And the winner is:

And the other winner is:

Here's the photo, and if you ever make me work that hard at the end of the Hump again, I'm sure we can come up with something similar just for you.

Once again you have misquoted. It was not 290. It was 280.

I had blown myself up, sat down and started grinding.

I thought, "Well, that's it. This is my typical climbing mode. I must be churning about 100 watts. I've got nothing. Let me check the power meter. What? Jesus. Fuck. 290. Shit, Landis averages 280 for six hours, and I average 290 blown-up and plodding. Maybe my fat ass is holding me down. I wonder how many watts Zirra pulls?"

Now we know: 330 when out of shape and being a father. And that's without having a clue about effiency of stroke.

Everything you've ever heard about cycling is wrong.

I was looking at the ARC website today, and I want to add my less than two cents about the Psoas muscle, as I have long standing issues with that fucker myself.

I'm sure you have noticed the limp that I have. I'm often asked by people whom I've just meet, "Are you ok?" after they see me walking.

My problem is not pain but the same problem Mary has on the bike.

I have a nuerological deficit in my right calf and right hammy and have difficulty getting contraction through the complete range of motion.

Therefore, when I pick up my right leg to move it forward when walking, the right foot (toes- I wear all the front tips of my right shoes as they often do drag, or cause me to trip, especially on uneven terrain) will drag.

In order to prevent this I do a right side "hiphike" as Mary does with her left leg.

The hip hike gives me a limp-like gait. Because of this, the right Psoas muscle shortens and tightens—pulling the pelvis out of alignment (tilting it), which for me manifests not as leg pain but causes the lower back muscles to compensate.

That is to say, the right shortens and the left lengthens, because they are attached at their base to the pelvis.

At some point if I twist, or react fast, or get out of bed, or go to get in my car, or some other stupid ass little mother fucking bullshit activity (LIKE BREATH), I will ALL OF A SUDDEN GET MUSCLE SPASMS.

The result is that I am prevented from being able to stand-up for up to 2-3 days and will, over the period of 3-6 weeks, get progressively better.

At one point 10 years ago I reached a point where my back would also hurt during and after every ride. I took one whole summer off.

Here's what I have been doing.

By doing the following, I still have the hiphike but keep the psoas and lower back muscles streched and loose. Although I still have the spasms, I have them less often and less severe by being deligent with my exercises.

Some of you may know or do all of these, and all of you may know or do some of these.

1. You can actually go to a massage therapist, who can physically stretch the Psoas by pressing down on the abdomen just in from the hip bone. It actually hurts like hell, because it feels like they are trying to touch the inside of your pelvis from the front!

2. I think this next one is actually a Yoga position. If you get into a lunge position with the lower portion of the front leg perpendicular to the floor and the lower portion of back horizontal on the floor, place your arms above your head palms together. Now reach hands to the ceiling and push the hips out (forward). This is great for the Psoas.

3. Then there's the twist stretch. On floor legs together in front of you, take your right leg and bend while placing the right foot on floor to left of upper left leg. At the same time take take the left arm and place elbow to the right of your right knee. Twist torso to achieve this. Switch sides.

4. Cat and Camel stretchs.

5. Less repititive stress activity :-( Less time on your road bike. Notice I said road bike. CROSS TRAIN, CROSS TRAIN, CROSS TRAIN. I believe nothing has helped as much as CROSS TRAINING. MOUNTAIN BIKE, MOUNTAIN BIKE, MOUNTAIN BIKE, you do not have to do technical rock stuff.

There are smooth dirt roads, grass fields, mud bogs. It's fun and it works cycling muscles differently (you need to stress [shock] your muscles to get better/stronger) while doing it with different gearing ratios, cadences, and utilizing upper body muscles.

Get into hiking, especially with a pack on. Harriman state park, Schunemunk Mountain, the 'Gunks and 'Catties.

There is plenty of hiking, If you think you will lose fitness by passing up a two hour bike ride to do a 5 hour peak bag in the Catskills with 3000 feet of vertical ascent with 15+ lbs of gear/food/water etc. You won't.

