| # | Time EST | President | Chatter | User'sLink | My Personal SlingShot
aka: Sling Blades | Shot's
Link |
| 946 | 3/30/2007 2:26:00 PM | ARC Staff | Some guy from Orange County something or other was just in here and said they had word that Cranky recently purchased FG's Seven. What's up with that? | | She's just trying to steal his mojo. Not gonna help. | |
| 945 | 3/30/2007 2:14:00 PM | Turtle Boy | I just love it !!!!! | | You are not allowed to. | |
| 944 | 3/30/2007 11:54:00 AM | SlamCrank | What I heard got her all pissed off, and she told Paul, was that Humberto's ass is all little again, and his ankles are smaller than hers. She said, "He's not a fat fuck anymore, just a skinny guy with a belly." | | Maybe we'll change his name from "Turtle Boy" to "Tadpole." Or better yet, "Humm-Borat." | |
| 943 | 3/30/2007 11:25:00 AM | CaliperGirl | SlamCrank, I was just talking to The Black Widow and she's pretty upset. She said she was trying to explain to Paul (because he can't read the home page for himself), all about yesterday's ride with Humberto, Dan, and Doug. She mentioned the ride today with Palletman and got really pissed of when Paul rightly stated, "Oh good, another beating." | | Pretty much sums it up. | |
| 941 | 3/29/2007 11:49:00 AM | Palletman | Something must be wrong with my email! I didn't get any mass email from Doug Allen this morning about a ride? If you're trying to reach me post to Chatter Box until email problem is fixed. | | The Widder Dark checked the CC list, an' you ain't on it. She's sending a special request to have you included. Of course, you'll have to put up with some chain letter "ain't people's won'erful" bullshit, but it's worth it if just one ride like this comes through as well. BTW: You'll soon be receiving a thank you from the Widdle Widder re: your carpenters, who came and looked at the job this morning, and will start Monday. BTW: As far as we know, Doug Allen has never been on the ARC site (he's a rider), and for certain we know he has never posted in the Chatter Box, and doubly for certain, he has never applied for posting rights since the security change. In other words, don't hold your breath waiting for something about these sorts of rides here, or anywhere else on the Internet. | |
| 940 | 3/29/2007 11:32:00 AM | ARC Staff | Doug Allen sent out a mass e-mailing this morning looking for a ride. Humberto has offered the use of the Turtle Hut as starting point for a 4:30 pm ride this afternoon. Be there, or be square. That's across from Paul Levine's, in Central Valley, NY. Here's a link to the map to the start. See also rides for: Turtle Hump | EXTRA
LINK... | Here's more info, with driving directions --- > | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 938 | 3/28/2007 4:43:00 PM | SlamCrank | Hmmph! You would say that. | | | |
| 937 | 3/28/2007 4:34:00 PM | CaliperGirl | There's something oddly attractive about it. | | | |
| 936 | 3/28/2007 4:34:00 PM | SlamCrank | CaliperGirl, Did you see Palletman's tongue lashing the ARC Staff just added to the bottom of his article on the home page? | | | |
| 935 | 3/28/2007 1:53:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Out of curiosity I just checked out the attendance records, and my immediate reaction was something like this: "What in the world happened to the guy who tracks the attendance records? I think he... FLIPPED!!" | | Either that, or security has been compromised again. Actually, you've made a pretty sexist comment there. Our Attendance Bean Counter, decidedly SlingShot's FEMININE side, is currently trying to roll up all the suspected Toe Clip sightings into the world's largest string ball. | |
| 933 | 3/26/2007 1:52:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | SlamCrank… But it is true… I saw it with my own four eyes!!! But then again, it could have been an optical illusion as the guy that took second in yesterday's Cat 5 appeared to be a lighter scale version of the rider formally known as Palletman..... | | You probably were not hallucinating. The rider formally known as Palletman has changed his name to the symbol |. Did you check his jersey? Tomorrow ARC is running a full article exposé of cycling race results. It should put all this in perspective. | |
| 932 | 3/26/2007 10:55:00 AM | Palletman | You're right on with my state of mind. In terms of being at Bethel, as you so eloquently stated in your previous post, history is not written by the winners, history is written by the writers. Can I help it if the writers have their heads up their ass? | | You might be able to help it. We've been back for four days, and your little friends have already double and triple teamed me til my back finally gave way. Today I have to go over to Dr. Art's confessional and admit to not doing my stretching exercises. Should I set up an appointment for him to meet with you and Toe Clip, so he can grill the Bethel truth out you? | |
| 931 | 3/26/2007 10:02:00 AM | Palletman | I must comment regarding TP Joe Straub flatting out on Saturday's Hump. TP, remember the day in February when Kevin Haley and myself flatted twice on the same ride in sub 20 degree weather and you continued on winning the Hump? Leaving the two of us to fend for ourselves with no other riders on the course and no spare tubes? Perhaps SlingShot will now understand our state of mind when TP flatted Saturday. | | I pretty much already knew your state of mind. It went something like this, "FINALLY, maybe our only chance to beat TP in this century. There's only ¾ mile left. If we go hard now, maybe TP will flat a couple more times before the finish, and we can beat him. Needer, needer, needer." How's that. Pretty close to what was in your head, right? That was a nice touch though, stealing his tire irons. BTW: Were you even at Bethel? Or have you got your new best friend Toe Clip lying for you already? | |
| 930 | 3/26/2007 7:42:00 AM | SlamCrank | Your Bethal race results appear to be at odds with the official results from the Bethel web site. In fact Palletman isn't even mentioned on the Official site. | EXTRA
LINK... | We don't care. It's an interesting story, and it's well written. Besides, what you've always heard is not true. History is NOT written by the winners. History is written by the writers. History only used to be PUBLISHED by the winners. Now everybody gets to publish. | |
| 929 | 3/25/2007 10:11:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Kudos to Palletman for taking 2nd in today's Bethel crit. Congrats also to Mark from the Bicycle Doctor for placing 5th in the same race. Don't know exactly how Joe Straub placed in the Cat 4 race except that he did not take 1st this week. However, I was told he might look for redemption in the Master's Cat (didn't stick around to see). And, as for this Toe Clip Guy: Let's just say it was my own Baptism by Fire, especially in the last two laps. I was working the race pretty good (I think), as I was able to stay near the front for most of the race. I took the lead for a bit here and there, even waved others on to help share the work (to no avail), but then—right before the start of the last two laps—it was like I just showed up with toe clips!!! I knew it would be hard for me to stay in the final sprint, so I figured I'd get a head start and break. It didn't last long. The pack came and blew by, leaving me with this feeling like they knew about the toe clips. Final result: a meager 17th place and a lesson learned. | | If there were only 17 riders, that 17th might be considered meager. Except for how you fared during the build up laps. At least you've learned the big lesson: never pull unless absolutely necessary. Those guys are just trying to beat you. Don't help them do it. In any case, one would have expected Palletman to send in some results. Guess he's passed out dreaming of 1st, and trying to figure out why you didn't learn from his mistake from a couple weeks ago. Actually, it looks like you learned that lesson pretty good, since you more or less repeated it spin for spin. I'm going to move your post over to the home page. There have been known IP#'s here today obviously looking for these results, but they never clicked over to the Chatter Box. | |
| 928 | 3/25/2007 8:53:00 PM | Assos | We are sorry to say, our stock will be down somewhat this year, because Paul Levine has cancelled all his orders for his personal cycling shorts. He has worked out a deal with a hot-air balloon manufacturer, who will be supplying him with custom fit shorts. Their representative said, "We can easily beat Assos prices, because we have a lot of our largest balloons in stock, and they require no tailoring whatsoever to custom fit Levine's ass. | | Not surprising. | |
| 927 | 3/25/2007 11:00:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | I'm up at Bethel and realize that I'm the only one with Toe Clips. What's up with these people? SlingShot told me everyone up here would be using Toe Clips. | | Just don't get a flat tire, or it will really get ugly. | |
| 926 | 3/25/2007 10:55:00 AM | Cranky | This Big Brother shit is scaring me. So this is what it's like to have a big brother. | | Who's your big brother now, Cranky? | |
| 925 | 3/25/2007 10:35:00 AM | ARC Staff | Palletman, a special "Favorite Quote" has been added to the bottom of today's home page article about yesterday's Hump since you were last here. | | What. You think there's some sort of a chance Palletman won't be reading and rereading that page again and again like always? | |
| 924 | 3/24/2007 9:10:00 PM | FG | You do have a point there… I mean, with the likes that frequent this dive… | | I doubt anyone likes to frequent this dive. | |
| 923 | 3/24/2007 4:43:00 PM | FG | What do you mean by "posting privileges"? I can post just fine… see? Is anyone else having a problem posting? | | You'd be surprised. I would not. | |
| 922 | 3/24/2007 4:40:00 PM | FG | SlingShot, as long as the info gleaned isn't going to populate the Pentagon's TIA data mining program… that would just be plain wrong…
by the way… the password is "stick it to The Man"… | | You are right, it would be a shame to put information into a system unlikely to understand it in the first place, use it in the second place, or know why they had it in the first place in the third place. But it's not the Pentagon's fault, it is likely a function of their growing irritation over all the Transient Ischemic Attack data they've been minding. Otherwise, you've totally misread Palletman's question. He asked for "a" password, not "the" password, which for your information is actually, "up against the wall, motherfucker." I know all this stuff, because I have total information awareness. It's like photograpic memory but prettier. Sort of like total recall, but I can't. | |
| 921 | 3/24/2007 11:53:00 AM | Palletman | What's a password? | | On your left. | |
| 920 | 3/24/2007 2:38:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Bob Von Slingshot, you heard right… Sunday will be my initial foray into the Real Deal… and I'm either gonna kick some butt, or I'm gonna get my butts kicked by everybody else… go figure… By the way, does everybody have the secret password to get into the chatter box, and it only looks like a couple of people have the code--because nobody else wants to… ??? Welcome back. And oh Yeah, go see SpinGuy, he's been waiting......... | | You've almost hit the nail on the head. Currently, there are 4 people who have posting privileges. FG, Palletman, Cranky, and Toe Clip. Of course, the whole world has reading privileges, so lots more do read. How many there are is unclear, due to all the multiple static IP#'s for singular people, plus the dynamic IP#'s passed out by wireless and dial-up carriers, not to mention AOL. There is also the matter of Internet Cafes. Once a long time ago a person with the same name as one of the locals filled out a Contact Form from some place in Washington, State. Or so it seemed. I Googled more info about the person, and found links to a bunch of hate-sites, prison terms, terrorist bombings, etc. Their post never saw the light of day. There are 3 or 4 people who have posted in the past (other than the 4 above), and they continue to submit articles that are published on the home page, but none of them have tried to post on the Chatter Box after the new security measures were put in place, so they don't even know there has been a change. When I see a known IP# hit the submittal form, I try to set them up, but nobody except the 4 people above (with known IP#'s) has done so yet. Except, the person who caused all the most recent trouble has been whining to be brought back. I'm just too lazy to take a chance on them. So you are correct. It is just the four of us here. Wait, that's 5 counting SlingShot. Sorry, I forgot, SlingShot doesn't count. Otherwise, see what I mean about how easy it is to get somebody to spill their guts? As for Spin Guy, he is in deep disfavor around here. He was banned from the site, then actually went away. We don't like that sort of thing. How dare he listen to a word that SlingShot says. | |
| 919 | 3/23/2007 8:32:00 PM | FG | Cranky, they're over there -----> | EXTRA
LINK... | Thank you for taking care of that, Frank. Now, remind Cranky that paid commercial endorsements are not allowed in this forum. The word is "doughnut." Next thing you know, she'll be wearing a Trek logo on her ass. Big advertising campaign for them. Also, ask her if she's going down to FL. See if it's ok we go with her. It is too fucking cold up here. Of course listening to Palletman and riding out in the rain with him this afternoon didn't help much. Actually, it could have been a lot worse if we weren't entertained the whole ride by Pallet whining about TP Joe Straub, Glenn Babikian, and his maiden voyage up to High Point Wednesday—from Chester. He also had some choice words for Iron Mike who suggested the course to TP. Speaking of maidenheads, Pallet tells us Toe Clip is to get his cycling race cherry burst this Sunday. | |
| 918 | 3/23/2007 8:23:00 PM | Cranky | So now what? You're up here, so do we go down to Floriduh? This is very confusing. And- where are the donuts. Who moved my donuts? | | | |
| 917 | 3/23/2007 8:18:00 PM | Cranky | Did I ever tell you why I ride? It's all about the Donuts. | | You didn't have to tell us. It is quite visible. Good thing you don't ride very much. - Palletman | |
| 916 | 3/23/2007 10:31:00 AM | Palletman | SlingShot, we waited all of about two seconds for you. | | Yeah, I know. I was hiding over behind the dumpster. | |
| 915 | 3/23/2007 10:20:00 AM | Dr. Hawkings | p.s.: Cranky can have my donuts any time | | p.p.s.: Cranky don't want your doughnuts. | |
| 914 | 3/23/2007 10:18:00 AM | Dr. Hawkings | They're baaaaaaak! I thought I felt a subtle Paradigm shift, but wasn't sure. Actually, I thought it was just a ripple in the Time-Space Continuum. And what's this about no flippin' oranges?!? That's it.. Maple Avenue bridge has just been sucked into a black hole, never to return.. A curse on you ALL! | | Well, at least we got that bridge thing squared away. I was really worried about coming up with whole new excuses on the same course. Now I can use the same old ones all over again. "I was in the wrong gear, etc." | |
