First thing, The Widder took me up to the Suncoast Trail where she worked too hard on the way out, of course, which meant I had to work not too hard but WAY too hard.

It was only a little ways after I responded to one of her many complaints with, "We can turn around now if you want," and to which she had replied, "We have to do at least a Hump," then, "Tell me when we are over 17.5 miles," and after she was told we were at 17.8 and she had blurted out, "I know. That last one tenth of a mile was the hardest in my life," when I reminded her, "If you think that was hard, let's see what you have to say after our 17.5 miles back… into the wind. You can keep pulling."

When we got home she said it was the hardest ride of her life, and I said, "Yeah, I feel like shit," to which she commented, "You should. You didn't drink a thing and it was 88 degrees. Good thing some clouds rolled in for the last couple miles, or you would have burst into flame."

So that was bad enough. Then we come inside and find this from Bianchi. >>>

You can run but you can't hide!!!!!

Rick

Dear Valued Customer,

On Friday, December 14, *** Hosting experienced a service interruption that affected a large number of our clients. In what was an unforeseen and extreme circumstance, a voltage differentiation caused three aggregate switches to restart with their default settings. This event resulted in a loss of connectivity between these switches and the core routers. Our technical staff took immediate action to mitigate the problem, but due to its highly unlikely nature, this diagnosis did not come about in a timely fashion. Once our technical team discovered the cause of this failure, we remedied the situation within the hour.

In addition to the technical issues that we encountered, our customer service representatives fielded a high volume of telephone calls and e-mails from clients. We did our best to answer each one, but the considerable volume received caused many of your inquiries to be left unaddressed. We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you may have experienced. Subsequent to this highly unlikely incident on Friday, we will be implementing additional precautionary measures to safeguard our infrastructure to further maximize our service reliability.

Additionally, *** Hosting will begin offering a new service which would allow clients to connect directly into our core infrastructure and/or will also provide port redundancy. Please call ***** for more information.

At *** Hosting, we have always been proud of our reputation for reliable, uninterrupted service and our commitment to provide superior customer support. It is what sets us apart from other data centers and helps maintain our leading position in the industry.

We regret any service disruption you may have encountered and the inconvenience that it may have caused your business. If you have any further questions relating to this matter, please feel free to send us an email or call anytime.

We appreciate your consideration in this matter and thank you for your continued business.

Sincerely,

**** Management and Technical Support Team

The ISP should probably pay a little closer attention to what their advertising agency is doing, because they missed the fact my outage was more than 12 hours, not the "within the hour" they allowed to remain in implication.

I wonder about the reaction of those who may have really had something to lose with their websites being down. In our case the only thing that happened was an Endico collector came into the studio complaining they couldn't get on the website the night before, then earlier that morning, but they came over anyway, hoping we hadn't already left for Floriduh.

While the collector was here they purchased one of Mary's paintings for $1,600.00.

I guess it all pretty much proves how our website is more or less worthless to us. It also implies that nobody else's website is very important to them… given nobody seemed to notice the problem until it was already in full swing for a dozen hours or so.

So should I complain?

No fucking way, dude! Sounds like a complaint would only cost me money.

Maybe I should just write them and apologize for telling people I have never received a response to an e-mailed technical support query. I could add that there's never been very many problems in the last three years of service anyway. I could also commend them on their ad agency's grammatically correct text in the promotion.

P'man

P.S. You can let Slingshot know that the model is very likely Download Kim.

Mary Beth

Mary Beth

So what am I going to have to do, shut down the Internet to get some security around here?

Ok, maybe 40th mile, but you're still all dead meat.

Allright, you got me, 4th mile, and I'm dead meat.

Happy holidays and look forward to seeing you soon.

ddoT

You're not likely to see us till spring. We are out of here by about this time next week.

BTW: How'd you get past security? No don't tell us. It's probably better if we don't know.

I did make a phone call to tech support. Nobody at home. I guess 24/7/365 means something different on Long Island. I did a few pings and tracerts to make sure it was them, not me. Then I e-mailed a query, but I have never (ever) gotten a response to my e-mail from the people I pay to keep things going. They are probably spam addled and do not even bother looking at their e-mail anymore.

My theory is that my ISP, where my colocated Server lives, bought a bunch of new stuff before the end of the year in order to get their yearly tax write-off quota all sorted out. Then they had a doozy of a time trying to get it all working.