Strength train - you do not need anything special other than some dumbells. There are a bizillion books, mags etc. for routines. Kayak, XC-ski Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah.

One of the biggest benefits of less time on the road bike is less burnout, both physically and mentally.

Since I spend less time on it I can keep my focus on quality riding, it doesn't feel like a job that I hate going to, but something I look forward to, especially since there less of those small, and large, nagging repetitive stress injuries.

I hope some of this helps. I am looking to get down there soon. I have been riding well, both road AND mountain.

Tony

I believe you left out what is obviously an important part of your training regime.

Here, let me help.

6. Lots, and lots, and lots of methamphetamine.

BTW: Sorry to hear you are not very good at road cycling. Maybe you'd get better at it if you did it more.

A new one is ordered but won't be here for another week, and it will officially be my last high-end computer. When it goes down, I'm done with this crap.

Unfortunately, Mary's website was very important to some great painting sales recently, so I have to give one last tug on the carrot of computer use.

Maybe we will resume Radio American Road Cycling, which went down as a result of my big computer crash two years ago in Florida.

The new laptop will also have enough processing power for video. Maybe we'll got to see some Hump finishes.

Possibly this week's computer meltdown is just an aftershock from two years ago.

It's perfect timing, because Mary has finally agreed to take a week off to let her leg get better… sort of, so I don't have to be taking a lot of notes about her 23+ Widder's Hump.

In any case, her leg has been getting better; and, a couple days ago on the Heritage Trail, I had one of my famous flashes of genious.

You may recall, Widder cannot raise her left leg for the last 3 or 4 inches of rotation to get her foot over the top of her left crank.

She compensates by hitching up her left hip and doing an extra pushdown and scrape through movement with her right foot.

We were almost home from Monroe on the trail, and I was talking her through the problem, when I thought, "I have to come up with a specific exercise that isolates her psoas and distracts her from overworking the movement."

Then it hit me, "That movement is exactly like dribbling a soccer ball on your knee. Just the right height, just the right amount of pressure, just the right thing!"

Mary now has a spiffy new birthday soccer ball to go along with her Visible Woman (to help her understand how sacral joints don't have disks), and her old timey erector set (to help her understand levers, pulleys, hubs, and supports).

What a great mess of stuff she got for her birthday, and she LOVES the soccer ball.

No tittering about the erector set.

After much research on speedometers, the only thing to remember is that they are most accurate in the center third of tire wear.

Most manufactures allow them to be ~5% slow to compensate for new tires and improperly inflated tires.

To answer the spinning wheel telegraph (regarding how I am doing), the best response is that I am alive and well and enjoying riding my new Giant Trance X2, 5 inch travel, dual suspension, mountain bike.

Here's a link to a photo on their website:

I bought it here:

For all those interested: the Over the Hill Gang rides Sunday afternoon’s at 1pm, meeting in the Wawayanda Ranger station's upper parking lot.

The ride is roughly 2 to 3 hours depending on participants.

And, yes, some may make a sighting of me riding my road bike through the week.

But the top tube of my mountain bike reads:

Silly Boys
Mt. Bikes R 4 Girls

Just a small conversation starter.

Life's good
Georgy

BTW: What makes you think you can just drop in here and plaster logos and links all over the fucking place like this one?

Don't you know the ChatterBox is closed? How the fuck did you do this anyway?

Here's an idea. Why don't you make yourself useful, and take your spiffy little 'Vette with the limited edition power package out for a spin on the Hump to confirm it's 34.2 miles line to line, since you're so goddamned smart with odometers?

We'll make your chebby the offical 23+ Widder's Hump pace car, in light of the vast sums of money you'll be ramming into the gas tank in order to confirm distance.

One more reminder, the ChatterBox is closed. Don't be pasting logos in here like this one:

Now look what you made me do:

- READ ALL ABOUT IT -

Bicycle Doctor Fucks SlingShot (again)

Big Bianchi Beats the Widder

Ugly, Slow, Stupid Gapper

Goddamn Internet (again)

Bronze Monument to Hector

How can I add comments to the ChatterBox? My submittal form pages all have the text "CHATTER BOX IS CURRENTLY ON HIATUS."

