Date:      09/13/2005
From:     Nuclear Dan Buckley
Subject: Response to E=mc^poppycock

Original Submittal:

Hi Bob,

I guess it's your calling to piss off people.
anyway, check out this stupid ballard...

Ballard ‘bout Bob

This one is for Bob so he won’t feel neglected,
That’s not the true reason that he’s been selected,
The story ahead has some things I injected,
In hope the result will leave him more respected.

(Sounds like the makings of a good RAP tune)

You know him as Slingshot, the name he holds dear,
Cycling downhill at fifty, without any fear,
An athlete with courage that one must revere,
Oh, this is all bullshit, I’m not that sincere.

He has many good points; let’s think for a while,
Oh, now I remember, that thousand-buck smile,
The dentist did great; his mouth’s no longer vile,
When you ride with Bob now, you are riding in style.

The man looks so valiant on his two-wheeled steed,
His pedal strokes perfect but he doesn’t gain speed,
So you’ll never see Bobby up front in the lead,
Now this is the truth, these are words you can heed.

Lets get back to the good stuff, I think there is
more,
Yes, one thing about Bob, he is never a bore,
He speaks of the day he will even the score,
That keeps us all laughing down deep in our core.

Now there are some places where he won’t be beat,
When he puts pen to paper it’s always a treat,
Although his ideas are so often off beat,
While reading his work we are glued to our seats.

And with a computer, he’s the best that there is,
To many of us, these machines are a quiz,
So when we’re in trouble we call on the Whiz,
He’ll help bail us out with that knowledge of his.

Charity is a virtue that Bob doesn’t lack,
If asked, he will give you the shirt off his back,
Some people may think that this guy is a “wack”’
But most folks will tell you, Bob’s on the right
track.

Yes these are his good points, a short list it’s true,
But to speak of the bad points would surely bore you,
We’d go on forever and never get through,
Now I hope Bob is happy, we gave him his due.

alrightythan
db

Response:

This ballard, as Dan always calls them, was almost denied publication due to GOOD things being said about Bob—totally uncalled for, and unappreciated. Unfortunately, the Black Widow started snorting so loud when she read it, the only way to quiet her down was to put it online. At least she didn't suck a blueberry up her nose like she did from laughing so hard at Dan's last ballard, which was about her.

Also, people do like Dan's ballards so much, publication was forced on popularity alone, despite GOOD things being said about Bob. It is in response to the first E=mc^poppycock article, which thread is still in progress.