It does point out why I have never accepted a penny for any of the websites I've done. Just think, if the two dozen or so sites on that machine each had business interests that got screwed by the outage, what would my liability have been?

Not that I'm going to raise a stink with them, though. My only concern is cheap, cheap, cheap: to match what a web presence is really worth to us. In theory, I could get the thing plugged in somewhere in North Carolina for about half the price, but I'm a lazy mother-fucker. Plus, there's no way of knowing if things wouldn't just get worse besides… and they really haven't been that bad, all things considered.

I guess I can live with this happening once or twice a year. I only wish it wasn't always just before we leave for Floriduh.

Also, everytime access to my Server gets fucked, I like to think maybe it has been grabbed up by the CIA , shipped down to Gitmo, then some jerky interrogator has it opened up on a water board, saying something like, "You are going to to tell us, Mr. Server, and right now. Where are they hiding the real stuff on you? Do you think I'm an idiot? Do you think I really believe all this stupid shit is the only stuff on here? Fess up!"

Couldn't blame the guy. Can't believe all the stupid shit on it myself.

I probably should have thought about it before I did it, but the thing that finally set me off was when she came in from shoveling and said, "Well… I may be an old woman, but at least I proved I can still handle a wet six inches!"

I haven't been on ARC for a bit and assume the chatter is still being shunted!

Hope all is well. How's your studies?

I got one for you: I reignited my interest in earning the CSCS designation (that would be a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist), sort of an official strength coach designation.

I have access to a lot of studies on athletic fitness, etc, but the certification process includes an exam that's a real bitch! I was studying for this (?) sideline thing a couple of years ago, and now I've been re-motivated. (?)

Looking to get this designation before they change the credentialing requirements and make it harder to get.

Hope to see you on the road before your escape south with wifey...give her my regards,

Rick

I would add, "Better get the cred's before we change the industry with our new stationary-trainer design."

The ARC staff adds, "Yes, the ChatterBox is still closed, and you are unlikely to see SlingShot on the road in the next two weeks. Then he's gone. In any case, he's made major break throughs with French (could teach it now) and is currently making improvements to the word listings on Wiktionnaire."

"…and no, just being nice to him will not get him to tell you the new training secrets. Keep studying so you'll understand it when he does."

I actually thought I escaped cuz days had gone by without my brother calling me to tell me something like, "Gee, what a surprise. A photo of my sister looking pissed off. I've never seen her like that before. I hardly recognized her."

But NOOOOOOO. The whole freakin' universe got the card too.

Thanks.

I hope Floriduh sets record lows this year.

FU
The Hula Bitch

Double click Backspace to return to ChatterBox after watching this. >>>

The Widder wins!

The Widder had hoped Lynn would go all whining and shit, but Lynn is made of sterner stuff than that. She has remained mute on the subject despite the special voodoo doll and stick-pins insert that was included in her brother's card with the caution, "Please, do not use stick-pins near crotch area. It has become too important to too many people!"

My life has been a 24/7 living hell listening to The Widder getting disappointed after checking her e-mail 40 or 50 times each hour and saying, "Mabye she didn't get it yet."

In the meantime, lots of people have heard about the card and are themselves whining to see it. Turns out we didn't print enough, so here it is. >>>

She wants to thank Humberto, George, and Dangerous for the inspiration. She also had a list including people from Sullivan County, Brooklyn, and Skylands, but the music played her off. Which reminds us… major thanks goes to The Dave Matthews Band.

The Widder read to me this morning that somebody said Imus will be contrite, and that most people have forgiven him. I replied that the people who hated him before still hate him, that the people who knew he didn't do anything wrong in the first place still know he didn't do anything wrong.

Plus, the unfortunate women athlete scholars who had their special day in the limelight fucked-up by all the media frenzy (and who showed their true excellence [mostly] by saying, "Let's hear what he has to say," then, "Oh, he's just an old fart who made a bad joke. Lets get back on the court and finish our finals."), well, they are all graduated now and out in the real world—finding it's nothing like they were told.

In any case, Imus's first word back on the job should be a reinforcement of free speech and a direct attack on the Al Sharpton's of the world. It should be the "n" word. It should go something like this:

"I won my lawsuit and am back, and those shit for brains, cocksucking, asshole, motherfucking n…, shit, n…, ne…, kripes."

"I ripped their wallets out of their pockets and have returned. Those dick licking, scrotum sucking, testicle munching, motherfucking na…, nu…, ne n…"

Well, you know, the "n" word. I'm pretty sure it won't happen.

