on you not to mention this to anybody. I am just a sweet young girl with an interest in cycling. Nobody should be at all concerned about me and my training plans. Except maybe this interesting web site of yours would be a good place for a waifish young beauty such as myself to meet people. I see there's a lot written about Jimmy Nails. Is he hot or anything? | | | |
| 318 | 1/23/2006 2:41:00 PM | SlingShot | Hi W, Thanks for waiting. My web search found that boxing rounds for women used to be 2 minutes, but now are 3 minutes. Best I can tell. -Shot | | | |
| 317 | 1/23/2006 2:19:00 PM | WDundee | SlingShot, there must be some mistake here. My name is not really famous, as far as I can tell, and it has no connection to my question. I am just a young girl interested in cycling, and I have an inocuous interest about the timing of women's boxing rounds. My request should not be sending up any red flags whatsoever, and my name is meaningless. I am absolutely not related at all to the Black Widow. -W | | | |
| 316 | 1/23/2006 2:10:00 PM | SlingShot | Hi WDundee: I'm SlingShot, and it is my duty more or less to keep tabs on what comes into the Chatter Box. I'll do a web search and get back to you about the rounds time. I have some interest in it myself. BTW: You have a bit of a famous sounding nom. -Shot | | | |
| 315 | 1/22/2006 10:20:00 PM | WDundee | Hi, I'm a young girl who is new to cycling, and this is an interesting web site. I'm wondering if somebody can give me some information. I want to focus my workouts for a particular race and am hoping somebody can tell me how long rounds last in women's boxing? Thx. -W | | What's this? | |
| 312 | 1/21/2006 11:16:00 PM | Twin Lynn | I knew the answers. I didn't have to CHECK. Duh! It wasn't exactly the NYT crossword. | | Yeah, but you would have missed that beautiful picture of "he whose name must not be spoken." Plus ARC would have missed out on your spouting off about it to all those people of whom you are in charge. | |
| 311 | 1/19/2006 6:23:00 PM | Zirra | Zirra approaches the Podium--
Hello My Name is Zirra and I Have a problem--
I am addicted to ARC. YES I AM AN ARC HEAD---
Well for that matter ------------------------------------I am A SLING SHOT HEAD, SIGNATURE CYCLES HEAD- SEROTTA, GURU, DURA-ACE, DICK, SPIN BITCH, GRANT---HEAD.
THANKS FOR YOUR SUPPORT ON THIS FIRST STEP OF 12
K | | Can't wait till you get to the step wherein you apologize for this post. | |
| 310 | 1/18/2006 11:58:00 PM | Frank | RE: Random Ass Browsing Award
SlingShot, Thank you so much for the award.. it will look nice on the mantel, tucked in between my "Pain In The Ass 2003" trophy & the "You could piss off the pope" certificate my wife gave me last week. My family tree even suggests that I am part Browser. Actually, I come from a long line of Browsers, so I really didn't have to put much of an effort into winning.
Thanks Again, and regards to Mary. | | | |
| 307 | 1/18/2006 3:47:00 PM | Black Widow | Hi Dan, Glad you liked your gift. You know, Bob has a pair just like them and maybe you both can wear them for the spring century.
I hurt my back last week doing yoga and now have immense sympathy for you and Bob. I am trying to rest it but I am losing my patience. Its been very windy but the temps should be in the 80s this weekend and I know I will want to bike. I did manage to to a personal best on the 20 mile tt loop before this happened.
As for Jimmy's secret plan, I bet it includes beer, pizza and chicken wings!!!!!!! ME | | | |
| 306 | 1/18/2006 3:45:00 PM | Nuclear Dan | Hi Guys:
I received the card and bitch socks yesterday. Thank you for the birthday gift. I had a good laugh. I need to grow
my beard a few feet longer to equal the guy on the
card. I'm working on it.
I read about Chuckie on the web site. I'm sorry to
hear about his illness. I'm sure he is keeping a
positive attitude, as always, and with a little luck
will recover completely.