| 913 | 3/23/2007 10:05:00 AM | ARC Staff | To the known world: If Cranky Mary Beth Henderson shows up at your desk, feed her a doughnut, and just say, "NO, you may not use my terminal to visit the American Road Cycling web site. You are driving SlingShot crazy." | | Not a long trip. | |
| 912 | 3/23/2007 1:28:00 AM | ARC Staff | The ARC Staff would like to thank Toe Clip Guy for his clicking on that oh so special link whenever it is convenient, for his doing so has already cleared up 3 UV#'s, and shunted them into the Toe Clip category. This is making SlingShot's life significantly easier. | | Which is extra special, because SlingShot is unlikely to ever go out of his way to make anybody else's life even the slightest bit easier. For the time being it is probably best if everybody assumes all UV#'s in the Attendance Records are Toe Clip. Well, maybe include Cranky and Spin Guy in that. The oddest thing: there are people who are actually clamoring to make their presence in the Attendance Hall's of Fame greater, while an equal number are trying "not to be there at all." Very strange. Really, it doesn't matter one way or the other. | |
| 911 | 3/22/2007 11:10:00 PM | FG | Told ya not to peek! And not having a say-so in the bridge closing is one thing, but in the bridge RE-OPENING is quite another. Yummy! Florida oranges... I can't wait! | | Looks like ARC screwed it up for everybody. We forgot the oranges, and when SlingShot did a drive-by today of the bridge, he found not one way around it. This is a no bullshit shutdown of that road. Last year's bridge had a ride around (plus a smallish body of water), this year's is over a major waterway, and the only logical detour means going onto Rte 6, although shorter by about 1.5 miles than the posted detour, if one cuts over to Bob's Gun Exchange… related to SlingShot in attitude alone. Fortunately, SlingShot missed Palletman's reply to his ride offer by 16 minutes, and in so doing avoided being beaten up by Pallet and Dangerous Dan for however many miles they would have decided was fun to fuck with an old man over. SlingShot feels not the least bit better, realizing his two personal bests today would have mattered little. | |
| 910 | 3/22/2007 6:16:00 PM | SlingShot | Hey P'man, How's about a ride this afternoon? | | Right, SlingShot. Like Pallet is likely to want to tangle with you! | |
| 909 | 3/20/2007 11:23:00 PM | FG | Huh? What happened? What did I get blamed for now? That’s it.. Next time I'm dumping my snow in YOUR driveway! And as far as putting on pants while I'm at my pooter…well, lets just say how 'bout you just stay the hell off my cam! Anyhoo, on a lighter note, Maple Avenue/CR 37 is now closed.. And if your nice to me I just may give the OK to have that bridge fixed, and the road reopened, for next year's Hump. Don't forget the oranges… | | Now I've really had it, Bianchi. If you think anybody appreciates you pretending to be FG, and if you think I don't know just exactly who you are, well, you haven't been listening. First off, everybody knows Peetie Pete Peetie KaKa is in charge of Highway Department Liaisoning, so FG wouldn't have any say so in the bridge closing anyway. It's time for me to get back up there and on top of things. Besides, I'm looking right at FG, and he ain't typed a thing for over an hour… looks like he's reading, or some… what's that he's doing? Oh, jeesus. That's disgusting. | |
| 908 | 3/20/2007 3:44:00 PM | SlingShot | Palletman, or Cranky, or whoever you are, this bitch is a lot of work. Watch out what you wish for… it may come true! | | Ok, BLASTER. Get the fuck outa here. | |
| 907 | 3/20/2007 2:24:00 PM | Palletman | I thought the Black Widow (you sexy thing) was attracted to thin men. Why the hell do ya think I've been killing myself all winter. Thought I might catch her eye when she returns from Floriduh. | | Nice try Cranky. You should know Palletman would never talk like this. Besides, to catch the Widow's eye, one would have to be thicker than a strand of hair, thus visible from 50 paces. Palletman is certainly thinner than that. No matter, because TP Joe will just have to deal with him. It's unlikely we'll ever get close enough to see him on a hill again. | |
| 905 | 3/20/2007 1:33:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | OK I'm in… now… how do I get outta this place??? | | Look down. See those ruby slippers? Just clip them in. | |
| 904 | 3/19/2007 9:29:00 PM | Cranky | Ohhhhh man. What's up with this new security. Now we can't pretend to be someone else and make Slingshot nuts. I was going to different venues to post, just to keep him occupied at the PC and off the roads. Plus, I'm surprised to see the communist side of Slingshot. Thought you were more the socialist type. Now big brother is always watching us. | | I gotta tell you, Frank, this is a pretty piss poor Cranky impersonation. Really… Cranky is the Queen of the Value Pair, the Rapier Wit of Sarco Sadism, Our Lady of Scram. You are going to have to do more than just use her nom while taking potshots at SlingShot's authoritarian, dictatorial web mastering style. Not to mention, nobody even questions SlingShot's pinko background. And Frank, please put on pants when you are at your computer. You are giving SlingShot eyestrain. | |
| 903 | 3/19/2007 1:36:00 AM | BLASTER | Glad I made the cut. Did you ever track down a link regarding what you said about Keith's girlfriend. | | I did a search on the web site. Apparently it was never in an article. It was just something I gasped out loud after the pancake breakfast. My hope is that you will continue to be blamed for it. It is in nobody's best interest to credit me with the statement anyway. Not a pretty picture. | |
| 902 | 3/19/2007 12:47:00 AM | BLASTER | Boy, the security is tight around here. Hope I made it through. Otherwise, I see the bullshit about performance levels is getting thicker than ever. The fact is, if it weren't for the snow, I would be ready to kick your ass. As it is, I think you should just stay in FLA another month or two. | | Well, you made it through. Thanks for the suggestion. I tell Mary every day we should get back to NY before I waste away to nothing, but maybe we should stay here for awhile. Otherwise, we finally identified one of the bad actors in the recent little escapade of who's on first. They spilled their guts, are much relieved of their guilt, and are doing the time for their crime. I won't mention names, but you should be able to figure out who it was by who is now missing from the ChatterBox. Most people don't even know about the new security measures (they probably haven't even noticed the little web cam by their nightstand either), but when they find out, the reliable among them will mostly know the backdoor entrance. Some used it immediately. Those who don't know the work-around, will figure a way to get themselves heard. If the security dike holds, the next time this stuff happens, we'll at least be able to trace the source quickly and shut it down without affecting the system. Turns out the bad actor we identified was actually a "puppet master" who had a bunch of easily swayed zombies doing their bidding. At least the puppeteer now knows that our proprietary in-house patented security technology will hunt down evil doers, run them to ground, and bring them to justice, no matter how long it takes. Plus, like all open societies, their attempts to hurt us will not affect us in the least. We are bigger than our parts. Well, maybe SlingShot's part is bigger than he, but that's a whole 'nother story. | |
| 900 | 3/18/2007 6:51:00 PM | FG | The reason why your shouting "No, come back here, I'm still an out of control drug crazed hippie freak commie anarchist. Arrest me!" didn't work when you got pulled over is because you didn't follow that up with the magic word... "ASSHOLE!" (not you, the magic word) | | Oh. | |
| 899 | 3/18/2007 4:36:00 PM | Turtle Boy | Hey, Bob: I have a Brasilian message for you!!! a procima vez que eu ando de bicicleta com voce, vou deichar-te para tras like a hot potato ! | | Bablefish appears to think you actually cannot speak Portuguese. It translates your message thus: "the protop time that I walk of bicycle with voce, I go to deichar you for tras like hot potato!" I can understand it better in Portuguese, and probably the Greek wouldn't be Greek to me. Of course, the problem could be that you speak Portuguese about as good as you do English. Looks like I'm getting dropped no matter. My own translation, which no doubt loses a little, would be a guess at: "The next time I ride with you, I'm going to drop you like a hot potato!" | |
| 896 | 3/18/2007 3:46:00 PM | Widow Noire | This love affair SlingShot's got going with Turtle Boy is a little odd. | | Only in this one way am I able to beat George Hincapie. In the past George has been fortunate enough to ride with Humberto, but I still get to… at least until he molts his giant turtle shell. | |
| 895 | 3/18/2007 3:42:00 PM | Turtle Boy | FUCK!!! They will kill you in Brazil, take your bike, and leave you naked on the side of the road. | | Well, just so long as they leave you a glove to shit with. | |
| 894 | 3/18/2007 10:19:00 AM | SlamCrank | SlingShot, I hear you had your own brush with the law last night on the way home from checking out cycling at Clermont, Mount Dora, Apopka, Sanford, etc, after the brakes went out on the truck and you spent the afternoon at a Tuffy. Some cop pulled you over with some nonsense about how you swerved out of your lane. Then The Black Widow started spouting off and almost got you arrested. | | This is the second time I have been stopped for driving like a drunk. Last time was last summer outside Newburgh coming home from Barnes and Noble with a Grandé Cappuccino in my hand. There seems to be a horrible pattern emerging. Apparently, I am now too fucking old to be harassed by the law. The little baby assed bastards just smile and apologize for stopping me. Last night the guy went off giggling something about, "Yeah, right… hehehee, stick it to the man… Oh, Lordy…" My yelling, "No, come back here, I'm still an out of control drug crazed hippie freak commie anarchist. Arrest me!" has no effect whatsoever. | |
| 893 | 3/18/2007 2:59:00 AM | SlamCrank | You'd better lay off FG. He was willing to take a bullet for his neighbor rather than drop a dime on him with the fuzz. Your own neighbors would have asked the cop for his piece and shot you with it themselves. | | Maybe you are right. In any case, FG can no longer stick it to the man. Being one of the full fledged Presidents of American Road Cycling, he is the man. | |
| 892 | 3/18/2007 2:54:00 AM | FG | Bob,
That's Mr. Asshole to you.
FG | | I feel I don't have to be polite while on my own property. | |
| 891 | 3/17/2007 2:54:00 PM | FG | Hi Mary,
I'm addressing this note to you because I think Mr. "I can't loosen up on the control stick" Fugett blocked my IP from the Chatter Box. Tell him that won't stop me, tho.
Anyhoo… Bob, In reference to post #882, I'm always getting in trouble for just trying to be myself, can you imagine the deep shit I'd be in trying to be someone else? Case in point:
This morning, while shoveling the 12 inches of white shit off the sidewalk in front of my house, a patrol car pulls up, an Ossifer of the Law gets out, and proceeds to ask for my ID, all the while jotting something down in his little black summons book. Turns out he is writing me a ticket for "Interfereing with snow clearing operations," all the while pointing to all the snow that was pushed out into the street in front of a driveway. I seize the opportunity to "Stick it to The Man" and tell him that I feel I don't have to carry ID while on my own property. He asks for my name, which I gladly give him, and I watch him fumble trying to spell the last name. Of course, I'm not offering to spell it. He finally gets exasperated and demands the spelling. Ok, here goes… F-R-A…. "YOUR LAST NAME," he yells. He points out that I am being uncooperative, as he proceeds to call for backup, which arrives. Turns out the backup is a "shift supervisor" that is required on every shift worked, so as to make sure that the Ossifers don't pull their nightsticks on every Tom, Dick or Frank shoveling their walk, who gives them a hard time, and spill some gray matter. The "shift supervisor" in his "Good Cop" role pulls me aside and asks what is going on, and where I live. I point and say, "I live there, and I think I'm being issued a summons or something for throwing snow into the street." He proceeds to ask me if I informed the other, now obviously agitated Ossifer, that IT'S NOT MY FUCKING DRIVEWAY? [which has the pile of snow in front of it] "No," I say… "He never asked me."
Moral of the story:
Bob better bring back enough oranges for ALL of us… the rickets are starting to set in!
FG | | It is assholes like you that makes it impossible for the law enforcement community to get anybody with a brain to sign up. | |
| 890 | 3/17/2007 1:37:00 PM | Cranky | Dear Pouting Mc'Slingshot (if Mary feels you should be allowed to read this given your current behavior):
What the hell. How long does it take you to houseclean? Are you just pouting because the Ips are literally all over the place? It's a dynamic global world out here. Loosen up on the control stick. You need a new form of identification. Forget Ips. Use behavioral analysis on the posting. Example: Cranky = sarcasm. Toe Clip = frequent kiss up posts with kind humor. Pallet = wakes up to skin flickish posts. FG = gets all charged about the Artie Art Levine comics. Etc. Open the damn Chatter, so we can further annoy you. After all, you must be driving Mary crazy by now. How dirty was the house? Move it along with the broom and scrub brush.
O'Socranky | | What the hell are you talking about? | |
| 889 | 3/17/2007 1:34:00 AM | FG | Hi Bob, I was going to post this at the Chatterbox, but some idiot shut it down :-/ I attached the .wmv file I found at Crooks and Liars.com of Zbigniew Brzezinski on TDS.. He was actually saying "manicky and paranoia"... not "manakeen" paranoia.. meaning not only is that asshole in the White House paranoid, but manic depressive as well.
| EXTRA
LINK... | If some idiot shut down the Chatter Box, how the hell did you post this? Over here (<--) is a link to the clip in question. You will note that Zbigniew states the audience is educated. Unfortunately, the audience is most likely educated in English, not in heavily accented googoo speak. Fortunately, one doesn't need much of an education to know that W is a total nut job. In any case, a more technically correct description would be "criminally insane." In case somebody forgot the question, here's a link to it. ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 888 | 3/16/2007 12:24:00 PM | SlamCrank | Holy shit! The motherfucker finally did it. He shut down the Chatter Box! | | Then how did you post this? | |
| 886 | 3/16/2007 2:25:00 AM | UV50 | Hey Slingshot, Don't be so depressed and Gloomy. If it helps, I'll join for a free bag of Oranges. Just put it on Pallet's tab. | | Guess what? | |
| 885 | 3/16/2007 1:10:00 AM | Zirra | Whom of the famous ARC collaberative will be doing the ODDMAN in Medford, NJ.
I am feeling somewhat generous and would consider opening my home to those who are traveling and racing.