During a brief discussion about the Coen brothers' process, I found myself enthused to the point of wanting to get ARC going again. Not that I've got time, but I noticed how much like the people hanging out around ARC, are the Coens and the people who hang out around them.

That's when I had the ephiphany as to why I was so excited about this movie, their process of filming it, and all the people (don't forget Tommy Lee Jones, Woody Harrelson, etc) who were involved making it. The interview was giving me a precise perspective on how to define the Hump… simply.

The Hump is a Coen Brothers' Movie.

Editor's Note: And so are all the rides leading up to it.

Conversation eventually turned to how it was a given that SlingShot was totally fucked up, made obvious by the fact he had married the Widder, but they just couldn't understand why the Widder married SlingShot!

How does that fit into your little Linguistics study?

And they never even missed a bite.

I've finished my review and extended my understanding of the phonetics (got the sounds down cold) and have begun my review of negation in the build-up to dealing with the next assignments which deal with syntactic alterations required to change sentences from direct discourse into indirect discourse and vice versa.

Also coming up, there's a little matter with regard to pluperfect and conditional phrases along with the use of the subjunctive, but that's almost an aside.

In any case, I am currently going through the sections about negation in Le Bon Usage [Grevisse, 1994]—which is a full-out French grammar of 1,762 pages… and all of it is in full-out technical French.

What I gather is: the problem with negation (that had me stumped) is that French construction is a lot closer to English than I had thought. The paths that must be followed to derive the various forms of negative meaning are clearly accessible and not without logic. What surprised me more is how the attempt by the French to control their language, hoping for it to make sense after it is written (for more than a few hours on prime time TV, and only by those who watch it diligently), has possibly led to an opposite and irretrievable result.

French is in theory more controlled than English. There is even an Academy that oversees its development and changes. Therefore, its development is not left to the fashion Mags and Chatter Boxes. However, the process so closely relies on supporting the correctness of construction by making reference to particular usages in the French literature that the resulting rules end up being little more than he said, she said… which I guess is a somewhat ironic phrasing.

In summary, it appears that in the attempt to avoid being didactic, the French pendulum has swung so far over to the descriptive grammar side, that even the bare essentials of a useful prescriptive grammar are lost.

Of course, it is not really all that bad (not at all like my own French); but still, it does mean that I may eventually be able to write that shit… and call it merde.

Otherwise, I guess I should say, "Where the funck is Strunk?"

Editor's Note: If you happen to be a Francophone and are using the American Road Cycling website as an example of correct grammar... don't.

Could you please wrap up your project as we need our rude Chatter Box back!

The other reason I'm writing is that one of my fellow Kissena guys took on a job in Denver as art director for the ad firm that handles Shimano—among other big name bike part mfg's.

He'll be in town on Monday to do a photo shoot and is looking for muscular leg types, both male or female. Would you have anybody in mind that would be able to go down in the city to make a li'l money? Commissions would be split as I'm looking to get Dura-Ace components as payout!

Ridiculous? Yes, but still serious.

I need pics to forward. No bs Chatterbox or ARC home page laughter stuff… real deal here.

Hope all is well,

Rick
Padgettnyc@aol.com

This little 2nd Year Language Course has grown into a PhD project in Linguistics, which will likely end up as a book titled, "F1: What word is exactly the same in every language?"

It is unlikely that the project will ever "end" in any true sense.

The world's greatest cycling legs are currently restricted to calves, and they are found on Douchebag Kevin Haley, or his mother.

However, a prime candidate for representating overall raw power would be Humberto Calvaheiro, but he is currently descending deep into Turtle Boy Winter Snooze Mode, and the cost of having him shave his legs at this point would certainly break Shimano's budget.

Just the charges for horse clipper replacements alone (to take care of the first pass at roughing out the hair removal) generally matches the gross annual product of most smaller countries.

But in case somebody is interested, I'm putting your e-mail address here: Padgettnyc@aol.com

By the way, nice desperate touch: trying to finally pay people to go down to the City. I hear that even writers have stopped going down.

I'm thinking they all stopped writing, because they couldn't take the pressure of having to write about Stephen Colbert running for President (as a joke) and getting more support than many "serious" candidates.

That fucker Colbert might have even won, if not for the writer's strike causing a blackout on his "campaign." Maybe it was a government plot.