I started road riding again last Monday and still cannot pull on the bars as much as I would like.

Yesterday I rode a couple of hours at Goose Pond without too much discomfort, although last night and this morning I am feeling my outer chest.

Talk to you soon.

Georgy

BTW: I'm not sure if you are allowed to be feeling your outer chest. I thought the whole point was that you didn't want to be feeling such things. Now you got ME confused.

The story goes that you figured the cracks were not surprising, since your fat ass had been perched above that wheel for more than 7,000 miles since you bought it last summer.

So you phoned up the Bicycle Doctor, Rich Cruet, hoping he would have a replacment in stock, and Rich said, "What? When did you buy it? That's a warranty job. Just bring it in. There's a five year warranty. I'll give you one to use until your new one gets here."

When you brought it in Rich looked at the wheel and didn't seem one bit shocked to hear that you went ahead and rode on it in Harriman, not to mention that rough ass road crossing over from Long Meadow to 17M in Sloatsburg, after seeing the fractures, but he only went on to tell a story about how tough and resiliant those wheels are.

Also, he mentioned that the manufacturer is always more than accomodating with regard to warranty issues such as yours… no matter how many miles, within 5 years being the only criteria.

Of course, I'm sure Rich would never suggest anybody rides on wheels with fractures like that, nor would American Road Cycling (certainly), despite the famous story of Toe Clip getting cut off by somebody in that big time BROOKLYN RACE, when he was riding for:

… and getting a rear skewer put through his front spokes, sending them flying off like sparklers and embedding several into nearby telephone poles just like hurricane straws… and not only did he not go down, he went on to win the sprint on only one spoke!

It's almost unbelievable, but I wouldn't report it if it weren't true. Them's are some tough fucking wheels, and the people over at the Bicycle Doctor are the best.

I would be remiss in mentioning that the Bicycle Doctor people are in fact the best… and every bit the equal of all the others mentioned on our Sponsors (Not) page.

Hope you're feeling well. I've been following some of Mary's effort for a 23+ Hump. More regimentation than I am capable of following. It takes real effort to ride easy when you feel well and to go hard when you're supposed to but would rather ride easy or not at all.

My ride plans can change from a long flat road ride to a shorter hilly mountain bike ride while I am putting my cycling shorts on :-)

I am planning on making my way south towards the end of next week through the weekend. I have already set up a night mountain bike ride in New Paltz for Friday (5/16) night.

I was hoping to meet up with the two of you, and anyone else who would like to ride, for a road ride on Thursday May 15. If Paul is doing Thursday rides that would be great, a ride like the ones I've done from his house is what I'd like to do.

Mary, I know you are doing your specific training and If you can't do the ride because of the training I understand, but if you can come please do.

I'd be more than happy to do a route that allows you to breakoff early, and get back easy, if the length is too long.

Bob, it sounds like your back is giving you problems. I hope it feels good soon. Let me know if you can ride.

Tony

We'll get right on this ride plan for you. Maybe we should post something on ARC. Maybe something like (just in case FG has lost it) your e-mail address:

anthonydefeo@yahoo.com

How about some results. How'd that 5 minute time trial go. Did Mary make it to Cat 3 for men?

It's the end of the world. >>>

Mostly I wanted to see how much higher the end of Mary's time trial was than its start.

The numbers show she finished about 90 feet higher.

While I was at it, I couldn't help putting together some preliminary statistics along the remainder of the Hump.

Basically it works like this.

There is an approximately hundred foot rise in order to get to Pulaski. After that, significant climbs occur with 30, 40, 60, and 70 foot rises (in that order) leading up to Ridgebury.

Ridgebury itself swells by about a 220 foot increment. All climbs are complemented by a downhill that invariably returns elevation to approximately the 100 foot offset established in the very beginning of the ride.

Oddly, when I got back to the finish line, the altimeter was showing 30 more feet in elevation than when I left.

Considering the unfailing return to the 100 foot offset which cancels out all the uphills, it is obvious that a summary of the course would have to say, "The Hump is a totally flat ride, with a slight hill at the very end."