Z | | It is just my guess, but it is unlikely you will get a response. | |
| 884 | 3/16/2007 12:44:00 AM | ARC Staff | Maybe you should just stop talking to yourself about yourself. | | You're all fired. | |
| 883 | 3/16/2007 12:42:00 AM | ARC Staff | Why not just password protect the submittal form? | | Tried that already. Spent most of my time reminding people, who may or not have been who they said they were, of their passwords. | |
| 882 | 3/16/2007 12:38:00 AM | ARC Staff | Cranky, apparently you have a new IP#. Please send e-mail to the front desk, so we can confirm you are still with us. Otherwise, we are going to blame it on FG due to an instance of proximity effect. | | Probably time to shut this puppy down, and fire all the help. | |
| 881 | 3/15/2007 11:19:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Hmmm... me thinks I smell a rat... | | Shouldn't that be "methinks me smelleth"? In any case, the probability that the previous post was in fact Toe Clip is in the 99.9% range… more or less. If he lodges complaint under a known IP#, one of which he has already come here a couple times with since that posting, we will know somebody is fucking with us. The last person that tried to slide under the posting radar got blocked till I was somewhat confident I knew who they were. BTW: FG, see if anybody knows the specific term that Zbigniew Brzezinski prepended to "paranoia" during the most recent "The Daily Show." The only thing I hate more than not being sure who the fuck is posting here, is not knowing a word, and the only thing I hate more than not knowing a word is not being able to track down a word I don't know after I've heard it. Zbigniew called George W's basic orientation to world politics as something that sounded like "manakeen" paranoia. I've gone nuts trying to track down the word. If somebody knows the term, please place a pointer here… using a known IP#, of course. And don't post no fucking theories neither. Either you know, or you know not. | |
| 880 | 3/15/2007 4:39:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Funny the ARC staff should ask… I was just about to comment how lax the staff is in tracking the attendance records. This Toe Clip and That Toe Clip have been on this site DAILY!! But I guess we need to excuse the staff as the Florida heat must be getting to them, and they are no doubt itching to get back uptown.… | | Well, you sound like Toe Clip, and you probably look like Toe Clip, and this isn't a totally out of the question Toe Clip hour, but your IP# is totally new to ARC. Guess we are not going to be able to track who is who anymore, what with people roaming the streets at night looking for a cup 'o joe in whatever out of the way Internet café may have an open terminal. Of course, we have heard that wireless has gone back to the old dial-up standard of dynamic IP#'s, so maybe that is what's happening here. Just when we figured out "Guesse Who" (or so we think), now we've gone and lost Toe Clip back into UV anonymity. That puts us right back to three (3) viewers again. Status quo. We'll just have to limp along and credit Toe Clip's attendance whenever we can. Unfortunately, today is not one of those times. Oh well, we are hearing rumors of spring in NY anyway. It's almost time to shut down the winter Chatter Box. | |
| 879 | 3/15/2007 1:02:00 AM | ARC Staff | Web logs imply that Toe Clip may be showing up under new IP#'s but stopped by today (using a known #) to check if ARC has picked up on the others. | | We have not. | |
| 878 | 3/14/2007 8:56:00 PM | Palletman | I thought I might get a ####ing response from you. I've got you read like a book. BTW: I believe membership runs April 1 to March 31, sooooooooooo I believe I can refer (correctly) to the Black Widow as an OCBC girl. When do we start work on the swimsuit issue? | | See what I mean? We are so dissociated from the ####, we can't even remember if we are members or not. I told our obsidian arachnid that nothing good could come of her joining that little coffee klatsch of cycling poseurs. The swimsuit issue begins as soon as enough money has been saved to purchase suitable melons. | |
| 877 | 3/14/2007 2:15:00 PM | Palletman | All you OCBC girls are teasers. | | ARC has no connection to #### whatsoever, and The Black Widow is not even a member of #### this year, nor has SlingShot been a member of #### for several years now. We are passing your posting over to the Standards and Practices Committee to see if we shouldn't just remove it altogether. SlingShot says he is personally going to attend the meeting in order to watch the Committee labor over discusssions about #### when they are not even allowed to voice the letters ####. However, you are probably right about the "teasers" issue, and since you specifically mentioned the "girls" of ####, that of course includes the entire membership of ####. | |
| 876 | 3/14/2007 1:03:00 PM | Palletman | Hey Bob, forget about the pantsing. If you guys are heading up north soon, would you pick me up some grapefruit and oranges on the way? I'll gladly pay you Tuesday. | | There are a lot of titty-bars along the way up. Would you prefer melons? [ghost written by Noire] | |
| 875 | 3/13/2007 11:43:00 AM | ARC Staff | T-shirts awarded for The Winter Hump Series have been ordered and should arrive in 7 to 10 days. Everybody who won a T-shirt is advised to hold back on their nastinees toward those who never showed up during the competition, and who will be forever humiliated by not having a T-shirt of their own. This means you, Brand New Bruce. Please don't "constantly" harrass Jim and Dan about how they didn't get one. Only go, "needer, needer, needer," one or two times, and under your breath. | | | |
| 874 | 3/12/2007 11:51:00 PM | BLASTER | The trainer is out, the bike is on, it's time to train. Hope to kick your ass soon. | | Two weeks. And the very moment you do kick my ass, please turn to shout back to me, "So how far back did we drop LaBooty?" | |
| 873 | 3/12/2007 11:20:00 PM | Assassin | Did I spark your interest? Not only did you block GW's access, you blocked his "Hot So Hot" girlfriend from seeing your site. | | And voilá. Our propietary in-house top secret technology ferrets out another one. But don't you mean "Cool So Cool"? In any case, the block has been removed (now that we know who we are dealing with), and thanks for the sleuthing. | |
| 872 | 3/12/2007 10:35:00 PM | Brand New Bruce | Bob, so when do I get my tee shirt? My toes are just getting their feeling back. I did not go to the Hump the past two weeks, but I think Dan was there. | | The status of the T-shirts is being looked into. Thanks for reminding us. | |
| 871 | 3/12/2007 9:51:00 PM | Assassin | Bob, The person in question hopes your feelings aren't hurt by past postings. Don't kill the messenger for sending the message. | | Slingshot has no feelings. What person said what? | |
| 870 | 3/12/2007 9:01:00 PM | Assassin | Bob, GW called me and wants to know why you shut him down? I don't know what that is about, but I told her I would pass it along. | | I'm not sure I am following. Could you be more specific? Such as: why are you calling him "her." | |
| 869 | 3/12/2007 4:01:00 PM | Palletman | You can't fire me. I QUIT! | | Oh, I didn't realize that you were smart enough to know when you are not suited for a position. You are hired again. | |
| 868 | 3/12/2007 12:50:00 PM | Palletman | BTW: Iron Mike Norton riding for Rite-Aid finished first in the Pro 1-2-3 Race. | | BTW? BY THE WAY? As an aside? In any case…? You might also have mentioned that Mark Salvagan received a 6th in Cat. 5 riding for The Bicycle Doctor. A good idea for your reporting might be for you to pay a bit of attention to the IMPORTANT stuff. Of course, that would be in your next job, because as for this one: YOU ARE FIRED. Now, be gone, Little Man. Be gone. | |
| 867 | 3/12/2007 11:26:00 AM | Palletman | It was not a DKNY/Signature Cycles rider that went to hospital. | | Good. BTW: If you ever send me hot off the presses, emergency e-mail again, be sure to tell me to mention it in the Chatter Box (I'll remove the note after I see it), because I only check my e-mail once per day. | |
| 866 | 3/12/2007 11:05:00 AM | SlamCrank | Palletman, was that a Sig Cycles team member, or somebody from some other team who went to the hospital? | | | |
| 865 | 3/12/2007 8:56:00 AM | Worried Female Cyclist | Dear SLingshot, I have evidence that my husband was browsing the Team Estrogen website last night. Do I have a problem on my hands? | | I wouldn't worry about it, Ester. I'm sure he'll be able to work this out with his therapist. Which reminds me, tomorrow is the Big Grand Finale Pants Paul Levine Outing. | |
| 862 | 3/12/2007 1:50:00 AM | SlamCrank | So, Bianchi was back and browsing a bit more strongly. | | Right. Maybe his purple butt glow has dimmed. Must be they don't stuff Uranium road flares up people's arses on the weekend. | |
| 860 | 3/10/2007 10:20:00 PM | BLASTER | Bob, I will see him Monday and tell him. I just don't know what the hell you are talking about. | | He'll know. It appears he was lightly browsing the ARC site (this evening), clicked on the directory for "Readers Write," saw the link to his "Ballard" (e-mail #3), then clicked on the E=MC², instead of his poem. The two links are very close together. I'm guessing he was just checking to see if his poem was still there, or trying to remember what it could be. Lookie here ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 859 | 3/10/2007 10:10:00 PM | ARC Staff | Somebody tell Nuclear Dan Buckley that he hit the link to the right of his "Ballard" link. The proximity of the two links might cause some confusion. Tell Dan his poem is still published. He just missed it. | | I'm sure someone will pass this on. | |
| 858 | 3/10/2007 1:46:00 PM | CaliperGirl | SlingShot! YUKKK... | | Well... | |
| 857 | 3/10/2007 1:44:00 PM | SlamCrank | I also heard that The Black Widow is back in NY at her father's funeral. | | That's right. Who's her daddy now? | |
| 856 | 3/10/2007 1:41:00 PM | SlamCrank | Somebody said Bianchi was just in here, but he wasn't browsing with his usual zeal. | | It's hard to get excited about shit when your ass is glowing a vibrant cobalt blue like the cooling pool at Indian Point. | |
| 855 | 3/10/2007 11:48:00 AM | Cranky | Ok ok… I hate all of you too. Xoxo Now as for these rollovers. They are brilliant! Terribly addicting! Hmm, what would Jimmy Nails look like in spandex bikini briefs? Wallah! Mary Ellen with instant implants! And my favorite - BIRTHDAY'S OVER BUCKO !!
P.S. How much do the implants go for? | | Implants are cheap. Making Mary Ellen's thighs small enough to fit on a computer screen… that's where all the money went. And yet, the Final Finale Paul Levine Pantsing is still to come. The wretched truth of a wretched man will be graphically displayed for all the world to see. However, tomorrow we pants Dr. Art and Dangerous Dan. BTW: Palletman, Cranky left you a bunch of wet x's and o's at the front desk. One of them is pretty big. | |
| 852 | 3/10/2007 12:33:00 AM | Bobette | It's cold here. Miss you! | | Oh, shit. Now what? Where did you come from? Does this look like MySpace to you?! | |
| 851 | 3/9/2007 10:33:00 PM | Palletman | Cranky, are you flirting with me? | | Please move this discussion over to match.com. Nobody here likes anybody here, and we are going to keep it that way. | |
| 850 | 3/9/2007 9:36:00 PM | guessewho?? | the answer my friend is blowin in the wind | | | |
| 849 | 3/9/2007 8:22:00 PM | Cranky | So does that picture make me the Black Witcho? I keep trying to be like her, since Pallet likes her better. | | Watch it Witcho, you are merely placing Pallet in a deeper cauldren for toil and trouble. Far as I know, nobody around here likes anybody… better or not. In any case, get yourself prepared for the Grand Pants Finale in which the truth hiding under Paul Levine's fancy façade will be laid bare! | |
| 848 | 3/9/2007 10:44:00 AM | CaliperGirl | I'm just glad to see those horrible people were nice to Cranky, and ran her self-portrait as is, without any alterations. | | If you think George's was something, just wait till you see the stark revelation of the truth about Paul Levine when the Grand Finale Pantsing is published. | |
| 847 | 3/9/2007 10:30:00 AM | SlamCrank | My theory is that Lynn is just upset because she thought she had all that junk removed years ago. | | At least The Widow will stop harassing me about, "Where's Lynn? Did she see it yet. Oh boy, I can't wait for her to tell George..." | |
| 846 | 3/9/2007 10:13:00 AM | Cranky | Geez Twin, I didn't even notice that. That is too much for a sister to have to see! Even for me, a look alike sister (or Triplet), it is too much. Now I am protesting George's pantsing. Between that picture and your banana picture Slingshot really has you both by the bananas! | | Oh great Lynn, see what you did. Nobody but you had even noticed, except of course The Black Widow who kept giggling something about "retribution" until I finally noticed. Now you've gone and got Triplet Cranky all upset. She didn't need to see that, and neither did I. | |
| 845 | 3/9/2007 12:25:00 AM | Twin Lynn | I would like to register a complaint about the pantsing. Not my own pantsing. I can live with that. It's my brother's pantsing that I must protest. It's not the short shorts, it's the saddle that I take issue with. I find it very disturbing; it's more upsetting than Nuclear Dan's banana. | | Well, we did mention that yellow might not be George's color. In any case, please stand by for more to come. | |
| 844 | 3/8/2007 10:34:00 PM | Nuclear Dan | Aoogah, aoogah! Dive, dive!
It ain't me babe. NO NO NO It ain't me you're lookin' for babe. | | Thanks for the help. That problem has been resolved using our patented in-house proprietary process. Thanks again. | |
| 843 | 3/8/2007 3:26:00 PM | Palletman | Dad, I may be old, but I'll always be younger than you! | | Confirmed. I like the NEW Palletman even less than the old one. | |
| 842 | 3/8/2007 11:42:00 AM | SlamCrank | I hear that Paul Levine just phoned and the discussion turned to those photos of Palletman during the last Bethel Race, about how he's starting to look like Joe Straub. Is it correct that Paul said, "Yeah. Palletman looks totally different. When you're talking to him you just keep thinking, 'I know that guy from somewhere. I just can't place him.'" | | I never liked the old Palletman, and I doubt I'll like the new one any better. | |
| 841 | 3/8/2007 10:17:00 AM | Palletman | Hey Mary Beth, I haven't seen you out on the bike in like four months. It's starting to show. Don't think that just because the Black Widow gives you girls all this nice bling (i.e. shirts, etc), that she likes you. Hey Bob, do you think you could get us guys some shirts soon? | | Looks like you are in contention for an FG Pre-Cognition Award. Pants shirts are in the can, so to speak, and I am only barely able to control myself and not publish them all at the same time, and right NOW. You will be especially interested to see the Jimmy Nails edition. Not to mention the Dr. Art, Dangerous Dan, Nuclear Dan, and Mary Ellen editions which are all, "ready to go." And the Grand Finale Paul Levine Pantsing will have you pissing. But today I think we'll be working on the winner of the "Sick Like SlingShot" award. | |
| 840 | 3/7/2007 11:23:00 PM | FG | Cranky, you are on to something... I was wondering where I caught this nasty cold! | | Time to disinfect! | |
| 839 | 3/7/2007 9:25:00 PM | Cranky | Hmm.. I would not have recognized Slingshot in the grocery store looking like today's photo. Its definately the missing Spine shirt.