The weather here is not that good for riding. We are
having warm days but they are usually accompanied by
rain. I'm getting out as much as I can. I am running
again. I may do few duathlons this year. Who knows??
Frank and Bruce started training. Frank and I are
planning on a 5K in March. We'll see how that goes.
Jimmy is working on a secret plan and says he's
getting very strong.
alrightythan
db | | | |
| 304 | 1/16/2006 10:27:00 PM | Frank | Art, is it true that Slingshot is the Fluff Girl on the set of that new reality show I read about on MSN? | | Paging Dr. Art! | |
| 300 | 1/16/2006 4:40:00 PM | Art "Artie" Johnson | Bob,
I've just gotten a "sneak preview" of episode one of the "So you want to be a mechanic for Paul." It has exceeded my expectations. Middletown's own Rich "Bicycle Doctor" Cruet puts his reputation on the line in front of a national TV audience building up a Serotta Ottrot. He is heckled unmercifully by Paul when he says that the job is impossible because the bike has no shifter braze-ons and "Where the f*** am I supposed to put the down tube shifters." When Paul informs him that STI is the order of the day… and that Eisenhower is no longer president, Rich hurls a pedal wrench and leaves. The panel which had included Grant, Nipsey Russell and the Long Island guy who's trying to get Paul "fired" is modified in the show. Grant is now teamed with Ben Serotta and Paula Abdul. The swiftest complete bike fabrication on the show is performed by a guy from a Chinese laundry in Monroe. Paul is overheard saying to Ben, "What did I tell you about these Chinese?" He is awarded the chance to come back next week, build up a Legend Ti, and do all of Paul's dress shirts.
Art | | | |
| 298 | 1/14/2006 2:32:00 AM | Artie "Art" Donohue | Bob I'm very pleased and of course filled with anticipation about the new "reality" show slated for NBC this spring, have you read about it on MSN? It's called, "So you want to be a mechanic for Paul?" A great premise, and already they've got mobs lined up to show their talent. I understand the panel includes Grant (who inexplicably has an "afro" hairstyle on the show), there's also some Long Island bike shop owner (I can't remember his name, but he says the only reason he's doing the show is to try and get Paul "fired") and of course, Nipsey Russell (without an "afro"). From what I've read contestants will engage in challenges like vacuuming the house, finding the solitary weed on his lawn, and my favorite… be the first to actually prepare a meal in his kitchen. Potential "wrenches" for Paul will be put to task building up a complete bike from just a frameset whilst they are peppered with heckles from Paul himself, including: "You call that working? You look like a monkey trying to screw a football." There's also the popular, "Remind me why I hired you? I should outsource all this shit to China like Trek does." And the allegorical, "The bike came out OK… but I don't see a shine on my shoes yet!" So tune in this Spring Bob. It's sure to delight. | | | |
| 297 | 1/14/2006 2:10:00 AM | Art "Artie" Donohue | Bob, do you know a good dry cleaner by you? I got a stain on my tie earlier today and… well… you're busy with other stuff. I'll phone Paul's maid, she'll know somebody. Thanks anyway. | | | |
| 296 | 1/13/2006 8:43:00 PM | Zirra | Hey ya know that Kona Course is tough--Holy crap that is the most god forsaken stretch of 112 miles that I have visited. I always thought that it was crap when i heard about head winds on both sides of an out and back course.
My attendance needs some attention.