Most people believe the Hump starts with a climb and then goes uphill all the way to the end, so some merit must now be accorded to their belief.

When I got back to Sugar Loaf, the altimeter was reporting the elevation outside my front door had increased by 20 feet.

In light of this new information, I have been going through our closets looking for the Widder's stash of marijuana, because it is clear that she has been getting high.

In fact 20 feet higher in just the last couple hours.

Obma's Dangerous Pastor

Of course, within the next hour the whole thing is going to be reduced to maybe three or four of the things he said, so I thought somebody better hack into this website and present a summary overview… which will otherwise be wiped from the slate.

Here's a distillation of what I observed.

Throughout his numerous responses, a very troubling trend was revealed.

To the largest percentage of the qestions (in fact I would say to almost each and every one of the questions) he responded by trying to get people to read!

And not just to read itty bitty bits about a few things, but to read entire whole books about everything.

Of course, SlingShot, you realize the danger of that sort of thing catching on.

Who will there be to read the crap you write?

Therefore, it is no wonder somebody lodged a complaint after he sailed over the finish line (yards in front of the three man breakaway group) after a 300 yard lead out by Sean.

Despite TP making a valiant effort to give the appearance of working at the end, his pretend grimace contained way too much smile to be believable, so people have made a big stink over the necessity of Joe giving full disclosure when he shows up for a ride instead of going to a race… no matter how fucked up he believes his performance is going to be.

Everybody did appreciate Mr. Straub allowing only a two mile interval between his breakaway group and the closest pursuit group, even though there was much whining about how one or a few of his pulls on Pulaski really hurt everybody else involved.

Dangerous Dan Sullivan took the sprint for the second group, much to the chagrin of Tom Folkl who could only spit, "He's always doing that to me."

I would report on the third group back, but they were so far off the pace, everybody forgot they were even on the ride and went home before they got to the finish line.

There was also the little matter about how everybody generally believes Joe (disregarding his smiling jackass face passing over the finish way in front of everybody else's furrowed brows), except when he starts going on and on about how strong Palletman has gotten.

"Tough, tenacious, and without fear," I believe were his exact words, but thoss words are unlikely to be received well by anybody.

Hop on board the Doug train!

There's a link at the end of this entry to a real interesting inverted speed graph chart which reveals terrain of a known local course relative to a smooth 165 watt ITT.

Sweet! >>>

In any case, you'd better post a link to the most recent test results.

----------

Ok, no note from the doctor, but I did an off-road Half Marathon today in Bear Mountain, part of The North Face Endurance Challenge series. I was 11th overall out of 210. No numb feet.

I said to my doctor, "My left foot goes numb when I ride my bike, what should I do?" His reply was "That's easy, don't ride your bike."

Anyway, my calfs have both exploded, and I don't think my kidneys are in the right place anymore, so numb toes are the least of my worries. How was the ride today?

ddoT

----------

SlingShot, we have provided a link to how the Widder's ride went today.

Now, can we open up the ChatterBox again?

And of course, the clearance should come from somebody who could lose their license and livelihood if they gave ddoT bad information, not just from some punk ass cyclist overheard in a gym.

On a great note, Tri Bike Mike (Donelly) won the Washingtonville 5k on Saturday!

He edged out a 16 yr. old by 2 seconds.

An athlete considering (out of hand) the ramblings of their compatriots as superior to input from a professional health practitioner… especially with regard to a chronic problem which might point to a serious degenerative disease!

Does anybody still harbor the slightest doubt that web chat is totally worthless?

Even the Widder herself must now admit the ChatterBox is a total waste of time, and closing it down is the best thing I can do… so I have.

Have to agree with SlingShot here!! Get crunched!

You just love him for giving up the numbers of his Powertap, don't you?

Now lets get to something serious. I have a problem that somebody might be able to help me with. Right around twenty miles into just about every ride I do, my left foot goes numb, primarily from my arch forward. I'm on my third pair of shoes, and I've messed a little with the cleat angles, but still can't get rid of it. If anybody can help, I'd appreciate it.