Also, Slingshot, I am now harboring that darn cold. Must have caught it on americanroadcycling.org | EXTRA
LINK... | Whew… you sure dodged a bullet on this one. The sepsis underlying this site is particularly lethal. | |
| 838 | 3/7/2007 9:05:00 PM | guesse what | | | | |
| 837 | 3/7/2007 8:10:00 PM | guessewho??????? | whats up florida.hope your feeling better bob.my training is going well so you better shape up.maybe after a few more weeks you'll actually be able to put that pea of a brain to work. | | | |
| 836 | 3/7/2007 4:44:00 PM | SlamCrank | What's this I hear about the web logs showing that Kevin Haley was on the home page for 2 minutes today? There is not that much to read! | | Must have been playing with himself. | |
| 835 | 3/7/2007 11:15:00 AM | Palletman | Bob, you look younger in the photo with the dog. What did you do? Dye your hair? Do tell. | | Does the word "Photoshop" mean anything to you? However, The Black Widow claims she touched hardly a thing on it and blames it on my sickness with resultant hydration. | |
| 834 | 3/7/2007 12:38:00 AM | UV71/44 | Your music site was very interesting. It's not what I expected from you… which I guess could be taken as a compliment or an insult. | | Exactly. But in order to decide, I would have to care. In any case, this has pretty much clinched your identity for us. Thanks for the feedback. Now, if you could just send along a notarized photograph of yourself… we are working on a little project. | |
| 833 | 3/6/2007 8:47:00 PM | BLASTER | Bob, Any tips on where to buy an MP3 player cheap? | | Funny you should ask. Aside from the fact that the computer you are typing on is an MP3 player, American Road Cycling is running a special on them. Here's your link ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 832 | 3/6/2007 6:35:00 PM | Palletman | SlingShot, I've got bad news. Toe Clip Guy is really serious this year. He was spotted on Ridgebury last Saturday doing repeats. We passed him when he was on his forth or fifth repeat, he couldn't remember which number it was when we passed. In between wiping the snot from his nose and gasps of air he was heard to say something like "I've got his cheese, I've got his cheese." | | Toe Clip is like a son to me. | |
| 831 | 3/6/2007 4:48:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Kudos to the guys that did well at Bethel: Dan Palletman, Joe S., etc… and in two weeks, I'm looking to try Bethel as a "pre-season-practice-race"… my goal… not to get dropped!!! Congrats and good luck in the season. | | Man, Toe Clip, you got more IP#'s than FG. I'm going to have to set you up with a secret password, just so I know it's you… if this IS you. You are like a son to me. In any case, best I can tell, you missed seeing the Bethel Results. Here's your link ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 829 | 3/6/2007 11:29:00 AM | Palletman | That's what I like about this site. If there isn't anything to write about, just make the shit up. Whoever posted under my nom is a cowardly little chicken shit! BTW: Lynn where did you get those shorts, they look good on you. | | Noboby's makin' up nothin'. BTW: I know who posted using your nom, but I'm not saying. I really hadn't realized how much that person HATES Cranky (by the posting times it looks like they were laying in wait), and I don't want to cause anymore trouble than already exists. | |
| 828 | 3/5/2007 9:44:00 PM | SlamCrank | When Lynn gets home from work, you people are going to be in big trouble. | | Palletman lives in a permanent state of trouble. This is going to be a somewhat new experience for Cranky. | |
| 827 | 3/5/2007 9:39:00 PM | Palletman | You only look fat when you ride next to the Black Widow | | | |
| 826 | 3/5/2007 9:31:00 PM | Cranky Lynn | Is that photo with Rodger you or me? If it's you, who said you could borrow those shorts that ride up when you go real fast? BTW:, When I wear those, do they make me look fat? | | | |
| 825 | 3/5/2007 11:50:00 AM | Zirra | Barnacle Jane… your ego apparently can't handle getting trounced by the Fat Guy… after you spent all last season sucking Bob's wheel---up hill. I am doing Lake Placid again to cap off my work on hills, so my presence is guaranteed. You, Bob, Levine, and even Grant can just pull into my copious draft.
K | | Let the games continue. BTW: You have hurt The Black Widows widdle feelwings, and she has quit. | |
| 824 | 3/5/2007 10:14:00 AM | The Blackest Widow | All I know is that Poor Levine and I waited 3 times for Godzilla to show up to the Hump last season to kick our asses, and 3 times he was a NO SHOW!! Talk is really cheap on this site. BTW: I am posting this before Slingshot gets back from looking at used cars, 'cause he won't allow me to post on his website. | | Widow, get back in your corner. And no, you ain't gonna win a Granny for this one! | |
| 823 | 3/5/2007 9:33:00 AM | Zirra - Whale Boy | It is amazing how fast one falls out of memory.
Short résumé reminder:
Dropped Mary like a hot rock--over and over again.
Finished with the front group (almost), Tour de Goshen.
Pulled those silly OCBC clowns for 100 miles at 19 for 5 hours.
Passed Turtle Boy on Heart Attack for KOM points.
Looks like I need to start making the trip up for the Hump to reintroduce myself…
and there is no way I was going to read some rant about computers and Bob's dismay that big box retail sucks.
What is the next installment, car salesmen will tell you anything to sell a car? --
z | EXTRA
LINK... | Didn't you mean to say "bicycle sales associates"? BTW: Users of this Chatter Box may incur PayPal percentage penalties, despite what the Widow Noire said (above) while I was out. | |
| 821 | 3/4/2007 11:48:00 PM | Assassin | Bob, I'm looking to buy a new recliner. Any advice on the best brand, and where to buy it? RSVP in 50 words or less. Thank you. | | Given your current situation, you may as well get the recliner that is used by all the other former cyclists who have finally thrown in the towel and given up on cycling. While I am using the final words that you have so generously allowed for my reply, here's your link ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 820 | 3/4/2007 12:51:00 AM | BLASTER | Bob, I'm bored with your talking about computers. There are things I need to know. Who has the best ass? And who is the fat guy? Who is ready to race? And who is too fat to come home from Florida? With this info, I will be ready to train. | | Ok. 1) Humberto has the best ass, though it is currently disappeared under a blubbering mound of gut fat. 2) I assume you are talking about Zirra. Don't you recognize him? He pulled your sorry (not the best) ass for the entire Farmlands Century last year. Remember? [Pass this on to your little submersible friend who has been harassing us under an assumed name.] 3) Nobody. But that doesn't stop them from racing. 4) Nobody. But that doesn't mean they are coming home. 5) There is no need to train, because all your lazy ass work buddies seem to be taking the winter off also. Only Brand New Bruce has qualified for the real cyclist's T-shirt. | |
| 819 | 3/3/2007 2:04:00 PM | Art (my nom this week is Ken Liver Sausage) | Bob, the op-ed piece on computers was informative. It was also endless. If you bring that story in for a shortening, I could have it ready for you by Thursday. | | I'll bring it in right away, soon as it's finished. Glad to see you enjoyed the intro. | |
| 818 | 3/3/2007 11:49:00 AM | guesse who | nice try bob and mary.who the hell is zirra?i'v been doing some serious training for upcoming events in the spring.maybe you will get a good look at the back of my shirt old timer.so eat your fresh oranges and try to stay in good health.you'll need it.over and out. | | Like we don't know who you are? But thanks for the opportunity to get Zirra coming back for more. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 817 | 3/3/2007 11:09:00 AM | SlamCrank | I hear that it's taking about 9 minutes for everybody to read through your last rant. Sounds like a record. What's your problem, SlingShot? | | There's no problem here. Besides, Zirra didn't even read it, and Cranky is the only one who bothered to hit the internal links. Still, she read the page just as fast as everybody else. She must be doing some extra work on her scansion repeat intervals. In any case, it must be a pretty interesting article, because Poor Levine was on it for almost 30 seconds, and he can't even read. | |
| 816 | 3/3/2007 10:21:00 AM | Palletman | SlingShot, would you mind handing out McNeilly Wood Products job applications to those big box guys you spoke with? They sound like just the kind of person we are looking for. Thanks | | Guess I miscommunicated, because I thought it would be obvious. All those big box guys were American Citizens, without criminal records… not anybody you'd likely be interested in. But here's your link ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 815 | 3/3/2007 4:25:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | Now that's computer skills!!! Slingshot sees me reading his testimonial on the Rennaisance guy, and manages to insert a blurb from out of left field referencing the climbing repeats post to OCBC site. That's pretty good Slingshot! Let's see you do that again….Take note of someone else reading the testimonial, and throw in a blurb with their name in it just as they are about to finish the read.... | | Hee, hee, hee… Like I'm still awake at 1:25 am. Actually, just as I was finishing (around 11:30), I thought I should at least say SOMETHING about cycling. Then after I put in something about me, I remembered people always like it better if I say something about somebody else. And of course, mentionining one of the 3 people that actually read this site is always a plus, but I already mentioned Kevin Haley last month. The Widow Noire had earlier mentioned Toe Clip had some hair brained riding scheme, so… | |
| 814 | 3/2/2007 8:45:00 AM | Whale Boy | I look thinner than I feel. The camera really does add 100 pounds. Well, that and food.
WB | | Hmm… using the 100 lb off-set from the photo to reality, I guess that means with just a little work you could get your weight under 10,000 lbs. BTW: Hell Boy called. He wants his hands back. | |
| 813 | 2/28/2007 10:43:00 PM | Art (My nom however is Martin Van Buren) | A few things I'd like to say here: First, I am troubled to report that my health is still not nearly as poor as I'd hoped. By now I wanted to be close enough to death to be able to call off my talk at the OCBC meeting on Saturday. My plan 'B' is coming closer to fruition, that of course is setting fire to the restaurant on Saturday morning. Plan 'C' is not as exciting, but it has teeth, and that is to let Joe Straub speak first, and at the end of his presentation, simply walk up to the microphone and say "ditto." The photo on 2/27/07 was disturbing, it left my wife with this observation: "If all guys looked like that, I would be a lesbian for sure." When I shared with her the revelation that it was in fact a photo of me, she queried, "Who's that cute girl who just moved in down the street?" In closing, I've reviewed the latest Road Rash comic entries, the common thread in all three? THEY ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY! | EXTRA
LINK... | ditto | |
| 812 | 2/28/2007 10:13:00 PM | Turtle Boy | Hey! Didn't Whale Boy kick my ass up Heart Attack Hill? | | Yes. But that was way back when he was only Walrus Boy. | |
| 811 | 2/28/2007 9:14:00 PM | FG | ..don't you mean the photo hasn't been ART-fully doctored? | | No… If I meant that, I would have said that. I meant that it has not been adjusted. | |
| 810 | 2/28/2007 9:00:00 PM | SlamCrank | SlingShot, I believe that "guess who?" was really asking about the identity of the young INBF hopeful in the photo on the home page, not their own. They know who they are. | | Oh… my mistake. I haven't got a clue who is in the photo, but I do know it has not been doctored. | |
| 809 | 2/28/2007 7:25:00 PM | guesse who? | Who put the gay picture up Bob? Bet you can't guess who this is? Maybe next time, when you zero in on my computer from sunny Florida. Have a splendid day, and see you in the Spring. | | This is too easy. I don't have to guess who you are. I KNOW who you are. Using a number of proprietary programs and patented in-house processes (of my own design), I have easily confirmed your identity. Nothing to it really. Here's the quick (though partial) summary: You arrived at the web site via a google search for "americanroadcycling." However, the IP you came in on has never been here before. Therefore, it has never been assigned even a lowly UV (Unknown Viewer) number. Therefore, there is absolutely no mistaking your identity. You are a NOBODY! No really, Zirra... you are a nobody. | |
| 807 | 2/27/2007 8:22:00 PM | FG | What am I talking about? That wasn't a picture of Jean-Claude Van Damme on your home page, now was it?!? Now I know why I feel like I was rode hard and put away wet when I walk out of an adjustment! | | We'll look into it. Let's see… you say there's a picture on the home page? | |
| 806 | 2/27/2007 10:28:00 AM | FG | Please!! No more disturbing pictures!! Now I have to add chiropractors to my list of fears. I recently got over my fear of clowns, and now its back to the therapist. I just came off the meds, too. There goes the fuggin' tax refund!! | EXTRA
LINK... | Nobody said nothin' about no chiropractors. What are you talking about? And where'd you find that old picture of The Black Widow? | |
| 805 | 2/27/2007 9:44:00 AM | Palletman | I've been waiting ten days, fourteen hours and forty-six minutes for, at this point, any wench to show up and show me her ass in the Big V parking lot. BTW: The deli does have better coffee than Dunkin Donuts. | | Well, we hear that Brand New Bruce has been at the Big V, and even won a free T-shirt. At work they call him the "Golden Wrench." Isn't that close enough? | |
| 804 | 2/26/2007 11:59:00 PM | SlamCrank | No, really! This year I WAS going to kick everybody's ass. | | I reviewed Yahoo maps regarding the Hump's impending bridge out situation, and it looks like the only way around is to go right at Maple Ave., across School House Road, then up to Soon's Orchard on 17m. There's also access to a better hill than Ridgebury Road just beyond that. Alternatively, I'm thinking… you know, from Big V, the High Point Loop is only 48 or 52 miles. We could temporarily make the Hump a real ride with an actual Cat 1 climb in it. Of course, this is all up to Palletman, but as we've seen, he really has his work cut out for him trying to come up with a decision that will satisfy the Meow Mix girls. | |
| 803 | 2/26/2007 11:41:00 PM | Bianchi | Geeeez, it's still more than a month before the season starts, and we're already talking about this year's ass-pirations. By the way, what's this about the Black Widow giving away Dr. Art for free, because it's costing me a new cadence sensor and a slice of lemon cake just to have him speak at the Winter Party this Saturday. And SlingShot, as I remember you have had the opportunity (on more than one occasion) to view each of these road wenches derrieres, so you had better watch what you say. If you don't favor the Black Widow buttocks, the next time you're in the city you could be left there waiting in Starbucks with a piece of lemon cake shoved up you know where. Decisions, decisions. Suffering the wrath of the Black Widow, or being lambasted by the tag team of Cranky and Twinn Lynn. Silence is golden but my eyes still see. | | | |
| 802 | 2/26/2007 10:53:00 PM | Twin Lynn | The Black Widow gives it away for free. Oh, yeah, right, I forgot...it's art. | | | |
| 801 | 2/26/2007 9:23:00 PM | Cranky | Hey Lynn, here they go confusing us again. | | Remember, technically the Black Widow has the best a$$—according to Pallet. | |
| 800 | 2/26/2007 9:07:00 PM | Caliper Girl | What a shame about the bridge being out! That's gonna add a lot of drive time to Lynn's commute to work. Guess she could save some time by getting undressed at home. | | I'm not touching this. Write your own Personal SlingShot. | |
| 799 | 2/26/2007 8:41:00 PM | SlamCrank | It's really sad to hear about The Hump being cancelled. This is the year that I was going to kick everybody's ass. | | | |
| 798 | 2/26/2007 7:40:00 PM | Omniscient One | FYI to all Humpers… The Maple Avenue (County Route 37) bridge will be closed for replacement from approximately 14 March to 15 December, 2007... plan alternate routes accordingly... This has been a Public Service Announcement | | Now SlingShot has to go all the way around to visit Passions… so close yet so far… | |
| 797 | 2/24/2007 10:03:00 PM | SlamCrank | That was the BEST race there ever, ever was. | | | |
| 796 | 2/24/2007 6:33:00 PM | SlingShot | Road Rash was in our afternoon mailbox. Coming soon... very soon! Well, soon's I get Photoshop re-installed after the big meltdown. | | | |
| 795 | 2/24/2007 6:30:00 PM | Assassin | That was A great video of Mary going both ways. It remindes me of when I was young, riding my bike to school up hill both ways.