Apparently, Pakistan saw it going on and decided to just lock up all the writers and shut down the TV's. Of couse, you won't be hearing much about it, because the writers here have all taken a hike, leaving the only thng worth watching on TV being the stumbling all over themselves of news casters trying to read stuff that is ever more poorly written.

This time, the War Cartel might be successful in censoring opposition. It is unlikely anybody will ever bother with the mainstream media again, with so much opportunity on the Internet. Now all they have to do is put a little filtering device on the 12 global routers that handle addressing for the Internet.

Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. If any of you people have got legs, and know how to use them, write Toe Clip at:

Padgettnyc@aol.com

Editor's Note: Sorry nobody got to read this, because by the time it was posted our fine President had already Musharraf'd the U.S. and shut down the Interent. All he had to do was yell, "ooga booga, ooga booga, whoooo… terrists!" and everybody shit their pants and let him do it.

This is a good opportunity for us to do so, because currently (finally) there are no rank newbies (who are posting) who have just shown up only to get their posts caught in the restructering. Also, it is fucking cold out, so it is time to start chopping firewood.

Now, nobody get all the fuck freaked out. Input forms will be gone by the time you read this, but that is only normal.

SlingShot promises to continue to refrain from checking website usage logs in order to avoid his knee jerk empathetic response to user browsing patterns.

You would've been right if Slingshot showed up for the mid-day "Alternate Hump". But it wasn't Slingshot. It was SlingPoser. I realized that in the last 30 minutes when I went off on my own thru a very fast section of 211 and discovered at the end of that segment that the rider with the Serrota and the skeleton jersey was right there with me—beat for beat. That's when I realized it was somebody else altogether. Real creapy if you ask me.

One more month of Saturday morning soccer with my sons, and I should be back on the Hump. See you then, and don't you dare ask for the Binky!

Nice riding with the Gapper today. Smooth as silk as usual. I also heard a nasty rumor that Download will be joining the Hump next week.

All rumors concerning Download are nasty… and we love them.

I'm starting to think Mrs. McNeilly is right.

If you people had not life, would I bother to edit your nothingness?

4 of us chased Gapper and ddoT after a gap ensued at the top of Ridgebury. We proceeded to chase them down for the entire rest of the Hump—until the finish—and never caught them.

We had them within grasp at the Camel Farm until Gapper looked back, winked, and told his little protégé to kick it up a notch. That they did. It was still a beautiful day (estrogen talking…sounding like Georgy Girl).

BTW: I believe the saying is, "Life is good."

BTW: You can't just come in here on the weekend and stop skimming like this.

BTW: That should be "too much."

People who use this website regularly have that sort of maladroit syntax removed from their repertoire of fuckups—eventually.

Then assume that by challenging each other verbally each of us achieved levels of insight that were otherwise beyond our reach.

To turn the page back to cycling, the main concept is this. Each person is saying this, "If you were in such great shape, you'd be able to beat me, which you can't."

Fuck. She probably still doesn't get it. The dialectic is likely too subtle.

Maybe pointing out that everybody gets to have their writing reviewed, edited, and improved by one of the finest writers of our time might help.

Besides my honey do list was completed by 9:30am, leaving the remainder of the day for me.

A solo ride with two serious climbs at Goose Pond was very nice. No other animal was seen, or heard. The view from the top of the ridge over looking the park is one of the best places I have ever been too. The Never Ending Hill, the Up and Over, followed by the Add-On-Trail made up the 3 hour ride.

I did get all of Kissena's secret plans for next year. Unfortunately, I was so delirious most of the ride all I can remember is there was a lot of something about Palletman's ass being kicked.

PCP, my knee procedure went well, thanks for asking. Of course, there was more damage that had to be repaired than expected, hence the 3 week layoff. He said it looked like a yard sale in there. It didn't feel that bad yesterday, but today it feels like someone clubbed me in the knee with a tire iron. My wife keeps calling me Nancy K., and I have no idea whyyyyyyy!!!

I'll start out at home (or not), pass thru the Middletown Psych Center (Slingshot's old long time residence I think) at about 12:30pm, maybe do a couple of circuits there while I wait and see if anyone shows up, then proceed to do the Bicycle Doctor's route thru Mount Hope, Otisville.

We can shorten the ride as needed (a good detour would be a left turn onto 211 at Otrisville instead of the right turn leading thru the town and that hill). Willing to play it by ear.

Mileage about 30 or less.