Yes, I do love him for giving up his Powertap numbers. Like all forms of true excellence, one should always give up the "secrets."

The information might help somebody, and there is no need to worry about somebody stealing the "ideas," because probably nobody is going to be able to repeat the deed anyway. In any case, most people won't believe it, nor understand it even if they do believe it.

As for your third question: that is a total fucking no brainer, easy to address, and I'm almost embarrassed to pretend to be the one who tells you.

Everybody knows just exactly what to do about that:

GO SEE DR. ART. >>>

It's quiet in here, I think the Floriduh folks have gone back into hibernation, or possibly into a torpor state… quick let's all gather our hand and toe warmers and make a mass donation. I would be willing to be the pick up vehicle and drop them at the door.

It could be that Mary is travelling so fast these days (on her bike) that the breeze was even colder and just froze them in place. Has anyone seen them? We might have to start calling Mary "Dash" like the character in the Incredibles who has super speed!

I am planning an upcoming ride. How can I make sure people find out about it, and show up for it?

As an alternative, you might send direct e-mail to your friends, or phone them. That, of course, is only if you want people to show up.

FG, as a woman representative, I give you permission to kick his ass, or her ass, regardless. This is an equal opportunity ass kicking venue.

That is where PCP really shines as representative.

Great to see everyone.

We were taken aback by your lean and hungry look.

Anyways… I miss you guys tooooo! But in case anybody noticed, I've been intentionally ducking away from the group rides as I don't want to cause a mass crash. As I'm still recovering from my recent bout of leg cramps, I don't want to seize up while in a paceline—it would lead to a massive pile up.

Does anybody want to see a massive cluster muck?

Hopefully, I'll see you all on the roads soon.

It's been a lonely boy training/rebuilding routine these days.)

Chester Pete has never been right about anything.

As for the pile up, everybody seems to be doing pretty good piling up without you.

At the top of Ridgebury, Myles jagged to the left without looking, hit somebody who was passing him and bounced back into the line where Dangerous landed on top of him, and Humberto almost guillotined him with his front wheel but only ripped the neck of his jersey.

Therefore, one would assume that you showing up and piling up would barely be noticed.

In fact, the pile up allowed ddoT and Gapper opportunity to catch the front and ride with them to the next hill.

Fortunately, it happened on the crest of the Ridgebury peak, so they were only going 30 mph, or so.

If you were on the ride you might have gotten close enough to see them cleaning up the crash and leaving… maybe even close enough to wave goodbye to ddoT and Gapper.

I explained the clear truth to him: that watts is watts is watts, but he disagreed saying, "No, watts are watts are watts."

The ensuing discussion quickly devolved into people being shoved around, headlocks being exchanged, and things getting broken.

The police always like to be invited to such gatherings.

PCP, I've been here, and there, and everywhere. My ancient Chinese secret training program is wrapping up, and by now I should have enough residual lead in my body from chewing on cheap China imports all winter.

Glad to hear the Georgie Girl Update, and that she still has a job.

Those corporate assholes can be real pricks. I was hoping to try and give him a run for his money on the mountain bike BEFORE he was a she, so now it looks like all bets are off. It just wouldn't be the same.

Now all we need is a Chuckie Update…

By elective surgery, I am sure JO did not mean to imply Georgy Girl was now totally a she, nor would we be able to figure out just what that would mean anyway, so just go on and kick her ass. We'll still credit you with doing something signigicant.

Chuckie will be back around as soon as he is sure to kick my ass, which means any moment now.

Georgie Girl Update

Actually, two and a half months after her layoff, they rehired her for more money, and (unfortunately) with more responsibility.

She is currently not riding due to recovering from an elective surgery. She also has a dazzling new hairdo, frameless glasses, and is being shipped all over the world on a moment's notice in order to help people with automotive technical problems that cannot be solved by anybody else.

Or so it seems: Otherwise, they would not be stuffing so much money into Georgie's bank account, nor would she be looking forward to her retirement (with mucho bucks) twenty-six months from now, nor would she be shopping for new and fancier mountain bikes.

