American Road Cycling is happy
to have had a hand in numerous race results coming in from this
year's Lake
Placid Ironman.
Hearing that Godzilla trounced the
living shit out of a bunch of power lines, commuter trains, and
innocent bystanders is one of our happiest moments.
To answer his first question, regular rides are still going out,
even though Paul's widdle weggies huht (still) from his sojourn
over there. Paul's
also been caught sneaking out on the
Silence of the Lambs
ride with his little friend
Dickwad, so
Mr. Latrine is often considered missing in action.
However, The West Point Loop with San
Remo, Harriman with Tiorati Brook Road, Cat Fight Hill,
Heart
Attack Hill, Bead Hill,
Bead Hill Backwards, Eat Shit and Die Hill, Bob's Hill, Bob's Favorite Hill,
Descent Du Paul,
Cow Shit Hill,
Knucklehead Hill,
The Hump, The Rump, The Rump with a Boil, Kain
Road, Cascade Road, Bob's Gun Exchange Loop,
Skin Head Hill
after the Goshen Road climb, The Triple Step, The Great View of
the Trestle, Sunrise Mountain, High Point,
The Vortex, Space Farms, Dr. Art's Odyssey,
High Vista Drive (New!),
the 36T Flat Loop, Dangerous Dan's Wednesday Time Trial,
Westwood Velo's Silver Mine Time Trial,
Perkins Drive, the New Paltz Loop, Fast Erna's New Paltz, Bull
Corner, Pine Bush Loop, the Hill Behind Paul's,
Guymard Turnpike
with Prospect Hill, The Grind,
Backwoods Warwick,
Eagles' Nest,
Joe Fix It's Tuesday
Night (and now Sunday), Pickles, etc are all
possible, in fact probable, and ongoing. All the while, we are on a constant lookout for
copperheads.
Not to mention, The Tour de Goshen is
coming up, plus
Chuckie's Mission—if anybody's got the guts for it.
As for
The Mission, Paul has publicly
stated that he has now done
enough hills to last a
lifetime. Maybe he wouldn't be so tuckered out if he hadn't
spent last Sunday's ride behind the group pushing me past George
Tail, then George Tail past me, then me past Tail, Tail past
me...going up every largish type hill that should have by rights taken
us both out long before. Paul should ride smarter, and not give in
to the temptation to keep everybody in the ride just so he can keep
watching them suffer. If he'd just save himself a little, ride a
little smarter, he might be able to get it up for
A Mission.
In any case, contact
Signature
Psychos to confirm dates, or see the list of
sanctioned American Road Cycling events.
By the way, anybody who does call
Stinkature
Cyclops must first ask if Paul knows anything about this
"Papa Bear when he saw [Kevin] on the first loop in Lake Placid"
story. Report back to American Road Cycling about it, because
we are afraid to ask Paul ourselves.
Actually, after this letter was
published, we did get up the gumption to ask Paul, so we can now confirm
the Papa Bear story is terrific, but we're still letting Paul tell
you. Anybody who's done Lake Placid knows half the story already.
For the full recounting contact:
Stupider
BikesSocks. It is a real credit to all those of us who helped
kick Godzilla into the shape it took to for him to do what he did.