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SlingShot Arrested!

- SlingShot

No, SlingShot did NOT get arrested, which is too bad, because it would have made a great headline. Here's what really happened.

SlingShot got kicked out of the Warwick Elementary School. Then he got chased by the Heritage Trail cops. Some background is in order, because SlingShot needs your help on this one.

Here is the story that explains why SlingShot is still in hiding in Florida State and why, though he has never asked anything of the American Road Cycling readership before, he must now make a plea for help.

Many of you may remember SlingShot from before he became a cyclist. You will recall that SlingShot was a musician. He performed in concerts, he taught music, and he had a full blown recording production studio used by numerous local (and not so local) bands and musicians. He was most well known for composing and producing his own music.

All this culminated, as one of Dr. Hull's wonderful histories of Sugar Loaf recalls, in SlingShot producing  a groundbreaking album of his own music titled: Factory Preset.

Here's a link to help those of you who may not already know all this. However, before you click be advised this is SlingShot's personal web site which exists in absolute disarray because he spends all his time working on American Road Cycling. Also, he has no desire whatsoever to put his music on the Internet and have it stolen by 10th graders.

In any case, CLICK HERE, but come right back.

All this music background is mentioned only because it may be important in understanding SlingShot's current troubles, maybe in particular it shows why he is remains in hiding in the Southland, living amongst the geriatrics.

So here we go.

In the old and golden days of the bare beginnings of computers being used in music production, someone who was so deeply involved as SlingShot in music composition and production gained recognition for their Golden Ear, and a person who was so deeply involved in recognizing the best in music reproduction was often referred to as an Audiophile. The perfect term.

This is surely a good description of a large portion of SlingShot's work. Aside from his blistering mastery of guitar, voice, and piano, he was the audiophile's audiophile. Since, you have seen his web site linked above, there is no need to elaborate further on this.

Suffice it to say, now that SlingShot is involved in cycling, he felt it would be advantageous to carry over his old credentials and begin to establish a similar reputation in the art of riding.

Unfortunately, there are no similar designations such as "Golden Ear," "audiophile," or "visionary music composer," to be found within road cycling, so SlingShot realized he must come up with a new term in order to describe his skills around it.

He tried several names: "Golden Wheel," "grindician," "calipologist," etc. Nothing seemed to fit. Then he came up with the only term that adequately suited his current situation by combining his sense of "pedsmanship" with absolute "love of the sport" into the totally new term:


That seems to be where the trouble began. Seeking to reclaim his glory days in music education, SlingShot went immediately over to the local elementary school to enlist as many young people into his growing cadre of cycling sports enthusiasts as he may find.

But when the local school officials found him on the playground plying his new trade, they demanded credentials. SlingShot had come prepared so easily whipped out his American Road Cycling ID and proudly stated, "I am just trying to get kids excited about my interest. I am a Pedalfile. See, here is my card, I am in fact a fully registered Pedalfile. I am here to get as many kids involved as possible, in any way that I can. I am sure they will love it. It is HUGE!"

SlingShot was shocked to be so roughly treated, but he was kicked off the premises without so much as a curtsey. He was however undaunted, so went directly over to the Chester School; you know, the one next to the Heritage Trail, and he tried again.

The last thing he remembers about the incident was his proffering his American Road Cycling ID to the trail cop and saying, "No, really. It's ok. I'm a registered Pedalfile. Just let me talk to the kids."

But when he saw that certain unmistakable glint of competitive nature in the cop's eye, SlingShot decided to race him to the other end of the trail.

Those lumbering cop bikes are loaded down with all kinds of stuff, and have big knobby tires, so when SlingShot got to the "cattle shoot" fences the cop was out of sight. SlingShot took the moment to think, and decided to make a game of hide and seek out of the race, so he jumped into the bushes behind the first fence. There he immediately realized it would be even more interesting to move the hiding part of the game down to Florida, where he remains today.

So, though SlingShot has never asked a single thing of you in the past, he must this time beg for your help.

If you all of you would just print out a fresh new copy of your American Road Cycling ID and carry it down to your local school, explain who SlingShot is, state how you are also a registered Pedalfile, then describe the manner in which all of us plan to expand our desires by riding our bikes throughout every neighborhood that surrounds a street and gather as many kids as possible to our sides, that should do it. If you will all but do this, well...SlingShot is sure he will be able to come back to NY.

He is sorry that he must ask for your help. He does so only because the Black Widow has been totally worthless on this account. Every time he mentions this (several times daily), she just shakes her head, and SlingShot doesn't get it.


this page last updated:
02/01/2015 10:38:53 PM

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