Be there or be square! (Have a good safe ride otherwise)

Your knee tales brings back not so fond memories as my knee was severely damaged while trying to prove my manhood to myself in 1972. By 1973 the right knee was replaced and part of the physical therapy was bike riding. The rest is self evident. Good luck with your knee rehabilitation.

Sling is correct at 40 degrees F ambient temperature I will wait to ~ 10 am and then ride at the "Goose" on the trail that gave the OTH gang their name. Any interested parties can plan on a ~ 3 hour tour of lovely Sugar Loaf Mountain. My truck will be parked at the Laroe road entrance. You will be hard pressed to miss a Chevy step side with a full flame job. Be there or be square.

After that go do the ride and hope somebody else shows up.

You know, tomorrow morning is going to be fucking cold, so there might be bail outs of people who believe (as of this evening) they will actually do the Hump.

Of course, there's always the little matter that nobody ever reads this page.

FG, just what were those results?

Georgy, I feel winter riding is excellent as well, but only use my homemade studded tires which I made quite a few years ago out of a set of WTB Velociraptors, and a shitload of #2 panhead screws. Have you ever ridden on a frozen lake? It is a "must try," if you haven't. For snow, I usually just run about 15 psi, on the tracks left by the snowmobiles at Stewart. I like to go out with the Dark Horse gang.

My riding will be severly limited for a few weeks, as I had my knee scoped today, so no Hump or MTB for me for 2-3 weeks.

One should expect the same jump in performance with a great fitting (as apposed to what you will get from The Bicycle Doctor, Joe-Fix-It's, or Dark Horse, etc) similar to the jump in performance provided by purchasing high-end wheels over your typical local bike store race wheels… that is to say, unless you have a really fucked up body, you're going to be hard pressed to notice a difference. Can't hurt though.

With too cold or very slippery conditions my training regimen changes to riding rollers, on my road bike, while watching Truck, and Tractor pull DVDs

Zipp your mouth…

Who's with me?

BTW: Is this your way of starting up a bunch of whining trying to get people to go race with you in China?

Apparently what actually happened was Kevin DB Pooper hooked up with that group of poseurs after which he exclaimed in the parking lot, "I just had my record slowest Hump of 21.5."

The person reporting only heard, "Record Hump 20 5."

SlingShot, things have been going along rather swimmingly without your input; so, despite your recent major success of pretending to be Georgy Girl, please keep your fat fucking mouth shut!

One thing I can say about wheels - Bianchi did some work on mine a few weeks ago and said the bearings were way too tight on the Shimano's and impeding them from spinning freely. Hence why Cranky was Cranky in September.

On another topic, I also just purchased Mavic wheels to keep up with the boys. Although, call me stupid, but isn't the way to keep up with the boys in the woods to keep the testosterone and back off the estrogen? And yes, Georgy, that is exactly how I do the tub. On most given Saturday afternoons you will find me in the whirlpool tub stretching out the post hump kinks.

Life is good.

Thank you so much for all the hard work you did at last Saturday's Hump. You almost caught that record breaking front group.

I am sorry for not doing much work, but I had my teammates in that record breaking front group, so my job was just blocking.

If I really thought that a set of Zipp's would make me 3 mph faster than I am capable of riding, don't you think I would have a set on my ride?

Again, stop pissing me off. Have a nice ride this afternoon.

Next time you buy wheels, demand all manufacturers provide you with wind tunnel and drag coefficient tests. Of course they'll just say, "Well, the real world won't be anything like we could test for. Also, in Europe we are not allowed to say anything bad about our competition, therefore, we never publish those specs."

In any case, thanks for helping me sort through something that was reported to me by a disinterested third party, who will from now on be flagged as a gullible nincompoop who is willing to listen to anything that is said in a parking lot if it comes from somebody wearing a hard hat and carrying a clip board, so to speak.

My own orientation to the speed of the Hump comes from several years ago when I started hearing large numbers and decided to check. The front rider then (a 16 year old with significant talent) was bright enough to want to know for himself. I hooked him up with a stopwatch and explained to forget his bike computer and just give me the "actual time, line to line," then I went out in the car and the truck (three times each) and recorded the distance of the Hump.

My spreadsheet calculations based on his reported times put his rides at consistently just over 24 mph avg. They tell me things have improved since then, but I wonder. Thanks again for the help. Glad to see you can discern the difference between a fashion statement and a team.

I just posted an apology for you below.