| | Hmm… trying to tone down our nom a bit, are we? In order to avoid some schooling? | |
| 794 | 2/24/2007 11:19:00 AM | FG | My spidey-sense is tingling... could there be more Road Rash comic installments in our near future? | | Has Dr. Art been adjusting your tingulator? You might have the scoop on everybody on this one. | |
| 793 | 2/23/2007 10:59:00 PM | BLASTER | After seeing the video of the Black Widow going both ways, I notice she was in a school zone. I have been there, and I know the roads. Even with the poor photography, and the slow speed of the cars, I can see she needs help. After seeing this I feel that I have another week or so before getting the trainer out. | | You are correct… a school zone. So don't worry too much about getting out the trainer. Mary'll be back in NY soon enough, and taking you to school. | |
| 791 | 2/23/2007 5:44:00 PM | SlamCrank | Please, don't nobody ask us again. We have no idea what FG is talking about either. Unless SlingShot gets his computer back up and running, it's unlikely we'll ever know. | | I think he's talking about Chatter Box #785, regarding Leipheimer/FG's road rash which is actually hiding the FG tats. | |
| 790 | 2/23/2007 12:04:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | That WAS a great finish last fall and we'll have alot more of those this spring if you would just get on the bike yourself and stop taking videos of the Black Widow going both ways....(umn!) | | I only do what The Black Widow tells me to do. I'll ask her if I can start riding again. | |
| 789 | 2/22/2007 10:35:00 PM | FG | A potato peeler does the trick nicely! | EXTRA
LINK... | A belt sander with 60-grit sandpaper will do the trick too, especially on that g clef | |
| 788 | 2/22/2007 6:10:00 PM | Palletman | SlingShot, please refrain from talking about Tour of California results until Day + 2 from the stage in question. You're fucking ruining it for those of us going home to watch it from the night before! 11 pm is way past my bed time. | | Here's the trick. When you come onto the American Road Cycling web site, close your eyes, put cotton in your ears, and hold your nose until you leave it. Most people do that in everyday life anyway. | |
| 787 | 2/22/2007 4:13:00 PM | Praveen | Hello Mr. President. How is membership cancelled. I think I was impersonated before. | | Your name is removed. We already have too many members anyway. We should probably remove Toe Clip Guy for the third time also. | |
| 786 | 2/22/2007 11:56:00 AM | SlingShot | No… I'm just sayin'. In any case, did you watch that incredible finish with Voigt, Leipheimer, and Horner working together over the last miles. That was sweet. It reminded me of last summer's breakaway from a Space Farms ride with Toe Clip Guy, the Gapper, the Dropper, and me. I swear I could still feel it in my legs, even though this time I was flat on my back hacking like a TB victim. | | What the fuck are you talking about? | |
| 785 | 2/22/2007 11:49:00 AM | SlingShot | Anybody notice the big patch of supposed road rash on Leipheimer's shin? I think it is just part of the cover up for the Sun and Moon tattoos. I'm pretty sure Levi is actually Frank Guarnuccio, and that explains why we never saw FG all summer. He was off practicing to be Levi. It also explains the odd familiarity we feel when Leipheimer is interviewed. There's no doubt Frank is Levi. | | What the fuck are you talking about? | |
| 784 | 2/21/2007 11:33:00 AM | SlingShot | Last night's finish to the Tour de California was exciting. Somebody passed somebody at the end, then somebody else passed them, then somebody else came around all of 'em and beat them by a distance that could easily be seen from the helicopter. Very exciting stuff. I don't know who the players are, because they all look like Dr. Art to me. I really, really love the Pro bicycle races. Mostly for the precision. Of course, by "precision" I mean that the races are more carefully choreographed than Professional Wrestling. I did make note how everybody played grab ass at the end, which reminded me why I never get involved in the sprint at the end of the Hump. Kevin and his friends might like the grab ass stuff, but I stay away from it. | | The other reason you stay away is because you only wish you were within cell phone distance of the sprint when it happens. | |
| 783 | 2/20/2007 3:02:00 PM | SlingShot | Quote from yesterday's coverage of the Tour de California, after the big crash, and the Officials declared an ally, ally, all's in free, keeping Levi Leipheimer in the Yellow: "It's déjà vu, as it was yesterday." - Liggitt | | I think I heard that before. | |
| 782 | 2/15/2007 11:46:00 PM | Twin Lynn | I thought the Black Widow's ass was you, Slingshot | | Wrong. I'm her bitch. | |
| 781 | 2/15/2007 11:09:00 PM | Palletman | I evaluated the last Cranky post. Due to people frequently mis-representing themselves on this web site, plus the tone, timber, and style of the writing, I do not believe this was the true Cranky Mary Beth speaking. There is only one way to fix this. Mary Beth, meet me in the parking lot of the Big V at 3:57 pm on Friday 2/16/07. I will evaluate your ass and render an opinion as to yours vs. The Black Widow's ass. Now, Black Widow, I'm working on memory here. So, either I need something more recent, or I'll be able to see you about, lets say 3:59 pm on the 16th. | | I guess what all the women have told me about Palletman is true then. He is very quick—illustrated by the paltry amount of time alloted for the Mary Beth Inspection. But we share his concerns over the veracity of the "Mary Beth" post, although we discount prima facie his position that a "girl" couldn't give such a mathmatically correct logical argument. In any case, it appears that a number of people have been given new IP#'s by Optimum. Check out the Attendance records, and you will be able to see our best effort to keep up with it. This week it looked like we had gotten a number of new viewers, but as they each approached the "3 times human-like viewing" which triggers assigning them a number, it became apparent that a number of regular viewers had "dropped" out at the same time. At this point UV44, Twin Lynn, and Cranky have all apparently gotten new numbers. So to help you out, Palletman (or probably we should start calling you FEARLESS)... so to help you out, I have provided a link to the most recent photo of The Widow's ass. Logs show you've already seen it, but since you seem to have forgotten, here it is again. Maybe this photo will allow you to make a baseline judgement regarding whose is better. ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 780 | 2/15/2007 9:09:00 PM | Cranky | Pallet, Pallet, Pallet… the transitive property says that if the Adamo = Cranky's Ass, and Blackwidow's ass = better than Adamo, then Blackwidow's Ass = better than Cranky's ass. Now, would you like to rethink that, or do you want to go on record with that one?
Surely you would want to compliment both of us, because you can't beat TP on your own yet, and you will need all the drafts you can find, even if they are only on the start of Round Hill. | | Now you've done it, Palletman. Have a good life. For my own part, I'm just glad The Black Widow is really bad at math. That way, I don't have to worry about her doing any mass, watts, time, acceleration calucations and deriving the specific distance that it is being assumed she is only barely capable of pulling somebody in need of a draft. I already had to convince her that "Round Hill" is a misspelling of "Dog Hill." | |
| 779 | 2/15/2007 12:18:00 PM | Palletman | Now who's sucking up to Mary Beth? | | I still need the draft. | |
| 778 | 2/15/2007 11:24:00 AM | Palletman | I want to be clear on this. I never, and I mean never mistook that Adamo Road Saddle ad as the Black Widow's ass. It looks more like Cranky Mary Beth's ass if you ask me. The Black Widow, as with everything else she says, is 100% correct in stating her ass looks better than that ad. I was referring to the Black Widow's Birthday present picture, Christmas card picture etc. etc. | | Jeez, Louise. One little photo of a butt, then there's nothin' but butt kissin' goin' on. Lookie here, Palletman, you're a front rider now. You don't need to kiss up for any draft. And beyond that, the Widow has no sway over the big boys. She can't get them to like you. You are out there on your own. In any case, nobody blamed you in the first place. We got actual phone calls on this one. BTW, Mary Beth: Stop writing this crap. I'm pretty sure this ain't Palletman, because he's smart enough to know that if he ever downgraded Mary Beth's bottom, he would have the remains of his own shredded ass freed up for pressing and gluing into pallet wood. | |
| 777 | 2/14/2007 6:33:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Dear Mr. Palletman: Don't be so RUDE ok?.... Now, Mr. Slingshot, would you kindly have a follow up shot posted, as we have been patiently anticipating this day…. much like Pavlov's dogs on crack (all it took was one view and we are now hooked)????? Thank you very much...Have a nice day. | | Sorry, that is the only photo of Palletman we could find. | |
| 776 | 2/14/2007 10:49:00 AM | Palletman | We want more pictures of the Black Widow....I miss her ass. | | No soup for you, little man! | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 775 | 2/13/2007 9:42:00 PM | Bruce | I did the Hump this weekend. It was cold but not too cold for this Marine. Looking forward to kicking your ass in the spring. So Bob, when am I a REAL cyclist??? | | Never. And from now on, be sure to sign in as "Brand New" Bruce, Bruce. | |
| 774 | 2/12/2007 10:48:00 PM | John Cocktosten | I'll have a Bloody Mary, a steak sandwich, and... a steak sandwich. | | As Frankie Pankie often says, "If God didn't want you to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them taste like meat." Is not the Hump just one big sit-down meal? At least until the crackers finally come out for their morning beer run, and it becomes a Chevy chase. | |
| 773 | 2/12/2007 9:59:00 PM | BLASTER | Huh.?. Since I never owned tweezers or a magnifying glass as a kid, does that mean I shouldn't have a rifle or a skinning knife now? I don't understand what you are trying to say. You can't make accusations when you are delusional from the ass whooping the Black Widow just gave you. Sucks to get old; and yes there are bad kids out there with tweezers, magnifying glasses, and guns. | | Stop it. You're scaring me. | |
| 772 | 2/12/2007 10:51:00 AM | Tire Iron | Hi, I've been getting e-mails about bad things that happened during the Winter Humps. Rules infractions, missed contestants, that sort of stuff. There was even something about these events being as bad as a USCF event. What's ARC going to do about this? | | Rules? What rules? If people choose to circulate their concerns through lowly e-mail, instead of going through the proper channels (this site, and the Chatter Box), American Road Cycling cannot be held responsible for the time they've wasted. They might as well throw away their comments on some local club site where slow riders post. In case you yourself wish to take up their cause, I have provided a link to the official contestation form over here. ---> | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 771 | 2/12/2007 10:11:00 AM | Palletman | Confirming, that yes it was "Brand New Bruce" at the 2nd WH series on Saturday. Although he did point out to me that this was his third season of riding and was wondering how long the "Brand New" nom was going to stick on him. | | Forever. | |
| 770 | 2/11/2007 11:01:00 PM | TP | Happy Birthday, Slingshot. Does this mean you can finally race Masters? Enjoy the Day! | | I can. But I'm not. | |
| 769 | 2/11/2007 10:58:00 PM | TP | I screwed up last night and possibly will get fired from my UPI job covering the "I Love the Hump Winter Series." Doug Allen braved the balmy weather and raced WH #2. He told me to go F myself when I asked him if he would ride another hour with me to get my Mike Norton prescribed 3 1/2 in. There was also a new guy named Bruce I saw at the start. I think he introduced himself as new guy Bruce. I don't know…I been busy trying to figure a way to get Kevin "Shithead" Haley's FREE T-Shirt up my ass. Shoving it isn't going to work without a lot of Chami Buttr' Kevin! | EXTRA
LINK... | First off, we'd better clear up people's confusion over those initializations… which are often erroneously termed "acronyms." The letters UPI of course stand for "Unreliable Pedaling Informants," so your position is probably safe. However, check with Poor Levine for any adjustments to your position that may be required. He knows all about that stuff. As for WH, ARC has not a clue. Maybe "Winter Hump" with Doug Allen finishing second. But that is unlikely. First, because Doug said he wasn't going to show up, and second, because he is currently saving himself in order to pull SlingShot all over OC next summer. As for your T-Shirt quandary, I wouldn't worry about that. Kevin will probably be able to help you. While Paul is a master at fitting people onto bicycles, Kevin is the master at fitting things up people's butt's. I hope you thanked him for the kind offer. And man, oh, man. If that was in fact THE "Brand New Bruce" who showed up for the T-Shirt, Nuclear Dan Buckley is going to have a cat! And a lot to live down. Oh, I get it. WH #2, Winter Hump Race #2. Never mind about Doug. And "3 1/2 in" THE SADDLE. You and Iron Mike should both go F yourself. I'm guessing "F" stands for some gym-geek term. BTW: If you see "Pretty Boy" tell him we looked into the problem with his nom. Unfortunately, once The Black Widow has spoken, well, you know… | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 768 | 2/11/2007 10:37:00 PM | Pretty Boy | Please, anything but "Pretty Boy."