Therefore, all of you who were concerned may now relax.

Something like, "Yeah, Mr. Fancy Bike Man, where were you yesterday? You know ddoT was there sans icicles on his bicycles, and he was shredding ass sickles."

We were waiting for you yesterday to show up for the ddoT spanking of all who failed at Olympic qualifying leg presses this winter.

I'm home now on the couch nursing my wounds (and studying)… which, by the way reminds me: are you doing anything but taxes?

We better get our fancy race bikes out and hit the roads to slow this drop rate down.

Didn't you hear that both Turtle Boy and Dangerous Dan ran over Myles on the Hump this morning?

Things are going great. It usually takes Turtle Boy half the season to start running over people.

Just ride when you can.

The Widder and I had to compare notes to decide if it was ddoT who said hi to us this morning.

Paris coming?

Mary just checked the weather, and it looks like very cold and rainy. It was supposed to be nicer tomorrow than today.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Can't you fix this cold ass weather nonsense?

I'm going for my walk right now, just in case we don't ride tomorrow. This is fucking bullshit!

Let’s save it for the Road!

I am afraid to post this, but I need to get more confident and courageous so…

WELCOME BACK M&b! :)

A 4 dollar Timex from a flea market is likely to be better calibrated than the miles per hour functions of the most expensive trip computer.

Be aware, however, that as a reliable device for measuring your true performance, a stopwatch is about the worst thing to use for cycling, because wind in one direction is unlikely to equal wind in another direction, and your time is very much dependent on it.

For example, let's say you are otherwise swimming in Lake Minnewaska. You know the distance, and you know what you've done there before, and you are doing pretty well, when… all of a sudden, the lake turns into the Colorado River and you are swimming against the rapids. Would you give much credance to that day's time?

Cycling is like that every day. You are probably a lot stronger than you think.

Additionally, an even more wretched index of performance would be to post something on this website and expect to be treated fairly. We are sorry if we have ever given you that impression, and we will try to do better in the future.

Say ddoT shows up with his meter for one of the Widder's tests and paces beside her, say for her first 200 watt 4 mile split.

Will his meter show the same 200 watts, and if not, what will the differential be?

Well, of course, he's a lot heavier, so there is no way he will be pushing the same watts, but will the specific differential in the results be repeatable in the same set of circumstances?

On top of that, I told you the weather sucked here.

Welcome back, should be warm enough to ride in August.

In any case, the real question is this: Given your experience with leg presses, etc, do you find the Ergomo gives you consistent readings, and quickly?

Such as: this pressure feels just like this, and this is the number of watts it shows me, and it almost always shows me this exact number if I press this hard?

Although the one problem I had with the measuring device was merely a matter of mistaken identify (Polar not SRM), it turns out two of the other problems I had with the system are still valid, and neither of those problems are related to price—even though the SRM is considerably more expensive than the PowerTap.

The major problem with the SRM system is that it is not an easy upgrade to any give bicycle (meaning you can't just buy it and plug it in without a massive outlay in time talking to "specialists"), nor is it easily swapped out for a standard drive train when required.

Secondly, SRM (same as Saris with the Powertap) does not give easily accessible full disclosure of how the system functions.

Therefore, further discussion of its merits for any given application very quickly reduces to the "how many angels can dance on the head of a pin" variety, so I bailed out of the study, but it is still unlikely the unit fulfills my every dream regarding useful features.

Plus, the Powertap is well matched to the Computrainer, and it is wildly better than using a standard speed sensor and/or Heart Rate monitor alone—at least as relates to your current situation.

Three months of drought and 85° weather. Now this.

How does anybody expect to stay in shape around here?

Looks like there might be a break in the rain around 9. Just enough to get out on your bike.

Start putting on layers now, and you might be ready in time.

BTW: Mama Bianchi sent Big over yesterday to fuck with you, and he pointed out you got your watt meter systems confused.

The problem you had with the SRM, turns out to be the Polar system instead. You will have to do another review.

God help us… every one.

I got a message for Mr. the Sling-a-Shot.