Sorry, Todd, it looks like you were right. We heard there was a record set, but that was just somebody relaying parking lot chatter. Dave Freifelder wasn't even there to make it interesting, and Kevin had a nice day off pretending to work with a team. Well, I guess Kevin deserves a break.

Where was Dave Freifelder?

Could you even see Kevin at the end?

And while we've got you here maybe you can answer the other burning questions: what Time Trial Time was required over what distance to become a member, and what sort of commitment to what kind of training schedule is expected, plus how many team workouts focusing on tactical skills and group effort are required to remain in the kit, so to speak. Also how many and what races are you guys mandated to show up for, and what are the team goals for the year and over the long term. Who is the coaching staff, and what other successful teams have they handled? Who is the designated hitter?

Why does Toe Clip Guy keep kicking your ass?

Why do you all wear so much makeup?

OK, so when will you bury that file?

Had she been from F.I.T., the color scheme for the race kit would have been at least a year behind the trend.

Now for actual racing: I saw one of those guys yesterday in Brooklyn attempt a break with a couple of guys from other teams, and we quickly reeled in him and his unattached cohorts quickly.

So without a team to assist, these Designer-Klad' racers are, sorry for saying—run of the mill.

As for the F.I.T. error, it is partly because I wanted to hand some creds to one of my old Alma Maters (not that I degreed or anything), and partly because I would place a degree from Pace (or OCCC for that matter) beside any Ivy League degree on the planet. I know lots of people from those esteemed high-end institutions, and I can assure you that mileage definitely varies.

I am sorry to point out that you seem to be laboring under the mistaken belief that the founder of the black is somebody else, and not in fact Paris Hilton who has never attended anything resembling a school of any sort.

Just because somebody whores their name out and allows it slobbered onto any sweaty piece of Lycra that happens by, it doesn't mean they have founded a fucking thing.

And just because one can always find a group of people who feel so little pride in their own name that they will easily take on another's name in order to gain a small feeling of worth, well that is what it is.

Otherwise, what you say is totally true. However, for the Todd'lers among us, your statements may require some certification. So allow me the honor.

Mr. ddoT, I am sure you are aware that the statements made over there on the left are coming from someone whom you would only hope to ever ride with for any length of time, so to impress ever more strongly previous statements regarding how the front group (you've heard of) is actually severely lagging the true front group, I have provided a link to a visual aid.

The video linked at right shows an early season Hump from this very spring. It is also rather early in the Hump itself (about 12 miles in), and the first person into the frame is Kevin Douchebag Haley. Next into the frame is a group containing many of the people whom newbies such as yourself have been persuaded can ride, which is pretty easy to do, because newbies are never within eye shot in order to see the truth.

Last into the frame, and finally dropping his head in frustration, is the very selfsame Toe Clip Guy who has just given you valuable news from the front in this post at left.

More than likely he is off the back because he just lead a two mile charge trying to catch Kevin… which nobody ever did. But to be fair, they probably gave up some time after Kevin quit toying with their affections and vanished from sight on Ridgebury.

By the time this sort of scenario (as shown on the video) reaches the Early Bird Special near the end of the Hump the distances have become miles, not yards. Don't forget: that fellow dropping his head off the back (early in the Hump, well before the serious intent ensues) and more recently (over on the left) relaying a message about what happens to one of those poseurs when confronted by an actual team, well, that is somebody you could only hope to ride with. >>>

You'd best go back and review paragraph 3 of the response to post #1969. This time read for content.

I went to get my truck so still got a normal ride in. The OTH gang has got to get more reliable equipment.

The next time I see you, I shall fully extend my arms upward and bend deeply at the waist in awe. The only person faster than you that I have been close to is Rick Mears.

Kevin, if you would please just keep those calves under wraps.

Hmmm, Wikipedia… Now there's a reliable source of information.

Actually, I do believe Georgy has also been near Humberto, Joe Straub, Dave Freifelder, Heather Lebanc, Iron Mike, Glenn Babikian and others of that ilk, so no need for Douchebag Haley to get his chamois all in a wad.

Just how fast was that Hump nobody is saying a word about? Plus how do you like your new digs after bailing out on an actual team merely because all they wanted to talk about was racing?

Well, at least they got you in shape to run roughshod over a bunch of poseurs.

BTW: I was adding a section below about what it takes to call a group a team at the very moment you were posting this.

There is that so called team from The Fashion Institute of Technology led by Paris Hilton, but their goal is more geared to looking like a team than it is to actually engaging in competitive behavior.