K | | And your attention needs some attendance. | |
| 295 | 1/13/2006 2:02:00 PM | ChatterBug | What is Shot talking about? I don't get it. I'm going to the mall. | | | |
| 294 | 1/13/2006 1:45:00 PM | Frank | I tried mowing my lawn, but the mower sank into the rice paddy that is now my back yard. Sooo... I've settled for riding my fixed-gear bike, which I usually don't dust off until March. | | Stop this! I really, really, really HATE chat rooms. - The Shot | |
| 293 | 1/13/2006 12:22:00 AM | Art "Artie" Donohue | Frank has taken the time to read my chatter? I find this troubling. Who in their right mind would read any of the drivel that I put on this web site? C'mon Frank! Go outside and mow your lawn... do something productive for god's sake. On to other topics of greater significance, my wife and I had a meeting this week with our attorney, drafting a last will and testament. I thought it was time we get that squared away, and trust me I'm sleeping like a baby since we did it. At least one thing is finally on a legal document that gives me some closure, on my headstone I've directed that it will simply say "Kevin Haley." | | | |
| 292 | 1/12/2006 10:36:00 AM | Foreign Correspondent | Not a word about spelling errors!! | | Wouldn't think of it. | |
| 291 | 1/12/2006 10:35:00 AM | Foreign Correspondent | Boy, It's a happy time when Art "When I'm not cracking backs, I'm cracking heads" Donohue signs on! If they give him one of those ovesized passports, can he pay with one of those oversized checks, like the lottery winners receive? How do they fit them through that little slot at the bank? I wouldn't want to carry around the oversized pen needed to sign that check! | | Frank, you made some good points, better up your lithium dose! | |
| 290 | 1/12/2006 1:51:00 AM | Art "Artie" Donohue | Permit me to say first of all how delighted I am to see that you're keeping the home fires burning, even whilst being 1000 miles south of here. It is very refreshing to me that you're working the web site, and NOT, as others have intimated, spent your every waking moment frequenting hot dog umbrellas operated exclusively by women wearing G-string bikinis. I never believed this for a second, but you know how these rumors get started. (Next time you're there Bob, if you could get me one with mustard and sauerkraut, I'd be indebted). I hope your training is going better than mine. I rode on Sunday with Joe Straub and Glenn (or is it Glen?... or maybe its Glennn). Anyway, I rode like a musk ox on roller skates, and trust me, it's not as pretty a sight as you are envisioning. I've spent some of the colder days in the recent past answering ALL of the e-mails I get, including all of the spam. I don't discriminate, I prepare thoughtful replys to any mail, including ones that have a tag line that says stuff like, "grow your cock to the size of an elephant's..guaranteed." I replied to that particular one, first off, that I was very pleased that the person had taken the time to write me (very thoughtful), but that if things worked out as they claim, and why wouldn't they, I'd never fit into my Descente shorts. Heck, they're tight enough as it is. To put this experiment to the test I got a rough idea about the size of an elephant's.... ommm, you know.... by going to the Bronx zoo. I postulated it to be about the size of a loaf of Italian bread, the family size, you know? Then I purchased one and try as I might, I couldn't even come CLOSE to getting it into my shorts. How embarassing would that be at the hump? Am I right? So there you go. I've also taken an interest in throwing away none of my so-called "junk" mail. In a new years resolution, I have vowed to take advantage of every single offer I get in the mail. So far, in 2006 I am pleased to report I have now applied for some 49 different credit cards, and have already gotten about 17 of them in the mail. My total line of credit will impress you. It's up to 635,000 dollars. If you'd like a new bike or house or something, let me know. It would be a pleasure. My minimum payments are only 15 bucks a month. Other than that, well there's not much to report. I'm off to Mallorca in May for a five day trip. Cool? With the travel time, customs, hotel check-in, getting lost on the way to (and from) the hotel, I've estimated that my actual vacation time will be about 45 mintes, taking into account of course that I'm losing time in the air on the way over there. Should be some nice cycling, provide I get my bike out of the box before it's time to pack up and leave. I'm also told I need a passport. The standard wait time on these things is about 6-8 months, for the first time traveller (yours truly). You can put a rush on it if you go to like Portland and stand in line for 9 hours. Then they give you a "rush" passport that is so flippin' oversized that the passport photo looks like one of the chairman Mao portaits in Beijing on the side of a warehouse. And to think I've got to flash this thing all over god's creation when I'm touring around. Other than that, I'm looking forward to the trip. In closing Bob, do you mind if I call you Bob?... Please stay in touch, I've let some of my migrant friends stay in your place in your absentia , hope that's OK. Also, I've not fed your cat in the last few weeks, I'll stop in tomorrow to freshen up the water dish.