Happy birthday. | | No problem. We'll come up with a nom you like, or better yet, not give you one at all. | |
| 767 | 2/11/2007 9:20:00 PM | FG | Oh lord... you mean I share a b'day with the great SlingShot?!? Could it be?!? To what do I owe this honor?!? Am I allowed to even be in your presence?!? Why is the sky blue?!? Do doves cry?!? What's the gear-inch equivilent of a 53/12 combo?!? | | Paging FG. Please report to the front desk and relinquish that birthday immediately. BTW: Yes you do. Yes it could. Luck of the draw. No. Rayleigh scattering. Only around The Black Widow, who causes the same display in Prince. You have never used that combo. | |
| 766 | 2/11/2007 8:48:00 PM | Blaster | HELLO, I went camping the weekend with 20 SCOUTS, and now I am being put in the same group as Cranky? Now you've really pissed me off. As soon as I finish my drink, I'm getting my trainer out and reading the manual to see how it's supposed to work. P.S. Happy B Day… ASS HOLE!!!!! | | I'm surprised they'll let you out in the woods with 20 kids, what with your little problem and all. Well, I guess it's ok if nobody's allowed to light a campfire within 200 yards of you. I think that's about how far behind you I was on Tirorati Brook Road when we first learned the secret of the Blaster? That was an open wooded area also, but it made little difference. Now, apologize to Cranky, or there'll be NOBODY left to wait up and ride with you. Too proud to apologize? Then get on that trainer. And Mary Beth, your "My Personal SlingShot" responses are getting better, but you really have to stop impersonating people. When Jim gets back from the campout, he's going to be really pissed off that you put this here using his nom. | |
| 765 | 2/11/2007 7:04:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Happy Birthday!... I see why you ride so much… if it weren't for the cardio benefits… you might risk serious injury before Valentine's Day… though it would be a great way to go!!... have a good one.... | | Stop it, Mary Beth. Enough is enough. | |
| 764 | 2/11/2007 4:28:00 PM | Humberto | I like birthday cake! | EXTRA
LINK... | Ok, so this actually was Humberto, but it came via e-mail. Somebody show Turtle Boy how to hit the "Post Comments" button. | |
| 763 | 2/11/2007 3:27:00 PM | Palletman | Man... if that's just for SlingShot's birthday, I can't wait till Valentine's day. | EXTRA
LINK... | Mary Beth, quit posting under assumed names, and go out and get a life. | |
| 762 | 2/11/2007 10:57:00 AM | SlamCrank | Mary Beth said that Palletman was on the ARC homepage for five minutes this morning before he moved on to the Chatter Box. | | Basking in his glory. | |
| 761 | 2/10/2007 11:08:00 PM | FG | *YAWNNNNNNN* Someone wake me up when you guys get all this crap hammered out, ok? | | What is this Mary Beth? Now you are pretending to be FG? We are going to have to remove the membership list so you can't figure out who to pretend to be next. Too bad you are banned from this site, because you would have loved reading the exciting recounting of today's race results, which is having the final links and commas added right this very moment. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 759 | 2/10/2007 10:41:00 AM | Doug Allen | At these temperatures, I think I would rather be sweating in a warmer basement than suffering outdoors for a T-shirt, just to let Joe beat the crud out of me! | EXTRA
LINK... | I'm not sure that I have a perfect memory on this, but I cannot recall anybody ever saying that Doug is NOT a pussy-ass loser. | |
| 758 | 2/10/2007 2:28:00 AM | Bianchi (the real one) | Slingshot, this is the same language that got you in trouble over at OCBC. I'm in charge of a large number of diverse riders, and I must say that I cannot allow myself to be associated with such language. You really need to clean up your act a bit. | EXTRA
LINK... | Sorry. I will work on a formal apology. In the meantime, remind everybody to show up at the Hump to qualify for their FREE T-shirt. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 757 | 2/10/2007 1:40:00 AM | Cranky (again) | Palletman, Pappi, Pallet - How about we go for CRAZY MIKE status on THIS website? Are ya in? At first I thought it was a compliment, but then I realized that OTHER website is just too nice to tell us to SHUT THE HELL UP. | | Shut the Fuck Up. | |
| 756 | 2/10/2007 1:39:00 AM | Cranky (the real one) | WHAT is going on here? I did not post as Twin Lynn. Is there a problem with IPs between Floriduh, NY that is, and Warwick??? However, they sometimes call me the Triplet, but I would not impersonate my sister, Twin Lynn. Slingshot, please get to the root of all of this chaos. | | Little late to start pulling out the "sisterhood" shit. Like I can't tell one IP# from another. BTW: Palletman (Cranky, the real one, indeed!), you are now required to present your ID before posting on this site. And stop trying to incite Twin Lynn's already rampant hatred of Mary Beth. | |
| 755 | 2/10/2007 12:49:00 AM | Turing Machine | Actually, I can't. | | Not surprising. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 754 | 2/10/2007 12:49:00 AM | Turing Machine | What is it with all these cross-referenced posts? | | It's probably hard for somebody like you to understand. You can't even spell "touring" correctly. Glad to see you finally gave up cycling and got a recumbant, though. Take it over to the Hump and get your FREE T-shirt. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 753 | 2/9/2007 11:51:00 PM | Lenny | How do I get me one of them FREE T-shirts? | | You don't. First, you have to get a nom. Up for grabs are: Bianchi, Palletman, SlingShot, Blaster, Nuclear, Poor Levine, Dr. Art, TP Joe Straub, Nurse Betty, Toe Clip Guy, FG, Snipe, and Turtle Boy as usual. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 752 | 2/9/2007 11:36:00 PM | Palletman | Oh boy. I love a good cat fight. | | Cranky Mary Beth Henderson is now also disallowed from using the pretend nom "Palletman," as far as we know this person doesn't even exist. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 751 | 2/9/2007 11:13:00 PM | Black Widow | That's it! I'm throwin' on my diapers, driving back to New York, and putting an end to all this Chatter Box shit. | | While you're at it, stop over at the Hump and pick up your free T-shirt. | EXTRA
LINK... |
| 750 | 2/9/2007 10:54:00 PM | Poohbah | Yeah!? Take it up with the Board. | | | |
| 749 | 2/9/2007 10:53:00 PM | Poohbah | Cranky Mary Beth Henderson is forthwith under injunction from using the full name, or partial derivatives of, or any part whatsoever of, the nom "Twin Lynn" in all further Chatter Box postings… neither as goof, spoof, nor spatter. Whether by personal volition, nor if acting as a fully authorized proxy. This is her final warning. She may still continue to use: Bianchi, Palletman, SlingShot, Blaster, Dr. Art, TP Joe Straub, Nurse Betty, Toe Clip Guy, and Turtle Boy as usual, because those names represent zero, zip, nada to the Membership. However, the trouble she has already caused with her usage of the registered stage name "Twin Lynn" must be given a fair chance to heal. If Cranky Mary Beth Henderson refuses to cooperate in this matter, not only will her current ban be reasserted most forcefully, she will be dropped from the site… which is to say that we will all start typing so fast, she will never catch up. | | Poohbah, you are not allowed to make these determinations! | |
| 748 | 2/9/2007 9:50:00 PM | Twin Lynn | No way, you can't pin that on me. I didn't do it. In fact, let me make it clear that I would never even dream of engaging the Powerful Oz in a game of hide and seek. At least not on the web, anyway. | EXTRA
LINK... | It seems Chester Pete is wrong. You're not a stupid bitch. At least you're capable of knowing when you're out of your league. Just as well. I wouldn't want to stoop so low. There would be no glory in my victory. It would be a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent. I probably wouldn't even bother gloating over it. For more than a day or two. | |
| 747 | 2/8/2007 12:21:00 AM | Brand New Bruce | I see there is a lot of hot air coming from FL, but it is not quite getting up here. Talk is cheap in training camp, when the sparring partner is told to go easy on the old man. By the way, PEAKING in FL is like kissing your sister. I am looking forward to kicking your ass in Harrimam. | | Don't hold your breath, unless your sister requires it. Otherwise, you might like to show up to the Hump the next couple Saturday's and do what you can to prove your so called manhood, plus win a FREE T-shirt. Details ---> | EXTRA
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| 745 | 2/7/2007 12:41:00 PM | Palletman | This impersonator stuff is starting to smell like the stuff the Taliban pulled at that other bike club. | | Must be some of the same players. At least you can be certain that only SlingShot can edit this field. Signed: Yours truly, Mike "The Spin Guy" | |
| 744 | 2/7/2007 12:18:00 AM | Bianchi | Nobody impersonates The Bianchi and gets away with it. When Mama Bianchi finds out who you are, you'll be spending a week in the hospital, just like me, to have the splinters removed from your nether region. Who cares who Spartacus was anyway. He never rode the hump, and he never owned a Bianchi. All he ever did was ride around in a chariot. What's happened to Dr. Art anyway? I asked Peetie Pete Peetie, if he wanted to speak first at the party, but he has a new job working for the Warwick DPW and didn't have the time… something about going to a rock quarry to select the best stones. Dr. Art has gone from Chiropractor to Psychopractor, ever since he lost that damned cadence sensor on E-bay. Geeeez, Dr. Art, get over it. You can't win ALL the time. Sorry, Bob, gotta go. My Fossil Fuel is melting all over my Lemon Cake and my Cappuccino is getting cold. | | If you think that lunkhead Bianchi impersonator is in for it, just wait till the Mama Bianchi gets hold of her own impersonator. Look, it is my sworn duty to keep such subterfuge off this web site. So to help out The Mama (it's in my own best interests), and since I know exactly who did it (probably had phone help, instigation, or coordination from another well known non-member according to the logs), well, I'm publishing their name. Listen up Mama, the Mama Bianchi impersonator (who had better leave immediately for their bomb shelter) is ^%&) (**&^(&,! @#@$@# $^%**(&(* $&*^*%# Fuck shit! What the hey just happened to my computer screen? | |
| 743 | 2/7/2007 12:00:00 AM | Mama Bianchi | Wha', you no lika da brownies ? | | You eadda da' brownies or I breaka you face. | |
| 742 | 2/6/2007 10:17:00 PM | Humberto | I like birthday cake too! | | | |
| 741 | 2/6/2007 9:53:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | I AMMMMMMMMM SPARTICUS | | Me too. | |
| 740 | 2/6/2007 7:19:00 PM | CaliperGirl | I am Spartacus! | | We think. Therefore, we post. | |
| 739 | 2/6/2007 7:18:00 PM | SlamCrank | I am Spartacus! | | | |
| 738 | 2/6/2007 7:17:00 PM | Spin Guy | I am Spartacus! | | | |
| 737 | 2/6/2007 7:16:00 PM | Grant Salter | I am beautiful! | | | |
| 736 | 2/6/2007 7:15:00 PM | Cranky | I am Spartacus! | | | |
| 735 | 2/6/2007 7:14:00 PM | Big Bianchi | I am Spartacus! | | | |
| 734 | 2/6/2007 7:13:00 PM | Palletman | I am Spartacus! | | | |
| 733 | 2/6/2007 4:48:00 PM | Praveen | There is an awful lot of impersonating going on around here. Who is really themself ??? | | Come to think of it, I'm not feeling very much like myself today. Otherwise, can any of us say we know ourselves? Take you for instance. Are you trying to make us believe you are Parveen Sangha, because you found a name on the membership list, but you couldn't quite remember how to spell it. Or is Parveen, actually Praveen who mispelled the name when submitting the Membership Form? Since this is your first time here, and your IP# originates from Lake Mary, FL, it is unlikely you have any knowledge of impersonations which may or may not exist on this site in any case. Unless of course Cranky or Spin Guy sent you here. They have been impersonating people all over the place, and been castigated accordingly. Except, last time we looked, we had scared them off the Internet altogether. | |
| 732 | 2/6/2007 11:00:00 AM | mema | Love the site. Look forward to more interesting conversations. | | If this post wasn't so complimentary (we are getting used to that), we would remove it just like everything else that comes in from parts unknown. Who the fuck are you? And how do you know Humberto? Or alternatively, why are you letting Bianchi tell you what to do online? | |
| 731 | 2/5/2007 8:29:00 PM | Cranky | I'm so upset. My ranking over at OCBC just dropped below "Ultimate Poker" to "Crazy Mike, enough said." What am I to do? | | Not an easy call. A temple shot risks missing altogether, while biting the bullet seems somewhat less refined. | |
| 730 | 2/5/2007 11:43:00 AM | Palletman | Chicago. I thought you were more hip than that. But , what do I know. How about that Cranky Mary Beth gettin her wings on the ARC web site. I think she's got the Black Widow's number this year. Black Widow better start workin extra hard, the season starts in 54 days. | EXTRA
LINK... | Chicago? What the fuck are you talking about? In any case, I don't think Cranky got her wings. She made her bones. And since she's already got the Black Widow's number, we may as well give it to everybody else. Mary's number is: 42, which answers a lot. | |
| 729 | 2/5/2007 11:29:00 AM | Spin Guy | Can't we all just get along? | | You are all just spinning your wheels. | |
| 728 | 2/5/2007 10:15:00 AM | Cranky | Great video Krusty. I think Slingshot is just ticked at you because you found a loophole in the attendence code. Maybe there should be a code enhancement to check the last timestamp of entry before checking the attendence register. There. Maybe that will keep him busy and off the roads. | | Upgrading the attendance register would require new hardware, not just a few lines of code. Unfortunately, I can't afford any of the new cerebral cortex's. | |
| 727 | 2/5/2007 9:56:00 AM | Palletman | Fix your time clock SlingShot. Maybe you banned Spin Guy for the wrong reason. | | It's hard to keep coming up with good reasons to ban people. Sometimes we just have to pick any old reason. Just so long as he's still banned, we don't care, but we still can't get him to stop showing up here. Does anybody really know what time it is? Right now my clock is showing 25 or 6 to 4. | EXTRA
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| 723 | 2/5/2007 10:47:00 PM | SlingShot | Goodnight, Palletman. You've had plenty. Go on off to bed, now. | | | |
| 722 | 2/4/2007 8:52:00 PM | Blaster | Yes you're right. I wasn't at Saturday's ride. Everyone knows a deer carcass isn't big enough to warm my ass. You need a moose or an elk. | EXTRA
LINK... | Or a circus tent. | |
| 721 | 2/5/2007 12:34:00 AM | SlingShot | Toe Clip… Duh?! You must have confused the Membership List with the Attendance Record. This is a new IP# for you, and we were all excited that we had a new UV. One more visit and a new number would have been assigned. Plus, we can't even begin to tell you the amount of excitement a new Membership Form generated around here. Easy come, easy go. | EXTRA
LINK... | Toe Clip, Make a note to self: "I do not need to fill out any more of those fucking Membership Forms at ARC. I already did it… twice!" | EXTRA
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| 719 | 2/3/2007 11:21:00 PM | Spin Guy | OK Kids. I've been banned from the (never to be mentioned again) American Road Cycling pages (I think I'm honored?). My Legal team Dewey, Screwem and Howe have adviced me that I may release the following video… due to the lack of cooperation given by the Party of the 1st part, and pursuant to a pissing off of the Party of the 2nd part, in a dispute over an Attendance Record, of which rules, regulations, and restrictions were never clearly established in any previous contract, neither verbal nor written. Hence, here is the UNCUT / UnRated Training tapes of the Black Widow and Slingshot. His sudden loss of weight has led to facial distortions and a newly acquired ability to stay on the roadway. | EXTRA
LINK... | Read the sign behind you, Mike. You are not allowed to be here. You'll be hearing from my own legal team, Ridgebury, Doghill, and Essturn, soon enough. | EXTRA
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| 718 | 2/3/2007 12:47:00 PM | CaliperGirl | Hey, Cranky, Palletman, UV44, Blaster, and Spin Guy… shouldn't you people be at the Hump? | | | |
| 717 | 2/3/2007 1:55:00 AM | SlamCrank | Hey, wait a minute. Hold on here. Isn't "Cranky," Mary Beth, and wasn't she banned from this site? | EXTRA
LINK... | One can only hope. | |
| 716 | 2/3/2007 1:17:00 AM | Cranky | Damn. I've held back long enough and have tried to stay under the radar on this vile site, but you have me hooked on Race to the Flag. After reading the documentary of the making of the film, its just gotten worse. I can't stop watching over and over and over.... | EXTRA