If you ever see one, ask them what Time Trial Time was required over what distance to become a member, and what sort of commitment to what kind of training schedule is expected, plus how many team workouts focusing on tactical skills and group effort are required to remain in the kit, so to speak. You might also inquire as to how many and what races they are mandated to show up for, and what are the team goals for the year and over the long term. Maybe ask who their coaching staff is. You might add an aside as to who handles their promotions in a way to get them kicked off the world's preeminent competitive cycling website.

Of course, you've probably heard by now that Kevin Douchebag Haley just set a Hump record, 25+ or thereabouts.

The alleged Skyline rider claimed to participate weekly on The Hump, know both the Widder and SlingShot. I can add that he was very familiar with PSL members. Sling, I have no other clues since the rider never offered his name. My manicured nails must have scared him off.

As for who the mystery rider could have been, there is Tri-Mike to name just one, but I've never seen him in a known jersey. Actually, I've never seen anybody in a Skyline jersey. Did it look anything like a Skylands jersey?

It certainly wouldn't have been Kevin Haley, because he's surely taking a break after setting a new Hump record average at some number of tenth's over 25 mph.

Editor's Note: In the future, anybody wondering about someone's identity might try the following.

[Ok, maybe you will find this a little extreme, but you could always wear a hard hat and carry a clipboard while using this technique, or maybe a lab coat and a slide rule.]

Here it is:

Stand directly in front of the person, look them in the eye, and recite the arcane incantation, "What's your name?"

DISCLAIMER: This magic spell is powerful medicine and must never be used against persons under the age of 18 years. In fact, ARC standard guidelines suggest never speaking a single word to anyone under the age of 18. The guidelines go on to suggest confirmation through a third party (never rely on mere credential) to assure the person is in fact 18, preferrably over… much over. Nothing more will be said of this.

ADDENDUM: Did anybody notice that Kevin Haley set a new Hump record of 25+ mph or something like that?

I started out twice this morning: once for the EBS, and once for that other ride that leaves an hour later. Both times the wet fog drove me back home.

In any case, the only time I ever try to kick someone's ass is when I get egged on, and my mind reverts back to the old days of "push push must be in the lead."

Now all we can do is point out what a pussified fog avoiding fraidy cat you are. On the other hand, I spent the whole first hour of the Hump brushing the wet from my glasses and thinking how supremely stupid it was to be riding on roads that we were afraid to take our car on.

However, there was some good come of it: BLASTER kicked the Widder's ass. But it would have been nice to have somebody there who could be triggered into kicking BLASTER's ass.

If the Gapper got back and couldn't figure out why both doors were unlocked... that's the story on that.

Cycling only. And have a great time at the Hump tomorrow!

Is Paris Hilton doing the Hump?

Cycling please!

Before Sept. 26, ENDA was the proud product of some hard battles won by a unified coalition of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) activists and advocates. ENDA seeks to protect civil rights so fundamental -- and so fundamentally American -- that it seems absurd we are still haggling over this in late 2007. ENDA simply states that it is illegal to discriminate against or fire someone because of the employee’s sexual orientation or gender identity.

You mean to say that LGBT people would be allowed to keep their jobs and make a living and be themselves and be able to access life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness -- just like everybody else around them? What a radical concept!

I beg you to please take a few moments from your life and show your support for ALL people's rights—not just mine. Please sign the petition in the attached link. The Democratic Congressional leadership that includes Barney Frank and Nancy Pelosi have decided to exclude trangendered humans from their anti—discrimination bill.

My own experience petitions is that I couldn't get my fucking neighbors to sign one about local signage—even after they went out of their way to get me to put my ass on the line for it, and even after I allowed that they could write it themselves, and I would sign theirs.

It's unlikely anybody is going to bother to sign that petition, and here's why.

Apparently the problem stems from all the LGBT people who have consistently shown they are conflicted about their sexuality.

That causes them to be confused regarding things like this, which explains why they are now surprised to find politicians fucking them in the ass again, and again, again.

Oh, by the way. Your tax dollar is still being used to fund an illigitimate war, against people you don't even know. Statistically speaking, a lot of those people getting bombed, shot, and tortured, are also LGB, and/or T.

It is slow around here! It's like riding with Paris Hilton!!!!!

For the record I only speak in faulty formal english, Old Corps Marine, and I sometimes speak in Spick!

OK, NOE HEAR THIS: Wantagh, Long Island, tomorrow, mid-morning.

