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Members Mail Answered

Date:      07/13/2005
From:    
Jimmy "Nails" (formerly: Sissy Boy) Calandrillo
Subject: Membership Status


Original Submittal:


Hey Assholes, I don't like the name Bozo. I want my two cents back. I quit your stupid club.

I hate you.

Jimmy

 

Response:

Even though expressed in a manner viewed a tad too reserved to our taste, we did understand Jimmy's feelings to some degree, though we were totally shocked when he resigned in disgust.

Seemingly he has some bad feelings stemming from our assigning him American Road Cycling Membership and attaching the category of Bozo to his ARC Involvement field. In retrospect, our actions may have been ill advised; but, in our defense, it is widely understood that no other title fits him so perfectly well.

After Mr. C's letter of resignation, our first thought was to send him the American Road Cycling customary Good Riddance Form Letter. This would not have reduced our stock of letters by much; because, though we do use a lot of them, we get lots of them printed up in advance. Unfortunately, we were dismayed when it was brought to our attention that the submittal of his resignation had in effect constituted a fully legal tendering of a second Membership Fee, which is to say, Jimmy essentially has gone and put in his 2 again.

That means he has now paid-in-full for two lifetime memberships, which according to the as yet unwritten bylaws of American Road Cycling must be served by the person(s) specifically paying the fees, are not subject to assignation, must be fulfilled not concurrently, but consecutively.

Understanding that the second term will not be accomplished without some effort, we are chagrined to have placed James in this position. In order to mitigate the situation best we can, our only recourse is to immediately remove the designation Bozo from the listing of Mr. Nails and bestow upon him permanently the label President Emeritus. In that way he may proceed with his servitude under full disclosure without the necessity of canvassing the neighborhood to make the required notifications about his character and life choices.

Our hands are tied.

On being contacted for comment Jimmy said only, "Just when I thought I was out...they pulled me back in."

What a bozo.


this page last updated:
06/26/2013 07:51:27 AM

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