American Road Cycling

[ Home | Rides | Chatter Box | Comics | About | Fees | Join | Members | FAQContact | Dedication ]   

The Closer to Perfection the Further from the Truth
(Correct Cycling: E=mcpoppycock)
- SlingShot 09/08/05

Click for Power to Weight Calcultor. This graph abstracted from: Firth, Malcom. "A Look At Time Trial Pacing Strategy"

Cycling researchers probably find this page looking for something like the chart above.

The most recent information (with Race Category power stats) is found starting at the:

Super Simple Power to Weight Calculator

The remainder of this page was first published: 09/23/2005

Recently I came across Einstein's famous formula E=mc2 in some context or another. These days I seem to be in the mood to test my understanding of all things I have previously taken for granted.

I constantly look up words to make sure they mean what I typically use them to mean, and this little formula struck me as one of those words that I have always let slip by unchallenged.

Though I have had a basic understanding of the theory of relativity since about the age of 11, plus a kernel of realization regarding the equation's meaning, I decided to take another look at it with the idea of solidifying my thoughts on the subject. Having some time ago gotten the answer to "...the sound of one hand clapping," I figured this little equation shouldn't pose much of a challenge.

In the blink of an eye I quickly questioned each element in turn. First I looked at E.

Energy? Based on what scale? Joules, Amps, Degrees Centigrade, Kelvin, Computrainer Watts? Just exactly what fucking measure of Energy?

Ok, so m for mass is rather simple, but c2? Why squared? Why not cubed? Why not larger? Why not a little smaller. How does one test this thesis which uses an already unobtainable speed multiplied arbitrarily by itself?

Sounds like somebody just picked a number out of the blue (so to speak) and said, "Well, this will absolutely insure that the roots of the equation are so bizarre nobody will ever dare test the underlying theory and call me on being the self taught idiot asshole that I am sure that I am."

Pure genius. Most people still take this formula as unassailable truth. An iconic utterance.

Sure enough, I went straight to Amazon and found a book about the hooey factor embodied in Einstein's theory. So I am not the only one who has noticed there's a problem here, and it somewhat confirms what I thought about the whole idea when I sat at my Seventh Grade school desk and gave up on it, then stepped through a rudimentary design of what later became the scanning electron microscope—which other more mature minds did the actual work on in order to make it work...while I wasted my time thinking of all sorts of such things and failed English at the very same moment I was testing in the top ten percent on Standardized State English tests...then later second percentile in National tests. Lucky thing I had fun taking tests, or I'd still be flippin' burgers. But that's an aside.

Notwithstanding giant WMD holocausts orchestrated by people altering (in ways the typical man on the street has no way of following, maybe even some of the women) yet altering most particulars of E=mc2 so that those holocausts did derive a precipitate of very impressive result, malarkey is still malarkey.

Except it is an interesting little word (E=mc2), so I went out looking for more.

This is the path American Road Cycling will now take. A thread of physics will be followed, just so I can better understand all the nonsensical theories under the general heading of "bike fit" that permeates the Internet these days. This will probably be rather boring for most, so thoughtless pussies are welcome to get off at the next stop...which would be right here.

Moving forward, the first two books that the rest of us will look at are:

Bodanis, David. "E=Mc2: A Biography of the World's Most Famous Equation". New York: Berkley Books, 2000. ISBN: 0-425-18164-2

Feynman, Richard P. "Six Easy Pieces: Essentials of Physics Explained by Its Most Brilliant Teacher". New York: Basic Books, 1995. ISBN: 0-465-02392-4 (apparently Feynman is pronounced "fine-mun" see also:

Neither of these are the one I found at Amazon about the hooey factor embodied in Einstein's theory. That book is:

Kamenov, Kamen George. "Space, Time and Matter, and the Falsity of Einstein's Theory of Relativity". New York: Vantage Press, 2000. ISBN: 0533130972

That book will be addressed after a more solid foundation is established regarding what most people "think is true" about our little formula.

The Feynman book was purchased for the Black Widow whom SlingShot is constantly harassing to learn the basics of physics, so she can kick your whiny ass, no matter who you are. He even made her read this paragraph from its Introduction (p. xiv):

"Right at the beginning of SIX EASY PIECES we learn how all physics is rooted in the notion of law—the existence of an ordered universe that can be understood by the application of rational reasoning."

Starting with this quote is a good beginning, because stating it now will hopefully grab by the collar those who believe the Universe is ruled by unfathomable magic and dissuade them from reading on. They will most certainly lose interest, if the bad words used on the American Road Cycling site haven't already achieved that end, and that will be a good thing, because the rest of us, who try not to hold superstition as truth, will eventually need those others to carry our strap-on-bombs into unsuspecting marketplaces, or maybe get them to wear our body armor onto whatever foreign soil is in vogue at the time when the thinking remainder of us, who understand the use of reason, find it convenient to convince them to fodder themselves at our behest. This has more or less been the sorts of jobs the unthinking crowd has always fulfilled anyway, so we won't be asking too much of them.

If something stated here has not got you really pissed off, you haven't been reading carefully.

The next installment will expand on the quote above and begin pointing to the reasons your bike doesn't fit, and the reasons it never will.


this page last updated:
02/01/2015 10:38:47 PM

A Def Unc T Publication