Can I ask a stupid question one last time for the year?

2) You must have missed the memo. The Hump, Early Bird Special 8:00 am.

3) No you may not. It is too early in the year for one last stupid question. You have time for a dozen or so more—at minimum.

With regards to fuel efficient cars: would you believe I had a Honda Civic with the VTEC engine tweeked for efficiency--It got 55mpg easily for a very long time. By the time I got rid of it, I logged 250G plus miles, and it was still getting over 40mpg. I don't understand all this brouhaha about hybrids that can get 40+

Sling, BMW has lead the pack with Hydrogen Fuel Cars since 1995. We have been running one car non-stop from LA to NY, and its sister from NY to LA. These cars have been replaced, but the point is BMW knows the longevity of the Hydrogen operated engine.

Breast Cancer also benefits with our Drive for the Cure, a dollar is donated To Susan B Koman for every test driven mile in our full line promotion fleet that people sign the bodies and then drive the vehicles.

My Gallery visit was a nice addition to an excellent day. Thanks for making me smile. I was able to complete my ride just as darkness came. Great timing for a perfect day's end, Now how do I string a few of these in a row?

What would one call the equivalent of genocide, but perpetrated against anybody with oil under their feet?

Gasocide?

The best part was seeing her go to bat for TCG with regard to his self inflicted SlingShot wound.

I'm tempted to post another link to the BMW logo on the Sponsor's (NOT) page, not just because GG went all hilarious on us, but mostly because: not only has BMW done the right thing vis-à-vis Georgy, more specifically they are currently running the first serious Hydrogen Fuel Car big-time TV commercials.

Ahead of the fucking curve my friends… ahead of the fucking curve.

If the photo exists online it's very easy to post a link. Just point your browser to wherever the photo is and copy/paste the URL into either the USER'S LINK or SHOT'S LINK in the Chatter Box submittal form.

If the photo does not exist online, you should probably figure out how to use MySpace, YouTube, or Facebook, or something like that, because they are set up to accept photos onto their servers, and they have worked hard at making it easy for absolutely anybody to post photos.

In fact, they've made it easy for people who really shouldn't even be posting pictures to do it—such as kids who haven't a clue about why they shouldn't even be looking at the Internet, let alone adding to it.

I could give you a convoluted series of steps to get a photo added to the Chatter Box, but all that information would be relevant only to this one little page, and the restrictions would be so severe as to make it worthless anyway. Plus it would mean more work for me, and I don't need any more work. I've got plenty on my own.

If it was something really important, you could always send it as an attachment to an e-mail directly to the PSL, and ARC would post it for you. That's how we got the Turtle Pup photo and that other stuff from the Portugreaser.

GG and FG post stuff themselves that they steal off the Internet by using the first suggestion. Go to the sight, grab the URL, and paste it into the LINK field. Afterwards, I always make a redirector page locally just so I can track if anybody ever actually clicks on the links. However, I haven't checked the website usage logs for this site in a week or so, because I'm lazy, so I don't know if anybody is doing anything anymore.

Most people posting here give all the appearances of never having heard of e-mail, so I doubt it would help to mention again how easy it is to swap photos that way.

DISCLAIMER: Slingshot has absolutely NO knowledge of YouTube, MySpace, Facebook or any of those things. He's never been there, and would (himself) never waste his time trying to figure out how to use them, and really has only heard the names enough times to be aware they might be useful. As a general rule SlingShot hates anything that is even remotely "forum-like" and still can't figure out why anybody would waste their time with such nonsense.

We had 2 flats, but other than that, a very smooth seven (7) person paceline groove in the front. There may still be some people in tents over at the wine-o-ree recovering from post ride festivities. A ploy to slow them down for next weekend.

SlingShot, you may want to apply to the Wall Street Journal for an editor's job. In today's WSJ on page A22 in the Political Cartoon at the bottom of the page they were a little lax in their duties. I think some heads might role. Carpe' Diem!

As for the thing with Humberto, I'm not sure I get it. Just why is it that you stole his raincoat?

The Warwick ride was great, but a little too fast for me. At the end the average was 23.9 mph.

Thank you, PCP. Great job!

…no way, dude!!! Please return all the Computrainers!!

We also explained he should start getting his equipment someplace where they know how to do setup. Thanks again for your help on this matter.

It wasn't her fault, you know? Paris made her attack: first mildly at the noise of the chain dropping, but then really for sure when you got off your bike.