LINK... | Our sincerest apologies. It was an oversight on SlingShot's part. In early production he was experimenting with subliminal messaging and placed several frames at hour 4, 3 minutes, 42 seconds, and 7 frames into the film (just past the Prolog), which told people the film runs for only a few seconds, then another briefer message, app. 30 minutes later, which mentioned watching the whole thing over again. After problems arising among the focus group, those messages were supposed to have been removed from the final release version, but they were inadvertently left in, along with the longer sections at around hour 8 and a half which mentioned the popcorn purchases. The trick to break out of the loop is to not look in the dog's eyes. They follow you everywhere. Sorry… and wipe that yellow butter substitute oil off your chin. | EXTRA
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| 715 | 2/2/2007 9:38:00 PM | Blaster | Sorry, Mary… no trainer tonight. I'm doing some weight lifting. 12 oz curls; and, maybe later, I'll work on getting my heart rate up. | | Mary is not at this address. However, great! I'd select the Bud weights, and let my training partner do the spotting for the aerobics. Even better would be for you to just stop working out altogether. I'm looking for an easy spring and easier summer. -SlingShot | |
| 714 | 2/2/2007 9:17:00 PM | Assassin | I heard that some text of Humberto saying something comes up when you point at the Turtle Boy photo. I don't see it. | | You have to take your hand off your thingy for a moment. You've probably never done that before. | EXTRA
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| 713 | 2/2/2007 10:07:00 AM | Palletman | Black Widow thank you for the compliment. And just to prove it, I'll let you know that Palletman was 156.5 lbs. on the scale this am. Think about it SlingShot. Have a nice ride Black Widow. | | Blow ME, Bitch. Let go of the chandelier. | |
| 712 | 2/1/2007 8:00:00 PM | The Black Widow | Palettman, you fucking dick! The pelicans are flying backwards. The grapefruits are blowing off the trees. And I just had to suck Slingshot's wheel for 44 miles. All because of your dumbass comment about him not training. | | Blow ME, Bitch. | |
| 711 | 2/1/2007 10:48:00 AM | Palletman | Fifty-nine days till we start kicking your ass SlingShot. Obviously you aren't training based on the amount of time you are wasting on this web site. | | You wish! If you think that, you are a fool, or at least you will be on that day. | |
| 710 | 1/31/2007 11:35:00 PM | FG | Et Tu, Arte`? | | | |
| 709 | 1/31/2007 10:13:00 AM | FG | Very Van Gogh-ish... was this some of his earliest work? | | Yes, it was apparently done very early. I believe it was while he was still in medical school. You can see that he must have just begun wearing his suspenders but was already focused on the performance values expressed by people's calves. I think his later work is somewhat less precise in terms of draftsmanship, but it could be merely because he has moved from crayon to drafting pen. I'm pretty sure he is afflicted with the same problem with his vision that Van Gogh had… but he is too vain to get actual riding glasses. Watch out for glass and debris when you are on his wheel. | EXTRA
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| 708 | 1/30/2007 8:11:00 PM | FG | What's up wit da road rash.. I was led to believe (falsely, I might add?) that RR was going to be a weekly installment?!? As usual, you build my hopes up, then pull the rug out from under my feet...you people are pathetic! | EXTRA
LINK... | Sorry. I take full responsibility. I shot Dr. Art's wad by posting them all at once. I just couldn't hold back. I have tried to make it up to you by tracking down the earliest known Road Rash Comic, never before published ---> | EXTRA
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| 707 | 1/30/2007 2:25:00 PM | SlingShot | That's it! Now the whole lot of you are banned. | | Palletman, make 'em stop! | |
| 706 | 1/30/2007 2:23:00 PM | CaliperGirl | LOL...: ) | | LO-fucking-L…: D ) | |
| 705 | 1/30/2007 12:51:00 PM | Cranky | Tell the truth Slingshot. It was not my colloquial use of LOL that got you all torked off. It was my rude and inconsiderate use of the word 'important'. Apology too late. | EXTRA
LINK... | Here today, gone tomorrow. Don't let the door hit you in the ass. | EXTRA
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| 704 | 1/30/2007 12:02:00 PM | SlamCrank | Well, I hear Humberto finally matriculated. | | I assume by that you mean he is now regulary hitting the American Road Cycling Home page, doing what is asked, checking out the Old New's, then ending on the Chatter Box... just like everybody else. Guess we'll change his name from Turtle Boy to Pavlov's Dog, or is that SlingShot's Puppy? | EXTRA
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| 703 | 1/29/2007 12:33:00 PM | Cranky (Mary Beth) | So is this Slingshot? | | No, just one of his minions. Ask Bianchi. BTW: You have made me a hero. I was asked to fish for Tuna, and I got the Great White! The mystery IP# for UV37/51 now confirmed. Welcome to American Road Cycling stardom. | EXTRA
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| 702 | 1/29/2007 12:27:00 PM | Palletman | Oh….. I thought I was being hip and cool knowing William Carlos Wiliams. | | Well, you were. William Carlos Williams is a hip reference, which points to stuff I was being instructed to read at college where, as my father used to say, "I was being hypnotized by communists." | |
| 701 | 1/29/2007 10:45:00 AM | Palletman | SlingShot, regarding your response to post # 674. Did you mean William Carlos Williams famed poet/pediatrician? Most notable for his epic work "Paterson." Your response has been bothering me for some time now. I've researched Wendy Carlos Wiliams and come up with a blank. | EXTRA
LINK... | Did the music for Clockwork Orange. Usually just Wendy Carlos. Was a major seminal recording artist, composer/synthesist throughout the beginning of the digital age. Could have been viewed as my major competitor, but her album releases focused on covers of classics, not purely electronic original compositions, so they were not the same sort of creature as was my ground breaking "Factory Preset" album (1987), which was the very first ever of its kind. Very good stuff, however. It was a moment in time. | EXTRA
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| 700 | 1/28/2007 2:02:00 PM | Cranky (Mary Beth) | Hi. Who is this? Robb is supposed to MC w/ Dr. Art speaking(?) I don't know Dr. Art. Do you? | | What? No, never heard of him. Aren't you a little slow to be on this site? | EXTRA
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| 699 | 1/28/2007 10:56:00 AM | Palletman | Thanks SlingShot. Those shots of Mary have given me the strength to get up and go ride! | | Yeah. It's about time you got your lazy ass outa bed. Paul Levine has already checked in today from San Juan, and Spin Guy was already on just after midnight…when the morning was only 19 minutes old. | |
| 697 | 1/26/2007 12:25:00 PM | SlamCrank | Exciting news, people. Humberto Cavalheiro (a very admirable human, not at all the butt of SlingShot jokes, a prized friend for sure) and Kevin Shithead Haley (quite the opposite) have been trading hit licks on American Road Cycling all morning. | | Wouldn't you just love to have heard their little phone conversations that most likely went along with their browsing? They probaby went right out to the diner to gorge on comfort food. | |
| 696 | 1/26/2007 9:59:00 AM | Palletman | Come on SlingShot..we're all waiting for "Mary vs. The World"....I've been on the edge of my seat all week. | EXTRA
LINK... | <--- There is just one other kind request which supercedes your own, and which we have decided to honor tomorrow. One wouldn't expect a simple little gardener like Turtle Boy, excuse me, I mean Mr. Cavalheiro, to have such a large number of lawyers at his disposal. Really, Tuxedo gardener notwithstanding. In any case, all things considered, the Mary v. World episode ain't that funny anyway. It's just a quick photo essay; but fortunately, she has no personal legal staff. ---> | EXTRA
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| 695 | 1/26/2007 12:02:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | By the way Slingshot, didn't you recognize Spin Guy in the Steer get up? He's in disguise spying on you and the Black Widow....(he's checking on your training and hoping you don't notice him....) | | Yes. Of course we recognized Spin Guy. We even asked him what the fuck he was doing following us. He said it was just a coincidence. That he came down to Orlando to work on his Mickey Mouse riding style. But what is this "disguise" you mention. | EXTRA
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| 694 | 1/25/2007 11:55:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Hey Slingshot, have you heard the latest? There WILL be a group ride at OCBC this saturday regardless of the sub-freezing temps and probable icey roads....Don't you wish you were up here for a change of pace??? | | Yes. We would love to slow down our pace. Wait… what'd you say… regardless of sub-freezing? No. | |
| 693 | 1/25/2007 10:37:00 AM | Humberto | It does not surprise me that once in a while, a couple of turtles wash up to the Portuguese coast. As I remember, I have had many turtles show up on my neighbor's driveway. | | Thank you for the compliment, Humberto. The black widow and I are usually called a beached whale, and an albatross. I guess all the others on your CC list will enjoy this in their own way. | EXTRA
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| 687 | 1/23/2007 12:56:00 AM | Art/Artie | Lynn,
I'm looking at the drawing of Paul, and I see what you mean. It does look like Paul's eyes are closed...the line under his eye looks as if it could be a closed eye. It is not meant to look that way, I also did not mean for Ben Serotta to appear to be wearing sunglasses, they are actually two eye patches. I've also inadvertently submitted these comics to the American Road Cycling web site. I meant to send them to Field and Stream magazine. I apologize for any confusion I may have caused. I should add that I have been holding Amelia Earhart against her will for some time now. When you factor in all of this, and more, is there any doubt in anyone's mind that I am simply not fit to be the speaker at the winter OCBC meeting? | EXTRA
LINK... | Oh, god, here we go again. Everybody, please read carefully the top of ---> | EXTRA
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| 686 | 1/22/2007 11:34:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Dr Art, your comics are great, but your renderings of Paul's eyes have always mystified me, and I can't stand it any more, so I have to ask. Are Paul's eyes always closed with scrunching eyebrows above them? Or are his eyes always wide open with bags underneath? Please explain, because every time you release a new comic I find myself staring at Paul far more than I should. I hope you can answer this question for me, so that I can cut back on my lunestra dosage. | | I'm answering this for Art, because I myself had never noticed that little "Paulie eyes" thing until the first comic that Paul appeared in. The Black Widow hit the floor doubled over in laughter, "Oh, my God! Look how perfect Art made Paul's eyes… the way he always does that look." I said, "What look?" Mary says, "That wide-eyed sideways glance. Paul always does that when he's worried, or just thinking." The spookie part is once it was pointed out to me, I started seeing him doing it all the time. Now, when we see it happening, we laugh and point, "You've got the Paul eyes goin'." Then Paul starts giggling, and we can never tell anymore if he's doin' it for real, or just playin' to the crowd. Especially on the times when I see it, laugh, and don't say anything, but he knows what I'm about. You are probably going to be sorry you ever asked, 'cause once you are aware of it, you can't stop seeing it. Plus the Road Rash version is not nearly as extreme as the real deal "Paulie eyes." The following example is not as severe as it usually gets, but here, take a look at the bottom of the page linked right. ---> | EXTRA
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| 685 | 1/22/2007 9:36:00 PM | FG | mmmmmmm....road rash... arghhhhhhhh~~~~~ | | Zirra? | |
| 684 | 1/22/2007 8:50:00 PM | SlamCrank | Holy Fuck! Road Rash is BACK! Wheeee.... | EXTRA
LINK... | Damn slammin' straight, Jack. New Rash… and a three parter at that! | EXTRA
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| 682 | 1/20/2007 2:41:00 PM | CaliperGirl | That "turtle" looks more like a bumblebee to me. | | Except, you can't find its tiny little stinger. | EXTRA
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| 681 | 1/20/2007 11:43:00 AM | You know the IP | Screw Al Gore. Slingshot created the INTERNET. | | No shit Cleetus. Who would you vote in for President? | EXTRA
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| 680 | 1/19/2007 9:51:00 PM | FG | ..someone say Road Rash?!? where.. when.. | | A little birdie told SlamCrank that 3 (that's right three of 'em) are in the mail, soon to arrive, photo'd, and published…right here! Stay tuned. It's not like you ain't already been lookin'. | |
| 679 | 1/19/2007 1:33:00 PM | SlamCrank | Somebody tell Frank Guarnuccio there is a rumor of more Road Rash comics in the works. That should calm him down some. | | Must be winter, and everybody's snowed in. | |
| 678 | 1/19/2007 12:53:00 PM | Palletman | SlingShot, while you are at it why not just loose the www. at the same time. I mean for us knuckle head board bangers the prefix www. is just as stupid as htt// or whatever it is. Shouldn't .com or .org or .gov be enough? Report back to me and see what you can do. However don't let it screw up your riding schedule, you'll need those miles under your belt in April cause I got your cheese man. | EXTRA
LINK... | Early Netscape used to fill in all those things for users. It assumed the "http://" then would go through sequentially and check for .gov, .edu, etc. Circa 1996, I put together 33 free web sites for people (when a cheap site was $100+ /mnth) in a way that they would merely have to tell other people at a party something like this, "My web site is keytap/pallets." Then browsers stopped being so helpful. Didn't matter, because in the meantime I had already realized the Internet was unlikely to be useful, for any human being who has an actual product or service, for many years to come. [still waiting] The Chatter Box is merely a unique and clever use of basic database technology. I could go through the development process of catching all errors such as the "htt//" in your post at left, but the true number of possible user input errors is in the 1,000's of 1,000's range. Better to just teach people what a true URL is. Better to hand people the Hemi than to dazzle them with furry dice. Alternatively, just send them to one of the other billion or so free chat services. Talk is cheap. | |
| 677 | 1/19/2007 9:56:00 AM | Palletman | SlingShot, I knew it didn't work, right after I posted it. I figured that you would spend some un-believable amount of time to fix it. I had an idea that they might want the whole address, but things have been so hectic here at Pallet World, as you can see by my online time, that I defaulted to you to make the correction. Thanks. | | Well, it only took a second to figure out. Not to mention, there ain't no "they." It is my own damned programming. Still…the way you did it should have fucking worked. "www.plasmatics.com" would have worked in just about any browser in the world, having to add "http://" is just plain stupid. The quick fix would be for anybody wishing to post: just go to the site desired (you can put in the logical www, and your browser will add http) then copy/paste what is returned to your browser's URL field. | EXTRA
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| 675 | 1/18/2007 10:50:00 PM | FG | I think Frank Sinatra did a show with his Fedora ablaze once? | | Jesus, I go away for one day (RV Show), and get back to find all you guys talking amongst yourselves. Does a heart good. | |
| 674 | 1/18/2007 9:52:00 PM | Art (The artist formerly known as Prince) | Thanks for the update on Wendy O. Williams, I was unaware of the fact that she had decided to cancel all of her future appearances. It is unfortunate, the Plasmatics at an OCBC meeting would have been memorable. It would have been the perfect excuse to invite the pastor at my local parish to his first OCBC meeting. Oh well, my memory of Wendy O. Williams will remain her concert arrest in which she was charged with… and I am not making this up… "obscene gyrations with a sledge hammer." The judge later dropped the charges based on his formal request for her to do it again in his chambers. One other note of interest, the Plasmatics once opened a show by sending a Cadillac through a brick wall while in flames. It's hard to imagine Frank Sinatra opening a show in the fashion. | | And all that time, I thought you guys were talking about Wendy Carlos Williams. Couldn't believe my luck at finally getting hooked up with such a hip crowd. Guess I should have known better. | EXTRA
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| 673 | 1/18/2007 7:42:00 PM | FG | Art.. So much for getting W.O.W to appear… better get a shovel..