Art | | Hey Bob,
It's good to see you back in men's clothing. | |
| 289 | 1/11/2006 9:30:00 PM | Foreign Correspondent | The rumor that ARC donated $400 to the Taliban was incorrect... it was $600. I take offense to ARC "respectfully disagreeing" with my post on the spelling error. You have just ruined my Rodney Dangerfield streak. I would have preferred if you "whole-heartedly disagreed". Also, thank you for pointing out the OTHER spelling errors you found but, all said & done, the error pertaining to my original post still exists.
Go Fish! | | We'll just keep our heads down, and watch the rumor mill increase the American Road Cycling donation till it gets up into some real money. Then we'll just cancel the original check and leave 'em scratching their heads. But ok on the spelling error. We're too stupid to see it. Except for the words SlingShot made up whole cloth, we've not a clue which word offends Mr. Gurnickio, who is currently coming on to the site, clicking a bunch of random pages in order to give a base line with regard to when somebody's fucking with us. | |
| 288 | 1/10/2006 11:10:00 PM | Foreign Correspondent | Rumor has it Slingshot actually donated $400 to the Taliban. Oh, by the way, there's a spelling error somewhere on the Luminaries' Attendance Record page... just thought i'd point that out. | | American Road Cycling respectfully disagrees. Terrists is the way we want to spell it, and the way Bush wants to say it. Well, of course Mongoloid was misspelled, but we're pretty sure Frank missed that one, being one himself. The spelling has been fixed, but it still lacks political correctness. Very much the way we like it. At least Frank read to the bottom of the page. Pretty impressive for an illiterate. | |
| 287 | 1/8/2006 2:40:00 PM | zirra | Flim-Flam or what ever you name is.
I am glad that you have the same kind of free time I do. It is 6:20 80 degrees and I am going for a ride at first light. ON a NON LEVINE SUPPLIED STEED---call paul for details-Something about lost in shipping and a stuck seat post??? Who knows if I really like this KUOTA I may save a few dollars?
Zirra | | Did you really think I'm not checking this stuff? Take another look at attendance. -The Shot | |
| 286 | 1/7/2006 3:42:00 AM | zirra | alright grab this IP and tell me where i am zirra | | [ANSWERED AT: http://www.americanroadcycling.org/
articles/Attendance/0601.htm#Zirra] | |
| 284 | 1/5/2006 2:28:00 PM | compliments of Dangerous Dan | Subject: Little Girl
A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl
on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did
Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety
violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on
the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse
you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop
and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on
top"
| | Geez, Mary. You'd think Dangerous could post his own. You must be assuming the cop is an American Road Cycling President, else this is inapropriate to publish. | |
| 283 | 1/4/2006 11:19:00 PM | Foreign Correspondent | Big Brother is watching... or is that Little Brother.. | | Actually neither. Even smaller yet. It's just the eensy weensy SlingShot. | |
| 281 | 1/2/2006 7:51:00 PM | Nuclear Dan Buckley | Mary,
Did you know that I share the same "B" day with
Maryellen. 1/30/56. I will also be the big 50.
Remember when you and Bob were that young? What was
it, 12, 15 years ago?
Alrightythan
db | | Apparently, math wasn't part of nuclear submarine driving. Check your addition. Her DOB is 1/22/56. Better slow down Dan. Oh, that's right you already have. | |
| 280 | 1/1/2006 12:24:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Black Widow: Are these your thoughts at 7:25 am on a Saturday morning, just before you start a 3-month vacation???? I wonder how you wake up on a BAD DAY?! (I feel a lot of sympathy for Slingshot.) Happy New Year | | Sympathy for SlingShot? You should know better, Twin. That's how I trained the Black Widow to think. Before that, she was as thoughtless as you. Hmmph! Sympathy for SlingShot. That's pretty much a thing of the past. | |