28 May 1949 Wendy Orlean Williams born, Rochester NY.
1978 The Plasmastics formed, New York City.
1979 Stars in a porno film, Candy Goes to Hollywood!. The ping-pong ball scene is sensational, really showing off Wendy's muscular control over her no-no place.
Apr 1981 Acquitted of obscenity (for performing wearing only shaving cream.)
Nov 1981 Beat a photographer, sentenced to one year probation.
1982 Covered Tammy Wynette's Stand By Your Man with Lemmy from Motorehead.
1985 Nominated for a Grammy, Best Female Rock Vocal.
22 Aug 1986 Film, Reform School Girls.
18 Jan 1991 Arrested for onstage obscenity, Milwaukee WI.
6 Apr 1998 Shoots herself in the head outside in the woods of her home, Storrs CT. | | | |
| 672 | 1/18/2007 7:05:00 PM | Palletman | Wendy O. Williams! Whow, that would really get the OCBC rocking. Dr. Art, you dirty dog. | EXTRA
LINK... | Anybody who is trying to place a URL in the User's Link (such as at left) or the Shot's Link (which would show up at right), should be aware that the full URL including "http://" is required. Otherwise, the link will default to a relative address, and not the absolute address. At that point, the server will try to open the link as an element within the ARC web site itself, which of course will result in a "page cannot be found" error. This hint thanks to a tip from Palletman. Well, not so much a tip. He tried it himself, and SlingShot figured out why the fuck it didn't work. In case you may have missed it, this is the sort of thing that has caused SlingShot to hate the Internet and computers for about 25 years now. These crap shoot technologies can't be trusted to work in any reasonable fashion, and not everybody has their own personal SlingShot (an unmitigated genius) to trouble shoot stupid dip shit problems like this. In any case, the manner in which Palletman tried to place the URL was correct and should have fucking worked. Fixing this entry form so it works right, would require SlingShot having to resort to a week or so of IF, THEN, ELSE coding hell, and he has other things to do. Besides, next year or after, a new version of all this software will fix it anyway, but in a manner which leaves some other gotcha waiting in the wings while breaking whatever fix SlingShot comes up with now. Fuck it all. Each and every one of you should get off your computers and onto your bikes anyway. BTW: Be careful about adding such links as the one at left to this site. It is one of those motherfucking sites that will only bring you right back to it, if you hit your back button on your browser, without double clicking it. That is a standard method of increasing the "number of hits" on a site. Everytime you try to get back to whatever sent you there, it just registers as "another hit" for a bullshit web statistic generator. The bullshit will be couched in such language as "unique visits" or such. Somebody will make money off that particular lie, just not you. | EXTRA
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| 671 | 1/17/2007 4:44:00 PM | Artie Artie Art Artie | Tell me that this doesn't send you screaming into the night….. I've just found out that I'm the guest speaker at the winter OCBC party/ Amway meeting/ fundraiser/ intervention/ delousing. Don't these people have any recollection at all of the last time they asked me to do this? It was an absolute yawning festival. Hell, George Meyer, the most mild mannered guy on the surface of the earth, came up to me afterwards to say, "Geez Art… that absolutely sucked." Bob and Mary had the right idea… get the hell out of town as soon as they got a whiff of the fact that I was the emcee. Geez, what the hell am I going to talk about? "How to ignore your wife..", that would be a good one. Here's a goody, " Ten reasons to sell all your bike shit and ride the damned bus from now on… " I was also considering a power point demonstration on clubbing seals. Having exhausted all practical ideas… namely those I've already mentioned, including "How to bowl with a cinder block instead of a bowling ball just to see how long it takes before they kick your ass out of the bowling alley.." I've decided to do a talk on collecting stamps. That should have 'em lining up around the block. Irrespective of the topic, asking me to speak is just another glaring example of the hopeless condition of the OCBC. Digging one's shovel so deep into the bottom of the barrel that you're seeing the Beijing skyline… this is an accurate depiction of the state of affairs at the OCBC. I weep for the future of this organization. Are you listening Big Bianchi? For gods sake man! Pick up the phone… call Nipsey Russell… Keith Richards… Tom Waits… Wendy O. Williams…. These are marquis names. AND, they're probably all willing to talk at the winter meeting… just make sure to keep that open bar close at hand. I'll do the talk, but I cannot be held responsible for the damage to the restaurant… not this time. | | Well, my dearest Dr. Artie Art, Aritisimus Dorsi, I believe I can help you out here. First off, it is in fact a great honor OCBC has bestowed upon you. Especially in light of the outcome of their last event. So I am sure you are taking this seriously and preparing accordingly. However, just in case you have forgotten, let me remind you. Choosing a topic and trying to stick to it is of course highly important, but do not let your efforts to that end divert you from an even more essential task. While you are preparing your notes, take extra pains to practice holding your breath. At this moment I know you feel the need for this to be way outside the realm of remote consideration, but while you are ensconced on your well deserved throne of public attention, you are certain to make use of whatever breath holding skill you may have acqired. For, likely amidst your most profound dissertation, one of your adoring OCBC fans is going to finally make good on a wild-ass jimmy-armed throw and hit the little red circle. You will be in the water, sir, no doubt. | |
| 670 | 1/17/2007 3:24:00 AM | Spin Guy | OK, it's 3 days since I joined and posted. Yes, I posted my own SlingShot response. I figured it would give you training time? I also thought if I just looked at those horrific photos of you as I posted, I could channel SlingShot responses. Well it worked. And they tell me I was in a coma for the past 3 days. Damn it was scary being SlingShot, so I won't ever do that again! There is only 1 Sling, so please don't retire… and no more napping photo's!!! | | Ok. But if more people (other than just you and Lynn) would post their own SlingShot, the writing would be considerably improved here. You know, there's now a way to post extra links which can illustrate things in way's mere words cannot. I'll make sure no more photos like the disgusting one that you mention get posted. Basically, I'm tellin' the Black Widow to keep it in her pants…her camera that is. | EXTRA
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| 669 | 1/15/2007 1:46:00 PM | Palletman | SlingShot, you've moved to what I can only describe as a cult leader within the ranks of the OCBC. Please no Kool-Aid for me. | | Fuck me! I fell on the couch after today's ride, as The Widow was reporting Monsieur Clippe and Pallet had posted. She made mention of something about a statement of "cult leader" from the Grand Poohbah of Pallet World, so I spent the rest of the afternoon napping and preparing my Kool-Aid joke. Then I take a look at the postings, and see how everybody's getting' all smarty pants and shit. Guess I'll just drink it myself…burp! | |
| 668 | 1/15/2007 1:29:00 PM | Toe Clip Guy | Slingshot, I think you have to excuse the Spin Guy..First he leads an indoor spin session flooded with OCBC members, then he marches them over in lock step to the winery and apparantly floods himself delirious with wine & spirits….. The spirits no doubt overtook him as he crossed the bounderies by responding to his own chatter…. On the next group ride he leads, I'll try to provide the voice of reason in a probably futile attempt to keep him out of the local bar afterwards.… | | I do not so much mind that he answered his own chatter ('bout time somebody else took a pull around here), but it is aggravating how he did it so much better than me. In any case, try to keep him out the bars. If he can stay in shape, maybe we can get him to pull for a whole spring Century like the legendary Zirra did last year. Man that was some performance. Only the greatest of the best can aspire to the honor of being remembered for pulling a whole Century. You really have to be something special to do that. BTW: Have you ever done a Century, Clipster? | |
| 667 | 1/14/2007 7:49:00 PM | Spin Guy | OK, OK. You got me. I couldn't remain silent any longer. I'm totally impressed with your IP savvy. I would bow to you Slingshot, but I know in your current state of peaking, you would merely use me as a ramp to hurl yourself over some stupid fucking recumbent rider. Your plan of having me lead rides thru the winter is brillant! At this rate there will be no rides till spring. As a cover to your plan, I offered an indoor spin. Only 2 of your enemies showed: Dudley Do-Right, and Mama Bianchi's little boy. Hurry home. Toe Clip misses you. | | Yeah those fucking recumbents!!! They should just stay on the recliner and watch Bob Roll & TDF DVD's. Hey, gotta go and curse some electric wheelchair seniors. Watch Toe Clip for me, and Lead another ride. | |
| 665 | 1/12/2007 11:05:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Sling, I listened to your phone call to Lance and Cleetus overheard it. His comment: "He really has nothing to do down there in Florida, does he?" *** For everyone's convenience, American Road Cycling has posted a link to the audio snippet Lynn mentions. It is over here ---> | EXTRA
LINK... | Not time wasted. I'll do just about anything to divert NY riders' attention away from training while we are down here trying to get a jump on them. Make Cleetus listen to his special audio message once more. While he's doing so remind him that I type between 100 and 110 words per minute, with bursts above 120. Therefore, this stuff comes out somewhat faster than I think about it, and I can't stop thinking about it. If I don't write it down, it is just shit in my head, but if I do write it down, it becomes shit in your head, and I can forget about it. BTW: The Hump is cancelled until further notice, along with all spin classes you may have heard about. In addition, there has been a recall on Computrainers due to a little exploding at turn-on problem, so make sure everybody knows not to turn theirs on. Also, the convergence of certain orbits within the near solar system has caused an imbalance in earth bound chemical processes (pronounced: process-ease) making it such that enthusiastic aerobic training of every sort is actually counterproductive… one's performance gets worse, not better. These orbital anomalies are probably what is causing the Computrainer explosions as well, because all rollers, stationary bikes, treadmills, and such, have begun spewing parts dangerously around the room at inexplicable times. So please advise all, that in light of these conditions, everybody should just take the Winter off, and American Road Cycling will publish a note when it is ok to recommence training. Have a donut…and allow Cleetus to listen to his own special audio message again. ---> | EXTRA
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| 663 | 1/10/2007 1:27:00 AM | Toe Clip Guy | I don't know guys…but from the looks of the picture on today's home page log, I'd say that both the Black Widow and Slingshot seem to be having toooo much fun down in training camp…. Or is this some kind of deceptive ploy? (As in-- let their competition think everything is fun and games down in the sunshine state…. ) | | Actually, we have hardly been riding at all. Just sittin' back, enjoyin' the weather. Really…nothin' to worry 'bout from us. Everybody else should probably take it easy themselves. No need overworking. We'll be pretty easy to beat. BTW: Thanks for confirming my theory about the double IP#'s. The switch from one to the other still tracks perfectly. And this post confirms your alternate IP#. Unless of course, this post is really coming from Lugie Angel, and she is trying to put us off our game. Er…I mean, we have no game. We are just slow little Pokers. Nothing to worry about at all. Otherwise, I am a GENIUS! ---> | EXTRA
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| 662 | 1/9/2007 11:46:00 PM | Twin Lynn | Yup, perfect attendence.
| | Seems to be a trend developing around here. | |
| 660 | 1/9/2007 1:17:00 AM | SlingShot | What is THIS all about? | | Just reminding Twin Lynn to check her attendance punch card. ---> | EXTRA
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| 659 | 1/7/2007 10:32:00 AM | The Black Widow | Slingshot, you dufus, today is Sunday January 7, 2007. | | I have looked into the matter, and you are correct. It is in fact January 7, 2007. And I am a dufus, but that required no research. | |
| 658 | 1/6/2007 12:08:00 PM | Cleetus | Slingshot, very funny, I laughed my a**, uh, I mean, my butt off. Just so you know, I have a new nom. I'm too big to be Little Lance. Now I'm Cleetus. | | Nice try Lynn. We know you are not Travis, because his typing is better, and he wouldn't have totally missed his "s" key to hit the star key…twice! Also, we are fully aware that you still have Travis tied up in the basement factoring trinomials and such shit as that. Good to hear you've renamed him Cleetus, though. It will help our testimony flow better at the child abuse trial. In case others missed the audio message for Travis, the one that prompted you to pretend being Travis, I have placed a link to it over here ---> | EXTRA
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| 657 | 1/1/2007 8:38:00 PM | SlamCrank | Poor Levine and SlingShot are GENIUSES! They can FIGURE SHIT OUT! | | And I am supposed to respond to that? | |